Today the Church celebrates the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul, the Apostle. As a result of his conversion, in a rather direct and not-too-subtle manner, he went from being a persecutor of the followers of Christ to being their leading apologist (defender) and evangelist. Christianity was largely shaped by his efforts to spread it beyond Jewish communities and into Gentile (non-Jewish) lands.

What does this mean to us sober Catholics? Paul, previously known as Saul, lived a life fixed on a certain course. He was firm in his convictions, even though they were at odds with God. Despite the fact that he was essentially a faithful Jew practicing and defending his faith from what he perceived to be a threat to it, his life was going contrary to what God had desired for it. God could have raised up a Jewish convert to Christianity to spread the Word. Someone without Paul’s baggage of Christian-bashing. But no, God instead chose someone with a known reputation for doing wrong to the Church to instead be its chief protagonist.

In AA’s Step Three we are learn that we must turn our will and our lives over to the care of God (as we understand Him). Paul did that. (Incidentally, Scripture records that Paul’s conversion was during his vision of a white light. See the readings from the Acts of the Apostles for today: Acts 22:3-16 or Acts 9:1-22. The basic text of AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, also records that AA’s co-founder, Bill Wilson, describes a “white light experience” as a starting point for his conversion towards a sober life. Not implying a direct connection or comparison between the 2 events or men, but it’s an interesting point to ponder.) Paul lived a life of his own will, carrying out his own agenda, an ultimately was met with a Will greater than his own, and he surrendered. Again, not drawing any moral comparison between Paul’s pre-conversion life as a Jew and the life of a practicing alcoholic, but the similarity is in the direction of will, and its orientation to God. Paul’s will was his own, until God intervened. Then Paul surrendered and proceeded to carry out the Will of God. Paul’s life was no longer his own, but God’s. He gave it back and did God’s Will.

As sober Catholics, presumably by the grace of God through some conversion experience that led us towards the sober path, our lives are no longer our own. (No life really belongs to the person who holds it, all life belongs to God, the difference is whether you recognize and acknowledge this. This is the beginnings of humility.) As Paul was on the road to Damascus with a subpoena for the city’s Jewish Christians, we were on our own road. Paul’s intended destination had an original intent, as was the practicing alcoholic’s. Through a conversion experience, the road may essentially be the same, (but re-paved?) but the destination is different.

AA’s Step 12 reads “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” Like Paul, we had a spiritual awakening. Like Paul, our destination is different. And like Paul, we may be needed to carry this message to other alcoholics. And more so like Paul, we may be needed to carry out the Catholic Church’s message to people who suffer from alcoholism and addictions. Many newly sober people end up in AA or alternative sobriety programs and stop there. They abandon the Faith of their youth because the message of the program seems sufficient. Or they just pay it a certain amount of lip service. The program is their way of life, Church is just flavoring.

It shouldn’t be like that and that is what this blog is about, to show Catholics who are struggling with alcoholism, (or maybe defeated it years ago) what their Faith can offer to maintain and safeguard their sobriety. The Catholic Christian Faith can and should be the primary tool for one’s sobriety. AA or the alternatives can serve in their capacity to directly address the affliction. The Faith can serve as an all-encompassing way of life, in which alcohol and other addictions simply have no place, and are not even a regular consideration. No more “struggling with alcoholism” or “struggling with sobriety”, in which the need to attend numerous meetings a day/week/month are needed to cope. A way of life in which alcohol, or the avoidance of it, is not on the agenda. Maybe on occasion it is considered, in weakness or in times of stress and anxiety, but not in the normal course of coping. “I didn’t feel the need to have a drink today” is often stated at meetings as a preamble to a member’s sharing. Why would I even need to think I might have needed one? Or to declare it? Aside from the occasional brief passing thought, it should eventually be a non-issue.

That, to me, is what recovery is about. To recover a life that might have been had one not picked up that drink, (or had not been made an alcoholic. I won’t bother with discussing the origins of addiction, as it’s beyond the scope of this blog.) To give back to the program for its initial early help is grand, but to maintain that for years to come is in my opinion misplaced direction. The model for AA (and maybe other programs) can be newly sober (or sobering) people can join, stay for few years and leave, to be replaced by additional newcomers. To counter any arguments that this would leave AA bereft of experienced members and thus be dominated by people in early sobriety, I would point out that when Alcoholics Anonymous was first published in 1939, it was written by AA’s first members, none of whom was sober for more than 4 years. Not bad for a bunch of ex-drunks in “early sobriety”.

See you on the road to Damascus.

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

On January 7th the Church celebrates Epiphany, the day of the manifestation of the birth of Lord to the world, as symbolized by the Magi, the “Three Wise Men” from the East. They saw something described as a star which led them to where Jesus lay in a stable, one light leading them to the Light of the world.

How can this be applied to an individual’s journey of sobriety? In the depths of our alcoholism, all seems dark. There appears to be no hope. Some wish for death. Some reach that point described as “the jumping off place”, that time in every alcoholic’s life where something happens and we decide that maybe not drinking is better than drinking. That continuing to drink will kill us, but in not drinking we may only wish we were dead.

We find our way to some treatment, whether it’s detox and rehab and then AA (or an alternative sobriety program), or just AA. This may be sufficient. After all, we have been delivered from the gripping decay of alcoholism, we are now “happy, joyous and free”, and lead new lives.

But is that it, to be just sober? Just to not drink? For some that is enough. Given the drinking life of before, to just get through a day without drinking is a tremendous improvement. To look at oneself in the mirror and like what is seen, to look other people in the eye when that couldn’t be done before, is enough.

But I ask again, is that enough? Is that what we were made for? Some great thing happened and our drinking stopped. A gift was given to us, the gift of sobriety. While for many that may be enough (and considering the years or decades of drinking and lives hurt, sufficient) I think that this gift of sobriety should not stop there for some of us, regardless of one’s drunkalogue.

As Jesus manifested into the world as its Light of Salvation, we can manifest our new sober lives in ways that mirror His mission of healing and responding and teaching and giving. We can be a light to other alcoholics and addicts.

For some that calling is fulfilled more than adequately by attendance at AA meetings and service work. Whether service means opening up the meeting place and making coffee or just cleaning up, to serving as a representative in the hierarchy that AA has developed over the decades, depends on the individual. But there are other ways of being a light to others than just giving back to AA, especially when AA may have been merely a tool used by Someone to get you on the road to following the Light of all people.

We are all individuals, each of us making up the Mystical Body of Christ, and as St. Paul had written the Body is made up of many parts, each with its own task. (1 Cor 12: 1-31) By meditating on our sobriety, and what got us there, we can better achieve what may be God’ s Will in our lives. It is AA’s Step 3 (Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.) and Step 11 (Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out). Whether that is continued work with AA or another program, or branching out and using our newly sober lives elsewhere is the responsibility of the individual.

The Magi were not Jewish, and yet they sought out the prophesied King of the Jews. They were not bound by their (probable) Zoroastrian beliefs. I always wondered about that.

As Catholics, recovered from alcoholism and addiction, there is a wealth of sacramental and spiritual resources, free for the taking, for us to use in keeping sober and serene. To grow deeper spiritually in the Catholic Faith as a response to our sobriety is a treasure that cannot be kept to ourselves. It is a gift.

And we become gifts. We give ourselves to Christ, in service to Him and to others. And in doing so we help the Church grow.

Have a wonderful Epiphany.

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)