Category Archives: Church

Death as a passage

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What do you think of death? Is it something to be feared, avoided and denied? Like many people do you ignore it and hope it never bothers you?

I have had a relationship with death stretching back to my childhood. Not that I lost anyone close to me during that time, but I feared that I would. My Mom had celebrated her 47th birthday 11 days before I was born. Dad turned 50 a few months before. I thought nothing of that until I went to school at age 5. At school events (choir, plays, etc.) I noticed right away that the other kid’s parents seemed different. I discovered that they were younger. They were farther away from death than my parents were. Death… as in going away permanently. I didn’t much like that. I was convinced that at any time Mom and Dad were going to die. I developed the habit of checking their chests while they were napping to see if they were breathing. This continued long after I reached adulthood during vacations home and after I returned home to care for Mom.

My adult experience of death has been defined by my Mom’s dying in November 2005, and the subsequent griefwork (grief counseling, namely online discussion forums, in person counseling and grief support groups.) After the initial period which lasted well over a year, I developed the notion that death isn’t something to be feared. Sure, I would rather have my Mom and other loved ones still around, but as I moved past the pain and agony of the loss, I was able to see and understand the “Communion of Saints” doctrine of the Church as something of a comfort. This great “cloud of witnesses” that St. Paul writes about in Hebrews 12 may include our beloved dead, gone on before us. They form a part of the Church along with us. Those in Heaven being members of the Church Triumphant, while we still on Earth as a part of the Church Militant. Together with the Church Suffering (those souls in Purgatory) we all comprise the Mystical Body of Christ. We are all members of a community of believers, and as a community can still have a relational bond.

Through prayer and devotion to the deceased, we can still maintain our relationships with them. They are not completely gone. We obviously cannot interact with them as we once did, but it is uncharitable and cynical to regard them as forgotten or “gone”. They are just beyond from where we are.

Therefore, death ceases to be a means by which our beloved are taken away and are gone. Death becomes a passage through which our beloved experience the joy of entering into the presence of God, the domain of eternity where He is.

Ultimately it is a passage that we need to think about and meditate upon. Unlike most times where we focus upon the destination rather than the road, this passage is significant unto itself. Everyone will experience it. Regardless of what you believe happens after death, it is universal. Happens to everyone. This means you. Whether the passage of death leads one to Heaven or Hell depends upon the choices we make while alive. Therefore death as a passage forces this consideration of our daily living. How do we live? How are you “trudging the Road of Happy Destiny?” Catholic teaching puts that AA slogan in a new light.

If your attention is focused upon Heaven, and you consciously yearn for that place which is our true home, the death is to be welcomed and not feared. Perhaps not desired, but certainly not looked upon with dread.

It is our way home.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Calix Society of Tampa needs help

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I received an email from Bryan P. of the Calix Society of Tampa Bay. Bryan tells me that he founded the chapter about one year ago and membership is struggling to grow. If you live in the Tampa, Florida area and are interested in joining, contact info is available in the chapter’s website: Calix Society of Tampa. If you are a Calix Society member elsewhere, and can offer tips or suggestions on promoting a chapter, email Bryan.

If any readers of this blog also have their own blogs (AHEM: you know who you are!), and would like to promote Bryan’s efforts, go ahead and link away!

Bryan’s website contains a wealth of information on Calix. There are also Calix links in this blog’s sidebar. I shall add Bryan’s site in a bit.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Deadly Sin

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There is a death beyond which you cannot imagine. There is a thing which can kill you forever and from which there is no relief.

That thing is mortal sin.

Mortal sin is that sin in which you cut yourself off from God completely, from which there is no eternal life if you die with it on your soul. You condemn yourself to Hell for all eternity.

1 John 5:16-17;

If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life.

This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray.

All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church discusses mortal sin at length in the following paragraphs:

1855
Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to him.

Venial sin allows charity to subsist, even though it offends and wounds it.

1856
Mortal sin, by attacking the vital principle within us—that is, charity—necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and a conversion of heart which is normally accomplished within the setting of the sacrament of reconciliation:

When the will sets itself upon something that is of its nature incompatible with the charity that orients man toward his ultimate end, then the sin is mortal by its very object . . . whether it contradicts the love of God, such as blasphemy or perjury, or the love of neighbor, such as homicide or adultery. . . . But when the sinner’s will is set upon something that of its nature involves a disorder, but is not opposed to the love of God and neighbor, such as thoughtless chatter or immoderate laughter and the like, such sins are venial.

