Of the pillars of my Catholic Faith, two are very important (apart from my marriage): my consecration to the Blessed Virgin Mary through the method of St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe and my devotion to the Divine Mercy, as revealed to us by Our Lord through St. Faustina Kowalska. There are other “pillars,” but these I’ll discuss now.

I consecrate myself daily to the Blessed Mother recite the Divine Mercy chaplet. And oftentimes throughout the day I say “Jesus, I Trust in You.”

But what does all that really mean? It comes down to Divine Providence and trusting that your prayers are heard and that the intentions mean something and that God will hear and answer your prayers. Perhaps not in the way you scripted, but somehow “He has your back.” Quite often I fear that I entrust myself to Mary and then by my actions I take it back a little. And similarly, I trust in Jesus, but take it back.

How do I take it back? By actions and feelings, but mostly feelings. Fear and anxiety about problems currently being faced and a future that is scary… Why bother entrusting yourself to Mary and trusting in Jesus if your fears and worries imply that you don’t really mean it?

Trusting in Divine Providence is scary; it requires deep faith and an abiding conviction that God is real, not just some nice fairy tale or soothing concept that gives us comfort. God exists, He is real, He understands us and responds to our needs. He was one of us, and remains to this day among us on our altars and in our tabernacles in the Eucharist. We need patience and trust that things will happen in time; when we need it, not always when we want it.

But it is still scary. It’s like the future is some dark tunnel or hallway and there’s no light anywhere illuminating the interior. You know you have to go through the tunnel as that’s the way to the future. And so you step into it and realize that it doesn’t get brighter.

I love “Divine Mercy in My Soul,” the spiritual diary of St. Faustina. I wrote before that “The Diary beautifully describes the love and mercy of God. I feel it is a text that every sober Catholic should have. It often serves to lift my spirits in ways other books do not (save for the Gospels.) When I read it I feel like it is a long, soothing letter of comfort, consoling me when times are difficult.”

Throughout it Our Lord is telling her that it wounds Him when people do not trust Him; not trusting in His mercy or His Providence.

So I’ve been thinking about that; like I said above, either God and religion is real or it’s all a bunch of hooey. Too often, when our fears and anxieties about the future overtake us and we fret all night in bed and don’t get to sleep, it’s as if we become functional atheists. We believe there is a God but we don’t quite have the faith that He hears, understands and plans for us. Including providing for us. Either our Faith is real or it’s not.

The mystery is how He will do it. Therein lies some of the fear and anxiety as often it might not be quite how we’d envision. We’d have more confidence if we knew what He was going to do, but of course it doesn’t work that way.

It takes courage to go out into the deep, to cast your nets into the future and hope that the fish swim into the net.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)