Category Archives: Forgiveness

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 5

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The Fifth Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that a person does not conceal any sinful thoughts, or any wrongs committed in secret, but humbly confesses them.

The Step was intended for monks to do this in respect to his abbot (man who is in charge of the monastery), but we also can do this with our priests in Confession.

Psalm 32:5;

Then I declared my sin to you; my guilt I did not hide. I said, “I confess my faults to the LORD,” and you took away the guilt of my sin.

It is out of pride that we refuse to confess. From the blasphemous mortal sin of presuming that God cannot forgive a serious sin, to just concealing something out of embarrassment, pride is the agent here. We must confess our sins to a priest for absolution and penance, this at least humbles us by bringing our misdeeds to the light of day.

From Step 5 of various 12 Step movements:

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

So even a non-religious group feels that it is of great importance to reveal to another one’s wrongdoings. There is a certain catharsis in doing so, a definite change is felt within by the act of confessing, either in sacramental Confession or in “doing the Fifth Step” with someone.

Feeling that you can just confess sins straight to God is just a cop-out. Explore your feelings deep within, and if you’re honest, you’ll discover that you’re not being “pious” in talking to God, you’re running away from the sins and embarrassment they cause.

Confessing to another introduces you to the concept of “honesty”, another humility-inducing act.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

You will not be released until you have paid the last penny

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The Gospel Reading from today’s Mass has important things to say on the subject of reconciliation that many might wish to consider:

Matthew 5: 20-26;

I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
“You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.’
But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, ‘Raqa,’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna.
Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court with him. Otherwise your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.
Amen, I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny.

The last line about not being released until you have paid in full is one of the Catholic Church’s Scriptural proofs for the existence of Purgatory. Jesus is apparently strongly implying that if you die still indebted for a wrongdoing, you will pay for it in the afterlife. Since there is an end to this punishment, it is not an eternal one like Hell, therefore a place of temporary punishment must exist.

That being said, even a place of temporary punishment is still punishment, and why undergo it if you can avoid it? Settle accounts now while there is time, make whatever amendments to those you’ve hurt while they’re still around to reconcile with.

Granted it isn’t easy, especially if there is a threat of rejection or of wounds being re-opened. But meditating on the possibility, “becoming willing to make amends” is a start towards this, and of lessening one’s time in Purgatory.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics: Day 8

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Today we pray the eighth day of our Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics. Like yesterday we begin with:

PRAYER FOR THE ADDICTED

God of mercy, we bless You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who ministered to all who come to Him. Give Your strength to N., Your servant, bound by the chains of addiction. Enfold him/her in Your love and restore him/her to the freedom of God’s children. Lord, look with compassion on all those who have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of Your unfailing mercy, and strengthen them in the work of recovery. To those who care for them, grant patient understanding and a love that perseveres. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Again, as in the past few days I’ll take the post hint from the “Prayer for the Addicted.” This time I’ll concentrate on the “assurance of Your unfailing mercy” line.

God’s mercy is limitless. We place limitations on it by not seeking it out or by assuming that our sins are greater than His mercy.

There is nothing that anyone has done that God cannot forgive. Period. His mercy endures forever as it says in the Psalms, and is there for the asking.

No matter how bad your past, it is wiped clean in God’s mercy.

In the sidebar of this blog there are a group of links entitled “Divine Mercy”. Please spend sometime exploring them as they will open up to you the wonders and riches of God’ mercy.

We conclude the daily novena with:

Official Prayer for the Canonization of Blessed Matt Talbot

“Lord, in your servant, Matt Talbot you have given us a wonderful example of triumph over addiction, of devotion to duty, and of lifelong reverence of the Holy Sacrament. May his life of prayer and penance give us courage to take up our crosses and follow in the footsteps of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Father, if it be your will that your beloved servant should be glorified by your Church, make known by your heavenly favours the power he enjoys in your sight. We ask this through the same Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.”

The source of these prayers is Circle of Prayer – Matt Talbot Intercedes for Alcoholics .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics: Day 7

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Today we pray Day 7 of our Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics. Like yesterday we begin with:

PRAYER FOR THE ADDICTED

God of mercy, we bless You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who ministered to all who come to Him. Give Your strength to N., Your servant, bound by the chains of addiction. Enfold him/her in Your love and restore him/her to the freedom of God’s children. Lord, look with compassion on all those who have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of Your unfailing mercy, and strengthen them in the work of recovery. To those who care for them, grant patient understanding and a love that perseveres. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Yesterday I wrote about the “patient understanding” part of the “Prayer for the Addicted”. Today I’ll look at the “love that perseveres.”