1857
For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”

1858
Grave matter is specified by the Ten Commandments, corresponding to the answer of Jesus to the rich young man: “Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and your mother.” The gravity of sins is more or less great: murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger.

1859
Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.

1860
Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man. The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.

1861
Mortal sin is a radical possibility of human freedom, as is love itself. It results in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make choices for ever, with no turning back. However, although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.

I write about this as there is the real possibility of mortal sins having been committed in our alcoholic past. Granted that there is a serious mitigating factor in that our will was compromised by our addiction, but still our moral reasoning may be in need of correction after sobering up. A strong examination of our alcoholic past in our moral inventory is likely to turn up some unsavory behaviors. Exposing them to another in 12 Step work isn’t enough. It does help clear the past and set us on a straighter moral path, but the stain of sin remains from these past actions.

These need to be taken care of in our return to the Sacrament of Confession. The chance need not be risked that our alcoholism or any other addiction can be used as an excuse to avoid Confession.

Supposition that we’ve suffered enough from them is not good enough, we need the sacramental graces from Confession and the absolution cleansing our soul to save us from damnation.

Our eternal life depends upon it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Happiness from People, Places and Things

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A realization came to me at work some time ago (I think last summer, 2008). It was a bad day at work, and I was wondering about why we have to endure certain things. I know I’ve written a great number of times about the need to accept suffering as evidence of our willingness to follow Christ, but at times I still wonder about happiness, and its place in our lives.

I think that happiness is illusory, we cannot depend upon others too much for our happiness, and if we look inward we become self-indulgent and then block out other people. Places change. The things of this world are passing, we cannot depend upon them either.

People come and go, the things of this world fade away, too. Some people stay with you for a long time, but they are a minority.

Places deteriorate, or you have to leave them for other places.

Things that the world offers are definitely not a source of happiness, at least not long-term healthy kind. They tend to take you away from God and the spiritual.

The only true source of happiness comes from following God’s will as best as one can discern it and following that will to Heaven, our true and eternal home.

It is sometimes necessary then for Christians to be “disconnected” from the world, to be “in the world”, but not “of it”. We participate in it, but realize that it is only a way station, and not a place of permanence.

This is what Sacred Scripture and The Catholic Church teaches. And this is why the Catholic faith was very instrumental in helping me overcome my alcoholism. I, like many other alcoholics, sought out people, places and things to satisfy a need. When we drank, it seemed that these illusory and transitory things were permanent.

Matthew 6:33: “…seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.“

(Via USCCB.)</p

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A sense of balance

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When one area of my life is out of whack I have found it important to have something useful to serve as a kind of counterweight to it.

Having a life outside one’s job (for example) provides a sense of balance. When we work full-time we have a sense of displacement in our lives. Work occupies so much of our time that the things outside it like family and home are often shoved to the margins or ignored or otherwise given second-rate status. The need to provide income to support the family gets in the way of fully realizing what is truly important, and that is the family and home you are working to support.

Not rejecting the importance of providing for the family, there must be a realization that something must be done to restore a certain sense of balance to the whole equation. Time must be carved out of whatever “free time” you have off from work so as to devote to family and home.

Why is this important? Because when all this is out of whack, there lies the path back to drinking. An easy way to cope with the stress and anxiety is to drink. Bad idea.

Eliminate distracting non-essentials. Television really isn’t that important. It isn’t quality time spent with family. (Perhaps the occasional movie or ballgame being an exception. I also make room for the Star Trek sagas, but I actually haven’t seen them in over 2 1/2 years due to not having cable TV or satellite.The DVD’s are too expensive.) Anyway, a productive and meaningful life outside of work is healthy and sober. I am married and my wife is cute, funny and intelligent. Way more fun than TV. We spend lots of time outside putting gardens in or touring the countryside. We “go outside to get outside.”

I also blog. Writing is an avocation for me and it helps me improve my sense of self-worth. I hope to eventually do it full-time (blogging and fiction writing). At any rate, all these do provide an effective counterweight to work. Not always 100% effective, but more certain than moping and zoning out in front of the TV. Or drinking.

