Category Archives: Grace

Ash Wednesday 2023

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Since this blog is about “Conversion, Prayer, Fasting, Repentance, and Penance,” amongst other things, Lent is a natural time to blog a lot since those ‘abouts’ correspond to the season. I have often in previous Lents blogged daily, or at least a few times a week, taking inspiration from the daily Mass readings or the Divine Office. I might try that this year, but don’t hold your breath. I know I’ve done it throughout the season several times, tried and fell short a few other times, and didn’t even make the attempt in many years. 2023? Who can say? Anyway, here goes this one for today, Ash Wednesday.

In this excerpt from the First Reading for the Mass for today, the Old Testament prophet Joel says:

(Joel 2:12-14)

Even now, says the LORD,

return to me with your whole heart,

with fasting, and weeping, and mourning;

Rend your hearts, not your garments,

and return to the LORD, your God.

For gracious and merciful is he,

slow to anger, rich in kindness,

and relenting in punishment.

Perhaps he will again relent

and leave behind him a blessing,

Offerings and libations

for the LORD, your God.

That’s the blueprint for Lent. Wherever you are, return to the Lord. Fasting, sorrow, and mourning for your sins are the method by which you do that.

Rending your hearts means true contrition and repentance. Always be mindful of the mercy of God, how gracious He is to those who come back to Him.

He is merciful, meaning He knows your weaknesses and knows the deep down reasons for your sinning. His grace flows into strengthening you for the battle.

Make this a good Lent. Go to Confession often. Maybe it’ll become a habit that you’ll keep for the rest of the year. Somewhere Pope St. John Paul II said that Catholics who wish to grow in holiness should go to Confession at least once a month. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Through Nothing to the Infinite: How an Atheist Lead me to God

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An atheist leads me towards belief in God during a tumultuous time in my life through his use of vivid storytelling within a deeply imaginative universe.

It begs the question of, “How can a non-believer help someone to believe?” 

Saints and spiritual writers often say that God can bring good out of evil. Evil is not just found in such actions as abortion, genocide, or slavery, but when any personal will opposes the Divine, however minor the act is. Atheism is that kind, ranging from mere unthinking disbelief to the more militant. God wills us to know and love him; atheists reject that will. I am not sure where in that range J. Michael Straczynski, the creator of the 1990s sci-fi TV show, “Babylon 5,” falls. He had a Catholic background but strayed from belief somewhere along the way. One episode of his “Babylon 5” drilled me to the floor with its consideration of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. “Passing Through Gethsemane” (S3E4) made me look at Christ’s Agony in the Garden from a perspective that treated it not as some pious event memorialized in the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, but a reality to enter into so as to ponder how your actions might manifest themselves.

Straczynski is an atheist, yet he treated religious belief with a respect at variance with today’s atheists. He regarded religion as being part of the human condition serving as an excellent vehicle to explore it.

In “Passing Through Gethsemane,” a guest character, Brother Edward, (played by Brad Dourif,) is a monk dwelling on Babylon 5 with other members of his order. He has a past, which I won’t reveal for fear of spoiling the show. (Although the episode aired in 1995, streaming services enable new fans to discover the series regularly. If you already know Babylon 5, then you know about this episode.) In it, he is asked by Ambassador Delenn (played by Mira Furlan,) “What is the defining moment of your belief….the emotional core…?” Edward replies with the background on Gethsemane, and specifically that Jesus knew what was going to happen to him. In a moment of weakness, he prayed for the cup to pass from him, so he would be spared the pain of what was to come, including death. But of course, he wouldn’t be spared and he’d be arrested. Edward continues with an emphasis that Jesus didn’t have to be there when the soldiers arrived to arrest him, that he could have left and postponed the inevitable for a few hours or even days. But Jesus knew what would happen and stayed anyway. Brother Edward concludes that he honestly doesn’t know if he would have had the courage to stay.

BroEdward01

Brother Edward.

Courtesy: Babylon Project Fandom Wiki

When I first saw that episode, that latter part blew my mind. “Seriously,” I thought, “does anyone actually look at a Biblical event and personally connect it to their life? As in, what they might do if they were there and then build their faith life from that? Everyone thinks that if they were back in Jesus’ days they’d of course follow him unhesitatingly and would never be in the crowd screaming ‘Crucify him! Crucify him!’ But, to seriously meditate upon a specific event, dwell on it, and make it the ‘defining moment’ and the ‘emotional core’ of their faith life?”

