Category Archives: Forgiveness

Ash Wednesday 2023

Posted on by

Since this blog is about “Conversion, Prayer, Fasting, Repentance, and Penance,” amongst other things, Lent is a natural time to blog a lot since those ‘abouts’ correspond to the season. I have often in previous Lents blogged daily, or at least a few times a week, taking inspiration from the daily Mass readings or the Divine Office. I might try that this year, but don’t hold your breath. I know I’ve done it throughout the season several times, tried and fell short a few other times, and didn’t even make the attempt in many years. 2023? Who can say? Anyway, here goes this one for today, Ash Wednesday.

In this excerpt from the First Reading for the Mass for today, the Old Testament prophet Joel says:

(Joel 2:12-14)

Even now, says the LORD,

return to me with your whole heart,

with fasting, and weeping, and mourning;

Rend your hearts, not your garments,

and return to the LORD, your God.

For gracious and merciful is he,

slow to anger, rich in kindness,

and relenting in punishment.

Perhaps he will again relent

and leave behind him a blessing,

Offerings and libations

for the LORD, your God.

That’s the blueprint for Lent. Wherever you are, return to the Lord. Fasting, sorrow, and mourning for your sins are the method by which you do that.

Rending your hearts means true contrition and repentance. Always be mindful of the mercy of God, how gracious He is to those who come back to Him.

He is merciful, meaning He knows your weaknesses and knows the deep down reasons for your sinning. His grace flows into strengthening you for the battle.

Make this a good Lent. Go to Confession often. Maybe it’ll become a habit that you’ll keep for the rest of the year. Somewhere Pope St. John Paul II said that Catholics who wish to grow in holiness should go to Confession at least once a month. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Stephen and St. Paul: united in Heaven

Posted on by

I’ve always loved this passage from the Second Reading of the Divine Office for the Feast of St. Stephen, Protomartyr:

From a sermon by Saint Fulgentius of Ruspe, bishop:

Now at last, Paul rejoices with Stephen, with Stephen he delights in the glory of Christ, with Stephen he exalts, with Stephen he reigns. Stephen went first, slain by the stones thrown by Paul, but Paul followed after, helped by the prayer of Stephen. This, surely, is the true life, my brothers, a life in which Paul feels no shame because of Stephen’s death, and Stephen delights in Paul’s companionship, for love fills them both with joy. It was Stephen’s love that prevailed over the cruelty of the mob, and it was Paul’s love that covered the multitude of his sins; it was love that won for both of them the kingdom of heaven.

It is probably my second favorite reading, right behind the one from Holy Saturday (‘Something strange is happening – there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silence because the King is asleep.”)

I particularly enjoy the one from today’s Office because it convincingly states one aspect of Heaven: enemies forget their animosity or hostility and are united in fraternal love. Now, St. Stephen didn’t hate St. Paul while the two were living; there’s no record they ever actually met. Even if they did, Paul (then named Saul) was just one of the good number of Pharisees who opposed and tried to silence Stephen. But the lesson is there: Paul hated Stephen and this contributed to Stephen’s death. But now they are joined in Heaven. What caused their differences on Earth now unites them in Heaven.

Something that provides a great comfort for all of us down here. Given our past alcoholic and addictive behavior, we have compiled quite a list of people who hold us in less than high regard. It is comforting to know that if we all make it to Heaven, all of that Earthy stuff is gone. Our actions are understood and forgiven, and nothing is left but love. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Vision of the Judgment Seat of God

Posted on by

In her diary, ‘Divine Mercy in my Soul,” St. Maria Faustina Kowalska writes of when she was given the gift of appearing before the judgement seat of God:

