Category Archives: Aloneness

From the womb He had a plan for you

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The First Reading from the Mass for Tuesday of Holy Week reminds us of how special we are to God. Pay special attention to the part italicized:

Isaiah 49:1-6: “Hear me, O islands, listen, O distant peoples. The Lord called me from birth, from my mother’s womb he gave me my name. He made of me a sharp-edged sword and concealed me in the shadow of his arm. He made me a polished arrow, in his quiver he hid me. You are my servant, he said to me, Israel, through whom I show my glory. Though I thought I had toiled in vain, and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength, Yet my reward is with the Lord, my recompense is with my God. For now the Lord has spoken who formed me as his servant from the womb, That Jacob may be brought back to him and Israel gathered to him; And I am made glorious in the sight of the Lord, and my God is now my strength! It is too little, he says, for you to be my servant, to raise up the tribes of Jacob, and restore the survivors of Israel; I will make you a light to the nations, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth.”

(Via USCCB.)

“How special” may be an understatement. We are not just a random collection of atoms, molecules and chemicals. God has a plan for each of us that started with our conception in the womb.

We are precious in God’s sight. Each life, from conception to natural death, is sacred. You were meant for more than just not drinking or attending 12 Step meetings. Make a difference, based on your God-given skills and talents, and don’t care what others think.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Hide not your face from me in the day of my distress

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This excerpt from the Responsorial Psalm for the Mass from Tuesday of the Fifth Week of Lent is an excellent prayer of distress in times of pain:

Psalm 102:2-3: “O LORD, hear my prayer,
and let my cry come to you.
Hide not your face from me
in the day of my distress.
Incline your ear to me;
in the day when I call, answer me speedily.”

(Via USCCB.)

It seems that many of the Psalms picked for the season of Lent recognize the pain and suffering that people find themselves in. Most often it is caused by sin, either the sufferer’s actions or another’s.

Nevertheless, we are being constantly reminded by the Church of the healing and forgiving nature of God.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Close to the brokenhearted

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The Responsorial Psalm for Friday of the Fourth Week of Lent offers comfort to those experiencing pain:

Psalm 34:17-23: “The LORD’S face is against evildoers to wipe out their memory from the earth.

When the just cry out, the LORD hears and rescues them from all distress.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, saves those whose spirit is crushed.

Many are the troubles of the just, but the LORD delivers from them all.

God watches over all their bones; not a one shall be broken.

Evil will slay the wicked; those who hate the just are condemned.

The LORD redeems loyal servants; no one is condemned whose refuge is God.”

(Via USCCB.)

We struggle to do what is right. In the face of great odds, we struggle against those who act against God’s will. Sometimes it is as simple as basic human kindness and decency. We are crushed and dispirited, and lament the apparent pointlessness and futility.

Psalm 34 reminds us otherwise. We shall triumph in the end.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to St. Joseph for Alcoholics: Day 5

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On this fifth day of the novena, we pray:

St. Joseph: “O most watchful Guardian of the Incarnate Son of God, glorious Saint Joseph, what toil was thine in supporting and waiting upon the Son of the Most High God, especially in the flight into Egypt! Yet at the same time, how thou didst rejoice to have near thee always the very God Himself, and to see the idols of the Egyptians fall prostrate to the ground before Him.

By this thy sorrow and this thy joy, obtain for us the grace of keeping ourselves in safety from the infernal tyrant, especially by flight from dangerous occasions; may every idol of earthly affection fall from our hearts; may we be wholly employed in serving Jesus and Mary, and for them alone may we live and happily die.

Now say the Our Father…, the Hail Mary…, and the Glory be…”

(Via Inter Mirifica.)

Alcoholism and addiction necessarily cause periods of instability in our lives. There is uncertainty in every situation in life when there is change, for good or for bad. We leave a stable situation and enter a stretch of time where there is little security, such as those times when we sink deeper into alcoholism, and also when we are on the way out, and are groping for means to stay sober.

Quite often our behavior and reactions to situations cause us to run afoul of authority. We seek help from clergy and are condemned as sinners and therefore are hurt by the Church and leave, to wander about a spiritual desert looking for a home. Or we get into trouble with the law. Drunk driving, criminal misbehavior, and the like.

