Be transformed!

The Second Reading from Today’s Mass of the Twenty-second Sunday in Ordinary Time has one of my favorite Scripture passages, and the first one I ever attempted to memorize. To me, it is at the heart of being a person in recovery:

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.”

In recovery, we are essentially becoming transformed. We live by the principles of our recovery program (be it Twelve Step or something else) and if we are Christian, we seek out what the Church has to offer people struggling with their addictions. And one key thing, and this is something I’ve stressed from time to time: you don’t conform to this age, you do not seek value in the so-called “morals” of the World. They do not offer anything of substance and certainly they do not offer anything good for your salvation.

In this “transformation” and our “renewal” we gain the capacity to discern what is the will of God, “what is good and pleasing and perfect.”

How to discern the Will of God? Reading Sacred Scripture is one way. In the Gospel Reading for today’s Mass, Jesus tells His disciples:

Matthew 16:24-27 “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange for his life? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father’s glory, and then he will repay all according to his conduct.”

Mass Readings via USCCB.

Again, “taking up the Cross” is essential to our recovery. We do not seek to run away from our troubles, all of the problems, big or small, that life throws at us daily. That is what we did while drinking. Everyone has troubles, it is a fact of human existence. We now have to tools to effectively deal with them, and perhaps even people around us who can assist us.

But it’s more than that. It’s building a new life in recovery, and becoming a better follower of Jesus Christ! Our lives today are better than when drinking. And even better than before we first picked up a drink due to our “renewal” and “transformation.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The “Page 552 Prayer to End Resentments”

On Page 552 of the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous (their basic text), there is a very helpful suggestion on how to rid yourself of resentments towards a person.

You pray for them every day for two weeks.

According to the writer of that Big Book chapter, they had held a deep resentment towards someone. They were seeking a way rid themselves of it when they chanced upon a magazine article. In this article a preacher wrote that if one holds a resentment towards someone or something (like a place, maybe), you pray for them every day for two weeks. You pray for their health, happiness and prosperity.

It doesn’t matter if you mean it or not, if it is “just words;” you do it anyway. You will find that by the end of the two weeks, you will come to mean it. This transformation will end the resentment towards that person.

A resentment, as we have learned, means to “re-feel” something; a negative sentiment is maintained, relived and nurtured over time. There’s a pretty good chance that if you are praying daily for their health, happiness and prosperity, this old, negative “sentiment” will erode and disappear.

I tried it and so far it is working. Being the person I am, I may have to do it again concerning this acutely annoying person. But I can attest to the fact that by the end of the two weeks, I genuinely desired “health, happiness and prosperity” for this person.

The writer didn’t give the words to the prayer, just describing the instructions. My prayer went as follows:

“Dear God in Heaven, if it be your holy will, look with favor upon the health, happiness and prosperity of …N…. . I ask You this in the Name of Jesus, the Lord.” (“N” being the name of the person you are praying for.)

That’s all. Simple and to the point. No complicated formula, nothing but a simple request. Although the target is the person you are praying for, in actuality you are praying for the removal of a resentment. Why not just pray for that? “Dear God in Heaven, if it be your holy will, please remove my resentment towards …N… . I ask You this in the Name of Jesus, the Lord.” You could do that. But I think the “Page 552 Prayer” is harder for us as we are doing something difficult. Someone hurt us and now we want good things for them? Sure, God can remove our resentment if we specifically ask for that; but recall the words at the end of the “Lord’s Prayer,”

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive the trespasses against us.”

In praying for the person that hurt us, we are forgiving them. And thus we are forgiven for anything we might have done to them. The emotional tie is broken, the resentment ceases.

Unless we stoke the fires of it again, so vigilance is needed. Let it rest. Easy, if the person is out of our lives and exists in the past. It is certainly harder if they are not, are still annoying and “things happen” to make the resentment flare up again. If that is the case, just pray harder when you are aware of situations arising that involve them; otherwise avoid them, if possible.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Love Your Enemies

In the Gospel Reading for Saturday of the First Week of Lent (I had meant to post this yesterday, but was having connectivity issues with the blog)

(Matthew 5:43-48),

Jesus said to his disciples:

“You have heard that it was said,

You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.

But I say to you, love your enemies,

and pray for those who persecute you,

that you may be children of your heavenly Father,

for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good,

and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.

For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have?

Do not the tax collectors do the same?

And if you greet your brothers and sisters only,

what is unusual about that?

Do not the pagans do the same?

So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

via USCCB.

This admonition by Jesus is a very difficult one for us alcoholics to muster the courage for. And yet I think it is essential for our long-term recovery. It is difficult indeed to “love your enemy,” but if we persist it hating “our enemies,” the festering resentments that this implies will only threaten our recovery.

