Category Archives: Destiny

The stone that the builders rejected

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The Gospel Reading for Mass for Friday of the Second Week of Lent is an interesting one if it is applied to alcohol recovery through Catholicism.

Matthew 21:33-43,45-46: “Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people:
‘Hear another parable.
There was a landowner who planted a vineyard,
put a hedge around it,
dug a wine press in it, and built a tower.
Then he leased it to tenants and went on a journey.
When vintage time drew near,
he sent his servants to the tenants to obtain his produce.
But the tenants seized the servants and one they beat,
another they killed, and a third they stoned.
Again he sent other servants, more numerous than the first ones,
but they treated them in the same way.
Finally, he sent his son to them,
thinking, ‘They will respect my son.’
But when the tenants saw the son, they said to one another,
‘This is the heir.
Come, let us kill him and acquire his inheritance.’
They seized him, threw him out of the vineyard, and killed him.
What will the owner of the vineyard do to those tenants when he comes?’
They answered him,
He will put those wretched men to a wretched death
and lease his vineyard to other tenants
who will give him the produce at the proper times.’
Jesus said to them, Did you never read in the Scriptures:

The stone that the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone;
by the Lord has this been done,
and it is wonderful in our eyes?

Therefore, I say to you,
the Kingdom of God will be taken away from you
and given to a people that will produce its fruit.’
When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables,
they knew that he was speaking about them.
And although they were attempting to arrest him,
they feared the crowds, for they regarded him as a prophet.”

(Via USCCB.)

Using metaphor, the vineyard can be likened to your life; the servants sent by the landowner can be grouped together and assigned the collective role of you, as the practicing alcoholic. The tenants who keep beating and killing the servants might be the symbols for alcoholism, as it sits in wait and repeatedly tries to kill you as you try to live a life.

The son of the landowner, who is finally sent to reclaim the vineyard, can also be you, still the alcoholic. But what makes the metaphor for “this” you different from the one for the servants who were waylaid and killed by the tenants?

The Scriptural passage indicates that the son was Jesus, and the Pharisees knew that the parable was about them. The servants were the prophets who were killed over the centuries by Israelite leaders, the precursors to the Pharisees who were symbolized by the tenants in the parable. The vineyard is the inheritance of being God’s “chosen”.

And so the son, who intends to vanquish the tenants and reclaim the vineyard, can be the metaphor for you, the person now in recovery. You, with the help of a “Higher Power” (all right, God the Holy Spirit and Jesus, the Son, working their mysterious ways) are working to defeat the addiction and live a newly sober life.

Will the tenants be successful? Will they drag you away and kill you like they did the son in the parable? Or will you persevere and survive?

Even if you fall, you can still take a cue from the parable. Jesus rose from the dead. He was the “cornerstone the builders rejected”; the Messiah the Jews didn’t believe in. You can take your failure and build on it. Call it “experience”, learn what didn’t work and take on the tenants again. (They will always be around.)

Alone, you cannot defeat alcoholism. Rare is the person who does. With Jesus you can accomplish anything. He is the Divine Physician, ready and able to help.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Great Chasm is Established

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The Gospel Reading for Thursday of the Second Week in Lent is scary for those who fail to repent and return to the Lord:

Luke 16:19-31: “Jesus said to the Pharisees:
‘There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen
and dined sumptuously each day.
And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores,
who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps
that fell from the rich man’s table.
Dogs even used to come and lick his sores.
When the poor man died,
he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham.
The rich man also died and was buried,
and from the netherworld, where he was in torment,
he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off
and Lazarus at his side.
And he cried out, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me.
Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue,
for I am suffering torment in these flames.’
Abraham replied, ‘My child,
remember that you received what was good during your lifetime
while Lazarus likewise received what was bad;
but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented.
Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established
to prevent anyone from crossing
who might wish to go from our side to yours
or from your side to ours.’
He said, ‘Then I beg you, father, send him
to my father’s house,
for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them,
lest they too come to this place of torment.’
But Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the prophets.
Let them listen to them.’
He said, ‘Oh no, father Abraham,
but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’
Then Abraham said,
‘If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets,
neither will they be persuaded
if someone should rise from the dead.” “

(Via USCCB.)

A scary thought, for many people hope to live life on their own terms and maybe “convert” or “repent” on the deathbed, when no more worldly “fun” can be had. Or maybe take a risk and negotiate or pray before God after death. Or worse, assume there is no Hell and that everyone gets into Heaven.

