Category Archives: Anxiety

Novena to St. Joseph for Alcoholics: Day 1

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As we begin the first day of this Novena to St. Joseph for Alcoholics, we pray:

O chaste Spouse of Mary most holy, glorious Saint Joseph, great was the trouble and anguish of thy heart when thou wast minded to put away privately thine inviolate Spouse, yet thy joy was unspeakable, when the surpassing mystery of the Incarnation was made known to thee by the Angel!

By this thy sorrow and this thy joy we beseech thee to comfort our souls, both now and in the sorrows of our final hour, with the joy of a good life and a holy death after the pattern of thine own in the arms of Jesus and Mary.

Now recite the “Our Father”; the “Hail Mary”, and the “Glory be”.

(Prayer courtesy of: Inter Mirifica.)

If you recall from Sacred Scripture, when Joseph learned that Mary was pregnant with Jesus, he was going to divorce her according to Jewish custom. It is beyond the scope of this blog and this novena to go into that here. It is sufficient to say that he was troubled by the perceived scandal of her “unwed pregnancy”, and that her child was not his. The fact that there was nothing wrong with the pregnancy, as the Angel informed him of its propriety, does not get in the way of the prayer intention of the first day of this novena, which is:

For all who have “unwanted pregnancies” or all those who are experiencing fear and aloneness as they face their pregnancy without a spouse (or responsible partner). May they receive the help and encouragement they need to bring their child into the world. We ask this through Christ, Our Lord, Amen.

What does this have to do with this blog? Easy. If you have been to any number of 12 Step meetings, you are aware that sexual impropriety and misconduct is not an uncommon event in many a member’s past. Single parenthood is common today even way outside of the meeting rooms, but within them there is quite often a tragedy as addiction may have taken its toll on the parent or child. A tragedy may have even been the cause of the pregnancy. Whether by rape, or prostituting oneself for drugs or alcohol, or a lack of discipline caused by the addiction, not all pregnancies are happy and joyous ones.

Often abortion was the “final solution” to the problem, but some had the courage to bring the baby to term rather than commit the abortion.

Some, for whatever reason, chose the abortion out of fear or coercion, or a misguided sense of “inconvenience.” We pray for these people, as well. There is often a subsequent psychological cost to abortion. Many eventually seek out healing for the immense regret over their lost child. We pray for their healing, also. These people are not to be condemned for their act if they have come to regret it and have remorse.

The point of all this praying is that this issue of “illicit” or “unwanted” or “out of wedlock” pregnancy and single parenthood is a work of mercy in need of action. As I’ve said or hinted at before, it is not merely that we stop drinking and develop our sobriety. We need to use our sobriety to grow closer to God and experience His love and forgiveness and to lead others to it. Too many people are hurt and wounded by a number of things. This novena is going to address a whole bunch of those things.

In 12 Step movements we are told to “practice these principles in all our affairs.” Jesus commissions us to live according to His teachings. We don’t just take care of ourselves. We grow in sobriety, therefore we must grow in our responsibility to others.

Sexual sin, even when addressed by repentance and contrition, is painful, even years later. We try to see past the emotions and issues that often cloud our vision and judgment of why people do things. It is in the past and hopefully they’ve reconciled to God.If they haven’t, we pray that they do.

Everyone is broken and wounded. All of us need healing.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Remember not our past

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The Responsorial Psalm for the Mass for Monday of the Second Week of Lent helps those of us who have done the 12 Steps, or at least have gone through the first 5 (the moral inventory and the sharing of that with another).

Psalm 79: 8,9,11,13: “Remember not against us the iniquities of the past;
may your compassion quickly come to us,
for we are brought very low.

Help us, O God our savior,
because of the glory of your name;
Deliver us and pardon our sins
for your name’s sake.

Let the prisoners’ sighing come before you;
with your great power free those doomed to death.
Then we, your people and the sheep of your pasture,
will give thanks to you forever;
through all generations we will declare your praise.
“

(Via USCCB.)