It is hard. I have trouble mustering the courage to forgive those who have hurt me. I periodically go through forgiveness exercises and review my feelings towards people who have hurt me, and struggle to cut loose the emotional bonds to the hurt. It is one thing to pray and forgive them, another to no longer feel the pain they have caused. That, I think, is a sign that forgiveness has settled in, and that the power your “enemies” has over you is over. Your forgive, and you subsequently no longer replay the tapes in your head of the hurt. The bonds are cut and it is behind you. Whether you reconcile is another matter.

And so you go on. Although forgiveness is hard, it is neccessary. As long as you keep trying, chipping away at the bonds of resentment, hate and self-pity, you will make continued progess along the road of happy destiny.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Shall not die!

The First Reading for today’s Mass is from Ezekiel 18:21-22: “But if the wicked man turns away from all the sins he has committed, if he keeps all my statutes and does what is just and right, he shall surely live. He shall not die! None of the crimes he has committed shall be remembered against him; he shall live because of the justice he has shown.”

via USCCB.

Today is also Friday, meaning the weekend is upon us. Almost all Catholic parishes have Confession on Saturdays. Avail yourself of the Sacrament. Spend some time doing a good Examination of Conscience (you can use the Beatitudes, Ten Commandments, and Matthew 25:31-45 if you don’t possess a good guide.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

God, you will not spurn

The Responsorial Psalm from today’s Mass for Wednesday of the First Week of Lent is Psalm 51, a favorite of mine. It is also a favorite of the Church’s, as it appears often on Fridays in the Divine Office, and today is the second time since Lent began that it is used as the Responsorial. I also blogged about it last week: A heart contrite and humbled.

As it is a good prayer to use when you are truly contrite and wish to be reconciled to the Lord, it is not altogether strange that the Church emphasizes it at appropriate times. Perhaps the Church is reminding us of the need for repentannce, as well as frequent use of the Sacrament of Confession.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Alcoholism Recovery and the Pro-Life Movement

Today, January 22nd, is the “anniversary” of the United States Supreme Court’s decision legalizing abortion. You might be wondering why I would bother blogging about it.

The fact that I am pro-life should be noticeable if you explore the links in the sidebar. There’s a group of “ProLife Links” in the left sidebar, and “Post-Abortion Healing” links in the right. But apart from links in the sidebar and some other acts, what exactly does being Pro-Life have to do with recovery?

If you have been clean and sober for a while, you were once at the “jumping off place,” that point in your drinking where you had a choice. It was either to continue drinking and die, or to stop drinking and live. Although with the latter you may wish for death in the pain and suffering of early sobriety, you managed to persevere and live.

OK, so you already had made the decision to “Choose Life.” Aside from the parallel to a prolife slogan, so what? You chose to live, you chose life. Why would you not wish that for other people? If you chose life for yourself, why not extend that choice in other areas of your philosophy? Choose to have the baby or support those who are having a difficult time with it. Support adoption, or, if you can, adopt a child yourself. And if you cannot, then perhaps support the reform of adoption laws to make it easier for people to adopt. Be against the death penalty (“Thou shalt not kill or commit murder.”). Work for peace. Whatever, but pick the “life” and “living” side of the decision.

Is that easy? Of course not. Perhaps sometimes, but mostly not. Choosing life often takes courage and responsibility and the ability to make tough decisions and sacrifices. But just like you reached out for help at that “jumping off place,” help is available somewhere.

This could very well be an extension of the 12th Step exhortation to “practice these principles in all our affairs.” Granted, this probably wasn’t what the founders of AA thought of when writing the Steps as many “life choices” are “outside issues” and thus not a part of the recovery discussion. But nevertheless, in our own lives and the living out of them, we can consider the implications and apply them where we personally wish to.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Taking up the Cross

Matthew 16:24 “Then Jesus said to his disciples: “If anyone is willing to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”

(Via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.)

As alcoholics and addicts we often carry the burdens of temptations. Many people do, we are not unique in that regard. However if we succumb to them, it can be dangerous. Even if it is a serious temptation like impurity and we aren’t sex or porn addicts, it may open the door to further destructive behavior given the potentially addictive nature of our thinking.

It is painful to carry the burden of temptations. We want to surrender to them “just a little,” to ease the burden. But we cannot as we know the effects. Given that we are active in our recovery, we are probably far more sensitive to inappropriate behavior and thinking than most people. Any fall can be an excuse for self-loathing.

It is fine if we constantly “pick ourselves up” after a fall into whatever sin is tempting us. This is what the saints did.