There is a clear message here from Jesus that there is little time to waste and much to risk. You’ve been told often enough about Heaven and Hell, there are no excuses for not heeding the words of Scripture. They are as real as anyone who has passed into the afterlife, no communication from the dead for verification of what is next is needed. God does not deceive.

On which side of the chasm do you wish to be on? If you are reading this then chances are you are sober or sobering up. Perhaps you have received a number of “coincidences” in your life that have helped you to survive your alcoholism and you’re learning that God is drawing you to Him. He wants you to be free of your alcoholism and grow closer to Him.

Continue your path and repent of your sins. Study Sacred Scripture and discover Jesus there.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Remember not our past

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The Responsorial Psalm for the Mass for Monday of the Second Week of Lent helps those of us who have done the 12 Steps, or at least have gone through the first 5 (the moral inventory and the sharing of that with another).

Psalm 79: 8,9,11,13: “Remember not against us the iniquities of the past;
may your compassion quickly come to us,
for we are brought very low.

Help us, O God our savior,
because of the glory of your name;
Deliver us and pardon our sins
for your name’s sake.

Let the prisoners’ sighing come before you;
with your great power free those doomed to death.
Then we, your people and the sheep of your pasture,
will give thanks to you forever;
through all generations we will declare your praise.
“

(Via USCCB.)

We all have “a past”. We all have things that we wish we never did, and want that they just “go away”, not to be remembered by anyone.

With the passage of time, things do indeed dim and are replaced by other events and memories, some good, some bad. The thing that we are concerned with is what mark on our souls and impact upon our eternal life that our past has had.

God is the judge of that. He looks upon our lives and sees where we went astray, but also when we repented and returned to Him. We repent (a conversion of our heart away from the sin and resolve to not commit it again), go to Confession and beseech the Lord to forgive us, and He will. The sins of our past will “not be remembered”, and no longer held against us.

This is important for us alcoholics and addicts who wrestle with our consciences about whatever we had done in the past, especially when memories return to haunt us. Meditating upon this during the season of Lent will help us cope with the weight of our misdeeds.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

In the desert for forty days

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The Gospel Reading for the First Sunday of Lent provides us with a spiritual model for our own season of fasting and prayer:

Mark 1:12-15 “The Spirit drove Jesus out into the desert,
and he remained in the desert for forty days,
tempted by Satan.
He was among wild beasts,
and the angels ministered to him.

After John had been arrested,
Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the gospel of God:
‘This is the time of fulfillment.
The kingdom of God is at hand.
Repent, and believe in the gospel.'”

(Via USCCB.)

For the 40 days of Lent (Sundays are excluded from Lenten observance) we are essentially wandering in a desert. We are awaiting the fulfillment of the Lord’s mission on Earth, to suffer and die for us and the proclaim the final victory over death. As we alcoholics wandered through a desert while we groped our way through early recovery, when we persevered we “died to our old alcoholic selves” and was resurrected as newly sober individuals. This is the hope for those of you reading this still living in the fear and uncertainty of the new life.

Lent is upon us. Not too late to decide what character defects you can work on or behaviors that separate you from God that you can choose to leave out in the desert to wither and die. Or pray for God’s will to be done in your life and accept whatever comes.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Second Step: Coming to Believe

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The Second Step of 12 Step recovery movements is:

“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

“Came to believe” implies a process in which you once didn’t believe, but eventually adopted a belief.

This is known as conversion. “Recovery” is a distinct form of conversion, as you undergo a process in which you gradually change from the person that you were to a person that you are now by virtue of altering how you react to things and seeking other means of fulfilling and satisfying the needs of your soul. This Step is the beginning of a conversion process.

Very rarely can anyone become sober by themselves. Many people can stop drinking on their own, but do not replace alcohol as a coping mechanism with anything else. Although not drinking, their sobriety isn’t necessarily a healthy or “sane” one. For a restoration of sanity, or at least fairly normal behavior, we must resort to a “Power greater than ourselves.” This means God, but to avoid the appearance of forcing a particular concept of God upon anyone, a benignly sounding “Higher Power” of your own conception is named.

Therefore, this Step is about adopting a new frame of mind in which you admit to the fact that you need special help to become sober and sane. Just as the result of the First Step was an admission of personal weakness, now you recognize that something else has to come in and fill the void left by your corrupted will.

From the Gospel according to Mark: Mark 9:23-24: “Jesus said to him,’‘If you can!‘ Everything is possible to one who has faith.’

Then the boy’s father cried out, ‘I do believe, help my unbelief!‘”

(Via USCCB.)