Perhaps a digression into what my ‘emotional core’ was like at the time. I was ‘raised Catholic’ but left the Faith nearly ten years earlier. My prayers about some complicated desperate situations weren’t answered. I also coincidentally fell prey to some atheistic and libertarian science fiction novels that convinced me organized religion was a sham and a means of exercising mass control over the populace. So I left, and life immediately got better. So much for religion. (But I never became an atheist. I did flirt with libertarianism, though.) Flash forward to how I was when “Passing Through Gethsemane” aired and you’ll read a different story. Life had gotten progressively worse. I had relocated from across the country to escape some more complicated desperate situations (these had the habit of following me) and my ‘emotional core’ meant that drinking was defining my moments. Capt. Morgan and Jose Cuervo were my saviors; here I am being mind-struck by some monk wondering if he would have had the courage to stay in Gethsemane and await the soldiers to take him to his execution. Me, who defined courage by how skillfully I can smuggle bottles into the house.

You’re probably thinking that this TV episode changed my life right then and I found a priest, went to confession, and resumed participating in the life of the Church. No. Reversion was still a few years off. But seeds were planted that started growing, eventually bearing fruit later on.

The crux of this is that faith powers a spiritual life. What I learned from that episode, ironically written by an atheist, is that for faith to have meaning it has to grip you by the scruff of your neck, shake you up and down, and demand that it be lived and taken seriously. The kind of faith that inspires people to willingly sacrifice their lives, not the faux faith that attends Mass whenever they feel like it, or sets it aside when it proves inconvenient to their political or business choices. The latter kind is mental pablum designed to make you excuse your sins and feel good about yourself.

That was in marked contrast to the faith that I had. In the years before I left the Church, my Catholicism was broad but not deep. It couldn’t have done what Brother Edward did; intimately apply some event to my own life to create an emotional core that defined it. 

A faith that defines your emotional core such as what drove Brother Edward to contemplate his place in Gethsemane fosters the willingness to firmly plant your feet and say, “This is what I am about, regardless of the passing fancies of society or what the neighbor’s think. This is me, my self-defined ‘I AM.’” It confronts the crucial significance of belief and its consequences. This is the willingness to face down death; literal death or just those things which challenge you or can kill your soul. But perhaps more importantly, that drawing from this power and courage means you have the willingness to be a transformative force in the society around you in a manner best suited to your unique talents. 

That may have been what Brother Edward was wondering. Not only the literal, “If I was in Gethsemane, would I have…,” but in drawing from that would he have had the courage to face everything challenging him, both personal and external.

These are challenges everyone faces, and an atheist started me on the way.

NOTE: This post was intended for publication ‘professionally,’ as in for pay, but it kept getting rejected. I just posted it to my other blog, renamed Paul Sofranko Space. I thought that since it concerns conversion and spiritual growth, it should go here, too.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

16th Bloggaversary of Sober Catholic: How I stayed sober for almost 21 years

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Today marks the 16th Bloggaversary of Sober Catholic. In honor of that, I’ve edited and cleaned up a messy note I wrote who-knows-when on “The Sober Catholic Way.” It is a summary of everything I’ve been doing since I became sober on May 22, 2002. Some I do better than others. 

This was originally a long, 2,000ish word post. There was the summary you see in the next paragraph followed by a longer version that fleshed out the details. But then I decided this morning during a feeling-sorry-for-myself pity party that the longer version is itself a summary of an even much longer version that’s been lurking in my head for 15 or so years. That being a book on the topic of “The Sober Catholic Way of Sobriety.” Or something like that. I shall begin working on that right away. I do not know when it will be finished.

The summary of the ‘Sober Catholic Method’ or ‘Way’ or ‘whatver’ is:

Wow, that’s a long list, Paulcoholic? Isn’t a Twelve-Step program simpler? Yeah, maybe. But doing the above has kept this sick puppy sober for over 20 years and I knew that AA couldn’t. Some people demand happiness in this life and they find it often by avoiding suffering all costs and more and more turn to things which can only be called ‘addictions.’ Whether it is the typical alcohol or drugs, or an inordinate attraction to the self, or to the Internet and social media, or  to fandoms (pop culture things like TV franchises, movies, comics or other entertainment stuff.) Someone may not be an alcoholic or a drug addict, but I betcha they’re ‘addicted’ to something. You need a lot of tools to crowd all that stuff out or at least keeping them in their proper perspective is an attribute of the Sober Catholic Method. Or Way. Or whatever… 😉 So this all could be a wholistic approach to dealing with life in general and addictions in particular.