We alcoholics are difficult people to deal with. Forget about how we were when we were drinking. Even after we’ve been sober for years we still have emotional mood swings that are higher, sharper and quicker than “normal people.” It is the nature of our condition and why we have to remain vigilant about emotional triggers and keep focused on how we react to things.

But imagine how it is for that person still caught in their addiction. “Love conquers all” and it is definitely love that is need to help them through the confusion of early sobriety. Love is also needed for yourself, in coping with the difficulties of your addict.

Remember your early sobriety and the confusion you experienced. Someone’s love got you through it. Pass that along (“pay it forward”) and love the person now suffering. God is love, and if we are Christians and we are to reflect God’s image, then we must love those most in need of it.

No matter how difficult.

We conclude the daily novena with:

Official Prayer for the Canonization of Blessed Matt Talbot

“Lord, in your servant, Matt Talbot you have given us a wonderful example of triumph over addiction, of devotion to duty, and of lifelong reverence of the Holy Sacrament. May his life of prayer and penance give us courage to take up our crosses and follow in the footsteps of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Father, if it be your will that your beloved servant should be glorified by your Church, make known by your heavenly favours the power he enjoys in your sight. We ask this through the same Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.”

The source of these prayers is Circle of Prayer – Matt Talbot Intercedes for Alcoholics .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics: Day 5

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Today we pray Day 5 of our Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics. Like yesterday we begin with:

PRAYER FOR THE ADDICTED

God of mercy, we bless You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who ministered to all who come to Him. Give Your strength to N., Your servant, bound by the chains of addiction. Enfold him/her in Your love and restore him/her to the freedom of God’s children. Lord, look with compassion on all those who have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of Your unfailing mercy, and strengthen them in the work of recovery. To those who care for them, grant patient understanding and a love that perseveres. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Forgiveness is healing. No matter how hard it can be, to forgive someone releases you from the bondage that they have over you by the act they committed.

More than likely the person you are praying for has harmed you. All of us alcoholics has harmed someone in some way. No one is innocent.

Forgive. Even if it takes time due to the severity of the act, forgive. Remember the Lord’s Prayer and it conditions for receiving God’s mercy:

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

If we don’t forgive others for the wrongs they have committed against us, we cannot expect God to forgive us for the wrongs we have committed.

You can start small by opening up to the person. A small act of kindness can smooth the way for forgiveness.

We conclude the daily novena with:

Official Prayer for the Canonization of Blessed Matt Talbot

“Lord, in your servant, Matt Talbot you have given us a wonderful example of triumph over addiction, of devotion to duty, and of lifelong reverence of the Holy Sacrament. May his life of prayer and penance give us courage to take up our crosses and follow in the footsteps of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Father, if it be your will that your beloved servant should be glorified by your Church, make known by your heavenly favours the power he enjoys in your sight. We ask this through the same Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.”

The source of these prayers is Circle of Prayer – Matt Talbot Intercedes for Alcoholics .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 3 of Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Recovery

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On this third day of the novena, we pray for the gift of understanding.

As usual we say the beginning prayer (actually an old, common prayer for the Holy Spirit):

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

As alcoholics we were seriously misunderstood. That’s one reason why we drank, to escape from those around us who didn’t understand us and to escape into a fantasy world where everything made sense. And we mattered.

Let us not in our sobriety do unto others what had been done unto us. We perhaps deserved being misunderstood. Perhaps we expected others to just get us and just allow us into their lives. We wanted to be accepted for ourselves on our own terms and that was that. When we didn’t fit in to other people’s expectations (or we refused to) we ran off and drank.

We pray today for the gift of understanding. We do not know what is going on in someone else’s head or heart. We do not know what is going on in their life. We shall not judge from outward appearances what could just be a snapshot of a momentary period in their life.

We let it go, or perhaps don’t pick it up.

Oh, Holy Spirit, enable us to see others as the Father sees them. That all whom we meet are children of the Father like us, and just like us are broken and wounded though perhaps in ways we may not understand. We ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 4

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Once again, we continue with this, the 4th Day of our Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe. As usual, go here and read the prayer while thinking about a loved one who is struggling with addiction, and then contemplate the following:

This would have been my father’s 95th birthday. He died in 1995. I didn’t really grieve over him as we didn’t get along much, plus whatever”grieving” I did was drowned or expressed in alcohol. He was not an alcoholic. The honor of being the “family drunk” goes to me.

My last conversation with him was an argument. It doesn’t matter what it was about. But about 2-3 weeks later I received the phone call from Mom that he had died. I was asked to call a brother of mine as they were having trouble reaching him.

My brother and I hadn’t been on speaking terms ever since I moved out on him 2 1/2 years before. He had been upset that I did unto him (moving) what he was planning on doing unto me. I left a message on his voice mail to “Call home, it’s about Dad.”

