Category Archives: Forgiveness

Try and make amends before it’s too late

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I blogged earlier about an online friend’s sudden death.

Given the nature of Sober Catholic, I will offer an exhortation to those who have yet to make amends to people they need to (or have to). Do so, for the time will come when they will die and the opportunity will be lost.

I understand perfectly well the resistance to approaching people and trying to make up for the damage done while drinking or drugging. Sometimes it is not possible as trying to will only do more harm than good. Use your conscience or speak with a sponsor or bring it up at a meeting, if needed.

But at least consider the possibility that they person may not be around when you finally decide to repair the relationship.

NOTE: The lady who died wasn’t someone with whom I needed to make an amends. Her death was sudden, and that is what prompted these posts.

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My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Faustina and Divine Mercy

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October 5th is the Feast of St. Faustina Kowalska. She is the “Apostle of Divine Mercy” and for several years prior to her death in 1938 had received interior locutions from Jesus and the Blessed Virgin Mary. The Lord commanded her to write her experiences. The resulting book, “Divine Mercy in My Soul” is a modern day classic of Catholic spirituality and mysticism. As with all such Church-approved things, there is nothing in her Diary that adds anything “new” to divine revelation. Like similar matters, it serves to exhort us to do things we already should be doing but have strayed from. It is a spiritual autobiography detailing her life from her youth through to just before her death, a wonderful description of a life lived according to the Will of God.

The Diary also serves as the primary means by which the devotion to “Divine Mercy” spreads. The devotion consists mainly of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy prayers and Novena, the Diary, Divine Mercy Sunday (which is the Second Sunday of Easter), Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. Jesus desired that this devotion be established and made known to prepare humankind for His Second Coming, as well as to encourage humanity to repent and return to God.

The Diary beautifully describes the love and mercy of God. I feel it is a text that every sober Catholic should have. It often serves to lift my spirits in ways other books do not (save for the Gospels.) When I read it I feel like it is a long, soothing letter of comfort, consoling me when times are difficult.

St. Faustina is a classic case how how the Lord selects the poor and marginalized of society, the uneducated and lowly, to carry out His work.

1 Corinthians 1:27 “But God has chosen the foolish of the world, so that he may confound the wise. And God has chosen the weak of the world, so that he may confound the strong.

And God has chosen the ignoble and contemptible of the world, those who are nothing, so that he may reduce to nothing those who are something.”
via: The Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

Here is a quick biography of her: St. Faustina bio.

You can buy the Diary at this link, as well as other related items. I get NO commission on any sale, this is just a service of mine. If think you’ll benefit, then here’s where you can get it! This is a link to an “official” gift shop.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Rogation Days

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There is a pious Catholic practice I recently became aware of, even though it is over a millennia old. It is the service of the “Rogation Days,” which takes place annually on the Feast of St. Mark (the Gospel writer) on April 25th, and on the Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday preceding Ascension Thursday. I missed the April 25th observance this year.

It is normally done in a church, but is rare nowadays as it was dropped from the Liturgical calendar in 1970; it is now only practiced in those parishes that celebrate the Extraordinary Form of the Mass an its accompanying calendar (and even then, I’m not sure how common it is…)

From the “Catholic Rural Life Prayer Book,”

“The word “rogation” comes from the Latin word “rogare” meaning “to ask.”
The three Rogation Days are over 1,500 years old. They began in the fifth
century at Vienne, France, when, in the year 470, there had been crop
failures–due to earthquakes and bad weather–with resulting great food
scarcity and destitution. St. Mamertus, bishop of Vienne, ordered a triduum
of prayer and penance on the three days preceding the Ascension. The clergy
and the people made penitential processions calling upon God to help and
asking the intercession of His saints.

…

The purpose of the Rogation Days’ service is to implore the mercy of God
that He may keep us from all evils of soul and body, and give to the plants
of the field an increase. In the spring, when the fields are becoming green
and there is promise of a good harvest–but also the possibility of
destruction through frost, hail, or rainstorms–the prayers and processions
are a reminder to feeble man to turn with humility and confidence to the
Giver of all good. For, it is not the earth alone which brings forth fruit,
and not alone the busy hand of man on which the increase depends; but it is
God who gives the increase.”

