Category Archives: Death

Solemnity of All Soul's

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On November 2nd we celebrate the Solemnity of All Soul’s. It is the day that we as Catholics offer up the Mass and pray for the deceased who are suffering in Purgatory. Here are links to two posts in a blog of mine that I had discontinued. (I thought I had transferred them to this blog, but I cannot find them in my editor) :

Purgatory

and

Prayers for the Dead and Dying

This is the Catechism of the Catholic Church’s teaching on Purgatory. It is authoritative, and is a required belief for Catholics:

Purgatory:

1030:All who die in God’s grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven.

1031: The Church gives the name Purgatory to this final purification of the elect, which is entirely different from the punishment of the damned. The Church formulated her doctrine of faith on Purgatory especially at the Councils of Florence and Trent. The tradition of the Church, by reference to certain texts of Scripture, speaks of a cleansing fire.

As for certain lesser faults, we must believe that, before the Final Judgment, there is a purifying fire. He who is truth says that whoever utters blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will be pardoned neither in this age nor in the age to come. From this sentence we understand that certain offenses can be forgiven in this age, but certain others in the age to come.

1032: This teaching is also based on the practice of prayer for the dead, already mentioned in Sacred Scripture: ‘Therefore [Judas Maccabeus] made atonement for the dead, that they might be delivered from their sin.’ From the beginning the Church has honored the memory of the dead and offered prayers in suffrage for them, above all the Eucharistic sacrifice, so that, thus purified, they may attain the beatific vision of God. The Church also commends almsgiving, indulgences, and works of penance undertaken on behalf of the dead:

Let us help and commemorate them. If Job’s sons were purified by their father’s sacrifice, why would we doubt that our offerings for the dead bring them some consolation? Let us not hesitate to help those who have died and to offer our prayers for them.“

(Via USCCB.)

Attend Mass on November 2nd. Remember the dead who have gone before you. Remember your deceased loved ones, family and friends, think of people long ago. Remember all those alcoholics and addicts who died a lonely death, still caught in the slavery of their addiction.

If you do not remember them, who will remember you after you have passed?

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Death Quotes – Quotations and Famous Quotes on Death

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From across the philosophical spectrum (from a non-Catholic site).

Death Quotes – Quotations and Famous Quotes on Death

(Via StumbleUpon.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Triumph and Sorrow

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Earlier this week (September 14th and 15th) the Church celebrated two feasts which I had written about before in these two posts: Triumph of the Cross and Our Lady of Sorrows.

I think it is intentional that these 2 feasts are linked by being placed a day apart.

The triumph of Jesus on the Cross was His death. Death is usually a defeat but His liberated us from the prison that was ours. He opened the gates of Heaven for us. Heaven is now attainable, whereas previously it was prohibited to us by the Original Sin of Adam. ( Genesis 3) The Sorrows of Mary were many but in tying these dates together, the Church is perhaps emphasizing Jesus’ suffering, death and burial and how they must have ripped apart the heart of Mary as she witnessed them.

Both Jesus and Mary are marked in their obedience to God the Father’s will. Jesus accepted that His role and mission was to suffer and die for our sins. Mary accepted hers as being the bearer of the Messiah, the Savior of Humanity. Her willing submission to God’s will linked her life to that of Jesus.

So it can be said of us. If we accept that our duty as Christians is to submit ourselves to God’s will in our lives, looking to the Church for guidance, then we open ourselves to the sufferings and sorrows about us. In accepting God’s will for us, it is necessary for us to “die to ourselves” so that the inspirations and beckoning of the Holy Spirit can be felt. We decrease, so it can increase. In so dying, we are reborn into the person God intended for us to be and therefore are able to fulfill His plan for our lives. The sufferings and sorrows we feel are our compassion for others.

As addicts and alcoholics, we are especially attuned to this. Our old selves died when we gave up drinking and using. Our truer selves were resurrected from the Cross we nailed our addictions to. And in our new lives we see others about us differently. We see others and broken and wounded souls, as we are also. Our hearts are pierced by the swords of their pain and suffering. ( Luke 2: 34-35)

As Jesus on the Cross gave Mary to each of us to be our Mother, we, in our recovery, are given to others to nurture and sustain them. (John 19: 25-27)

(All Scriptural links courtesy USCCB.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

September 5, 1995. My father died.

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On this date in 1995 my father died.

He and I weren’t very close, (“fathers and sons …”) generational and attitudinal differences separated us.

As a result, I didn’t really grieve over his death. I mean, I was saddened and did feel the loss, but I wasn’t ripped apart by his death like I was over my Mom’s 10 years later.