There are probably books or devotions that should be on there, but this my list. Yours may be slightly different. Anyone who takes a look at the list will arrive at the conclusion that it is simply a decent Catholic lifestyle. We are all supposed to go to Mass, Confession, and live the Gospel life which is learned by studying the Bible, Catechism, lives of the Saints and their teachings along with a few particular devotions to assist us on our way – to help us ‘stay on the beam.’ So be it. What makes it a ‘Sober Catholic Way?’ Life hasn’t been perfect for me nor am I a serene, happy saint-to-be. Life sucks at times, and I am often cranky and melancholic. But God never promises happiness and peace in this life. Only in the life to come. This should help me get there.

If you’ve appreciated this blog as well as this post, you can PayPalMe a non-tax deductible donation (my real name is Paul Sofranko, like the destination link says.) I will greatly appreciate every donation. (I do have plans for the money; plans to buy software which will help out in the production and marketing of self-published books. I figure that if I can raise sufficient funds through the kindness of strangers, then I’ll feel responsible and actually start working on the planned books. More on that later. )

 Or, you can just buy a lot of my books I’ve already done:

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Stephen and St. Paul: united in Heaven

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I’ve always loved this passage from the Second Reading of the Divine Office for the Feast of St. Stephen, Protomartyr:

From a sermon by Saint Fulgentius of Ruspe, bishop:

Now at last, Paul rejoices with Stephen, with Stephen he delights in the glory of Christ, with Stephen he exalts, with Stephen he reigns. Stephen went first, slain by the stones thrown by Paul, but Paul followed after, helped by the prayer of Stephen. This, surely, is the true life, my brothers, a life in which Paul feels no shame because of Stephen’s death, and Stephen delights in Paul’s companionship, for love fills them both with joy. It was Stephen’s love that prevailed over the cruelty of the mob, and it was Paul’s love that covered the multitude of his sins; it was love that won for both of them the kingdom of heaven.

It is probably my second favorite reading, right behind the one from Holy Saturday (‘Something strange is happening – there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silence because the King is asleep.”)

I particularly enjoy the one from today’s Office because it convincingly states one aspect of Heaven: enemies forget their animosity or hostility and are united in fraternal love. Now, St. Stephen didn’t hate St. Paul while the two were living; there’s no record they ever actually met. Even if they did, Paul (then named Saul) was just one of the good number of Pharisees who opposed and tried to silence Stephen. But the lesson is there: Paul hated Stephen and this contributed to Stephen’s death. But now they are joined in Heaven. What caused their differences on Earth now unites them in Heaven.

Something that provides a great comfort for all of us down here. Given our past alcoholic and addictive behavior, we have compiled quite a list of people who hold us in less than high regard. It is comforting to know that if we all make it to Heaven, all of that Earthy stuff is gone. Our actions are understood and forgiven, and nothing is left but love. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Our Lady of Sorrows

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September 15th is the the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. It honors the Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Virgin Mary, which are:

First Sorrow: The Prophecy of Simeon

Our Lady and St. Joseph took the child Jesus as was customary under Mosaic Law after her 40 days of purification were over. They were to offer their first born to God, as was also in accordance with the Law. They really did not need to do this, given Our Lady’s perpetual virginity as was as that Jesus is God; nevertheless they did so out of Holy Obedience. This is an interesting lesson for today’s Christians who feel they can flout religious observance, dogmas, and doctrines.

While there, Simeon, a holy man and prophet was was foretold by the Holy Spirit that he will not die until he saw the Messiah, for witness that Jesus was this Messiah. 

Luke 2:34-35 And Simeon blessed them, and he said to his mother Mary: “Behold, this one has been set for the ruin and for the resurrection of many in Israel, and as a sign which will be contradicted. And a sword will pass through your own soul, so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” 

Second Sorrow: The Flight into Egypt

Joseph is warned in a dream that Jesus’ life is in danger from Herod, who is intent on killing all males under the age of two based upon the testimony of the Magi from the East who were seeking the Messiah of the Jews. Threatened by this, he orders the murder of children in the area the holy Family is residing. Herod is an example of politicians and other elites who champion the cause of the pro-choice movement, i.e. the murder of unborn children through abortion. In many states of the USA this now includes ‘partial birth abortion’ and even the abortion of delivered babies. There’s a word for this: infanticide.

Matthew 2:13-18 And after they had gone away, behold, an Angel of the Lord appeared in sleep to Joseph, saying: “Rise up, and take the boy and his mother, and flee into Egypt. And remain there until I tell you. For it will happen that Herod will seek the boy to destroy him.”
And getting up, he took the boy and his mother by night, and withdrew into Egypt.
And he remained there, until the death of Herod, in order to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: “Out of Egypt, I called my son.”
Then Herod, seeing that he had been fooled by the Magi, was very angry. And so he sent to kill all the boys who were in Bethlehem, and in all its borders, from two years of age and under, according to the time that he had learned by questioning the Magi.
 Then what was spoken through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled, saying:
“A voice has been heard in Ramah, great weeping and wailing: Rachel crying for her sons. And she was not willing to be consoled, because they were no more.”