I am also Catholic. My faith is important to me and it has helped me weather many storms since becoming sober. It provides fulfillment and a healthy disconnect from the ways of the world so that I am not sucked into its madness and silliness. I am in the world, but not of it. Jesus came to heal the sick, and His Church is one of healing. The Eucharist and Confession are excellent ways to clean up the wreckage of the past. The sacramental and prayer life of the Church are also wonderful ways of maintaining that sense of balance. Nothing like raising your heart, mind and soul up to God to gain a real perspective.

“This, too, shall pass.” Only if you’re moving along.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Feast of All Soul's

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On November 2nd we celebrate the Feast of All Soul’s. It is the day that we as Catholics offer up the Mass and pray for the deceased who are suffering in Purgatory. In another blog of mine, I have posted about Purgatory (and will continue to do so a few more times this month). Here are 2 links to recent posts:

The Four Last Things: Purgatory

and

The Four Last Things: Prayers for the Dead and Dying

This is the Catechism of the Catholic Church’s teaching on Purgatory. It is authoritative, and is a required belief for Catholics:

Purgatory:

1030:All who die in God’s grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven.

1031: The Church gives the name Purgatory to this final purification of the elect, which is entirely different from the punishment of the damned. The Church formulated her doctrine of faith on Purgatory especially at the Councils of Florence and Trent. The tradition of the Church, by reference to certain texts of Scripture, speaks of a cleansing fire.

As for certain lesser faults, we must believe that, before the Final Judgment, there is a purifying fire. He who is truth says that whoever utters blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will be pardoned neither in this age nor in the age to come. From this sentence we understand that certain offenses can be forgiven in this age, but certain others in the age to come.

1032: This teaching is also based on the practice of prayer for the dead, already mentioned in Sacred Scripture: ‘Therefore [Judas Maccabeus] made atonement for the dead, that they might be delivered from their sin.’ From the beginning the Church has honored the memory of the dead and offered prayers in suffrage for them, above all the Eucharistic sacrifice, so that, thus purified, they may attain the beatific vision of God. The Church also commends almsgiving, indulgences, and works of penance undertaken on behalf of the dead:

Let us help and commemorate them. If Job’s sons were purified by their father’s sacrifice, why would we doubt that our offerings for the dead bring them some consolation? Let us not hesitate to help those who have died and to offer our prayers for them.“

(Via USCCB.)

Attend Mass on November 2nd. Remember the dead who have gone before you. Remember your deceased loved ones, family and friends, think of people long ago. Remember all those alcoholics and addicts who died a lonely death, still caught in the slavery of their addiction.

If you do not remember them, who will remember you after you have passed?

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Feast of All Saints

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November 1st is the Feast of All Saints, which serves as the Feast day for everyone in Heaven, whether officially canonized or not.

This is an important feast day as it reminds all of us of those who made it, who had run the race and fought the good fight and have arrived at their true home.

They are important to us, these saints. As they are now in God’s domain and have lived lives of virtue and submission to God’s will, they can intercede for us still here on Earth. We can pray to them so that they can offer our requests to God, much like how we can pray for each other’s intentions, but more powerful.

God hears all of our prayers, so in essence we can just go straight to Him, but a consistent theme in how God does things is that He appears to want to do things in cooperation with us. That’s love, I guess.

EWTN has a great website on all known Saints. I said before that these people lived lives of virtue and submission to God’s will. Not all of them throughout their lives. Many were terrible sinners before a conversion experience. A great hope for us alcoholics and aaddicts.

Go here: EWTN’s “Saints and other Holy People Home” and look up people who can help you!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Crossing the Goal

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Note: cross-posted from Trudging Paulcoholic’s Road .

I just watched the encore broadcast of “Crossing the Goal”, a new EWTN program on Christian living and spirituality for men (Although probably women can benefit from it, especially if they have a man in their lives that they love and care about).

I make mention of it here as a recovered alcoholic I found many aspects of my life not fully developed and ripe for improvement, not the least of which was how to live as a man. In my spiritual progression out from alcoholism, I discovered that to be fully recovered (or on the path to being that) I had to rediscover what it means to be a man, not by today’s sexually overcharged, confused or ambiguous standards, but how to live as a virtuous and sober Catholic Christian man. It was the only way I felt that I could keep the drink at bay. There have been various aids along the way, one of which is the book entitled Spiritual Workout of a Former Saint (Via Our Sunday Visitor.) by former NFL All-Pro and New Orleans Saints coach Danny Abramowicz. Coach Abramowicz is a co-host of the show, and one reason why I tuned into it.