The words I emboldened give you an idea as to why I’m making it known to you. Although as a pious practice it traditionally is a fixture in rural communities, I think it can be applied for people in addiction recovery. It’s a stretch, but “to implore the mercy of God that He may keep us from all evils of soul and body” is a worthwhile use of this devotion for us alcoholics. The parts referring to “growing things” is… well, I frequently suggest that readers “go outside to get outside” of yourself. Outdoors is where you can meet and get to know God through the study and observance of His works. (The best place is, of course inside a church, at Mass or in front of te Blessed Sacrament) but being amongst His creation is good, too.

I am not sure exactly how the Rogation Days can be practiced at home if they aren’t observed in a parish near you; I do have a copy of the “Rural Life Prayer Book” and am going to just prayerfully read the section on the Rogation Days and go from there, adapting as best I can. You can obtain a print copy for yourself here: Catholic Rural Life Store .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

repentance posting

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OK, I did it again! Although I didn’t formally announce it, I sort of strongly implied that I’d be blogging daily during Lent. I actually may have come out and said it, I don’t remember.

Well, no posts these past two days. {{{sigh}}}

(The “I did it again!” refers to my annual Lenten pledge to blog daily, and then failing to do so. It’s been done once, maybe twice. Probably once.)

Well, I’m not going to beat myself up over it; I will just resolve to get back up and proceed onward. And that is a lesson for all of us sinners. We repent and confess our sins; we relapse and sin again. Do we quit with the repentance and confession? After all, we’re probably just going to do it again! Of course not! Even though we will probably commit the same sins, or even new ones, we still pick our sorry selves back up and repent and confess. As long as it takes (which will probably be the rest of our lives).

This separates the saints from those who are not. Saints ALWAYS pick themselves back up and resume.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Do not deal with us according to our sins

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The refrain from the Responsorial Psalm from today’s Mass for Monday of the Second Week of Lent is “Lord, do not deal with us according to our sins.”

See: Monday of the Second Week in Lent.

Be grateful that we have a merciful and loving Father who will not “deal with us according to our sins”, if we ask forgiveness and repent.

Lent is that time where we focus on repenting of our sins and turning closer to the Lord. Like we hear on Ash Wednesday, “Repent and belive in the Gospel,” the formula is right there. Repent, and believe in the Good News of Jesus Christ. Believe in the Gospel, don’t just read it. Live it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Forgive us our trespasses

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Have people wronged you? Have you wronged others? Of course, you cannot go through life without experiencing either event. As much as we are loath to admit it, we have screwed over quite a lot of people over the decades of our lives.

We can ask forgiveness. If it is not possible to seek forgiveness of those we have harmed, we can still go straight to God.

However, there’s a catch. In order for our sins to be forgiven, it is contingent upon our forgiving others for actions committed against us. We cannot expect to be forgiven if we do not extend that to others.

It’s hard. Sometimes we feel that in not forgiving we are not surrendering to those who have harmed us; that in not “letting go” we are still binding them to our pain and grief. Fact is, they’ve likely moved on and have forgotten the incident, or worse, don’t care. So in holding onto the resentment, we are in fact letting them continue to defeat us, without their ever doing anything.

So, forgive. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. You needn’t seek out the person and make up. It might be nice, but it is not always desireable. Some relationships are best left in the past.

But you can cut the ties that bind you to the emotions of the thing they did to you. You can forgive them and finally “let it go.”

The Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Matthew, from today’s Mass on the Tuesday of the First Week of Lent:

And when praying, do not choose many words, as the pagans do. For they think that by their excess of words they might be heeded.

Therefore, do not choose to imitate them. For your Father knows what your needs may be, even before you ask him.

Therefore, you shall pray in this way: Our Father, who is in heaven: May your name be kept holy.

May your kingdom come. May your will be done, as in heaven, so also on earth.

Give us this day our life-sustaining bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation. But free us from evil. Amen.

For if you will forgive men their sins, your heavenly Father also will forgive you your offenses.

But if you will not forgive men, neither will your Father forgive you your sins.

via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.

Recite the prayer, slowly and prayerfully. Especially the last few lines on forgiveness.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A broken and contrite heart

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An excerpt from the Responsorial Psalm in today’s Mass for the Friday after Ash Wednesday:

Psalm 51:19

“A crushed spirit is a sacrifice to God. A contrite and humbled heart, O God, you will not spurn.”

via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.

