Stop on over to the Shop SoberCatholic store on Pixels Tuesday, November 19th!!!!! 50% Off All Apparel (T-Shirts, Sweatshirts, TankTops, Onesies, Menswear, Womenswear!!! While you’re at it, see what else is available (sale exclusive to apparel!)
Click on the images below!
My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)
How long have you been reading SoberCatholic? Whether you just discovered it or have followed it since 2007, I hope it has helped you on your journey—whether in sobriety, faith, or life’s challenges.
This GivingTuesday, I’m asking for your support to help my family through a difficult time and sustain the mission of SoberCatholic.
Why Support Sober Catholic?
1. Its Mission: For nearly 18 years, SoberCatholic has provided spiritual encouragement and guidance for those in addiction recovery, rooted in Catholic teachings.
2. Sustaining the Blog: Hosting and renewing the blog’s URL in June 2025 will cost several hundred dollars. Your contribution ensures SoberCatholic remains online as a resource for its community.
3. Future Projects: I’m working on books and devotionals, like a Sober Catholic Prayer Book, Sacred Heart Devotional, and updates to previous works like the Recovery Rosary. Your support will help me complete these projects and expand the reach of this apostolate.
4. Personal Needs: My wife and I are facing health challenges and some financial strains this winter. Your help will ease these burdens, allowing me to focus more fully on my mission.
How to Donate:
Donations to me are not tax-deductible but will directly support SoberCatholic’s work and my family’s immediate needs. You can donate anytime via:
PayPal: Sober Catholic (Account name: Paul Sofranko)
My goal is $2,000, but every every little bit helps! Whether it’s $5, $50, or more, your contribution will make a difference—no amount is too small. Donate today through PayPal at SoberCatholic (Paul Sofranko). Thank you for supporting this mission!
What You’ll Receive:
As a donor, you’ll get periodic updates on book projects, more regular blog posts, and the satisfaction of knowing you’re part of this mission to help others grow in faith and sobriety.
Thank you for considering this opportunity to give back. Together, we can keep SoberCatholic thriving for years to come.
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)
I have a new book out: The Sober Catholic Way is a basic handbook on how anyone can live a sober life and helps Catholics by describing the many ways in which their faith can assist in maintaining sobriety. Drawn from nearly two decades of blogging at SoberCatholic, “The Sober Catholic Way” shows the importance of the sacraments, the Bible, the Catechism and other books. It continues on with the various ways one can “live” out Catholicism by nurturing devotions to the Sacred Heart, Blessed Virgin Mary, and other saints. All of these contribute to sobriety as well as one’s spiritual progression!
Discover the importance of the Real Presence, the Rosary, the Stations of the Cross, St. Joseph, St. Therese (the “Little Flower”) and Matt Talbot. You’ll get ideas on how to apply the Beatitudes, the Divine Mercy Message, as well as learning about the Apparitions of Our Lady at Guadalupe, Lourdes and Fatima and how they can guide one’s life.
It is currently available through Amazon on Amazon Kindle, as well as a paperback: click here to buy as a paperback. It is also available as a paperback through Barnes and Noble: Order The Sober Catholic Way as a B&N paperback! as well as an ebook for your Nook! It is also now available at numerous other ebook retailers like Apple Books and Smashwords.
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!
My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)
This upcoming Monday I will be interviewed by Bear Woznick of Bear’s School of Manliness at Spirit of Adventure Ministries. I’ve listened to his radio show on my local Catholic radio station, but have never viewed the video version. To get into the spirit, I’m spending this weekend catching up and this one from a month or so ago caught my attention:
“From Addiction to Catholicism with Deacon Lou Aaron”
In this heartfelt episode, we sit down with Deacon Lou to explore his personal journey of faith, addiction, and God’s healing power. Raised in the Catholic Church, Deacon Lou shares his struggle with alcoholism, his path to sobriety, and the life-changing moment when he surrendered to God. Through raw and honest storytelling, he opens up about how his faith was rekindled, the power of prayer, and his miraculous recovery from cancer.
Join us as Deacon Lou talks about his call to the diaconate, his deep dive into the writings of the Early Church Fathers, and how his illness became an unexpected blessing, opening doors to new ministry opportunities. His story is a testament to the grace of God and the transformative power of faith. Don’t miss this powerful testimony of hope, healing, and redemption.