This relative lack of impact was aided by the fact that I was 2,500 miles away and hadn’t seen him in 4 years.

I went home for his funeral, and reconnected with the family, but when I returned home to California I continued life as usual. I had started drinking heavily to cope with life’s problems a year before (failed romance) and my drinking picked up a little more upon my return, so that may have softened the need to grieve in a sober manner.

The point of this is that although I wasn’t too close to Dad during his life, I am much closer to him now. That would seem strange to non-Catholics, but for believers with a knowledge of the Communion of Saints, that shouldn’t seem strange at all.

Death doesn’t end a life. Death is just a passage from this life to another. This life is temporary, everything “is”, and then passes away to dust and a dim memory. The life after is eternal. Whether that life is spent in Heaven or Hell depends on what you do in your Earthly life.

There is a connection between those of us still here on Earth and those deceased. It is called, as I referenced in a previous paragraph, the Communion of Saints . (Via New Advent.) This is comprised of the “Church Militant” (those still on Earth), the “Church Suffering” (those in Purgatory) and the “Church Triumphant” (those in Heaven). Only the souls that have damned themselves to Hell are excluded.

“Communion” implies a community, wherein the members still can relate to one another. This relation is conducted by the means of prayer. We pray to the Church Triumphant and the Church Suffering for their intercessory power with God. We can somehow sense their presence (although admittedly that “sensing” may be wishful thinking).

They are there to help, comfort and console us. We are separated from them by the chasm of death, but that chasm can be crossed eventually by our own deathly passage.

I said earlier in this post that I am much closer to Dad now than while he was alive. I have grown to be much like him, at least with regard to the practice of my Catholic Faith. (I still haven’t taken up woodworking as a hobby, nor returned to fishing as a pastime, but may in time. I do enjoy yardwork, like he did, and love baseball, too.) I understand him better as the years progress and as I grow older.

To anyone who has lost a parent (or anyone beloved) to death, fear not. They are not gone from you permanently. Consider them as just having moved far away, and the distance you need to travel to meet with them again will take the rest of your life.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Now and at the hour of our death, amen

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Today, August 22nd, is the Feast of the Queenship of Mary. It is the day Catholics celebrate her coronation as Queen of Heaven.

The Hail Mary has the line:

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. .

We are all sinners, and Christianity teaches that this is so. Yet we do have a powerful intercessor with God for us.

That intercessor is Mary.

She can intercede for us at anytime, like any good mother will for her children. All we have to do is ask and the Hail Mary is that prayer.

The time of our death is never known to us, it can occur anytime. Only God knows when it will happen. Cultivating a good relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary is an excellent method of insuring your salvation. The “hour of our death” is a particularly important time of battle, as that is Satan’s final chance to claim our soul for eternity. The Adversary will pull out all the stops in that final hour, if it feels there is an opportunity to win.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with you,

Blessed are you amongst women,

and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Person of Destiny

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There is an article from Spirit Daily that I encourage you to read.

An excerpt explains it better:

“You are a person of destiny. You are destined for Heaven. You are destined to be the best you can be.

You are also unique. Period. Your greatness is not worldly greatness.

And so your soul bears God’s secret imprint.”

Read the rest via Spirit Daily.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Scapular of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel

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The Scapular of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel is a devotional article worn by Catholics. Back in the day Catholic schoolchildren were enrolled in the Confraternity (i.e. fraternal organization) of the scapular when they attended Catholic schools or otherwise done so in their parish.

Further detailed information on the scapular can be found at this site of the Brown Scapular of Our Lady of Mount Carmel .

Why am I writing about this? One of the promises of Our Lady is that they who die wearing the scapular will not suffer eternal damnation. This sort of thing can get certain types in an uproar, as it can seem to some to be a license to sin (because I won’t go to Hell anyway, so why not?) It may also be likened to the Protestant and Evangelical heresy of “once saved, always saved.”

But I think not. If you wear your scapular, it is rather conspicuous. Not like the crosses that people wear, seemingly mostly for decoration rather than conviction. To wear the scapular is more a public witness. It is cloth. It peeks out from the shirt your wearing. Not a lot of people wear it. It isn’t fashionable. It hangs down the front as well as the back. It is sometimes annoying and inconvenient. It is also distinctly Catholic, assuming you’ve ever seen one being worn.

As a result of all these points, to wear the scapular is a conscious effort, as distinct from wearing the cross (kind of sad, actually. More of a commentary on the devaluation of the cross’ meaning.) Anyone wears the cross, so few wear the scapular.

