Category Archives: Forgiveness

A general apology of sorts

Posted on by

I feel the need to offer an apology for the lack of posting recently. My wife just told me that I apologize for “not blogging” too much. That’s possible. But perhaps my conscience is bothering me. Or maybe I’m just a melancholic moody alcoholic in recovery and those moods get the best of me. But, I have been very guilty over the past year or so of promising daily posting and coming up with various plans to get myself to do just that. I have not followed through by virtue of the fact that I have never posted daily apart from novenas or a special series on things.

A part of me says that I shouldn’t feel lousy about myself as I have been through a series of major life-changing events this past year, every one of which is usually at or near the top of lists that state: “Doing any one of these things runs the risks of relapse.” (Relocation, job-changing and marriage, all in one year!) But still, I was raised with the notion that if you say you’re going to do something, follow through and do it. The fact that I didn’t relapse and was never seriously tempted to do so is a testimony to my Faith and sobriety. Not a testimony to me, but to the tools at my disposal.

Nevertheless, my intentions have exceeded my ability to deliver. I suppose my eyeballs got too big at blogging possibilities and my grasp reached for too much and I should have toned down expectations and just delivered what I could when I was able.

At any rate, please take this apology as a sincere attempt to work through stuff and get back on a track of sorts. The situation announced in my “blog update-personal news” post is holding true. The office is getting organized.

Blogging, as I always state, will continue. Stopping is never an option.

Thanks for your patience.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Moving beyond your past

Posted on by

There is an excellent article posted this morning (October 17, 2008) in Spirit Daily on resolving issues from the past such as hurts and resentments.

As alcoholics and addicts we know all too well how dangerous it is to spend too much time nursing grudges and harboring resentments. This article may kick start or remind people of the necessity of moving past the hurts and bad feelings of the past.

There’s more at stake than sobriety.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Seven Deadly Sins

Posted on by

Penitent Jeff over at Conversion for Life | A Catholic Journey has started writing a series of posts on the Seven Deadly Sins.

Check him out.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The sins of my youth

Posted on by

In the Liturgy of the Hours reading for Daytime Prayer (Midday) there is a line from Sacred Scripture that stood out:

Psalm 25:7: “Remember no more the sins of my youth; remember me only in light of your love.“

(Via USCCB.)

Our alcoholic and addictive past is full of wreckage, mostly sinful. The weight of that past drags us down unless we clean it up by turning to God. The Sacrament of Reconciliation (aka “Confession” or “Penance”) is there for our use. It cleanses us of our sins and washes clean our past before God. It is a Sacrament of Love in that our Father in Heaven takes us back and welcomes us to Him because we repented of our sins and turned to Him for forgiveness.

In the “Big Book” of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. New York, 2001) there is a line on page 83,

“We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.”

This is part of the 10th Step Promises, which detail a list of positive changes in attitude if one has persevered in working the first Nine Steps. I won’t go into all that now. But our regret of the past is rooted in the stain of sin on our souls, our wish to “not shut the door on it” is rooted in humility. If we do not remember our past, we will make the same mistakes again. Our remembering the past tempers any judgmental attitude towards others and helps us to use compassion in our dealings with people. Quite often they are as messed up as we are.

Psalm 51:3-5: “Have mercy on me, God, in your goodness; in your abundant compassion blot out my offense.

Wash away all my guilt; from my sin cleanse me.

For I know my offense; my sin is always before me.”

(Via USCCB.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The many ways of God's healing gifts

Posted on by

The following is a link to an article on being open to the varied and diverse ways that God can heal you. Please read and consider how or if it can be relevant to your life.

Spirit Daily – Daily spiritual news from around the world: “GOD IS A GOD OF SURPRISE AND HAS SUCH IN STORE FOR YOU IF YOU HEAL INSIDE AND LOVE”

(Via Spirit Daily.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 5

Posted on by

The Fifth Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that a person does not conceal any sinful thoughts, or any wrongs committed in secret, but humbly confesses them.

The Step was intended for monks to do this in respect to his abbot (man who is in charge of the monastery), but we also can do this with our priests in Confession.

Psalm 32:5;

Then I declared my sin to you; my guilt I did not hide. I said, “I confess my faults to the LORD,” and you took away the guilt of my sin.

It is out of pride that we refuse to confess. From the blasphemous mortal sin of presuming that God cannot forgive a serious sin, to just concealing something out of embarrassment, pride is the agent here. We must confess our sins to a priest for absolution and penance, this at least humbles us by bringing our misdeeds to the light of day.

From Step 5 of various 12 Step movements:

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

So even a non-religious group feels that it is of great importance to reveal to another one’s wrongdoings. There is a certain catharsis in doing so, a definite change is felt within by the act of confessing, either in sacramental Confession or in “doing the Fifth Step” with someone.

Feeling that you can just confess sins straight to God is just a cop-out. Explore your feelings deep within, and if you’re honest, you’ll discover that you’re not being “pious” in talking to God, you’re running away from the sins and embarrassment they cause.

Confessing to another introduces you to the concept of “honesty”, another humility-inducing act.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

You will not be released until you have paid the last penny

Posted on by

The Gospel Reading from today’s Mass has important things to say on the subject of reconciliation that many might wish to consider:

Matthew 5: 20-26;

I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
“You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.’
But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, ‘Raqa,’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna.
Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court with him. Otherwise your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.
Amen, I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny.

The last line about not being released until you have paid in full is one of the Catholic Church’s Scriptural proofs for the existence of Purgatory. Jesus is apparently strongly implying that if you die still indebted for a wrongdoing, you will pay for it in the afterlife. Since there is an end to this punishment, it is not an eternal one like Hell, therefore a place of temporary punishment must exist.