It’s really interesting. Deacon Lou is another Sober Catholic (in the sense that he’s a Catholic who’s sober, as far as I know he’s not a reader of this blog) who didn’t need AA. You will have to watch the show to learn more. IT IS REALLY WORTH YOUR TIME!!!!.
My interview with Bear is about my new book “The Sober Catholic Way.”
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)
This is an annual post on a fruitful pious devotion for November:
Catholic Culture has an excellent article regarding a very beneficial pious activity that can aid in your own spiritual progression. It also is a good reminder of where we’ll end up someday. (A grave. Morbid, true, but you wouldn’t be here unless you’re more aware than most people that you will die someday.)
Praying for the Dead and Gaining Indulgences During November is something I blog about here annually. It is about the act of visiting a cemetery during the first 8 days of November.
To summarize from the “Catholic Culture” site: “Indulgenced Acts for the Poor Souls: A partial indulgence can be obtained by devoutly visiting a cemetery and praying for the departed, even if the prayer is only mental. One can gain a plenary indulgence visiting a cemetery each day between November 1 and November 8. These indulgences are applicable only to the Souls in Purgatory.
A plenary indulgence, again applicable only the Souls in Purgatory, is also granted when the faithful piously visit a church or a public oratory on November 2. In visiting the church or oratory, it is required, that one Our Father and the Creed be recited. A partial indulgence, applicable only to the Souls in Purgatory, can be obtained when the Eternal Rest is prayed. This is a good prayer to recite especially during the month of November: ‘Eternal rest grant to them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.'”
The article explains the differences between plenary and partial indulgences.
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)
OK, so in my previous post I had written a prayer based on a traditional one that claimed St. Jude was confused with the traitor Judas due to the similarity in names. I didn’t have the prayer handy but was certain that’s how it read. I was wrong. It read that he was forgotten by many. Oh, well. I’m keeping it because I do think people got them confused. I wrote a new one based on this corrected context:
I think that this is further evidence that St. Jude is a leading advocate and intercessor for us. In the throes of our addiction, we were often shunned by family and friends and others. Perhaps rightfully so, given our behavior. Nevertheless, this contributed to our dehumanization. Numbering among the lost, the lonely, being hopeless and desparing of ever having a normal and complete life, we entered the realm of the forgotten. Matt Talbot experienced this; he had no money to buy beer at his favorite Dublin pub and his friends turned him away. This caused him to turn his life around, to ‘take the pledge.’
The emotions experienced when you feel this way, that you are a non-person, may be the bottom oft-spoken of. That “jumping off place,” where you know that if you continue to drink you will die, but if you stop drinking, you may onky wish for death. And so a glimmer of hope begins to glow…
You’ve been there. Take for a moment and think back to those dark times when you were caught in the grips of loneliness and despair.
I wish I had developed a devotion to St. Jude long before this week. There have been countless times where I had felt so alone, llost and forgotten. Granted, we can always turn to Jesus and Mary (and I did,) but to have a specific saint,an apostle no less, who is the advocate of the despairing and alone. (Dear Paulcoholic: May I remind you of your devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows? No one’s feeling of sorrow and hurt was as great as Our Blessed Mother’s as she contemplated her Son’s eventual Passion and death. Not to mention what she went through as she actually experienced it. Dear Conscience: OK, yeah, I know all that. But what I love about Catholic devotional spirituality is that it is designed for everyone in whatever state they’re in, “where they’re at,” so to speak. Reaching out to the Blessed Mother may be difficult for some. But there’s this other guy, see…. Dear Paulcoholic: Point taken. Carry on.)
By the way, if you like the image I added to this post, it, and others like it are (or soon will be) available at my Shop Sober Catholic storefront over on Sober Catholic Pixels site. There are a few products there already, more will be added tonight through this weekend. I would love it if you’d patronize it. I can use the funds. If you’d like to donate through PayPal, the link is here: PayPal Paul Sofranko. This is the third in an ongoing series of solicitaions to help my wife and I get through some financial stresses. Between a combination of underemployment, health issues, sales of one book not being very good, and other factors, we are in a tight money crunch. I have been praying to St. Jude very intensely this week for the alleviation of these issues. If PayPal isn’t your thing, you can also mail a check, payable to: Paul Sofranko; and send it to: P.O. Box 358; North Boston, NY 14110.