36 Once I was summoned to the judgment [seat] of God. I stood alone before the Lord. Jesus
appeared such as we know Him during His Passion. After a moment, His wounds
disappeared except for five, those in His hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the
complete condition of my soul as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is displeasing to
God. I did not know that even the smallest transgressions will have to be accounted for.
What a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked
me, Who are you? I answered, “I am Your servant, Lord.” You are guilty of one day of
fire in purgatory. I wanted to throw myself immediately into the flames of
purgatory, but Jesus stopped me and said, Which do you prefer, suffer now for one
day in purgatory or for a short while on earth? I replied, “Jesus, I want to suffer in
purgatory, and I want to suffer also the greatest pains on earth, even if it were until the end
of the world.” Jesus said, One [of the two] is enough; you will go back to earth, and
there you will suffer much, but not for long; you will accomplish My will and My
desires, and a faithful servant of Mine will help you to do this. Now, rest your head
on My bosom, on My heart, and draw from it strength and power for these
sufferings, because you will find neither relief nor help nor comfort anywhere else.
Know that you will have much, much to suffer, but don’t let this frighten you; I am
with you.

What a gift! To be given this opportunity before one dies to see yourself as God see you. Fully transparent, everything exposed in the light of God’s Justice. An opportunity to see ALL of your sins, flaws, faults, and “character defects,” and still have the time to do something about them.

NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

How St. Rita can help those of us in recovery

Posted on by

St. Rita, whose feast day is today, May 22nd, is the patroness of ‘impossible cases,’ as well as women in abusive marriages, mothers and those with serious illnesses and especially of wounds. A lot of that is appropriate for anyone in recovery, since we’ve experienced abuse and have given it, as well as succumbing to various illnesses. But there’s some more stuff thay I gleaned from reading a biography on her. (St. Rita: Saint of the Impossible)

In the opening chapters of her life, the words “humility and patience” kept being repeated. They were her tools to deal with many things afflicting her: her parents’ refusal to allow her to enter a convent, her abusive husband (and these tools were critical in converting him into being the model of a devoted husband,) her children who were intent on fulfilling a vendetta against her husband’s murderers, and her later illnesses in religious life.

Although her children were still intent on making good on the vendetta, out of fear for their immortal soul she prayed that God would either convert them or take them from life before they committed the mortal sin of murder. They died before they accomplished their task. That is interesting: how many would implore God to take their children’s lives to prevent a mortal sin? Rita was more concerned for her son’s immortal lives that their temporal existence. That is love; sacrificial love.

Her husband was afflicted with passions. I’m talking about explosive tempers, violent behavior, and riotous living. Those of us who are alcoholics and addicts can relate: even though we may not exhibit the abuse that her husband Paolo Mancini did, we often lack what is called ’emotional sobriety.’ We are ‘dry drunks’ from time to time or we otherwise display behavior ‘not quite serene’. We can ask St. Rita for help in this regard.

Passions, and our lack of control over them, can lead to other problems, such as being governed by anxiety and fear. Although anxiety and fear may be prudent feelings nowadays, we should not allow them to control us to the point of affecting our relations with other people as well as our own duties.

So, St. Rita has a lot to offer people in recovery. Apart from her traditional clients, her spirituality is one that can be of tremendous use for addicts and alcoholics in coping with the common travails of life.

So, look into her life. See about getting the book I linked to up above. I will soon post a list of resources on her life as well as on devotions to her.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Divine Mercy Sunday 2021

Posted on by

Divine Mercy Sunday is upon us. This is one of my favorite Sundays since the Divine Mercy devotion was instrumental in my reversion to the Church, but also due to the promises of Our Lord towards those who approach Him with sincere repentance and contrition in wiping away their sins.

I have always viewed Divine Mercy Sunday as a metaphorical ocean of the Precious Blood of Jesus, bottomless, with the shore off an infinite distance. And I dive into it, covering myself in His Blood and seeing my sins washed away.

I’ve blogged about this day before, so please read this post: Divine Mercy Sunday, and also this one: Divine Mercy Sunday: a Great Day for those who’ve really messed things up.

Here is another great resource on the holiday from the Marians: Divine Mercy FAQs

I do hope that you can avail yourself of this incredible example of the Divine Love for each one of us.I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Emergency Fatima Novena!!!