We move, forgetting that in relocation we take our problems (namely ourselves) with us. We do the same things elsewhere.

For all of those who are in these uncertain periods of transition and in opposition to authority and are suffering for mutual mistakes and abuse, we pray for their healing and that they may see through their pain and return to the safety of your guidance, Lord. We ask this through Jesus Christ, Amen.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to St. Joseph for Alcoholics: Day 1

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As we begin the first day of this Novena to St. Joseph for Alcoholics, we pray:

O chaste Spouse of Mary most holy, glorious Saint Joseph, great was the trouble and anguish of thy heart when thou wast minded to put away privately thine inviolate Spouse, yet thy joy was unspeakable, when the surpassing mystery of the Incarnation was made known to thee by the Angel!

By this thy sorrow and this thy joy we beseech thee to comfort our souls, both now and in the sorrows of our final hour, with the joy of a good life and a holy death after the pattern of thine own in the arms of Jesus and Mary.

Now recite the “Our Father”; the “Hail Mary”, and the “Glory be”.

(Prayer courtesy of: Inter Mirifica.)

If you recall from Sacred Scripture, when Joseph learned that Mary was pregnant with Jesus, he was going to divorce her according to Jewish custom. It is beyond the scope of this blog and this novena to go into that here. It is sufficient to say that he was troubled by the perceived scandal of her “unwed pregnancy”, and that her child was not his. The fact that there was nothing wrong with the pregnancy, as the Angel informed him of its propriety, does not get in the way of the prayer intention of the first day of this novena, which is:

For all who have “unwanted pregnancies” or all those who are experiencing fear and aloneness as they face their pregnancy without a spouse (or responsible partner). May they receive the help and encouragement they need to bring their child into the world. We ask this through Christ, Our Lord, Amen.

What does this have to do with this blog? Easy. If you have been to any number of 12 Step meetings, you are aware that sexual impropriety and misconduct is not an uncommon event in many a member’s past. Single parenthood is common today even way outside of the meeting rooms, but within them there is quite often a tragedy as addiction may have taken its toll on the parent or child. A tragedy may have even been the cause of the pregnancy. Whether by rape, or prostituting oneself for drugs or alcohol, or a lack of discipline caused by the addiction, not all pregnancies are happy and joyous ones.

Often abortion was the “final solution” to the problem, but some had the courage to bring the baby to term rather than commit the abortion.

Some, for whatever reason, chose the abortion out of fear or coercion, or a misguided sense of “inconvenience.” We pray for these people, as well. There is often a subsequent psychological cost to abortion. Many eventually seek out healing for the immense regret over their lost child. We pray for their healing, also. These people are not to be condemned for their act if they have come to regret it and have remorse.

The point of all this praying is that this issue of “illicit” or “unwanted” or “out of wedlock” pregnancy and single parenthood is a work of mercy in need of action. As I’ve said or hinted at before, it is not merely that we stop drinking and develop our sobriety. We need to use our sobriety to grow closer to God and experience His love and forgiveness and to lead others to it. Too many people are hurt and wounded by a number of things. This novena is going to address a whole bunch of those things.

In 12 Step movements we are told to “practice these principles in all our affairs.” Jesus commissions us to live according to His teachings. We don’t just take care of ourselves. We grow in sobriety, therefore we must grow in our responsibility to others.

Sexual sin, even when addressed by repentance and contrition, is painful, even years later. We try to see past the emotions and issues that often cloud our vision and judgment of why people do things. It is in the past and hopefully they’ve reconciled to God.If they haven’t, we pray that they do.

Everyone is broken and wounded. All of us need healing.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Seized with mortal anguish

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In the First Reading from the Daily Mass for the Thursday of the First Week of Lent, Queen Esther was gripped with mortal anxiety over the impending genocide of the Hebrew nation. She prayed to God.

