Prayer to Redeem Lost Time

Those of us who are alcoholics and addicts have a lot of wasted time in our past. Gone missing are all the years when we were trapped in our addictions. We can learn from them and vow to never repeat those mistakes, assuming we’ve learned from them, but there is still the nagging sense of loss over those years.

No matter how we have turned our recovery into gain and made the most of our second chance (or third, or fourth), we wonder “What might have been?”

Shadowlands has a nice prayer in her sidebar. I’ve blogged about it before, but I searched for the link and it is no longer found at the original site (“Spirit Daily”, if you must know.) I’m glad I’ve found it now on her blog. It is a “Prayer to Redeem Lost Time”, and saying it is comforting:

“Prayer to Redeem Lost Time”O MY GOD! Source of all mercy! I acknowledge Thy sovereign power. While recalling the wasted years that are past, I believe that Thou, Lord, can in an instant turn this loss to gain. Miserable as I am, yet I firmly believe that Thou can do all things. Please restore to me the time lost, giving me Thy grace, both now and the future, that I may appear before Thee in “wedding garments.” Amen.

(Via Living in the Shadowlands.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Living with No Regrets

One of the coping mechanisms that we alcoholics quite often use when dealing with the past is living with “no regrets” about it. Page 83 of AA’s “Big Book” has as one of the “Twelve Promises”: “We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.”

We do not let the past and our emotional connections to it govern us, but we do not ignore it or disconnect from it either. In our “not regretting the past” we also remember it so as to learn from it and not repeat its mistakes.

Mary Beth Bonacci, a wonderful Catholic writer and speaker, has written an article that speaks very much to this.

She makes two points among many that I want to bring to your attention. The first one in which she says that wallowing around in the past is “self-defeating and, in the spiritual realm, I believe it’s a real temptation of the devil that holds us down and keeps us from accomplishing great things.”

This is something I have been mulling over recently, especially when reading other bloggers or Facebook friends talk about negative situations going on in their lives and how it is a struggle to overcome them. The temptation is there to just give up. In my own struggles I have arrived at the belief that Satan is keenly intent on preventing us from realizing our full potential, and that by encouraging doubt and obsession with the past he is hindering us from growing into the people we can be.

The second point is:

But the “no regrets” philosophy often goes one step further. It says “If I had it to do over again, I’d do exactly the same thing, because that’s what made me the person I am today.”

Now this point struck home because in AA meetings I have heard it said by a member that if they had to choose a disease, alcoholism would have been it, due to the changes that recovery has wrought in their life. I have also felt this way, that my addiction and recovery have made me the person I am today, and in doing so they have enabled me to see the flaws in my life and correct them. There is still work to be done, but the willingness is there. I was dealt certain cards, I turned them back in and I played a new hand after a fair amount of re-shuffling. I think I would have preferred to have been dealt the hand that lacked the cards for “I want what I want, and I want it NOW!” and the lack of drive and determination to struggle and sacrifice to obtain what I wanted.

Mary Beth however points out that there was a whole lot of pain and suffering involved in many people’s pasts and that those who would chose to do it all over again the same way are being selfish and defiant of God’s will.

The questions that arose in my mind as I read her thesis are:

Do we then mean that we are willing to subject others to the pain we caused them in order for us to be the people we are today?

Are others willing to be subjected to it?

What right do we have to sacrifice their serenity and sanity for us to become the fabulously wonderful people we are today?

My conscience had difficulty with the notion that who I am today is because of alcoholism and my recovery from it. Granted this is true but it touches upon why certain people are addicts and what God’s plan is in all of that.

Why are some people addicts and others are not? It is beyond the scope of this post to debate this, but I may tackle it in the future after more research. One can always rely on the Catholic belief, going back to either St. Francis DeSales or St. Ignatius Loyola, that things like “alcoholism” or “addiction” are “inordinate attractions.”

For whatever the reason or cause, be it genetic, environmental, upbringing or inability to cope with things that can be habitual, some people have a difficult time with alcohol, drugs and other things. Successfully overcoming them and relegating them to their proper place in life is important, but we must also be humbly aware that perhaps we may or may not have been “meant to be” alcoholics and addicts, and that we have only been given a second chance.

Mary Beth makes numerous other points about God’s place in our lives and our relationship with Him, all hinging upon our wills and how humble we are in submitting them to God.

Read the entire article here:

See: No Regrets

All links are via Real Love.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

FORGIVE YOURSELF!

Spirit Daily has an excellent article on the need to “FORGIVE YOURSELF!”

Kindly read it, it is very important for us alcoholics and addicts (anyone, really) to release ourselves from the emotional bonds that tie us to the deeds of our past. And not just for the here-and-now mental health. There is an eternal dimension, too.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

All things work for good for those who love God

A nice Facebook friend pointed out this passage from Sacred Scripture a few weeks ago when I was stressing out over Ning’s decision to phase out free social networks :

Romans 8:28: “We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”

(Via USCCB.)

If we work for God, and not ourselves, if the good things we do are for the glory of God and aid in building up His Kingdom on Earth, then they will succeed. Their success might be in a form or result other than what we would have scripted, but success in some manner is inevitable.