So, instead of being a guarantee of instant Heaven after death, it is a guarantee that you will not go to Hell. So, what’s the difference? Purgatory is the difference. It is a visible reminder to the wearer that they are still accountable for their sins, and will still suffer for them.

Not a bad idea, a constant reminder of your mortality and the resulting effects of the decisions of one’s life.

“Remember that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return,” the priest says this or something close when he spreads ashes on your forehead on Ash Wednesday.

So, you might not go to Hell, but you might spend much time in Purgatory. Makes you want to start your Purgatory now, rather than later. At least now you can merit from accepting the suffering that enters your life, and possibly start amending it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Departures from our lives

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Today, June 26th, is the fifth anniversary of my mother-in-law’s death. I never knew her as I met my wife in 2007, but through my wife she has had some impact on me. I would have loved her greatly.

A number of posts on this blog indicates that I think of death quite a lot. (I had a blog devoted to it, but I discontinued it and transferred most of its posts to this one. This is an edit of one of those.) It has impacted me in a number of ways in my adulthood, and has formed me into the person that I am now. Almost as much as sobriety has.

We have people in our lives. And then they are gone. Whether they are taken from us by death, or merely drift away by relocation or choices, people are with us until they are no more.

I think that each departure is a distinctly traumatic event in our lives. Each departure leaves a hole or a tear in our lives that may never be healed. Sometimes we are not aware that they should be healed, as in when somebody moves away or just drifts off. But these people were a part of the fabric of our lives, and were woven into the tapestry of our life. They go away, that tapestry is torn.

I think we all too casually feel we should just “move on” when someone goes away. I learned of this when my Mom died in 2005 and I went through grief counseling. My old AA sponsor suggested it, and I never knew such a thing existed for “ordinary” deaths. I thought it was just for extraordinary deaths like school shootings, natural disasters, terror attacks and major accidents like train wrecks and airliner crashes. But no, one can also attend when it’s only when your Mom that has died.

Perhaps we take for granted the people in our lives. Maybe we don’t feel that they will “go away” or somehow it won’t hurt. We rarely think of such traumatic change. Too painful.

I yearn for Heaven. Not in any suicidal way, but just so I can be reunited with the people I’ve loved and lost, and people I’ve never met but would be important to me anyway. And also because there would never be any parting. No one dies and no one moves away. We will be together forever.

There is in the 12 Step movements “Step 9”, which is the step where you make amends to people in your life that you’ve hurt because of your addiction. It’s an attempt to reconcile and to clear the air. Perhaps there won’t be a reconciliation, but at least the attempt was made. There is the possibility that people previously gone will be back.

Don’t underestimate the joy that may bring. There is too much loss in today’s world.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Mother's Day

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My Mom died just over 3 1/2 years ago (November 7, 2005). It’s been one heckuva ride since, from desires for death (suicidal or just praying for God to take me) through economic and financial instability to relocating to a new area for a cute lady and a new job, to marrying that cute lady and finding a better job.

Through it all has been my Faith. It has been the one constant and has kept me together.

I’d like to think that my Mom is among those watching over me. (Dad and a sister, too.)

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Our Happy Destiny and the Road it's Trudged upon

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We are occasionally reminded that life is a journey. In sober circles it is referred to as “Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny”. We regard our recovery as a continual process leading all the way to our death, with the hope that we will reach whatever afterlife we believe in. In our case, it is Heaven, an eternal union with God and His Truth and Beauty. Oh, and our loved ones are there, too!

From a homily on the Gospels by Saint Gregory the Great, pope, and this is excerpted from the Second Reading in the Office of Readings for the Fourth Sunday of Easter: “Beloved brothers, let us set out for these pastures where we shall keep joyful festival with so many of our fellow citizens. May the thought of their happiness urge us on! Let us stir up our hearts, rekindle our faith, and long eagerly for what heaven has in store for us. To love thus is to be already on our way. No matter what obstacles we encounter, we must not allow them to turn us aside from the joy of that heavenly feast. Anyone who is determined to reach his destination is not deterred by the roughness of the road that leads to it. Nor must we allow the charm of success to seduce us, or we shall be like a foolish traveller who is so distracted by the pleasant meadows through which he is passing that he forgets where he is going.”

(Via Universalis.)

Pope Gregory the Great exhorts us to not be scared off by the difficulty of our journey. We must persevere, for the rewards are most definitely worth it. Too often we struggle and stumble along the way, misdirected by the weakness of our flesh with the promise of fleeting pleasure and joy. We discover too late the emptiness of that pleasure. We repent and return to the Lord. We resume our journey, hopefully learning from our fall.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)