Another way to help is by purchasing my books and online products. You can purchase for yourself or multiple copies for others that might be interested. My new book, “The Sober Catholic Way” comes as an ebook for Amazon Kindle, or as a paperback from Amazon. If you prefer Barnes and Noble, then here is the link for a paperback; and if you have a B&N Nook, here is the Nook purchase link.
It is also now available at numerous other ebook retailers like Apple Books and Smashwords. You might also try this Universal Book Link: click and then select the logo of your fave online bookshop.
Click on this page to discover where you can buy The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts.
It’s available through Amazon, B&N and Apple, as well as Smashwords and other retailers.
The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics is also available; that page tells you all the places you can buy it!
Are you creative-minded? Know people who are? Then Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better! (This is the book I referred to above as not selling very well.)
“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” is a call to arms, or rather, a call to pens, paintbrushes, and video cameras, for creative Catholics to take up St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe’s call to infiltrate pop culture and help alleviate the ills that pervade contemporary society. St. Maximilian saw back in the 1920s how the use of cinema, radio, and mass-market books was corrupting society. He thought that those same tools could be used as a countercultural force to overcome this corruption.
Furthermore, it explains through the example of three critical apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary at Guadalupe, Lourdes, and Fatima how she herself suggested strategies and alternatives to the dehumanizing and increasingly pagan contemporary culture we have today.
“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” concludes by showing how the Catholic Faith can be used to provide a road map out of our current morass and a blueprint to build a more just and fair society constructed according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy and other elements of traditional Catholic Social Teachings.
Get it for your Amazon Kindle through this link!
Prefer the paperback? Get it through this link!
Thank you for reading this far, as well as for whatever assistance you can provide. It is greatly appreciated and I will add you to my prayers. St. Jude may also appreciate your cooperating with him in this…
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)
This is a follow up post to Monday’s one of St. Jude Thaddeus, Apostle and patron saint of alcoholics and addicts.
As I mentioned in that post, I became enamored with St. Jude when I read several prayer cards of his. They gave me the idea of recruiting him to be a patron of alcoholics.
They also gave me an idea for a series of posts on him. (I’m trying to make up for lost time. I should have become a devotee of his long ago.)
In many prayers to him, he is referred to as being “confused with the traitor.” This is easy, as the traitor is Judas, and so is one version of our saint’s name. Hence it being changed to “Jude.” Nevertheless, in the first few centuries, when literacy was not common and the canonical books of the Christian Scriptures hadn’t been codified until the late 4th century, it is easy to see how he could have been confused with Judas.
How does this connect to alcoholics? In one way, I liken ‘confused’ to being ‘misunderstood.’ Also, being falsely accused. You are an early Christian and you’re reading texts that are considered sacred or at least important, or they are being read at Mass, and “Judas” comes up. Naturally, you are disposed to feeling very negative towards the person, even though it is not the traitor, just another with the same name. So, people are often thinking very negatively about this person. (Jude was martyred in the year 65. Many of the accepted New Testament texts had been written by then, so it’s even possible that he may have been aware of the confusion with the traitor.)
One of the consequences of being an alcoholic is being misunderstood. Our motivations are questioned, as is our sincerity. Our behavior leads others to think we are capable of greater sins than what we’ve actually done. In St. Jude, we have an Apostle who is in our corner; he understands the pain of having our actions and character misunderstood. Think about that when you feel as if people do not know (or appreciate) “the real you.” Apostles are the pillars of the Church: her dogmas and doctrines, her safeguarding of the Gospel message of Christ. All Catholic bishops are lineal descendants of the Twelve Apostles. Having an Apostle understand you is a mighty thing.
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I’d like to take the time to reiterate a plea I made at the end of Monday’s post, that of offering some financial assistance to help us bridge the gap between now and Spring. We are experiencing financial stresses, and one way of helping out is by paypalling me whatever you can spare at: PayPal Paul Sofranko. (It is NOT tax-deductible.) You can also mail a check, payable to: Paul Sofranko; and send it to: P.O. Box 358; North Boston, NY 14110.
