Category Archives: Forgiveness

Jumping off place

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Every alcoholic eventually arrives at a bottom. It is different for each, for some it could be the loss of house, spouse, job, money, health and respect. For others it could merely be the threat of those losses. Something happens at which point the alcoholic decides, “This cannot go on.” It is that point at which the alcoholic decides that maybe not drinking is better than drinking. “If I continue to drink I will die.” Or, “If I stop drinking, I may just wish I were dead.”

At any rate, the alcoholic is at a crossroads. AA’s basic text, the so-called “Big Book”calls it the “Jumping off place”. It is that point at which the alcoholic decides between life or death. It may not be an easy decision, some fight with it and manage to struggle for years before finally choosing (or have the choice made for them).

Choosing life is the path to recovery from alcohol and sobriety. It is also the path back into the Father’s loving embrace as you seek His help in staying free from alcohol.

It is a choice made in today’s Gospel reading, “The Parable of the Prodigal Son” See Luke 15:11-32. The Gospel contains a verse (#17): “Coming to his senses he thought…”. This implies the son had reached a decision after some thought. He had squandered his inheritance from his father, lived as a lowly servant feeding pigs, and envied the pigs. You would think he wouldn’t take too long in deciding the right course of action, but human pride is a strange thing. Some have trouble admitting to having made bad decisions, they would rather continue on the destructive course they are on. Perhaps a form of suicide. He eventually chose to return to his father and plead for mercy and forgiveness, accepting whatever he would receive.

Rather than receiving punishment and chastisement, the son was most warmly welcomed and embraced back into the fold of his father’s house.

So to, are we received by our Father in Heaven, when we come to our senses by whatever means we arrive at, repent and ask forgiveness. We drank and hurt Him, others and ourselves. We stop and begin the painful process to picking up our lives and amending it.

If you are reading this and are an alcoholic, perhaps you have hit bottom and have made the decision to choose life. You found this blog perhaps because you were seeking tools to help in your continued recovery. That is wonderful, I do hope this place helps. Or perhaps you have yet to reach that point, and still think you do not have a problem or can handle it on your own. Your decision-making process is affected by your drinking, listen to the voices around you who may be telling you things about your behavior. Take a cold, hard look at life. Has it always been this way? perhaps things were terrible before you began drinking, but how are they now, compared to those times?

Have you come to your senses?

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Symbolism and Spirituality of Cleaning

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There is an inherent symbolic and spiritual aspect of cleaning.

Think about it.

Whether it’s dishes or laundry, you have a stack or pile of stuff that’s dirty. You submit them to a cleansing process and afterwards they are clean, free of anything and everything that soiled or dirtied them before.

Sort of like our souls before and after sacramental Confession. The graces of God that flow to us through the priest cleanse our souls, and make us as new as the day of our baptism.

There is also a therapeutic side to cleaning. You can mentally force a symbolism onto things laying about in a messy residence, weeds in a garden, or the pile of dirty clothes and stack of dishes. Each item that needs to be removed or cleaned off can represent a resentment, an envy or anger, or something bad that disconnects us from God and others. Imagine the resentment going away as things get more organized. As you forgive.

Thinking of cleaning in this manner is somewhat better than regarding it as a chore or drudgery.

Anyone that knows me is aware of a connection between my state of life and how well the apartment looks.

I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning and organizing lately.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A whole lot of forgiving going on

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In the Gospel from today’s Mass, Peter poses a question:

Matthew 18:21-22

Then Peter approaching asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.”

Jesus then goes on with the parable of the servant who was to be sold along with wife and family and possessions to pay off a debt, then begged and received forgiveness. In turn, this same servant failed to show the same leniency in forgiving a debt that he was owed. He paid for his lack of forgiveness. (Read the full Gospel reading at Matthew 18:21-35.)

What does this mean for us sober alcoholics? Quite simple, as we have made amendments to God and to others for our past wrongdoings and have sought and perhaps received forgiveness, so must we show forgiveness to others for their transgressions against us.

In cruder terms, we screw-ups generally recognize such behavior in others and should be more forgiving of it. We’ve been there, we’ve done that. How can we, of all people, sit in judgment of others?

As Christians, we can judge another’s behavior to a degree, but we cannot judge the person. In judging another’s actions, we must be charitable and understanding of that person’s dignity as a child of God. We do not tolerate and condone sinful behavior, we just retain awareness that we also were gravely sinful, and caution others in a loving manner of what we see as a wrong.

We sinned. We’ve asked forgiveness. We’ve received it. Others sin against us, and whether they ask for it or not, we forgive them. This cuts the bond that the trangression holds over us. As the servant in the parable failed to forgive the debt owed to him, and as a result was sent to prison to be tortured for his treatment of the other servant, so too, will our lack of forgiveness be like a prison of torture for us, as long as we hold onto the resentment over the action.

It goes deeper. In the Lord’s Prayer, also known as the “Our Father”, which is said at the end of many AA meetings in North America, there are the words: “…forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

In other words, there is more to forgiveness than merely releasing resentment against another. The degree to which we forgive other people is the degree to which we will be forgiven by God. No matter how much we beg forgiveness for ourselves, if we lack forgiveness for others, it will be lacking towards us from God.

It is only fair. We want something for ourselves, we should aid others in receiving it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Remember your mercies, Lord

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As recovering (or recovered) alcoholics, we embark upon a new way of living. We are learning to live according to new principles, whether they be 12 Step or Christian. But we still have our old lives to contend with.

From the Reponsorial Psalm of today’s Mass:

Psalm 25:4-9

Make known to me your ways, LORD; teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my savior.
For you I wait all the long day, because of your goodness, LORD.
Remember your compassion and love, O LORD; for they are ages old.
Remember no more the sins of my youth; remember me only in light of your love.
Good and upright is the LORD, who shows sinners the way,
Guides the humble rightly, and teaches the humble the way.

This excerpt from Psalm 25 can serve as a prayer for those of us in transition from the old ways of drinking to the new ways of sobriety. We need a new way of living, a new path to chart our lives. We implore God to teach us the way, and if we incline our ears to listen to Him, we can discern the meanings and teachings in our heart. We learn to trod the new path.

The old path needs to be cleaned up. We have sinned against God and against others. We also implore God to forgive us for our past wrongdoings. We ask Him to blot out from memory our past misdeeds and to look upon us through a Father’s loving eyes. For a loving God He indeed is, as He sent us His only Son to die for our species’ past transgressions in the beginning of our history. Only Jesus, fully human and fully divine, could pay the price for our Original Sin. Jesus, in His human-ness, accepted our guilt (though He committed no sin), and in His divinity, He redeemed us. We would otherwise should have died as a species were it not for His compassion and love. He allowed us to live despite Original Sin, and instead had His Son pay the price for us.

This is the God that we implore to remember us in the light of His love.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)