Ask the Lord to help your unbelief, if you feel that your Faith isn’t strong enough to carry you forward.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Death and Purgatory

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As a person who suffered from alcoholism, I can say that I have already experienced death of a sort.

The old me has died. Some parts of the old corpus may still be twitching, but essentially out of the agony and expiration of the old Paul S. a new person has been reborn.

Oblivion did not result from that death. It could have, as with the case of so many people who died of their addiction before being reached by treatment of whatever manner. Not to mean that oblivion follows death, as a Christian I believe in an afterlife. But an oblivion that results from dying anonymously, forgotten, and not-missed.

My rebirth as a sober alcoholic led me to return to the Catholic Church. In essence, my recovery helped to to sort out the garbage of my life and keep what’s best. My “truer self” is now represented by me.

The death throes of the old Paul S. could be likened to an experience of Purgatory. Purgatory is that state of existence after dying where the souls destined for Heaven need to be “purged” of their attachment to sin and the self. Nothing impure can enter into Heaven, and even if you die in the graces of God, you can still have an attachment to Earthly things that would prevent you from being fit to enter into the presence of God. Some Catholic mystics describe the purging as a pain caused by being near to God but separated from Him, and knowing that their Earthly attachments and selfishness is the cause of that separation. The pain is a longing for God that burns away those parts of the self that separates the soul from God.

I was “purged” of my addiction and character defects through withdrawal from alcohol and hallucinations, and finally just wanting what sober people had. The withdrawal could be likened to a “death”, the wanting what others had the purgation of the flaws of the old self.

In both deaths, the symbolic death of the alcoholic self and the real death we all face, a truer person emerges from the ordeal. In Heaven we will be free from all of our personal failings and shortcomings, all defects and things that hindered our true personality and development.

We will be the persons we are supposed to be.

That journey can begin now with a concerted effort in developing a vibrant prayer life, a commitment to involve oneself in the sacramental life of the Church, and a firm purpose of amending sinful ways.

Live as you were meant to live.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Death as a passage

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What do you think of death? Is it something to be feared, avoided and denied? Like many people do you ignore it and hope it never bothers you?

I have had a relationship with death stretching back to my childhood. Not that I lost anyone close to me during that time, but I feared that I would. My Mom had celebrated her 47th birthday 11 days before I was born. Dad turned 50 a few months before. I thought nothing of that until I went to school at age 5. At school events (choir, plays, etc.) I noticed right away that the other kid’s parents seemed different. I discovered that they were younger. They were farther away from death than my parents were. Death… as in going away permanently. I didn’t much like that. I was convinced that at any time Mom and Dad were going to die. I developed the habit of checking their chests while they were napping to see if they were breathing. This continued long after I reached adulthood during vacations home and after I returned home to care for Mom.

My adult experience of death has been defined by my Mom’s dying in November 2005, and the subsequent griefwork (grief counseling, namely online discussion forums, in person counseling and grief support groups.) After the initial period which lasted well over a year, I developed the notion that death isn’t something to be feared. Sure, I would rather have my Mom and other loved ones still around, but as I moved past the pain and agony of the loss, I was able to see and understand the “Communion of Saints” doctrine of the Church as something of a comfort. This great “cloud of witnesses” that St. Paul writes about in Hebrews 12 may include our beloved dead, gone on before us. They form a part of the Church along with us. Those in Heaven being members of the Church Triumphant, while we still on Earth as a part of the Church Militant. Together with the Church Suffering (those souls in Purgatory) we all comprise the Mystical Body of Christ. We are all members of a community of believers, and as a community can still have a relational bond.

Through prayer and devotion to the deceased, we can still maintain our relationships with them. They are not completely gone. We obviously cannot interact with them as we once did, but it is uncharitable and cynical to regard them as forgotten or “gone”. They are just beyond from where we are.

Therefore, death ceases to be a means by which our beloved are taken away and are gone. Death becomes a passage through which our beloved experience the joy of entering into the presence of God, the domain of eternity where He is.

Ultimately it is a passage that we need to think about and meditate upon. Unlike most times where we focus upon the destination rather than the road, this passage is significant unto itself. Everyone will experience it. Regardless of what you believe happens after death, it is universal. Happens to everyone. This means you. Whether the passage of death leads one to Heaven or Hell depends upon the choices we make while alive. Therefore death as a passage forces this consideration of our daily living. How do we live? How are you “trudging the Road of Happy Destiny?” Catholic teaching puts that AA slogan in a new light.