We all have “a past”. We all have things that we wish we never did, and want that they just “go away”, not to be remembered by anyone.

With the passage of time, things do indeed dim and are replaced by other events and memories, some good, some bad. The thing that we are concerned with is what mark on our souls and impact upon our eternal life that our past has had.

God is the judge of that. He looks upon our lives and sees where we went astray, but also when we repented and returned to Him. We repent (a conversion of our heart away from the sin and resolve to not commit it again), go to Confession and beseech the Lord to forgive us, and He will. The sins of our past will “not be remembered”, and no longer held against us.

This is important for us alcoholics and addicts who wrestle with our consciences about whatever we had done in the past, especially when memories return to haunt us. Meditating upon this during the season of Lent will help us cope with the weight of our misdeeds.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Seized with mortal anguish

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In the First Reading from the Daily Mass for the Thursday of the First Week of Lent, Queen Esther was gripped with mortal anxiety over the impending genocide of the Hebrew nation. She prayed to God.

Esther C: 12,14-16,23-25: “Queen Esther, seized with mortal anguish,
had recourse to the LORD.
She lay prostrate upon the ground, together with her handmaids,
from morning until evening, and said:
‘God of Abraham, God of Isaac, and God of Jacob, blessed are you.
Help me, who am alone and have no help but you,
for I am taking my life in my hand.
As a child I used to hear from the books of my forefathers
that you, O LORD, always free those who are pleasing to you.
Now help me, who am alone and have no one but you,
O LORD, my God.

‘And now, come to help me, an orphan.
Put in my mouth persuasive words in the presence of the lion
and turn his heart to hatred for our enemy,
so that he and those who are in league with him may perish.
Save us from the hand of our enemies;
turn our mourning into gladness
and our sorrows into wholeness.’ “

(Via USCCB.)

The idea of being “seized with mortal anguish” is familiar to any alcoholic and addict. When we’ve “hit bottom” and have lost important things and wonder if losing our life is next, or during sobriety when we’ve received several shocks to our lives and that sobriety is threatened, “aloneness” grips us and we feel there is no one out there, perhaps not even God, who cares.

Esther was in that position, but she remembered the religion of her youth and what it taught her. She had recourse to the Lord and sought His help.

Within the excerpt from today’s Mass reading, I emboldened a few phrases. From these we can construct a prayer for alcoholics and addicts who have hit bottom, or are going through severely trying times:

O Lord, my soul is seized with mortal fear,
I have recourse only to you.

Help me, who am alone and have no help but you,
for I am taking my life in my hand.

Take my mourning and turn it into gladness
and my sorrows into wholeness.’

Now help me, who am alone and have no one but you,
O LORD, my God.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Spiritual Axiom: a Disturbance of the Spirit

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A few years ago while in very early recovery I had the time to spend getting deep into the 12 & 12 and culling from it what I could. (The “12 and 12” is a book of essays on the Twelve Steps of AA: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, New York: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., 1981)

While going through the chapter on Step Ten, which is:

“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it”,

there is this line on page 90, which is often quoted in AA meetings:

“It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.”

Lynn, over at Addictions / Trust God – Clean House – Help Others wrote an interesting post on this “Spiritual Axiom”. She asked me to write about it but I had to take a break after my Our Lady of Lourdes Novena for Alcoholics (novenas tire me out) so I’m taking up her request now. Here goes!

To me, what is “wrong” is the disturbance. It is wrong inasmuch as the hurt gets us “off the beam”. We’re hurt, in pain, suffering and emotional. This is the “wrong”. It is not wrong as in “error”, but wrong as in “imperfect” and lacking serenity.

There are two more quotes from page 90 which I think support my point:

If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also.

And…

Few people have been victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional “dry benders” often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbances – jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride, often did the same thing.