Another lesson from thins the plight of refugees and migrants. Today there are tens of millions of people who are displaced from their native lands because of war, poverty and oppression. Often they are unwelcome in the lands they end up in. Rather than ‘extending the table’ or ‘making room for guests,’ people propose to ‘build a wall!’ or otherwise spread hateful, ignorant lies about their character an intentions. But the globalist economic order and rising populist movements victimize and shun them.  The populists in Europe and North America are unfortunately ‘nativist’ in outlook, which is odd given that the migrants and refugees are the victims of the globalist order the populists object to; so these people should be allies.

Third Sorrow: The Loss of the Child Jesus in Jerusalem

The Holy Family went off to Jerusalem for religious celebrations and on the way back home they lost their son, who happens to be the Second Person of the Trinity, the Son of God the Father, and King of the Universe. I know this was a massive trauma for the Holy Family. You’re the Virgin Mother of God, you love your son more than anything in the universe; private revelations such as The Mystical City of God by the Venerable Mary of Agreda tell us that Mary knew who Jesus was from the moment of the Annunciation; that He had full use of His faculties and powers of reason from His conception; and they were intimately united in thought and feeling from that moment onward. Furthermore, she knew the type of death He was to experience. Her love for Him was so intense that she was literally a lifelong martyr for Him. And she lost this kid. Imagine her thoughts throughout all of this.

Now think of St. Joseph. He also knew who Jesus was. And you’re the guy God the Father picked to be the guardian and protector of the Lady bore His Son, as well as that Son. And you lost this kid.

There have been no parents alive before or since who were as freaked out as Mary and Joseph. You are a parent? You had issues with your children? Dysfunctional? The Holy Family can be your guide. While obviously not dysfunctional in the slightest, nevertheless they knew of the trials of family life., even if it were for just three trauma-filled days. 

Luke 2:41-49  And his parents went every year to Jerusalem, at the time of the solemnity of Passover.
And when he had become twelve years old, they ascended to Jerusalem, according to the custom of the feast day.
 And having completed the days, when they returned, the boy Jesus remained in Jerusalem. And his parents did not realize this.
But, supposing that he was in the company, they went a day’s journey, seeking him among their relatives and acquaintances.
 And not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem, seeking him.
 And it happened that, after three days, they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, listening to them and questioning them.
 But all who listened to him were astonished over his prudence and his responses.
 And upon seeing him, they wondered. And his mother said to him: “Son, why have you acted this way toward us? Behold, your father and I were seeking you in sorrow.”
And he said to them: “How is it that you were seeking me? For did you not know that it is necessary for me to be in these things which are of my Father?”

Fourth Sorrow: Jesus Meets His Afflicted Mother on His Way to the Cross

Recall what I had just written about the intimate union Mary and Jesus had. You suffer as He suffers, is happy as He is happy…. And now you see Him, the love of your life carrying a crucifix upon which He will be nailed to for the sins of the World. He is innocent, but is being offered as a propitiatory sacrifice to atone for the sins of others because the magnitude of the crime is so great the guilty cannot possibly pay it. 

You seen Him broken and bloodied, humiliated, with the crowds mindlessly shouting cruel epithets at Him. All these tear at your Immaculate Heart. You want to comfort Him but cannot. Your eyes meet His… you gaze at each other and wordlessly an understanding passes between you and Him. Love. Sympathy. The overwhelming love of a Mother so kind and tender…. And she cannot help Him. Then pagan soldiers whip him onward and insult you…

Fifth Sorrow: Mary Stands at the Foot of the Cross

John 19:25 And standing beside the cross of Jesus were his mother…

… and some time later after you’ve made your way to the place of His execution, a hill called Golgotha (where thousands of years before Abraham was prevented from sacrificing his son Isaac, as a test of his faith) you see Him again, dying. His condition is horrible in the extreme. You kneel before Him and gaze up, tears flood your eyes and cascade down your face. This is empathy at its most intense: the love and sorrow of a mother towards her son as life ebbs from Him.

John 19:26-27 Therefore, when Jesus had seen his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold your son.” Next, he said to the disciple, “Behold your mother.” And from that hour, the disciple accepted her as his own.

This woman is now your Mother. After you were baptized you became His brother or sister; adopted children of God the Father. And therefore at your baptism, when you became a member of the Mystical Body of her Son, Jesus Christ, you became a child of Mary as well. You follow? Jesus is Mary’s Son; after baptism you become a member of His Mystical Body, therefore Mary is your mother, too. Mary is your Mother in a way even more so than your earthly mother is, for the latter only gave birth to your life in this transitory, temporal world. Mary ‘gave birth to you’ in the supernatural life through your baptism.