Another is through the purchase of my books. All are offered through Amazon. My Amazon Author’s Page lists them all. If you wish to find retailers other than Amazon, please visit their pages: The Sober Catholic Way; The Recovery Rosary, The Staions of the Cross for Alcoholics and Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics.
A third way is to purchase some products I am creating to help promote this blog and apostolate. You can Shop Sober Catholic! That page offers a selection from many other products, such as T-shirts, mugs, rosary cases and zippered book cases, stickers for your laptop, smartphone cases, and much more! You can see the entire product line at The Sober Catholic Pixels Shop! I will begin promoting these soon!
I just added some new products, including some featuring St. Jude and a prayer I wrote for alcoholcs and addicts!
Thank you for whatever assistance you can provide. It is greatly appreciated and I will add you to my prayers.
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)
Today (Oct. 28) is the feast day of St. Jude Thaddeus (it’s also shared with St. Simon the Zealot, but St. Jude is the subject of this post.)
St. Jude was one of the Apostles of Our Lord and is the author of the Epistle of Jude in the New Testament. He is often called the “brother of Our Lord,” but this is an extended meaning of the term “brother,” in reality Jude was the cousin of Jesus as Semitic languages lack the word for “cousin.” He is often depicted with having a flame about his head; this symbolizes his presence at the first Pentecost and also distinguishes him from Judas Iscariot, the traitor of Jesus, who is quite likely covered in flames of a different sort. St. Jude is also often depicted with a plate or shield with Jesus’ image on it; legend has that he carried this with him and it healed people.
He was martyred by beheading circa 65AD.
I’ve never had all that much of a devotion to St. Jude, mainly because there is so much pop Catholic cultural “stuff” about him. Prayer cards and booklets and so on readily available in parishes, items in the classified sections of newspapers in response to favors granted (and that you are guaranteed a favorable response to your St. Jude novena if you promise to publish the novena for nine consecutive days. This is borderline superstitious as prayer doesn’t really work that way.) All this served to be a little “off-putting” for me, and despite having tons of these prayer cards stashed in a wooden box where I keep excess pious items, I never gave him much thought.
Until yesterday and today. I have been trying to recruit more saints and blesseds to intercede for us alcoholics. For that reason, as well as that I am compiling a prayer book for sober Catholics and I want it to exceed expectations by having numerous saints in there that people do not know about (or who are not typically associated with ex-drunks; St. Dismas is one. ) While I was pondering him yesterday, St. Rita of Cascia also came to mind as she’s important to me (there is a point to this, please bear with me.) She is known as the patronness of impossible cases, just like St. Jude. (Maybe that’s another reason why I never developed much of a devotion to him?) But yesterday I got to thinking about St. Jude, and decided that another saint dedicated to helping hopeless cases could work. He and St. Rita could team up. Based on where I’m at right now (more on that later) I decided to think about cultivating a relationship with him. And I let that slide until today.
And so I looked through that wooden box where I’ve kept all those “excess pious items” and found a bunch of prayer cards. I read them over and they hit me. Yes, I need his help. AND I can begin blogging about him now and then and perhaps those of you who do not have a devotion to him can see the value in it.
And so I just recruited St. Jude to be an advocate and patron saint of alcoholics and addicts. The thought occurred to me that what with all the devotions surrounding him regarding being the patron saint of hopeless and desperate cases, he’d be a perfect intercessor for us. Now we alcoholics and addicts have TWO Apostles in our corner, the other being St. Matthias.
I mentioned a few paragraphs above about “where I’m at.” Due to a variety of circumstances, things are a bit stressed financially at the moment, although they should improve come Springtime when Social Security begins for me and my wife and I begin the process of relocating to a more affordable residence. If you’d like to help out by assisting in bridging the gap between now and then, you can do that in two ways:
One, by paypalling me whatever you can spare at: PayPal Paul Sofranko. Thank you! (It is NOT tax-deductible. It wouldn’t be an act of charity, then.) You can also mail a check, payable to: Paul Sofranko; and send it to: P.O. Box 358; North Boston, NY 14110.
Two: by purchasing my books and online products. You can purchase for yourself or multiple copies for others that might be interested. My new book, “The Sober Catholic Way” comes as an ebook for Amazon Kindle, or as a paperback from Amazon. If you prefer Barnes and Noble, then here is the link for a paperback; and if you have a B&N Nook, here is the Nook purchase link.