Therefore, the disturbance, whether it be jealousy or resentment and so on, is what is wrong. This disturbance has the potential to lead us back to drinking as we seek an immediate solution.

I took a day to ponder this, thinking perhaps like many alcoholics in recovery after having read that axiom, that we are what is wrong. We are the problem. Not so. Although we are imperfect beings, this disturbance introduces into our interior life an additional imperfection, one that may be very temporary although very dangerous. This axiom tells us that the external disturbance is the focus of our spiritual progression in recovery and that our reaction to it lies in recognizing it and dealing with it in a sober manner. This removes the disturbance and restores us to health.

Reciting the Serenity Prayer may help in coping with the problem. The entire prayer is posted here, not just the first part that most people know:

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 2

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Anxiety is another cross that we alcoholics have to bear. Fears and worries about the future or about present circumstances and the apparent powerlessness over them leads to anxiety.

Anxiety happens when faith is weak or absent. We lack the confidence that God is there to help us or provide for us, and we feel we are cast adrift. Our inability to deal with things in the past had pushed us to drinking as a means to cope, and now without that crutch anxiety fills the gap.

Anxiety fills the empty spaces where love and faith should abide.

At Mass is the following dialogue after the Lord’s Prayer:

Priest: Deliver us, Lord, from every evil, and grant us peace in our day. In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Via Catholic Resources.)

One of the little-known effects of the Mass is that it is a weapon against anxiety. If we are the faithful servants of our Lord then we should be confident that the One who died for us will not let us stumble and fall beyond His reach.

The Mass is the drama of God’s love for us. Immerse yourself in it. (Helpful if you are a member of a parish with a reverent priest who says the Mass properly.)

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Purpose behind God's love

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One thing that has gotten me through trials, at least since sobering up, is that God has a purpose for me. I am reminded of this passage from Jeremiah:

Jeremiah 1:5

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.

Atheists and skeptics generally believe that we got here by random chance. How horrible, no wonder they usually sound angry and anxious.

Anyway, as a believer I know that God has a purpose for me. This may be a response to depression and anxiety, at least I hope it is.

Since I do not believe that God operates by random chance, and that things are brought into being for a reason, I think that when the day is dark and I am feeling out of sorts, I am going to remind myself that the Almighty God of creation didn’t create me in a moment of whimsy, but He had a reason for me. This is what the Catholic Faith has taught me. We are not the result of random chance. We are the result of a Divine decision.

No matter what garbage may be tossed my way, I have to remind myself of this.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

To suffer with

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According to the Oxford American Dictionary that is installed on my Mac, the word compassion means:

compassion |kəmˈpa sh ən| noun
sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others : the victims should be treated with compassion.

ORIGIN Middle English : via Old French from ecclesiastical Latin compassio(n-), from compati ‘suffer with.’

Take note of the origin of the word: “to suffer with”.

We suffer. We are all wounded and broken in some way. For you reading this blog and the others on the recovery and conversion blogrolls, you understand this. You wouldn’t be here unless you’ve been wounded and hurt in your past. Whether it is by others or most likely yourself (because of your addictions), you know suffering.

To me, it doesn’t matter whether the suffering is self-inflicted or bestowed upon you by others, suffering is suffering.

Suffering tends to isolate us. We think we are alone and this is reinforced by the resistance of others to be near us when we hurt. It sometimes feels as if we are like the lepers of old who had to wear signs identifying them as “unclean”, and thus to be avoided. Sometimes we push people away when we hurt as if contact with others will increase our pain. “Leave me alone” we shout, either with words or a “keep away, keep far away” attitude and demeanor.

We are Christians and as such we are taught by Jesus that we must accept suffering.

Matthew 16:24-25: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

(Via USCCB.)

This does not necessarily mean that we are just to deal with our own suffering. We must also bear one another’s burdens.

Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

(Via USCCB.)