If you attain Heaven, it’s because of Mary. For since Mary is your Mother, her maternal instincts cover you as well. And she is the best of mothers and wants you in Heaven with her. The saints teach that all graces come to us from God through Mary (with the Church teaching this as well, but stopping short of declaring it a revealed dogma. So far.) So if you know any better, cultivate a relationship with Mary. Ask her in your prayers that her intentions regarding your life and intentions come true. Entrust yourself to her. All good mothers dote on their children. You think Mary would be any less of a doting Mom? Most Earthly mothers boast if their sons and daughters become doctors or lawyers or some such thing. Mary wants you in Heaven, with her, for ever. 

How loving is that?

Sixth Sorrow: The Crucifixion and Mary Receives the Dead Body of Jesus from the Cross

John 19:38 Then, after these things, Joseph from Arimathea, (because he was a disciple of Jesus, but a secret one for fear of the Jews) petitioned Pilate so that he might take away the body of Jesus. And Pilate gave permission. Therefore, he went and took away the body of Jesus.

Jesus is dead. His body is taken down from the cross and placed in Mary’s arms. She looks upon Him who they have killed, his tortured body practically unrecognizable. But she is His Mother, she know this body. The same one she gave birth to 33 years before, the same one she nursed at her breasts, the same one she clothed and fed and loved all these years. 

And now He is gone. Taken so cruelly. And all because of the sins of others, from the beginning to the end of time. Death is the most painful of separations because of its finality. Mary knew her Son would rise again on the third day; He had said so. Nevertheless, the pain of His death and loss was more real to her than for any other. Even knowing He’d return. This gives us some perspective on grief and how sensitive we must be towards ourselves and towards others when death takes someone away. 

Seventh Sorrow: Jesus is Placed in the Tomb

Luke 23:53 …and he placed him in a tomb hewn from rock, in which no one had ever been placed.

And with that, he was taken from sight and buried; now physically separated from Him. It bears repeating that although Mary knew her Son would rise again, the pain of His death and now separation by burial was a grief most intense. This told to us by the writings of countless saints and mystics; which means the original source of this information must have been passed down in part by an oral tradition they picked up as well as through private revelation. Some may feel this is silly, because if she knew He’d be back in a few days, why the grief? To love deeply means to grieve deeply. The greater the love, the greater the sorrow of loss; regardless of how temporary the loss is. That explains it. And that is why Mary is the best of all possible mothers. For she loves you, too, with a love greater than you could know. 

Mary’s love for you and her maternal interest in your salvation, could make up for a multitude of ‘issues’ you have with your own mother, or even the loss of your mother because she died. Mary’s love is eternal; and she desires your happiness with her in Heaven.

This post is long enough! Tomorrow, if I can, I’ll mention the Chaplet of Our Lady of Sorrows. It’s a wonderful devotion, a part of the whole devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows (The Sorrowful Mother devotion, Devotion to the Seven Sorrows of Our Lady…it has several names, it’s all the same.)

All Scripture quotes courtesy: The Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Exaltation of the Cross

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Today, September 14th, marks the feast of the Exaltation of the Cross (sometimes called the “Triumph of the Cross.”) It marks the day in 326 when St. Helena, mother of Emperor Constantine, discovered the True Cross in Palestine. It also celebrates the dedication of Constantine’s two churches, that of the Anastasis and that of Golgotha Ad Crucem, both upon Calvary, within the precincts of the present church of the Holy Sepulchre. (Source: New Advent.org)  

Part of me prefers the ‘Triumph of the Cross’ name. To me it symbolizes our triumph over our addiction; since we ‘nailed it to the Cross’ of Our Lord who raised us up into a new and sober life. ‘Exaltation’ kind of works in this way, too; inasmuch as dying on the Cross marked Jesus as a ‘failure,’ given the ignominy of that type of death. And since He obviously wasn’t a ‘failure,’ but rose again after three days, so we, too, ‘rise again’ from our failure into a (hopefully) new and responsible life.

On a side note, the Feast is also known in some areas as “Holy Rood Day,” the tern “rood” coming from the Anglo-Saxon word ‘rod’ or ‘rode,’ which means ‘cross.’

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Four things to help you get through difficult times

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I am going through some ‘stuff’ right now; some personal issues as well as the usual anxieties about world and national events. The latter are bothersome, but I’ve gotten to realize that there’s not much I can do about them apart from prayer. The personal stuff is very worrying and those worries intrude on my limited personal time (evenings and a short weekend.) 