It is also now available at numerous other ebook retailers like Apple Books and Smashwords. You might also try this Universal Book Link: click and then select the logo of your fave online bookshop.
Click on this page to discover where you can buy The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts.
It’s available through Amazon, B&N and Apple, as well as Smashwords and other retailers.
The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics is also available; that page tells you all the places you can buy it!
Are you creative-minded? Know people who are? Then Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!
“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” is a call to arms, or rather, a call to pens, paintbrushes, and video cameras, for creative Catholics to take up St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe’s call to infiltrate pop culture and help alleviate the ills that pervade contemporary society. St. Maximilian saw back in the 1920s how the use of cinema, radio, and mass-market books was corrupting society. He thought that those same tools could be used as a countercultural force to overcome this corruption.
Furthermore, it explains through the example of three critical apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary at Guadalupe, Lourdes, and Fatima how she herself suggested strategies and alternatives to the dehumanizing and increasingly pagan contemporary culture we have today.
“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” concludes by showing how the Catholic Faith can be used to provide a road map out of our current morass and a blueprint to build a more just and fair society constructed according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy and other elements of traditional Catholic Social Teachings.
Get it for your Amazon Kindle through this link!
Prefer the paperback? Get it through this link!
Are you a happy Sober Catholic? Then Shop Sober Catholic! That page offers a selction from the many other products, such as T-shirts, mugs, rosary cases and zippered book cases, stickers for your laptop, smartphone cases, and much more! You can see the entire product line at The Sober Catholic Pixels Shop!
I just added some new products, including some featureing St. Jude and a prayer I wrote for alcoholcs and addicts! (It may not be available, yet, so please check back later. Actually, I will probably blog about it when it hits the general public.)
Thank you for reading this far, as well as for whatever assistance you can provide. It is greatly appreciated and I will add you to my prayers.
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)
November is coming up, and I was hoping there might be some information online connecting St. Dismas, the “Good Thief” with devotions for the dead. Alas, I couldn’t find any. I even asked ChatGPT, which came up with:
St. Dismas is primarily invoked for mercy and repentance due to his final act of faith on the cross, which aligns with the Church’s teachings on divine mercy extended to souls in Purgatory. His story reflects the hope for salvation even at the moment of death, mirroring the charitable act of praying for those undergoing purification.
St.Dismas probably skipped Purgatory, given that he was ther ecipient of the first ever plenary indulgence. You could argue that he might have been in Purgatory for a brief period, but after all this time, it is of no matter since he’s on the Church’s list of saints.
This post serves as a reminder that November is soon upon us, with its rich treasure of indulgences for practices and devotions for the dead; as well as that St. Dismas is a great intercessor for those who are at the moment of death, and who might be despairing of salvation. We are reminded in one Gospel account that both thieves mocked Jesu, and in another, Dismas appealed to Jesus for salvation. How can this be? Dismas experienced a deathbed conversion; quite possibly through the intervention of the Blessed Virgin Mary. According to the Ven. Maria.de Jesus of Agreda, while at the Foot of the Cross, the Blessed Mother interceded for Dismas. A pious legend has it that Dismas was practicing his thieving livlihood decades earlier in the Egyptian desert, and came upin the Holy Family while they were fleeing Herod. He had a change of heart about robbing them, and whereupon the Infant Jesus predicted that they would be crucified together in Jerusalem, and that Dismas would accompany Him to Paradise.
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)
I went on a retreat this weekend and didn’t even realize it.
I’ve been feeling a combination of being ‘sorry for myself’ and dealing with recurring stress and anxiety (who isn’t these days?) Much of my stress is over chronic pain (fibromyalgia, arthritis, osteoarthritis… if it’s a muscle or a joint, it hurts. And hurts really bad, too. Plus I’ve had two tooth extractions over the past month. Can anyone say “Broken down, crotchety old man?” Not to mention that I’ve been plagued for the past few months by a voice in my head that has been repeatedly putting me down.
When this happens and I want to remain at home, I often select one of Mother Angelica’s books. I’ve written about this before .
And so I opened Mother Angelica’s Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality and read a few passages on pain, meaning accepting it and the benefits of offering it up. I knew all this as I continually ‘offer it up’ for the usual devotional suggestions (reparation for sins – mine, yours, other people’s; reparations for sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary; for the conversion of sinners; for saving souls…….)