This led to a reconciliation of sorts between us that lasted for a decade. We don’t talk much now, but that can change. There was never any reconciliation between my father and I, but that really doesn’t matter anymore.

The reason that doesn’t matter anymore is I do feel that my father is in Heaven, and that he has been observing events in my life and the family’s life as a part of that “great cloud of witnesses” described in Hebrews;

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the leader and perfecter of faith. For the sake of the joy that lay before him he endured the cross, despising its shame, and has taken his seat at the right of the throne of God.

He knows what’s going on and he understands why I’ve done things that I did. Plus, any flaws or imperfections of the self that he retained at death were purged from him in Purgatory (as nothing impure can enter Heaven) and there is no longer any reason on my part to hold any resentment against him for anything he did.

The thing is, one shouldn’t wait until after the finality of death to “reconcile” with a loved one. The person that you are praying for in the Novena is a loved one (or once was). That person could die in their addiction, and no chance of a happy life with you would be possible. As hard as it is, it is acknowledged that trust may be hard for you to grant that person. So don’t trust them for now. Wait until they’ve earned it. You do have the right to withhold trust until you feel safe enough to grant it.

But you can love that person. Never withhold that. Love conquers all things, or so I’ve read somewhere. It can heal. And it can heal both ways. To the addict it can be a lifeline, and for you it can heal the wounds inflicted upon you by the addict or alcoholic.

So, take heed the writer of Hebrews admonition to “…let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus…” Jesus can help you love. Gaze upon Him on the Cross. That’s love. You needn’t get crucified, but you can nail your anger and resentments to that Cross.

Go to the sidebar and under “Labels” and look up “Forgiveness”. Read those posts at your convenience.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Month of the Precious Blood

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July is dedicated to the Precious Blood of Jesus. It is a symbol of our Redemption by Jesus’ sacrifice and death. It is among the oldest Christian devotions.

One moving scene in Mel Gibson’s epic film, “The Passion of the Christ” depicted Mary and Mary Magdalene taking rags and cleaning up Jesus’ blood after His scourging at the pillar.

There is a special prayer one can say in this devotion.

“Eternal Father, I offer you the Precious Blood or your Divine Son Jesus, in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass said throughout the world today, for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, for sinners every where, in the Universal Church, in my own home and within my family.”

The Precious Blood is the symbol of God’s mercy, as it was spilled to pay for our sins. It is part of the Eucharist (whether you partake of the wine at Mass or not, its redemptive and spiritual significance is in the Bread as well).

Imagine yourself swimming in the blood-red sea of God’s mercy.

More on the Precious Blood here.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A New Creation

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I’m not sure if this is from a recent Mass Reading that I forgot to write about on the relevant day (it’s been sitting in draft mode for a while) or just something I picked up in a blog or Bible perusal, but ponder this from St. Paul’s Second Letter to the Corinthians:

2 Corinthians 5:16-18

…from now on we regard no one according to the flesh; even if we once knew Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know him so no longer.
So whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.
And all this is from God, who has reconciled us to himself through Christ and given us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting their trespasses against them and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.
So we are ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

We are “in Christ” when we live out our Christian vocation. Being Christian isn’t something you do for an hour on Sundays or when its convenient or inoffensive. It isn’t something you turn on or off. No one is perfect in the ideal, but you try anyway.

When you are “in Christ”, you’ve cast off your old self, the self that belonged to the World and its shifting and changing “anything goes” corruptible moral and social values. By being Christian and living according to Jesus’s teachings, you are a new creation, a new person, one who has been reconciled to God through Jesus by His sacrifice on the Cross.

We have been reconciled for our sins, no matter how scarlet, no matter how often committed. No matter what the transgression was, reconcile yourself to God, and be “in Christ.” Confess your sins to a priest and be made new.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Our Father

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In light of my past few blog posts, as well as a few upcoming ones, a nice coincidence that today’s Gospel reading (Thursday of the Eleventh Week of Ordinary Time) has Jesus teaching his disciples how to pray. And He teaches them the Best Prayer Ever:

Matthew 6:7-15

In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
“This is how you are to pray:
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread;
and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors;
and do not subject us to the final test, but deliver us from the evil one.
If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.”

Study the prayer, and try to say it as if you’ve never said it before. Sometimes when we’ve said a prayer or a popular saying too many times, it loses its meaning as it has become too familiar. Say it slowly and prayerfully, meditating or praying on each word or phrase.

Another thing you can do is to go over to the sidebar, and look up this prayer in the New Jerusalem Bible and the Douay-Rheims Bible. The translation I quoted is from the New American Bible (the “official” Bible for American Catholics.) Studying a passage in different translations may help to get a better understanding of it, by way of the slightly different perspective of the translations.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)