Today’s episode was on “Courage” and I won’t do the program justice by going into what they discussed, but it set the tone for the series as a weekly guide on how to find your true calling in life and live up to your potential. It also seems to serve as an antidote to the idea that religion and spirituality is the territory of women (how many men are there at Mass as opposed to women, at least in Western countries? Same for parish organizations? Not complaining nor judging female involvement in the Church, but it does seem that men have ceded activity in the Church to women. For the Church to be healthy, men need to take a greater, cooperative role.)

The website of the show is Crossing the Goal , and it contains the show’s airdates. It is repeated several times during the week. I highly recommend that you watch. (I don’t have cable nor satellite TV, I was able to watch it on my Mac using QuickTime.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Feast of the Transfiguration

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Today marks the Feast of the Transfiguration of the Lord. I had written about it earlier, as a part of the meditation on the Fourth Luminous Mystery of the Rosary .

Today also marks the beginning of what you may call an “unofficial” Lent. Lent is a period of penance and mortification lasting 40 days, culminating in the Crucifixion of Jesus. The Transfiguration of Jesus occurred just prior to His departure for Jerusalem where it all took place.Why would today mark the beginning of an unofficial Lent? Because 40 days from now marks the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross. This is every year, so it must have been the Church’s intent to give us another focused opportunity for spiritual growth and development. Maybe you can make up for this year’s Lent if you didn’t meet whatever goals you set. Call it a “do-over”, or a “redo”.

I had planned on posting daily with meditations from the seasonal Lenten Mass readings. That isn’t going to happen. I missed them earlier this year due to the happy distractions of preparing for marriage and starting a new job. I may still post from those, but definitely not daily. I do not think that I can maintain a steady posting routine for 40 straight days, but like I’ve said before, daily posting is something I intend to do eventually. But it ain’t gonna happen now!

Have a happy Transfiguration feast. The rosary meditation for this event in Jesus’ life is on “spiritual courage”. Maybe that is why it marks another Lent.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 3

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The 3rd step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility may be especially troublesome to those not prone to humility, or who are too rooted in the ways of the world.

It says that a person should submit to their superior in all obedience for the love of God, in imitation of Jesus.

From St. Paul’s Letter to the Phillipians:

Phil 2:8;

He humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.

This is hard to tolerate, as “obedience” is rather contrary to modern Western thinking, and connotes weakness and slavery.

Benedict’s Rule is primarily for monks living in monasteries of the Benedictine Order. But as I said in the post that introduced this subject, many laity (people who are not priests, nuns or religious brothers) also follow the Rule of St. Benedict. So, how might we find value in this 3rd Step?

It is especially humbling, or humility-inducing, to subject yourself to another’s authority. So, to what authority would we willingly subject ourselves for the love of God?

Well, let’s think about that. What did God do for the love of us? He incarnated Himself in the form of a man, Jesus Christ, who while fully human, also retained the fullness of His divinity. And Jesus died for His love of us, to pay back to God the Father the sin of Adam and Eve which had ruptured our relationship with God (read Genesis 3).

After Jesus died, and rose again, what did He do? He established the Catholic Church, protected by the Holy Spirit from teaching error (i.e. the Pope and Bishops in union with him, all of whom are direct lineal successors to the Apostles and who carry out their mission of teaching the Gospel).

The Church is by no means perfect, composed as it is of humans, but it has survived 2,000 years of history created by it’s human members. It has never changed a teaching to be the opposite of what it was originally, and guided by the Spirit, it has developed teachings as we come to more fully understand the Bible and discern God.

This is what we can be obedient to. The Church can guide our conscience to follow and do God’s will. It has the consistency needed to build trust to follow it’s authority in matters of Gospel faith and morals.

Obedience is not slavish submission. It is a willful act of agreeing to follow legitimate authority and consent to its leadership. Authority that has merited trust and acquiescence.

If you have trouble with Step Three of the Ladder of Humility, Step Four tells you how to deal with it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)