This post is on “Four things to help you get through difficult times” and although they are not new to me nor probably to you, I have been reacquainted with them in my recent spiritual readings and recollections. They are beginning to help me cope with the difficulties that are besetting me.

I have a two-hour Holy Hour on Friday evenings and the one on February 18th spurred much of this. I read a lot of what St. Maximillian Kolbe wrote on ‘suffering’ during that Holy Hour and it summarized or synthesized the entirety of traditional Catholic teachings on it. So here is the first thing:

Suffering. It shows that God is pruning you of pride and self-love; that bearing up with suffering in the spirit of ‘taking up your Cross’ will give you greater glory in Heaven; in a related note, that God is preparing your soul for special graces and this will mark you in a special way when your Earthly exile is over. Now, I had known this, and have even blogged this before, but I needed a reminder. St. Maximilian’s simple and unadorned way of writing helped to knock some sense into me and in presenting these time-honored truths in his simple style, brought them to me as if I was being introduced to them for the first time! That was an amazing Holy Hour. It was as if Jesus knew I needed a primer on suffering and got St. Max to teach me.

The next three things grew from that Friday.

The Present Moment is the second. St. Max didn’t write about this (or at least I can’t recall at this time,) but Mother Angelica of EWTN did write and talk about it a lot, and since I closely associate St. Maximilian with Mother Angelica (there are a lot of parallels in the development of their evangelical ministries), reading St. Max made me think of her and naturally her doctrine of the Present Moment. To describe it briefly, all we have is now. The past is left to God’s Divine Mercy, the future to His Divine Providence; leaving only the here and now to His Divine Grace. God does not give you His special helps (graces) for the past. Nor does He give it to you for the future. His graces are given to you for what is going on right now. This may help with things done in the past, such as healing from trauma and addiction and such, and He may give you a grace now that will develop into something for a future issue, but it is still given to you for where you are now. (The ‘Now’ could be regarded as the intersection of the past with the future; so that may help with understanding the previous sentence.) Anyway, being too worried about the future may cause you to not receive and cooperate with the graces being given to you now. In a way, it’s like you’re driving down a road, craning your neck out the window of your car to see something going on farther down, and a truck coming up from the right that you didn’t see collides with you. You would have seen it had you been paying attention. Ok, a little graphic, but it paints the picture. Naturally, since thinking about St. Max’s writings lead me to think about Mother Angelica, she got me to think about St. Faustina Kowalska, the “Apostle of Divine Mercy,” since Mother’s EWTN is the major promoter of the Divine Mercy devotion. St. Faustina wrote in her diary about the Present Moment:

2 “When I look into the future, I am frightened, But why plunge into the future?

Only the present moment is precious to me, As the future may never enter my soul at all.
It is no longer in my power,
To change, correct or add to the past;
For neither sages nor prophets could do that.

And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.

O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire.
I desire to use you as best I can.
And although I am weak and small,
You grant me the grace of your omnipotence.

And so, trusting in Your mercy,
I walk through life like a little child,
Offering You each day this heart Burning with love for Your greater glory.

Trust in Jesus is the third thing. Since Max lead me to Angelica, and she lead me to Faustina, the big thing about the latter is the whole ‘Jesus I Trust in You’ theology of the Divine Mercy message. Trust in Jesus. He’s got your back, so to speak. He knows more than you do what’s going on with you, and why. Trusting in Him gives Him great delight; it allows Him to operate more freely within your soul, granting you the graces needed to help you get through ‘stuff.’ And it is a soothing balm to comfort you in trying times. All that is within your reach you can deal with; beyond that (the past, the future, and contemporary trials that are beyond your control) is in God’s hands. If your relationship with God has developed where you believe it’s now a personal one, then this should not be too hard. You love God, you know He loves you, it’s not hard to trust in the ones you love. I know, (trust me, I know!) that it is difficult at times to take that ‘leap of faith’ and believe that Jesus will ‘take care of the matter,’ but when this happens, think about all the times in the past when Jesus rescues you from a situation. Why would He abandon you now?