But I think that if we view the continual troubles and trials as a cross that we must bear, we can show Jesus, “See, Lord? I am your servant and follower. I bear the Cross of this temptation and I will not drop it.”

Equate that trial or temptation with the Cross. It is a tangible feeling to connect to Jesus, something that you can think about whenever you hear someone talk about “hang it on the Cross,” or “unite your sufferings to Jesus.”

It may make it more bearable.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Blessed are they who walk in the law of the Lord

Psalm 119:1-8 Blessed are the immaculate in the way, who walk in the law of the Lord.
Blessed are those who examine his testimonies. They seek him with their whole heart.
For those who work iniquity have not walked in his ways.
You have ordered your commandments to be kept most diligently.
I wish that my ways may be directed so as to keep your justifications.
Then I will not be confounded, when I will look into all your commandments.
I will confess to you with honesty of heart. In this way, I have learned the judgments of your justice.
I will keep your justifications. Do not utterly abandon me.

This is a humble, honest prayer by a penitent beseeching the Lord’s guidance and will. They know that those who seek to follow the Lord’s Commandments will have a difficult time, as with anything that must be “kept most diligently.” But in doing so, the pray-er finds great reward in holiness and blessedness.

This prayer is a good one to use by those of us in recovery, regardless of how long we have trudged the road. Discerning God’s will is not easy, and the psalmist asks the Lord for assistance in doing so (“I wish that my ways …”).

The penitent knows that following the Lord’s path is a way that will give great help in fighting impurity and sin (“For those who work iniquity…”) If you refrain from sinning, you are walking in the Lord’s ways. So, trying to follow the Commandments helps in the struggle against sin.

The psalmist knows that after sinning, greater humility will result from confessing. At least, that is how I interpret the verse, “I will confess to you with honesty of heart. In this way, I have learned the judgments of your justice.” In your honest and humble examination of conscience, you learn what sins you have committed. Upon taking these sinful acts and comparing them to the Commandments, you may develop a greater understanding of them and gain greater ability to amend your life. Why do I persist in doing thus and so? You sin, you make an honest confession, the penance humbles you and in humility you gain a greater awareness of God’s will in your life and how to cooperate with it (“I will not be confounded…”).

Finally, a promise to keep to the Lord’s path is combined with a plea for God to not abandon the penitent, for it is known that only with God’s grace can we keep to a pure and holy life. We cannot do it by our own efforts.

NOTE: This is Psalm 119 in most Catholic Bibles based on the Latin Vulgate, it is Psalm 118 in Bibles based on the Greek Septuagint.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Feast of St. Augustine of Hippo

Today is the Feast of St. Augustine of Hippo. To quote from this excellent article on him:St. Augustine of Hippo: “St. Augustine of Hippo is the patron of brewers because of his conversion from a former life of loose living, which included parties, entertainment, and worldly ambitions. His complete turnaround and conversion has been an inspiration to many who struggle with a particular vice or habit they long to break. ”

(Via Catholic Online.)

Although he is the “patron saint of brewers,” I thought I’d post this today as St. Augustine is a remarkable story of conversion from a life of drunkenness and debauchery, things many can relate to 😉

He is an inspiration, and at the ready to intercede for anyone struggling with addictions of any kind, especially sex and porn, as well as though particularly struggling with the allurements of the World and its false promises.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Sacred Heart and Alcoholism

Barefoot’s World had a piece on how Sr. Ignatia created the “Sacred Heart Badge” for those admitted to St. Thomas Hospital as an incentive to maintain their recovery and as a “merit badge” to show their progress. Number 9 wrote about it earlier, also quoting the same source: Sacred Heart Badge (the 1st white chip).

The Sacred Heart is an old Catholic devotion dating back centuries. It focuses on the human nature of Jesus (the heart long being considered the center or source of human emotion). As Jesus had become human to redeem us for our sins, devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus concerns the Divine Love of God for us, and our response to that is our reparation for our sins. We sin, we repent and we make reparation.

In light of this, that the Sacred Heart was chosen as a symbol of recovery is not surprising. In our recovery, we are making reparation for the sins we had committed in our addictions. And in our recovery, we accept and respond to the love God has for us. We know we messed up and abused the gifts that God gave to us. But despite all of that, He still loves us as His prodigal children and always takes us back no matter how bad our sins. As long as we repent and try to amend our lives we are on the right path.

No sin is greater than God’s ability to forgive. Our repentance has to be sincere, and we have to make a best effort at amending. But no matter how evil, we can be forgiven. No matter how often we fall, we get right back up.

I wrote this as Friday is the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

(Via About Catholicism.)

Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

(Via CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)