Esther C: 12,14-16,23-25: “Queen Esther, seized with mortal anguish,
had recourse to the LORD.
She lay prostrate upon the ground, together with her handmaids,
from morning until evening, and said:
‘God of Abraham, God of Isaac, and God of Jacob, blessed are you.
Help me, who am alone and have no help but you,
for I am taking my life in my hand.
As a child I used to hear from the books of my forefathers
that you, O LORD, always free those who are pleasing to you.
Now help me, who am alone and have no one but you,
O LORD, my God.

‘And now, come to help me, an orphan.
Put in my mouth persuasive words in the presence of the lion
and turn his heart to hatred for our enemy,
so that he and those who are in league with him may perish.
Save us from the hand of our enemies;
turn our mourning into gladness
and our sorrows into wholeness.’ “

(Via USCCB.)

The idea of being “seized with mortal anguish” is familiar to any alcoholic and addict. When we’ve “hit bottom” and have lost important things and wonder if losing our life is next, or during sobriety when we’ve received several shocks to our lives and that sobriety is threatened, “aloneness” grips us and we feel there is no one out there, perhaps not even God, who cares.

Esther was in that position, but she remembered the religion of her youth and what it taught her. She had recourse to the Lord and sought His help.

Within the excerpt from today’s Mass reading, I emboldened a few phrases. From these we can construct a prayer for alcoholics and addicts who have hit bottom, or are going through severely trying times:

O Lord, my soul is seized with mortal fear,
I have recourse only to you.

Help me, who am alone and have no help but you,
for I am taking my life in my hand.

Take my mourning and turn it into gladness
and my sorrows into wholeness.’

Now help me, who am alone and have no one but you,
O LORD, my God.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

In the desert for forty days

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The Gospel Reading for the First Sunday of Lent provides us with a spiritual model for our own season of fasting and prayer:

Mark 1:12-15 “The Spirit drove Jesus out into the desert,
and he remained in the desert for forty days,
tempted by Satan.
He was among wild beasts,
and the angels ministered to him.

After John had been arrested,
Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the gospel of God:
‘This is the time of fulfillment.
The kingdom of God is at hand.
Repent, and believe in the gospel.'”

(Via USCCB.)

For the 40 days of Lent (Sundays are excluded from Lenten observance) we are essentially wandering in a desert. We are awaiting the fulfillment of the Lord’s mission on Earth, to suffer and die for us and the proclaim the final victory over death. As we alcoholics wandered through a desert while we groped our way through early recovery, when we persevered we “died to our old alcoholic selves” and was resurrected as newly sober individuals. This is the hope for those of you reading this still living in the fear and uncertainty of the new life.

Lent is upon us. Not too late to decide what character defects you can work on or behaviors that separate you from God that you can choose to leave out in the desert to wither and die. Or pray for God’s will to be done in your life and accept whatever comes.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 1

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We are all individuals. Sometimes our sense of individuality gets unhealthy and and is replaced by a feeling of aloneness. We feel isolated and no longer a part of whatever community or communities we belong to. This separation is distinctly harmful and will lead to all sorts of thoughts about our well-being that are untrue. Our problems are worse that anybody else’s. No one likes me. No one notices me, I am invisible.

No one suffers with us.

We somehow must re-establish our connections with those around us and reassert our balanced perspective as to how we are in relation to others.

Prayer is one way. Prayer, that seeking out conscious contact with God and uplifting our hearts and minds to Him reconnects us to the Divine, and in turn helps us to be aware that we are not truly alone. God is there and He softens our hearts and assists us in seeing those about us.

In this novena, we turn to Our Blessed Mother and request her intercessory powers to aid us in our healing. We can turn to her and ask that our feelings of aloneness be banished when they arise.

Pray:

Oh ever immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Enduring suffering

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As I had mentioned in a previous post about This too shall pass , I had gone through some trials at work for much of last summer (2008). It had gotten somewhat better when I realized that others were basically treated as I am, I perhaps worse as I was new and had struggled a bit more. Anyway, what I have gleaned from all this is the acceptance of enduring.

I endured all that. I have four 10 hour shifts every week. I had gotten stronger as a result of patiently enduring all the nonsense I was going through. Quietly putting up with all the stuff has enabled me to appreciate other people’s suffering and made me more tolerant of other’s flaws and faults. Not that I was indifferent to them, but perhaps God needed to sharpen that aspect of my personality.