Trust in the Blessed Mother is the fourth thing. You have to have a pretty good devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary to get this. But it does bring things to a full circle; Maximilian took me to Angelica, who took me to Faustina who took me back to Maximilian. Not surprising since Faustina and Max were Polish contemporaries and their teachings parallel each other. St. Maximilian wrote that “Whatever does not depend upon our will is surely the will of the Immaculata.” This takes some meditation to get. In essence, he means that whatever is beyond the grasp of our will, falls within the grasp of Mary’s. It is his teaching, as well as that of many other great Marian saints, that Mary’s will is identical to that of God’s. Since Our Lady was conceived with Original Sin, she didn’t suffer concupiscence. She never sinned. Sin is essentially turning your will away from God’s. Therefore, her will was always united to God’s. So, we can conclude that since Our Lady is in Heaven watching over us and interceding on our behalf, what she wants for us is the same as what God wants. Trusting in the Blessed Mother and her maternal intercession is complementary to trusting in Divine Providence and Jesus. Our basic trust in Our Lady is evident in the Hail Mary prayer:

Hail Mary, Full of Grace; 
the Lord is with you.
Blessed are you among women,
and Blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners, 
now, and at the hour of our death.

AMEN

There, she is praying for us now, and at some future time when we die. If you are consecrated to her in some manner, such as by the method of St. Louis de Montfort or St. Maximilian Kolbe, then you belong to her and are under her special protection as well as guidance. Entrust your problems, your ‘stuff’ to her and her Son. Using inspiration, graces, including perhaps signal graces, Jesus and Mary will lead, guide, console, and intervene. Patience is necessary since Heaven’s Time is not ours. But then we go back to the first thing, suffering, which we can offer up in redemption for our sins, those of others, and for the general intercessory powers of Heaven.

Now, regarding that quotation from St. Maximilian, “Whatever does not depend upon our will is surely the will of the Immaculata.” There is a tricky thing about that. Our will is that tricky thing. If our will is united to God’s will, to the best of our ability to discern that, then anything beyond that is the will of the Virgin Mary. And what depends upon our will is helped by God’s grace. That’s great. Solutions to the ‘stuff’ are in the works. But, if our will is mostly self-willed pride, and therefore divorced from God’s will, then there lies a problem. What depends upon our will is going to be a great struggle, a tremendous burden, and a trial. We may begin to doubt ourselves, our pride is wounded or we get angry and aggressive. Perhaps the ‘stuff’ that you are going through is the result of your self-willed pride. Perhaps not. (This is what I am attempting to discern about my ‘stuff.’ Am I doing God’s will? Or I’m not and I’m suffering as a result? Or I am and His will is for me to suffer the ‘stuff’ right now? Who knows? (And neither do you since I haven’t identified the ‘stuff’ I’m going through 😉 )

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Blog History and a new job!

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It has come to my attention that I last posted here about six weeks ago. This means history has been made here at Sober Catholic! December 2021 was the very first month without any blogposts. I was going to say “That’s nothing to be proud of!” but when you consider I’ve been doing this since January 2007, that is an accomplishment. OK, a few times I ‘cheated,’ realizing on the first of a month that I missed the previous one; so I’d write a quickie post and backdate it. (At least I issued a disclaimer announcing the backdating.) I thought about doing that again, but as the days of January marched on, I succumbed to blogging honesty and decided against such chicanery. 

History was also made on January 5th, when this blog celebrated (quietly) its 15th bloggaversary.

I have had some good reasons for missing December 2021 and half of January 2022. Times had gotten a bit difficult. The stress of the Christmas season (from the secular side) plus some personal struggles had contributed to blogging neglect. I have been out of work for a while since the COVID pandemic ended my regular job in 2020. Relying on the additional pandemic unemployment insurance while it lasted, I also had been searching for a work-at-home position. A few came and went; some turned out to be bogus, or otherwise not what they seemed, and in December 2021 things seemingly looked up. I found a ghostwriter content job, which actually turned out to be painful. While I appreciated the opportunity, given the time spent writing, and factoring in the fixed rate of payment for the articles, I’d be making minimum wage. For 1979. And then…

… I found another. I have been a member of a certain online community dedicated to permaculture and homesteading for quite a while and took to the welcoming and informative atmosphere. I won’t mention the specific place for the time being, but after a fashion, I will come back and edit this with the actual identity. (People good with search engines and intuition can probably guess.) Anyway, for some odd reason the community took to me as well, and OK, to make a long story short, the … interesting… fellow who runs the place needed a virtual assistant and I thought, “What the hooey, I’ll try for it.” Well, if I ain’t a worm wriggling around in a fresh compost heap, but I got the job! Been doing it for almost a month. I work six days a week (he’d like seven, but that so isn’t happenin.’ )

Futures are always uncertain, but I had to trust in Divine Providence. The very idea that I’d be working for this dude would have been considered utterly ridiculous just a few months ago. This place relies a lot on volunteers, and they periodically go through a process of ‘promoting’ regular members into positions of greater responsibility in their forums. That happened to me last Summer or Autumn. I was shocked. But in retrospect, I think I can see the hand of Divine Providence at work in it since that ‘promotion’ was the seemingly natural progression of my involvement there since I started in their forums when the pandemic hit. I took to gardening a lot, and the site is a great one for that, and I freely shared my experiences. The site became one of the few ‘happy places’ for me online during the traumas of 2020 (pandemic and the US Presidential election.) 

