We all bear grudges at one time or another. Someone has wronged us, either by a real infraction or a perceived one, and we are hurt. There is a wound on our psyche and we suffer. The hurt remains and we are tied to the person and the event by this feeling. This is maintained by being unforgiving.
Forgiveness cuts these ties. By forgiving the person of the wrong they have perpetrated against us we release ourselves from the anchor that hinders our spiritual development.
Some people, myself included, feel that withholding forgiveness denies victory to the perpetrator. We feel that we have the upper hand, the moral high ground in the conflict. Truth is, quite often the perpetrator doesn’t remember the action, doesn’t care about the event and may even be not guilty of any wrongdoing. The only person suffering is the victim. Not always, but even when the grudge is justified, holding onto it only perpetuates the original act. It is as if there just wasn’t one harmful act, but a succession.
We can heal ourselves by forgiving the person, either outright through contact with that person, or just in our own minds. We release ourselves from the event and the harm it had caused. The effects may not be immediate, but healing will occur over time.
There are additional posts on forgiveness on this blog, just go to the “Labels”section in the sidebar and click on “Forgiveness”.
The Blessed Mother is always ready to assist us:
Pray:
Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen
From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”
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I have experienced the healing serenity of forgiveness as the giver and as the receiver. Praying for the person concerned really works. It’s not letting anyone off the hook but me. I used to brag about my ability to hold a grudge,but it only kept me sick. I don’t forgive for their sake, but for my own.