That being said, even a place of temporary punishment is still punishment, and why undergo it if you can avoid it? Settle accounts now while there is time, make whatever amendments to those you’ve hurt while they’re still around to reconcile with.

Granted it isn’t easy, especially if there is a threat of rejection or of wounds being re-opened. But meditating on the possibility, “becoming willing to make amends” is a start towards this, and of lessening one’s time in Purgatory.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics: Day 8

Posted on by

Today we pray the eighth day of our Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics. Like yesterday we begin with:

PRAYER FOR THE ADDICTED

God of mercy, we bless You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who ministered to all who come to Him. Give Your strength to N., Your servant, bound by the chains of addiction. Enfold him/her in Your love and restore him/her to the freedom of God’s children. Lord, look with compassion on all those who have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of Your unfailing mercy, and strengthen them in the work of recovery. To those who care for them, grant patient understanding and a love that perseveres. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Again, as in the past few days I’ll take the post hint from the “Prayer for the Addicted.” This time I’ll concentrate on the “assurance of Your unfailing mercy” line.

God’s mercy is limitless. We place limitations on it by not seeking it out or by assuming that our sins are greater than His mercy.

There is nothing that anyone has done that God cannot forgive. Period. His mercy endures forever as it says in the Psalms, and is there for the asking.

No matter how bad your past, it is wiped clean in God’s mercy.

In the sidebar of this blog there are a group of links entitled “Divine Mercy”. Please spend sometime exploring them as they will open up to you the wonders and riches of God’ mercy.

We conclude the daily novena with:

Official Prayer for the Canonization of Blessed Matt Talbot

“Lord, in your servant, Matt Talbot you have given us a wonderful example of triumph over addiction, of devotion to duty, and of lifelong reverence of the Holy Sacrament. May his life of prayer and penance give us courage to take up our crosses and follow in the footsteps of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Father, if it be your will that your beloved servant should be glorified by your Church, make known by your heavenly favours the power he enjoys in your sight. We ask this through the same Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.”

The source of these prayers is Circle of Prayer – Matt Talbot Intercedes for Alcoholics .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics: Day 7

Posted on by

Today we pray Day 7 of our Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics. Like yesterday we begin with:

PRAYER FOR THE ADDICTED

God of mercy, we bless You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who ministered to all who come to Him. Give Your strength to N., Your servant, bound by the chains of addiction. Enfold him/her in Your love and restore him/her to the freedom of God’s children. Lord, look with compassion on all those who have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of Your unfailing mercy, and strengthen them in the work of recovery. To those who care for them, grant patient understanding and a love that perseveres. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Yesterday I wrote about the “patient understanding” part of the “Prayer for the Addicted”. Today I’ll look at the “love that perseveres.”

We alcoholics are difficult people to deal with. Forget about how we were when we were drinking. Even after we’ve been sober for years we still have emotional mood swings that are higher, sharper and quicker than “normal people.” It is the nature of our condition and why we have to remain vigilant about emotional triggers and keep focused on how we react to things.

But imagine how it is for that person still caught in their addiction. “Love conquers all” and it is definitely love that is need to help them through the confusion of early sobriety. Love is also needed for yourself, in coping with the difficulties of your addict.

Remember your early sobriety and the confusion you experienced. Someone’s love got you through it. Pass that along (“pay it forward”) and love the person now suffering. God is love, and if we are Christians and we are to reflect God’s image, then we must love those most in need of it.

No matter how difficult.

We conclude the daily novena with:

Official Prayer for the Canonization of Blessed Matt Talbot

“Lord, in your servant, Matt Talbot you have given us a wonderful example of triumph over addiction, of devotion to duty, and of lifelong reverence of the Holy Sacrament. May his life of prayer and penance give us courage to take up our crosses and follow in the footsteps of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Father, if it be your will that your beloved servant should be glorified by your Church, make known by your heavenly favours the power he enjoys in your sight. We ask this through the same Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.”

The source of these prayers is Circle of Prayer – Matt Talbot Intercedes for Alcoholics .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics: Day 5

Posted on by

Today we pray Day 5 of our Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics. Like yesterday we begin with:

PRAYER FOR THE ADDICTED

God of mercy, we bless You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who ministered to all who come to Him. Give Your strength to N., Your servant, bound by the chains of addiction. Enfold him/her in Your love and restore him/her to the freedom of God’s children. Lord, look with compassion on all those who have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of Your unfailing mercy, and strengthen them in the work of recovery. To those who care for them, grant patient understanding and a love that perseveres. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Forgiveness is healing. No matter how hard it can be, to forgive someone releases you from the bondage that they have over you by the act they committed.

More than likely the person you are praying for has harmed you. All of us alcoholics has harmed someone in some way. No one is innocent.

Forgive. Even if it takes time due to the severity of the act, forgive. Remember the Lord’s Prayer and it conditions for receiving God’s mercy:

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

If we don’t forgive others for the wrongs they have committed against us, we cannot expect God to forgive us for the wrongs we have committed.

You can start small by opening up to the person. A small act of kindness can smooth the way for forgiveness.

We conclude the daily novena with:

Official Prayer for the Canonization of Blessed Matt Talbot

“Lord, in your servant, Matt Talbot you have given us a wonderful example of triumph over addiction, of devotion to duty, and of lifelong reverence of the Holy Sacrament. May his life of prayer and penance give us courage to take up our crosses and follow in the footsteps of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Father, if it be your will that your beloved servant should be glorified by your Church, make known by your heavenly favours the power he enjoys in your sight. We ask this through the same Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.”

The source of these prayers is Circle of Prayer – Matt Talbot Intercedes for Alcoholics .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)