Drinking is Never an Option

I think it was nearly 5 years ago when I stumbled upon the notion of just ruling out the idea that drinking is an option. In the “One Day at a Time” concept of 12 Step Movements, you will just take the notion of not drinking, but just for today. “Today, I will not drink.” This is because the idea of never taking a drink for the rest of one’s life may be too much to handle. Therefore, take it in bite-size, one-day-at-a-time baby steps. Tomorrow is another story, another day.

While this is fine, and very successful, I found it questionable for my own personal abilities. You see, the “ODAAT” (“One Day at a Time” acronym) leaves open the possibility of drinking tomorrow. Advocates of ODAAT would respond by saying that you would merely resolve to do ODAAT again when tomorrow arrives. But for me, there would still be that narrow window of opportunity that would allow a drink to sneak in.

Therefore, I decided that drinking would never be an option. No matter how good, or how bad, drinking just wouldn’t be on the table as a response. In the past, I would drink when things got bad, but also when things were great. Drinking was a lubricant, either quelling the pain or heightening the joy. Drinking was always a response to something. It was an option.

What had happened to get me to the idea that drinking would never be an option, no matter what was a day in April 2004 in which I was laid off from a job due to insufficient work. As I was the last hired, I was the first to go. I was depressed, I had thought that I had finally “made it” in sobriety, that I had finally landed a job that would last and that I was putting in the final building blocks of my sobriety. The initial struggling period would be over and I would just “practice these principles in all my affairs” and just live. But being laid off shattered that notion.

I drove home, and it seemed as every liquor store in my part of the state was between work and home. I resisted the urge to go into any of them, thinking all the way “ODAAT”, and went instead straight to my old AA Home Group. I pondered stuff and I think that the topic was something about ODAAT. I decided that ODAAT wasn’t good enough for me, or rather, not suitable enough. There was always that danger that the desire to drink would wedge its way in and that I wouldn’t be strong enough the next day to do ODAAT.

So I decided to just remove drinking from the list of options. Not just for today, but forever. ODAAT preserves the notion that drinking is an option for tomorrow, and when tomorrow arrives, just push drinking off one more day through ODAAT.

My removing drinking as an option does not mean that I will resolve to never drink for the rest of my life, the scary notion that ODAAT evolved to ease. It just isn’t on the list of response mechanisms I have at my disposal. It isn’t something that I “do”, or have to ponder with never doing. I am not facing the prospect of viewing the rest of my life without drinking, it is more like the idea that murder or rape is simply not an option for how decent civilized people deal with others. Drinking isn’t there for me to choose. I do not bemoan the idea that I won’t murder or rape anyone in the future before I die, doing either of those things isn’t a part or my character. Drinking no longer is a part of my character.

I did not arrive at this idea easily. I spent the entire month of April 2004 beating this into my brain. I was helped by many AA meeting topics that kind of reinforced this. I guess the Holy Spirit was working on me.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Perseverance

Perseverance will see you through. Too many people give up and cave in to despair or pressure and never see it through their pain and suffering.

Problems never seem to be solvable while you’re going through them, but when they’re done you’re stronger as a result.

There are wishes during the experiences for the gentle relief of alcohol, just to take the edge off. But you never seriously entertain the thought. Just a wistful longing and then dismissed. Sometime ago during weaker days you might have succumbed.

One reason why you hear it said that enduring suffering strengthens you. Like an athlete in training, you get stronger in dealing with life.

Too many people in today’s societies try to avoid suffering and trials and seek to avoid them. That is why most of us are alcoholics, we lacked the ability to effectively cope with them.

“This, too, shall pass.” And pass it does.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

This too shall pass

We all go through trials. Suffering is a natural part of life. Every one of us endures this or that situation that seems to be neverending. And most times it seems that our suffering is worse that anyone else’s. Even news reports of natural disasters fail to change our perspective.

Despite our experience in the past that things do get better and the bad times fade, we forget this. Due to our alcoholic tendencies, we may even wallow in our despair, thus prolonging or making worse whatever we’re going through. Sometimes we are only happy when we’re miserable. Probably only an alcoholic or addict will understand this.

Last summer (2008) I was going through a bit of a rough patch. I had started a new job a few months prior and although I am pretty good at what I do I must admit to having had a steeper “learning curve” and have taken a little longer than I should have to grasp some of the details.

But this had made me vulnerable to “attitude problems” from other coworkers, mostly those much younger than I. I was being taken advantage of (or so it seemed) in those areas that I excel at, and in those areas I needed improvement in I was being gossiped about to other staffers, including management. This had led to some strain on my part and anxiety when I reported to work. Many days I hated going to work, not because of my tasks which I enjoy, but because of whom I worked with.