Posted on by

There seems to be numerous novenas at this time of year. That is possibly just my imagination, but nevertheless today begins another novena. This one is to Our Lady of Fatima for the commemoration of the Miracle of the Sun Apparition on October 13, 1917. I know that the typical Fatima novena  celebrates the first apparition on May 13th, but in light of “everything that is going on,” from pandemics to presidential elections and threats of war and economic depression, as well as the ever-looming threat of religious persecution in areas not used to such things, I thought that it would be a great idea to have what I am calling an “Emergency Fatima Novena.”

You can say whatever prayers you’d like; you can do an online search for “Fatima Novena” and pick one that’s preferable or just grab a Rosary and say an extra one every day for the intentions of Our Lady of Fatima. But my “Emergency Novena” will consist of these intentions, which may sound strange or unconventional, but in light of how 2020 has been, I think quite reasonable. So here goes, my intentions and the explanations or reasons for them:

  • Peace
  • Reparation
  • Conversion of Russia
  • Magnificat Option
  • End to the Pandemic

OK. The first one, PEACE. At Fatima Our Lady promised there would be peace if we heeded her warnings. There wasn’t, and WWII happened with the Cold War following right after. Now I am not requesting ‘peace’ as in the absence of war, but that a just peace be established wherein every nation sees no need for aggressive action against another; no nation sees the need to establish global domination and all of the arrogance and conceit that have plagued nation-states for centuries. One reason why I am starting this Novena today, so that it ends on October 13th, is that today (October 5th) is also the feast day of St. Faustina Kowalska, the “Apostle of Divine Mercy.” Pope Francis elevated her feast day to the General Roman Calendar earlier this year. I think it’s placement is significant. St. Faustina reported Our Lord’s words that “Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy.” (Diary, paragraph 300)  I may read too much into coincidences, but with St. Faustina dying on the day she did, with her eventual canonization elevating that day to a spot on the Church calendar, it’s significant in connecting the Divine Mercy Message to the Fatima Message. Taking coincidences one step further, we have St. Maximilian Marian Kolbe being referred to as the “Prophet of the Civilization of Love” in the approved private litany to him. He established his Militia of the Immaculata for the express purpose of ushering in an eventual “era of peace” when everyone would be consecrated to Our Lady and the world is united under the banners of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Such a world is one founded upon peace, the kind of peace that can only be found in the universal acceptance of the Gospel. And while I’m referring to coincidences, the fact that St. Maximilian founded the M.I. only three days after the Miracle of the Sun apparition is something that cannot be ignored. (I know of no source which tells us that St. Maximilian was aware of the Fatima Apparition. Not too surprising, given the state of communications of that era, that Europe was convulsed in WWI, and how slow the news of the Apparition spread. It really did not become too well known until after WWII. But that doesn’t matter. God works through us, and we may not be aware of how our apostolic work may be done in coordination with another’s.) Taking this back to the Fatima Message where Our Lady promised a period of peace, and we can see the connections between the Divine Mercy and Fatima Messages, as well as St. Maximilian’s work. Please bear in mind that this “era of peace” has nothing to do with certain periods of peace referred to by many heretical prophecies (I think they’re called “millenarian,” and are popular in Christian Evangelical circles as well as some Catholics who are not grounded in Church Tradition. This isn’t a literal 1,000 years of peace where Jesus rules until the Antichrist, or whatever. It is just ‘a period of peace’ of an undetermined length.)

So, to tie all that in, my “Peace” intentions are just for, by however Our Lord and Our Lady intends, the relaxation or elimination of all threats to the global order; that the nation-states of the world realize that their ultimate security will lie in not threatening the security of other nations. Naive? Yes, but I’ve always held that if the world was as naive as I can be at times, it would be much better off. 😉  If there is a Divine intervention of some kind (popularly referred to in Catholic prophetic circles as a “Warning,” “Illumination,” or “Chastisement,” who can say? I’ll leave the details up to Jesus and Mary.)