And so I felt better. But I could feel even more better. So I watched a few of her classic programs on EWTN On-Demand. I caught one on using the scraps of your life. “Scraps,” according to Mother, are those things in your past that you cannot let go of. All the mistakes, the stupid, rotten, bad things you’ve done or were done to you, traumas perpetrated against you, and so forth that still haunt you. I know all about scraps; they are the fuel for my fiction writing. I am a firm believer that writing is a form a therapy. Even if you don’t publish a word, creating stories in which you dump all the dumb things you’ve ever done or traumas you’ve experienced to flesh out characters and backstory helps your perspective on them. It also objectifies the pain. But she went on about how the scraps can be used to sanctify yourself. That the scraps of you past life can make you sensitive other people who also are carrying bags of scraps. People who are hurt often are more sensitive to other people who are hurt.
That latter sentence is where I have some difficulty at times. I’ve seen social media memes that say something like “Hurt people hurt other people.” Meaning that hurt people often lash out at others. Their pain causes them to make others feel pain. (This is often the reason why the ‘bad guys’ in fiction often become bad guys. Something bad happened to them long ago, they never got help or justice and so their pain festered and transformed them into a ‘bad guy’ and they kill a lot of people, or rampage across the galaxy enslaving entire species or go around blowing up planets or are just truly wicked. I wrote about that on my other blog.
The “where I have some difficulty ‘at times’” is the feeling that lashing out at others can be justified if the ‘bad guy’ never got justice, help or some kind of moral satisfaction against whoever perpetrated the evil done to him. Of course that’s wrong. The ‘bad guy’ is just creating more victims from innocent people; he is extending to others the evil done to him. It is easy to fall prey to the idea of being justified in one’s victimhood; hey, if no one helped me when I was being driven to suicide by my family long ago, why should I be considerate of others?
OK, I went off on this topic longer that I thought I should, but I’m leaving it in. The thing is, and this is what struck me out of the blue as I was watching Mother talk about sensitivity to others and the marginalized seeking solace in one another due to the accumulated scraps from their past, is that although I didn’t really have an ally or advocate during the many times in my life when I was bullied, mocked and ridiculed or made an outcast, (or driven to consider suicide,) I really did (though I didn’t realize it until later, but that’s OK.) This may sound trite, but my allies were Jesus and His Blessed Mother. I may have mentioned this in a much earlier post (I can’t find it) but I often go to my nearby Adoration Chapel… because I felt summoned to go there. Or to attend a Daily Mass when I didn’t feel like it….because I felt summoned to go there. Same for prayers, at time…. I am just ‘not up to it’ but feel that call to pray a rosary or whatever.
To me, that means that Jesus and Mary want me around them. Therefore, there is no need for me to ever feel like I’ve never had an advocate or an ally. Yes, it would have been nice for God to have ‘done something’ back when I was going through trials, but we all know, but often forget, that trials are there for a reason. (Mother Angelica has lots to say about that in the book I mentioned way up above. In short, they are there to prune us of our pride, self-will, self-love, and teach humility.) In God’s time, justice will be served, and not earlier. I can, right now, just take some comfort in the fact that I am not alone; besides my wife (who also seems to enjoy having me around, go figure) there is Jesus and Mary asking me to spend some extra time with them every so often. They know about the bad things that have happened to me in the past, all the scraps of my life that still haunt me and mutter in the recesses of my mind that “I’m a loser.” But in their own fashion, they will deal with the people who’ve hurt me. And what they can do about them is far better than whatever I could have done. By some divine combination of Mercy and Justice, all will come out in the end. I just have to remain cognizant that my pains and agonies can be companions on the journey and not tormenters. I can convert them into assistants to help me to be kinder and more compassionate.
Incidentally, I watched more than just a few of Mother Angelica’s classics on EWTN On-Demand, but the other shows are beyond the scope of this post. But they all contributed to the feeling that I went on a retreat this weekend for a few hours and my head got rescrewed back on. The little negative voices that have been tormenting me these past few months have fallen silent, today. I hope they stay quiet as it may have been a case of demonic oppression, but I hesitate to give extra credit to Satan to what may have merely been low self-esteem. But on the other hand, given the voice’s persistence….
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