Insecurity ruled the day. I had even started another job search to hedge my bets about my ability to keep this one.

I titled this post “This too shall pass” as that is an AA slogan intended to remind us that no matter what we are going through, it will end. Whether our suffering is caused by others, or of our own mistakes doesn’t matter. It will end. What we must do is to learn from it. Or else it was just wasted time and pointless.

Someone once said that experience is the learning we gleaned from our mistakes. Experience makes the bad times and suffering we go through worthwhile, once they’re over.

As I write this now (this was originally a post on another blog that I am discontinuing, so it’s an edited update) things did get better. I persevered. I transferred to another office in the area and I fit it very well with my co-workers and management. I am appreciated and made to feel welcome.

Just remember this. It will pass. Just persevere, have faith that God will get you through it and perhaps is trying to teach you something. Pray for the wisdom to understand.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Came to believe

A few Sundays ago there was this Gospel reading at Mass:

John 2:13-22: “Since the Passover of the Jews was near,
Jesus went up to Jerusalem.
He found in the temple area those who sold oxen, sheep, and doves,
as well as the money-changers seated there.
He made a whip out of cords
and drove them all out of the temple area, with the sheep and oxen,
and spilled the coins of the money-changers
and overturned their tables,
and to those who sold doves he said,
‘Take these out of here,
and stop making my Father’s house a marketplace.’
His disciples recalled the words of Scripture,
Zeal for your house will consume me.
At this the Jews answered and said to him,
‘What sign can you show us for doing this?’
Jesus answered and said to them,
‘Destroy this temple and in three days I will raise it up.’
The Jews said,
‘This temple has been under construction for forty-six years,
and you will raise it up in three days?’
But he was speaking about the temple of his Body.
Therefore, when he was raised from the dead,
his disciples remembered that he had said this,
and they came to believe the Scripture

(Via USCCB.)

The phrase “came to believe” jumped out at me and made me think of the Second Step of recovery movements:

“Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

Both the disciple’s and an alcoholic’s “coming to believe” happen after some seismic event in their lives. The disciples had to witness Jesus’ resurrection to come to believe in His divinity and the Scriptural basis for His being, and the alcoholic had to fundamentally declare his or her own weakness about their addiction before “coming to believe” that God can effect change in their lives. For the disciples faith was the result, for an addict it is sanity.

Some may have a hard time reconciling faith with sanity, for faith is belief in the unknowable, and only crazy people believe in things unseen by any method. Maybe for us alcoholics in recovery it is not such a difficult thing. Our experience in recovery gives us an insight into the situations that are otherwise unexplainable, except by faith. Our ability to cope with this (or relish this) implies a sanity.

Where are you in “coming to believe?”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Transcending hurts

There is a nice article in today’s Spirit Daily entitled: “RISE FROM WHAT MIRES YOU AND TRANSCEND HURTS OF THIS WORLD THROUGH HIS POWER”

(Via Spirit Daily.)

A good read on spiritual warfare and healing.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Crossing the Goal

Note: cross-posted from Trudging Paulcoholic’s Road .

I just watched the encore broadcast of “Crossing the Goal”, a new EWTN program on Christian living and spirituality for men (Although probably women can benefit from it, especially if they have a man in their lives that they love and care about).

I make mention of it here as a recovered alcoholic I found many aspects of my life not fully developed and ripe for improvement, not the least of which was how to live as a man. In my spiritual progression out from alcoholism, I discovered that to be fully recovered (or on the path to being that) I had to rediscover what it means to be a man, not by today’s sexually overcharged, confused or ambiguous standards, but how to live as a virtuous and sober Catholic Christian man. It was the only way I felt that I could keep the drink at bay. There have been various aids along the way, one of which is the book entitled Spiritual Workout of a Former Saint (Via Our Sunday Visitor.) by former NFL All-Pro and New Orleans Saints coach Danny Abramowicz. Coach Abramowicz is a co-host of the show, and one reason why I tuned into it.

Today’s episode was on “Courage” and I won’t do the program justice by going into what they discussed, but it set the tone for the series as a weekly guide on how to find your true calling in life and live up to your potential. It also seems to serve as an antidote to the idea that religion and spirituality is the territory of women (how many men are there at Mass as opposed to women, at least in Western countries? Same for parish organizations? Not complaining nor judging female involvement in the Church, but it does seem that men have ceded activity in the Church to women. For the Church to be healthy, men need to take a greater, cooperative role.)

The website of the show is Crossing the Goal , and it contains the show’s airdates. It is repeated several times during the week. I highly recommend that you watch. (I don’t have cable nor satellite TV, I was able to watch it on my Mac using QuickTime.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)