Next up: Reparation. This is obvious. We pray and make reparation for the sins against the Blessed Virgin Mary, for sins of impurity and blasphemies against Our Lord. There is plenty of all that going on every day and almost everywhere. From the vandalization of statues and churches, to sexualizing children, to normalizing sexual perversity and deviancy, to blaspheming Jesus in the propagating of false doctrine by “Catholic” priests and bishops; there’s more than enough sinning going on that dwarfs that which happened in the time of Noah or just before Our Lord’s Incarnation. How the Divine hand has been restrained only bespeaks of the power of prayer and reparation, but it is only a matter of time before the Father takes action.

OK, now the Conversion of Russia. Yes, I know that since the overthrow of Communism when the USSR collapsed in 1991 there has been a flowering and revival of Orthodox Christianity in that land. And yes, I know that Russia was consecrated to Our Lady’s Immaculate Heart in 1984. But Orthodox Christianity is still schismatic (they do not recognize the authority of the Pope over their Churches.) I pray that “by however Our Lord and Our Lady intends,” that Eastern Orthodoxy, including especially the Russian Orthodox Church, comes into communion with Rome.

Next, the Magnificat Option. There are Options galore in today’s Catholicism. There’s the Benedict Option, the Dorothy Option, the Hobbit Option, and who  knows what else. I came up with the “Magnificat Option” in a post on my Facebook.

In the Magnificat, we hear Mary pray,

He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation. 
He has shown the strength of his arm, 
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.

He has cast down the mighty from their thrones, 
and has lifted up the lowly. 
He has filled the hungry with good things, 
and the rich he has sent away empty.

That, my readers, is the core of the Magnificat Option. That God , by however He intends,” shows His mighty strength and humbles the proud that currently govern our world, be they Presidents, Presidential candidates, Prime Ministers, globalists, banksters, and neocons, endless-war profiteers, and the elites who pervert our culture.

Last up, for the end to the pandemic. No need to explain.I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Michael’s Lent 2020

Posted on by

NOTE: Reblogged from last year, which itself was a reblog from the previous year and edited with some additions.)

Coming up on August 15th is the Solemnity of the Assumption of Our Lady. It is also the beginning of a Franciscan devotion known as “St. Michael’s Lent.” It is a 40-day period of fasting begun by St. Francis of Assisi in the 1220’s similar in practice to the actual Lenten season. It ends September 29th on the feast of St. Michael the Archangel. It was during one of these fasts in 1224 that St. Francis received the stigmata.

I looked up this observance online, didn’t find much beyond what I stated above (the following is from an informative webpage that I referred a few years ago but is now a broken link.) “‘In the writings of St. Francis, such as the Volterra text (Letter to All the Faithful) which is included in The Rule of the SFO, we are reminded again and again that Franciscans are called to be penitents, to pray and fast. For these reasons this ancient tradition is important to us. St. Michael’s Lent is a period of 40 days, honoring Mary and St. Michael the Archangel. It begins on the Feast of the Assumption and ends on The Feast of the Archangels.

“[H]e wished along with the most faithful Brothers . . . to celebrate the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin (August 15) and then prepare himself by a forty days’ fast for the Feast of St. Michael (September 29). In common with the rest of the people of the Middle Ages, Francis nourished a special devotion to this Archangel, signifer santus Michaelis, the standard-bearer of the Heavenly Host, and the one who with his trumpet was to wake the dead in their graves on the last day . . . .” (St. Francis of Assisi by Jorgensen)’”

(Via Our Lady of the Pearl.) Perhaps the keepers of that site can resurrect that page?

You can just observe a fast of sorts (food or bad habit/character defect, etc.) and whatever other penitential practices you can think of.