Patience, persistence and Faith are key. Grace is needed, too.

I was listening last night to Fr. Benedict Groeschel en route home from work on WLOF: the Station of the Cross and he was talking about grace, that freely given, unmerited supernatural gift from God which enables us to accomplish God’s will. Without it, we can do nothing.

John 15:5: “I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing.”

Psalm 127:1: “Unless the LORD build the house, they labor in vain who build.”

We can ask for it. It is freely given to us, but we can still ask for the graces needed to “get us going” and do what we are called to do. Grace may be the thing we need to defeat obstacles in our path, whether self-inflicted character defects that prevent us from being productive, to those obstacles inflicted upon us by others.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The rebuilding

My series of meditations on Psalm 51 was thought to be over as the Biblical margin notes indicated that the last 2 verses had been added substantially later and are also different in tone and focus (probably due to their later addition). I have reconsidered not including them, as they are a good reminder of some of the benefits of repentance, and the subsequent opportunity to build on what was completed in the penitential conversion. The main reason that I reconsidered is that Lent is upon us, and with its focus on repentance, conversion and ultimately death, I figured verses 20 & 21 would be a foretaste of the aftermath of a “good Lent.”

Psalm 51:20-21: “Make Zion prosper in your good pleasure; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Then you will be pleased with proper sacrifice, burnt offerings and holocausts; then bullocks will be offered on your altar.”

(Via USCCB.)

We are all sinners, we are unclean before God. We come to Him with our sins, presenting them as means for cleansing us of our impurities. Remorse and sorrow for our sins combined with our love for God causes us to embark upon a penitential journey. We are humble and sorrowful, and wish to do better in His sight. Our sins humble us, and make us realize that our actions are imperfect. We need His grace to save us, and by His grace we do the things needed to build up His Kingdom on Earth, for that is how we can grab a foretaste of Heaven. Our works alone do not save us, but in concert with His grace, they provide the evidence needed to establish a testimony to His goodness. We are made in the image and likeness of God, and as such even our works, under the influence of His grace, reflect Him in our lives.

It is through repentance and turning back to the Lord that we are then capable of offering up a proper sacrifice of ourselves, through the offering up of our daily troubles and imperfections, our sufferings and joys.

Lent is upon us. Start thinking of areas in which you are deficient in your devotion to God. Figure out where to amend your life.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

By their fruits you shall know them

Spirit Daily posted an article recently on spiritual growth and development, an issue that is near and dear to the hearts of people in recovery everywhere. It’s a good read, here it is:

SEEK YOUR ‘HIGHEST SELF’ AND REMEMBER THAT BY THE FRUITS WE KNOW OTHERS AND OURSELVES

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

How often do you pray and go to Church? Part 5 (Conclusion)

In the previous four posts of this series I wrote about the things in the Catholic Faith that a Catholic can use to live a life that could be free of alcohol and drugs.

“Catholic” means universal. A catholic life derived from the Catholic Faith would mean using all of the resources of the Faith in guiding and ordering a life. This would include using it in your struggle to stay clean and sober. It would mean that Catholic Christianity molds and guides your thoughts and actions, and what strengthens you to get through each day. Everything that I mentioned in the previous 4 posts can help guide or order your day. Just as alcohol and drugs were used “back in the day” to get through things and how the addiction was the source and summit of life, so too can Catholicism be the new priority in life. And a free and liberated life, at that.

Here is a sample day (obviously a rough sketch of a possible Catholic life. But the notion is there. Some variant is possible for everyone):

You awaken. Instead of staring at the ceiling or wall resentful at having survived the night, or trying to remember what happened the last time you saw the day, you are pretty well refreshed from a good sleep. You thank the Lord for a good night, and seek His guidance for the day.

“Lord, not my will, but Yours be done.”

(Your morning routine is set, whatever it is concerning breakfast and morning beverage.) But now it is time to devote to God. You pray a Morning Offering and a few other set prayers, then reach for the Bible and start your daily lectio divina. This spiritual meditative exercise fortifies you, as the Word of God jump starts your mind. As like your first few daily shots of alcohol set a fire to you after your first waking moments back then, now it is Scripture that gives you a focus.

This meditation completed, your get your Divine Office and pray the first section, the “Office of Readings.”

You get ready for the day, and take your Breviary with you (either the book or your cell if it is on your mobile 🙂 ) You head for Daily Mass en route to work. Prior to Mass, while sitting in Church, you read the Morning Prayer section of the Breviary. Usually there may be a connection to the Daily Mass readings.

Mass begins… you listen intently to the prayers and responses and the Readings, and you do not recite things, you pray them. You understand the Mass. Jesus is here.

Off to work, the Lord still within you as you had received Communion. Your commute is long enough so that you have enough time to pray the Rosary while driving (or sitting in public transit.) You prefer this to the raucous noise of morning radio. You don’t want the world to intrude, just yet. You let your mind go over the Mysteries of the day for the Rosary, and you think about their meaning. You get to work. You go about your morning.