Just as others are resistant to bear our burdens when we hurt, we are sometimes just as guilty when we see others hurting. We do not wish to be burned by whatever is afflicting them, or we are too distracted by our own concerns, or we selfishly prefer our own distractions and do not see and reach out when we can.

This takes us away from others and we become self-absorbed. We get carried away in our own interests and situations. We leave other people to their own suffering and we do not suffer with them. We lack compassion. We temporarily lack the ability to suffer with others. I say “temporarily” because if you possess a well-formed conscience you eventually notice this and wonder what is disturbing you. You discover that you have become too caught up in yourself and there is a world out there, or maybe just a small group of people that you work with or are related to who have been caught up in troubles of their own and have needed you. At least some small attention by you.

So you pick yourself up and resolve to do better. You try to sense what is going on in the lives of others and to tend to them. You hopefully consign your bout of self-absorption to the past (knowing it’ll return from time to time as we are sinners) and allow the experience to sensitize you to other people’s pain.

I chose that word carefully, sensitize. For in the cacophony of the World, we are oftentimes desensitized to other people’s sufferings. There’s just so much and we become numb to it all. And as we are addicts and alcoholics, we indulge ourselves in some distraction that fills us up. We may even rationalize the distraction as being something beneficial to us in the long run, calling it an “experience” or a mental health escape. This is all good, if it can be useful to others down the road.

As long as we remain focused on what is essential, that being:

Matthew 6:33: “…seek first the kingdom (of God)…“

(Via USCCB.)</p

This is New Year’s Day, 2009. We are all “supposed” to make resolutions for the year. In one of my other blogs I write about that: Resolution: One Day at a Time

(Via Trudging Paulcoholic’s Road.)

This may be one resolution that we might be capable of keeping the entire year, if we renew ourselves through prayer and meditation. That is: to try to stay attuned to the suffering that is about us, and to reach out and help in whatever manner we are able.

See you often throughout the year, both here and over at Catholics in Recovery .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Suffering as foreshadowing destiny

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A recent article in Spirit Daily: entitled “OPEN TO GOD, CLEANSE, AND FIND THAT BIG PROBLEMS OFTEN MEAN A GREATER DESTINY” says what I’ve suspected in that sufferings, trials and problems in general in life may be indicative of greater and better things later on.

Read and ponder!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A general apology of sorts

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I feel the need to offer an apology for the lack of posting recently. My wife just told me that I apologize for “not blogging” too much. That’s possible. But perhaps my conscience is bothering me. Or maybe I’m just a melancholic moody alcoholic in recovery and those moods get the best of me. But, I have been very guilty over the past year or so of promising daily posting and coming up with various plans to get myself to do just that. I have not followed through by virtue of the fact that I have never posted daily apart from novenas or a special series on things.

A part of me says that I shouldn’t feel lousy about myself as I have been through a series of major life-changing events this past year, every one of which is usually at or near the top of lists that state: “Doing any one of these things runs the risks of relapse.” (Relocation, job-changing and marriage, all in one year!) But still, I was raised with the notion that if you say you’re going to do something, follow through and do it. The fact that I didn’t relapse and was never seriously tempted to do so is a testimony to my Faith and sobriety. Not a testimony to me, but to the tools at my disposal.

Nevertheless, my intentions have exceeded my ability to deliver. I suppose my eyeballs got too big at blogging possibilities and my grasp reached for too much and I should have toned down expectations and just delivered what I could when I was able.

At any rate, please take this apology as a sincere attempt to work through stuff and get back on a track of sorts. The situation announced in my “blog update-personal news” post is holding true. The office is getting organized.

Blogging, as I always state, will continue. Stopping is never an option.

Thanks for your patience.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Healing Rosary

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There is another interesting article from Spirit Daily entitled: “MYSTERIES OF YOUR LIFE CAN BE REVEALED AND HEALED THROUGH MYSTERIES OF ROSARY”

(Via Spirit Daily.)

I encourage you to read it and ponder.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)