Fr. Richard Heilman of the Roman Catholic Man site has posted some very useful devotions that you can use throughout this ‘season.’ Please go here: St. Michael’s Lent Prayers and Devotions

I do believe that it is significant that this period begins and ends when it does. The Solemnity of the Assumption is observed because as Mary was preserved from Original Sin in her conception, she was bodily assumed into Heaven when her mortal period of time on Earth was over, thus preserving her from the corruption of death. St. Michael was the champion and leader of the blessed angels in their battle against Lucifer and his demons in the Fall of the Angels, and in his victory cast Satan out of Heaven. We can gain strength from this observance in our struggles against drinking and drugging, and especially against sins of impurity. Instead of fasting from food, one can “fast” our eyes from images that can trigger lust. It is summertime, and people have the habit of wearing little clothing. Fasting with your eyes means turning your gaze away from provactively dressed people. If you are anxious and stressed about material things and current events (and what isn’t stressful nowadays?) You can perhaps “fast” from anxiety. Turn the news off; avoid news websites for a few days. I vanish from the Internet for several days at a time, or at least from social networks. Easier said than done, but such actions are possible. The world will thrive or suffer just as well with or without your attention! No wonder Satan uses impurity and addictions and fear in his ongoing war against those made in the image and likeness of God.

So, go back and grab your Lenten devotional books and whatever else; read, study and meditate on the Passion narratives in the Gospels, perhaps even try and read the Daily Mass readings from the past Lent (available on the USCCB site, just use the Calendar to navigate back to Lent). If I may, there’s always Sober Catholic’s Lenten post archive Or just use Fr. Heilman’s material I linked to above.

(Just in case anyone counts the number of days from Aug. 15 to Sept. 29, you’ll get “46.” Don’t count the six Sundays that occur and you’ll get the forty. Sundays aren’t considered a part of any Lenten observance.)I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Martyrdom of Peter and Paul

Posted on by

Today is the Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul. Peter was the ‘Rock’ upon which Christ built His Church and served as Her first Pope; and Paul, becoming the Apostle to the Gentile nations.

Both serve as guides to our Faith; Peter, being that first Pope, can symbolize fidelity to Her traditions, apostolic authority and the unity of Her teachings. Paul can symbolize evangelical zeal and utter devotion to spreading the Gospel regardless of the physical or material cost. He loved Christ so much that “it was no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” Paul directly received the Gospel from Our Lord, possibly during the three days he was disabled in Damascus. This establishes that Paul’s message was actually Jesus’. (So much the contention that “Jesus never said anything about insert favorite depravity here in the Gospel.” Yes, He did; through Paul.)

The two bear witness to Christ and His mercy. Peter denied Christ three times on Holy Thursday and was forgiven when asked three times by Jesus before His Ascension “Do you love me…. feed my sheep, etc.” Paul was forgiven despite being the biggest persecutor of the Early Christians.

Despite theses deep failings, Jesus still used them to establish His Church and expand it throughout the world.

Always hope for us, who deny Christ far more often than Peter did in a day; and Paul, in tacitly abetting in the persecution of the Church by not standing up to it.I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus

Posted on by

Today is the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. It is an old and extremely popular devotion; although it has faded somewhat during the 20th century, it appears to me to be reviving. Some have said that the Divine Mercy Devotion is a ’reboot’ of the Sacred Heart Devotion; a close comparison reveals much similarities and

It is concerned with the intense and overwhelming love that Jesus Christ has for humanity, so much so that He gave Himself up for us as a propitiatory sacrifice for our sins and remains with us today in the Real Presence of the Blessed Sacrament. A component of the devotion is our love for Him in return, a love that has reparative aspects as we love and offer sacrifices to Him on behalf of this that do not love Him (or know of His love.) More-so, the reparative elements are in light of blasphemies, sacrileges and other sins of hate against Our Lord. We love Him in return for His love for us, and our love makes up for the lack of love others have for Him, often manifesting in acts of hate.

The devotion began in the 17th Century when Our Lord appeared to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, an Augustinian nun renowned for her piety and incredible humility. He grieved over the growing coldness of human hearts toward Him and in His love and Divine Mercy. Much of this coldness arose as a result of the heresy of Jansenism, which essentially teaches that God is harsh and judgmental, and few are saved since humanity is so depraved and evil due to sin. For some reason Jansenism became very popular in Europe, particularly in France. I think Calvinism was happier.