Lunchtime. Time for Daytime Prayer. You turn to the prayers for mid-day and read them in the Breviary. Perhaps you also read the Breviary during a morning break, or maybe just a selection from a pocket New Testament. Nevertheless, you now punctuate your workday with Scripture and prayer, rather than swigs from a concealed bottle containing vodka (vodka because it is “odorless and leaves no taste on your breath.” Yeah, right.) Prayer and the Word of God gives you the strength and courage to make it through work.

Time to leave, you go home. Dinner, and now Evening Prayer from the Breviary. The evening is ahead of you. Drinking is not on the agenda, the thought hasn’t even crossed your mind.

Anyway, as you prepare for bed, you review the day, as you will be doing an examination of conscience with the Breviary’s “Night Prayer.” You review and recall any sins of commission and omission.

Night Prayer said, you go to sleep.

“Into Your hands, Father, I commend my spirit.”

The point of this series and its Conclusion is to underscore that as much as one drank in the past, there is a prayerful and Scriptural counterpoint to that life. Catholic beliefs and religious practices, from Mass attendance to prayer to devotions such as the Rosary, can provide a consummate life that envelopes you. Your mind will be re-programmed to not require a drink to cope. While a 12 Step or some other recovery program can provide some tools to help you cope, these sometimes run the danger of preventing you from seeking the fullness of the Faith that Jesus established in Earth. They may be the “easier, softer way,” but as Jesus said the road to Heaven passes through the narrow gate. Things that distract you, that deflect your eyes from the prize, should be discarded or put into their proper place. Heaven is your goal on the “Road of Happy Destiny.” Scriptural passages studies and learned, examples from the lives of the Saints can give you the boost and support needed to counter the dark ways of the world, or at least assist you in maintaining a healthy balance and perspective.

Adding the study of the Catechism of the Catholic Church (“CCC”), and there is an excellent resource to “validate” your choices. I never even mentioned the CCC in this series, but it is the best companion to the Bible out there. Full of objective truth gleaned from Scripture and the writings of the Popes and Saints, the CCC helps “fortify” you in ways few things can, next to the Bible.

They can give you the tools needed for you to you react differently to things, whereas in the past you relied on alcohol, and now perhaps on meeting dependency and slogans, Scriptural passages and the CCC can be the “ammunition” to fire back at the stuff life throws at you.

Lessons learned from studying Truth.

This is freedom, this is liberation. Instead of being a slave to alcohol and drugs, you are your own person. True freedom isn’t in doing whatever you want, with little thought to the consequences to yourself or to others. True freedom lies in being the best person that you can be, the person God intended you to be. Your true self. That is what you should Recover.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A weakling and a failure

In today’s prayer from Universalis there is a fitting passage from the Old Testament that reaches out and gives hope to anyone who is caught in the despair and seemingly endless futility of an addiction:

Sirach 11:12-13: “Another goes his way a weakling and a failure, with little strength and great misery

Yet the eyes of the LORD look favorably upon him; he raises him free of the vile dust,

Lifts up his head and exalts him to the amazement of the many.”

(Via USCCB.)

We all felt this way. Weak, because it didn’t seem possible that we would ever be free of alcohol and/or drugs, and obviously a failure because of our wasted potential and opportunities. Quite often we would be reminded of these “facts” by the people around us.

Maintain hope in the midst of the burning and crashing disasters that surround you. Maintain hope despite yourself, for help from the Lord will arrive eventually.

There is a saying heard in the rooms of AA: “Don’t give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens.” You never know just when someone or something will happen to you that provides the light needed to see the way out. Often, the help seemingly comes from out of nowhere.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Do not spurn a broken heart

Finally, in the 19th verse of Psalm 51, the penitent offers up themselves:

Psalm 51:19: “My sacrifice, God, is a broken spirit; God, do not spurn a broken, humbled heart.”

(Via USCCB.)

The penitent’s soul and very being is offered as a sacrifice. The penitent is stating that their entire self depends upon God for their happiness, and in order to maintain that union they are offering up as a sacrifice all that they are in repentance and conversion.

This is an utterly humble declaration. Some saints have stated that they are perfectly willing to be completely annihilated if it glorifies God more. An ultimate sacrifice for the beloved.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

No sacrifice

The 18th verse of Psalm 51 reminds us of the need for sincerity in repentance.

Psalm 51:18: “For you do not desire sacrifice; a burnt offering you would not accept.”

(Via USCCB.)

True repentance is needed as outward signs are insufficient. By outward signs I mean the actions that imply a changed behavior or a newfound piety. An inner conversion of one’s self is required for the conversion to work and for the penitent to remain on the path to Heaven. Sincerity and honesty is a key factor in this. The penitent needs to get to the root cause of the sin and work on eliminating it and maintain a firm purpose of amending one’s behavior.

In essence, the sacrifice is of oneself. The old, sinful person is sacrificed on the altar of conversion; the old, sinful ways are cast aside. While we will always sin, as no one can be completely free of the attachment to Earthly things and self-interest, we will try as best we can to avoid that which may make us susceptible to sin.

We have that responsibility to ourselves and those about us.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)