As a Catholic Christian who longs for going to my true home, Heaven, this has also helped me cope with my Earthly exile.

Trials and suffering strengthen us. As we succeed in coping with these events, we are better equipped to deal with greater issues as we progress along in life (“trudge the Road of Happy Destiny”). All life is suffering interspersed with moments of happiness, joy, wonder and beauty. Those are a foretaste of Heaven.

Enduring can be likened to forging steel. It is tempered to the precise strength needed to do its purpose, whether to form part of a building or to aid in battle as a sword.

This may seem as if I am boasting, but it is not. I went through no small amount of pain, and survived. Just passing along personal experience.

If I accept suffering and patiently endure it, I can be a strong edifice or battle weapon for doing God’s will.

Pray we all succeed in this.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

To suffer with

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According to the Oxford American Dictionary that is installed on my Mac, the word compassion means:

compassion |kəmˈpa sh ən| noun
sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others : the victims should be treated with compassion.

ORIGIN Middle English : via Old French from ecclesiastical Latin compassio(n-), from compati ‘suffer with.’

Take note of the origin of the word: “to suffer with”.

We suffer. We are all wounded and broken in some way. For you reading this blog and the others on the recovery and conversion blogrolls, you understand this. You wouldn’t be here unless you’ve been wounded and hurt in your past. Whether it is by others or most likely yourself (because of your addictions), you know suffering.

To me, it doesn’t matter whether the suffering is self-inflicted or bestowed upon you by others, suffering is suffering.

Suffering tends to isolate us. We think we are alone and this is reinforced by the resistance of others to be near us when we hurt. It sometimes feels as if we are like the lepers of old who had to wear signs identifying them as “unclean”, and thus to be avoided. Sometimes we push people away when we hurt as if contact with others will increase our pain. “Leave me alone” we shout, either with words or a “keep away, keep far away” attitude and demeanor.

We are Christians and as such we are taught by Jesus that we must accept suffering.

Matthew 16:24-25: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

(Via USCCB.)

This does not necessarily mean that we are just to deal with our own suffering. We must also bear one another’s burdens.

Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

(Via USCCB.)

Just as others are resistant to bear our burdens when we hurt, we are sometimes just as guilty when we see others hurting. We do not wish to be burned by whatever is afflicting them, or we are too distracted by our own concerns, or we selfishly prefer our own distractions and do not see and reach out when we can.

This takes us away from others and we become self-absorbed. We get carried away in our own interests and situations. We leave other people to their own suffering and we do not suffer with them. We lack compassion. We temporarily lack the ability to suffer with others. I say “temporarily” because if you possess a well-formed conscience you eventually notice this and wonder what is disturbing you. You discover that you have become too caught up in yourself and there is a world out there, or maybe just a small group of people that you work with or are related to who have been caught up in troubles of their own and have needed you. At least some small attention by you.

So you pick yourself up and resolve to do better. You try to sense what is going on in the lives of others and to tend to them. You hopefully consign your bout of self-absorption to the past (knowing it’ll return from time to time as we are sinners) and allow the experience to sensitize you to other people’s pain.

I chose that word carefully, sensitize. For in the cacophony of the World, we are oftentimes desensitized to other people’s sufferings. There’s just so much and we become numb to it all. And as we are addicts and alcoholics, we indulge ourselves in some distraction that fills us up. We may even rationalize the distraction as being something beneficial to us in the long run, calling it an “experience” or a mental health escape. This is all good, if it can be useful to others down the road.

As long as we remain focused on what is essential, that being:

Matthew 6:33: “…seek first the kingdom (of God)…“

(Via USCCB.)</p

This is New Year’s Day, 2009. We are all “supposed” to make resolutions for the year. In one of my other blogs I write about that: Resolution: One Day at a Time

(Via Trudging Paulcoholic’s Road.)

This may be one resolution that we might be capable of keeping the entire year, if we renew ourselves through prayer and meditation. That is: to try to stay attuned to the suffering that is about us, and to reach out and help in whatever manner we are able.

See you often throughout the year, both here and over at Catholics in Recovery .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)