I looked up Jansenism in the Catholic Encyclopedia; apparently Jansenism arose from a text written by Archbishop Cornelius Jansen of Ypres, Belgium, that wasn’t published until some time after his death. He, himself, appears to have died in the graces of the Church and allegedly wrote a testament submitted his work to the judgment of the Church. His executor unsuccessfully tried to suppress the work, he failed and copies of it were published and distributed widely, attracting devotees. You can read all of that here and decide for yourself: Jansenius and Jansenism

I have links in the sidebar regarding the Sacred Heart Devotion; I’ve also written about it here: Sacred Heart Post Archives. Last year’s post on the Sacred Heart Solemnity was really great! :-)I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A sudden inspiration regarding forgiveness

Posted on by

While praying this morning a sudden thought occurred to me regarding the concept of forgiveness. I do not recall by now where I was in my Morning Prayers and what triggered the thought. It doesn’t matter, really.

I have struggled with forgiveness quite a lot over the years; what it means, do you ‘feel anything,’ does it ‘take’ or do you have to forgive the aggressors or antagonists again and again if the feelings and resentments still oppress you.

My struggles with forgiveness stem primarily from the treatment that I was subjected to by my blood family, mostly siblings, in the aftermath of my Mom’s death in 2005. I won’t go into details about what they did, but it all made me consider suicide. I actually drove about my home county looking for a cliff or ravine I could drive off. I don’t recall why I settled upon that method of demise, but I was spared by a phone call from my pastor which alleviated some core issues.

So, back to the topic of forgiveness. Simply, what is it and what does it mean? Simply put, in my inspiration this morning, it means that…

…you no longer desire for those who have trespassed against you to be punished for their crimes. 

That’s it. No vengeance against them, no reconciliation with them, no alleviation or elimination of your feelings or resentments, no psychological process to cut off your emotional connection to the events that caused you suffering (nice, if you can do that and it works, but not necessary) no desiring their eternal damnation or even considerable time in Purgatory. You simply do not want them to suffer punishment for their actions against you.

That’s all. They wronged you, they hurt you even to the point of despair and possible suicide, and whatever else… it is no matter. Despite what they did, you just do not desire them to suffer for their crimes. At all.

Perhaps they’ll be punished for it someday. But you won’t be the agent of it, for be assured that God knows what they did and unless they repent and have remorse for their actions they will suffer for it.

Romans 12:19 “Do not defend yourselves, dearest ones. Instead, step aside from wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is mine. I shall give retribution, says the Lord.””

Luke 11:4 “And forgive us our sins, since we also forgive all who are indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation.”

Courtesy: Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

We see from those two Scripture passages that vengeance is reserved to the Lord alone and that our sins are forgiven if we forgive those who have sinned against us. Want forgiveness? Be forgiving. Leave it up to God what to do about those who have harmed you.

As a concluding note: Perhaps they can even let you know in some way that they’re sorry, and would like to make amends. That would be nice. An email, message through Facebook, an actual snail mail letter. Whatever. Some satisfaction, assuming they’re humble and compassionate enough to reach out to you. “I’m sorry, Paul, for hurting you so much. I’m sorry I made your grief worse; that what we did to you was like rubbing salt in a fresh wound. I’m sorry for driving you to consider suicide. I’m sorry for not coming to your aid against the one who was primarily responsible for your pain and despair. I’m sorry for not being there. I’m sorry you were so alone and abandoned…” Yeah, that would be nice. Don’t hang too many hopes on it happening, it may be best to just let it go.

I looked up “Forgiveness” in the search engine for this blog, found many posts but these seemed most interesting for today:

Reconciliation and Forgiveness

Forgiveness and the Adversary

Or there’s the post archive (warning, there IS A LOT): Forgiveness post archives I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)