A crushed spirit is the person who is aware of their sins, is wounded by them and who has demonstrated sincere humility in desiring to repent of them.

Offer up the pain of your remorse and your dread of being separated from God by the sins. Lift up your heart and soul and pray for forgiveness. If you do a thorough (“fearless and searching”) examination of conscience you can often get through to the root of repeated and consistent sins. Go to Confession frequently throughout Lent to aid in ridding yourself of the root causes of sin.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Onesimus

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February 16th is the feast day of a somewhat obscure Saint, which is odd as he figures prominently in a Letter of St. Paul.

In St. Paul’s Letter to Philemon, the Apostle reveals that Onesimus, a slave of Philemon who escaped, possibly with stolen property of his master’s, has been with him for some time and has been of valuable service. Onesimus has also been baptized and as such is now a brother in Christ to Paul and Philemon, as the latter is also a Christian. However Paul is convinced that due to the Christian charity that Philemon has shown in the past, he will take back Onesimus and greet him as a brother, equal in dignity and will not punish Onesimus or re-enslave him.

And so Onesimus is sent back to Philemon by Paul, with this Letter as a sort of greeting and passage.

I’ve always been intrigued by this. Imagine you’re Onesimus. You’ve been a slave. There must have been a reason why you escaped. Was Philemon cruel? Or did you just have an instinctive aversion to being considered property of another? You just saw an opportunity to leave and took it? Anyway, the punishment for escaped slaves was most likely death. Probably painful and not quick if you’re also guilty of theft. And now your new friend, whom you’ve been serving and who has treated you like an equal, a person, is sending you back to your old master. With full confidence that Philemon’s Christianity is all that is standing between you and a painful termination.

Would you want to return?

I didn’t think so. Me neither.

But Onesimus did. He probably did not go willingly, but apparently his faith in the Gospel of Jesus that Paul preached was enough to convince him that it is the right thing to do. So Onesimus’ faith overcame his possible very strong natural lack of inclination to return.

I think for that reason St. Onesimus should be of interest to alcoholics and addicts. Not that he was one, but we all do not want to do the things that we have to. Our addictive personality may make this disinclination stronger in us than in most people. “Normal” people can overcome unwillingness seemingly by just going ahead and doing the thing. But we have to use our spiritual toolkit to convince ourselves to “get going” and do the thing. We have our daily meditations, slogans and other aids to get us to do things that other people just do.

St. Onesimus can be our aid in this. Although I don’t think he is the patron saint of anything, he should be the Patron Saint of People Who Really Do Not Want to Do the Things That They Really Have to Do. ( I have to find a shorter, catchier term. “Patron Saint for People Who need Courage?” Still rather long…)

Read more on Saint Onesimus at SQPN.

Onesimus

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Death! Where is your sting?

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NOTE: this post is a version slightly edited from The Four Last Things. “O death! You separate those who are joined to each other in marriage. You harshly and cruelly divide those whom friendship unites. But your power is broken. Your heinous yoke has been destroyed by the One who sternly threatened you when Hosea cried out: O Death! I shall be your death. And with the words of the apostle we, too, deride you: O death! Where is your victory? O death! Where is your sting!

Your conqueror redeemed us. He handed himself over to wicked men so that he could transform the wicked into persons who were truly dear to him.” – St. Braulio, Bishop.

The above is from the Office of Readings in the Office of the Dead from the Liturgy of the Hours. I said that this morning instead of the usual Divine Office as today is the ninth anniversary of my Mom’s death.

I still haven’t gotten completely over it. Who really does “get over” death? Perhaps some unfortunates.

I posted the above quote from St. Braulio to give comfort and to remind you that there is hope in the Resurrection. I also post it to remind those that harbor resentments that the clock is ticking. Once people are gone, they’re gone. Amends can no longer be made.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Set things right

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This excerpt of the First Reading from today’s Mass for Tuesday of the Second Week of Lent is from Isaiah 1:18

Come now, let us set things right,says the LORD. Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow; Though they be crimson red, they may become white as wool.

via USCCB.

The Sacrament of Confession is how you can “set things right” with the Lord. No matter how serious your sins are, no matter what you have done, forgiveness is always available from God. Go to Confession soon, it can save your soul. There is NO SIN that God cannot forgive!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)