If your attention is focused upon Heaven, and you consciously yearn for that place which is our true home, the death is to be welcomed and not feared. Perhaps not desired, but certainly not looked upon with dread.

It is our way home.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Deadly Sin

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There is a death beyond which you cannot imagine. There is a thing which can kill you forever and from which there is no relief.

That thing is mortal sin.

Mortal sin is that sin in which you cut yourself off from God completely, from which there is no eternal life if you die with it on your soul. You condemn yourself to Hell for all eternity.

1 John 5:16-17;

If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life.

This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray.

All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church discusses mortal sin at length in the following paragraphs:

1855
Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to him.

Venial sin allows charity to subsist, even though it offends and wounds it.

1856
Mortal sin, by attacking the vital principle within us—that is, charity—necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and a conversion of heart which is normally accomplished within the setting of the sacrament of reconciliation:

When the will sets itself upon something that is of its nature incompatible with the charity that orients man toward his ultimate end, then the sin is mortal by its very object . . . whether it contradicts the love of God, such as blasphemy or perjury, or the love of neighbor, such as homicide or adultery. . . . But when the sinner’s will is set upon something that of its nature involves a disorder, but is not opposed to the love of God and neighbor, such as thoughtless chatter or immoderate laughter and the like, such sins are venial.

1857
For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”

1858
Grave matter is specified by the Ten Commandments, corresponding to the answer of Jesus to the rich young man: “Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and your mother.” The gravity of sins is more or less great: murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger.

1859
Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.

1860
Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man. The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.

1861
Mortal sin is a radical possibility of human freedom, as is love itself. It results in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make choices for ever, with no turning back. However, although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.

I write about this as there is the real possibility of mortal sins having been committed in our alcoholic past. Granted that there is a serious mitigating factor in that our will was compromised by our addiction, but still our moral reasoning may be in need of correction after sobering up. A strong examination of our alcoholic past in our moral inventory is likely to turn up some unsavory behaviors. Exposing them to another in 12 Step work isn’t enough. It does help clear the past and set us on a straighter moral path, but the stain of sin remains from these past actions.

These need to be taken care of in our return to the Sacrament of Confession. The chance need not be risked that our alcoholism or any other addiction can be used as an excuse to avoid Confession.

Supposition that we’ve suffered enough from them is not good enough, we need the sacramental graces from Confession and the absolution cleansing our soul to save us from damnation.

Our eternal life depends upon it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Happiness from People, Places and Things

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A realization came to me at work some time ago (I think last summer, 2008). It was a bad day at work, and I was wondering about why we have to endure certain things. I know I’ve written a great number of times about the need to accept suffering as evidence of our willingness to follow Christ, but at times I still wonder about happiness, and its place in our lives.

I think that happiness is illusory, we cannot depend upon others too much for our happiness, and if we look inward we become self-indulgent and then block out other people. Places change. The things of this world are passing, we cannot depend upon them either.

People come and go, the things of this world fade away, too. Some people stay with you for a long time, but they are a minority.

Places deteriorate, or you have to leave them for other places.

Things that the world offers are definitely not a source of happiness, at least not long-term healthy kind. They tend to take you away from God and the spiritual.

The only true source of happiness comes from following God’s will as best as one can discern it and following that will to Heaven, our true and eternal home.

It is sometimes necessary then for Christians to be “disconnected” from the world, to be “in the world”, but not “of it”. We participate in it, but realize that it is only a way station, and not a place of permanence.

This is what Sacred Scripture and The Catholic Church teaches. And this is why the Catholic faith was very instrumental in helping me overcome my alcoholism. I, like many other alcoholics, sought out people, places and things to satisfy a need. When we drank, it seemed that these illusory and transitory things were permanent.

Matthew 6:33: “…seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.“

(Via USCCB.)</p

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Purpose behind God's love

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One thing that has gotten me through trials, at least since sobering up, is that God has a purpose for me. I am reminded of this passage from Jeremiah:

Jeremiah 1:5

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.

Atheists and skeptics generally believe that we got here by random chance. How horrible, no wonder they usually sound angry and anxious.

Anyway, as a believer I know that God has a purpose for me. This may be a response to depression and anxiety, at least I hope it is.

Since I do not believe that God operates by random chance, and that things are brought into being for a reason, I think that when the day is dark and I am feeling out of sorts, I am going to remind myself that the Almighty God of creation didn’t create me in a moment of whimsy, but He had a reason for me. This is what the Catholic Faith has taught me. We are not the result of random chance. We are the result of a Divine decision.

No matter what garbage may be tossed my way, I have to remind myself of this.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)