During all of this I prayed: prayed to get through 2020, then 2021, and through it all that I obtain a ‘job suitable to my talents.’ It took a while, but it finally arrived last month. I could not have applied for this job in 2020, or even during most of 2021. It was only because of the amount of time I spent on the forums, growing in the knowledge of the place which lead to the site’s volunteers noticing me and ‘promoting’ me to a position of responsibility that gave me the confidence that I might have a chance.

There is a lesson in this. And that is PRAYER works, and quite often the answer is in God’s time, not yours. It certainly would have helped for me to have gotten this much earlier, except that it would not have been possible until I had achieved certain skills or a reputation. I like to think, now, that God had been answering this all along, from the Spring of 2020 which coincided with my participation in this particular site. He was shaping me to be the person suitable for this assistant’s job for well over a year. God exists outside of time, and He knows the future that works out from amongst all the possible ones. And He knew that this place would be needing a new assistant for the guy who runs it. And He drew me along, keeping me (somewhat) free of despair over finances and economics until the job was ready and I was ready for it.

Now, this doesn’t mean that I can go all “Lah-dih-dah! God got me this job and I can just do whatever! It’s mine!” No, while I believe He did help me obtain it,  now I have to rely on His graces to keep it and do it well. When God answers your prayers, you have to be grateful, and take it for granted.

Life is interesting. Sometimes I wish it were less so, but it is what it is. OH!! Yumpin’ Yiminy! I almost forgot! NEXT YEAR YOU HAVE TO SAY THIS PRAYER! I THINK IT WAS THE FINAL KEY, THE CORNERSTONE THROUGH WHICH MY JOB SEARCH PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED: The St. Andrew Christmas Novena. It worked! I said it in 2020, with no apparent success. But, as I said above, it may have been part of the manner by which I was ‘prepared,’ for the answer. Leading up to that, I would also like to publicly thank, in no particular order (I sound like I’m an Oscar or Emmy winner thanking all the people who helped me along the way.) St. Maximilian Kolbe, St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Rita of Cascia, St. Faustina Kowalska, St. Pio of Pietrelcina, and St. Joan of Arc. I think they were all the saints I… OH, and St. Gemma Galgani, can’t forget her! And obviously, a BIG SHOUT OUT to the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph! 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Vision of the Judgment Seat of God

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In her diary, ‘Divine Mercy in my Soul,” St. Maria Faustina Kowalska writes of when she was given the gift of appearing before the judgement seat of God:

36 Once I was summoned to the judgment [seat] of God. I stood alone before the Lord. Jesus
appeared such as we know Him during His Passion. After a moment, His wounds
disappeared except for five, those in His hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the
complete condition of my soul as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is displeasing to
God. I did not know that even the smallest transgressions will have to be accounted for.
What a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked
me, Who are you? I answered, “I am Your servant, Lord.” You are guilty of one day of
fire in purgatory. I wanted to throw myself immediately into the flames of
purgatory, but Jesus stopped me and said, Which do you prefer, suffer now for one
day in purgatory or for a short while on earth? I replied, “Jesus, I want to suffer in
purgatory, and I want to suffer also the greatest pains on earth, even if it were until the end
of the world.” Jesus said, One [of the two] is enough; you will go back to earth, and
there you will suffer much, but not for long; you will accomplish My will and My
desires, and a faithful servant of Mine will help you to do this. Now, rest your head
on My bosom, on My heart, and draw from it strength and power for these
sufferings, because you will find neither relief nor help nor comfort anywhere else.
Know that you will have much, much to suffer, but don’t let this frighten you; I am
with you.

What a gift! To be given this opportunity before one dies to see yourself as God see you. Fully transparent, everything exposed in the light of God’s Justice. An opportunity to see ALL of your sins, flaws, faults, and “character defects,” and still have the time to do something about them.

NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Miracle of the Sun at Fatima

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Note: this was originally posted in different form long ago here at Sober Catholic:

On October 13, 1917 the final Marian Apparition at Fatima, Portugal took place.

I know the anniversary was a few weeks ago, but I decided to post this today, the Feast of All Hallow’s Eve (a/k/a “Halloween”). I’ll explain at the end.

Seventy thousand people attended the event, which was supposed to have a miracle promised by the Virgin Mary so that all may believe.

Amongst those present were representatives of the Portuguese media, all socialist and all anti-clerical (theophobes who despised the Catholic Church, professed atheism, and who cooperated in what they hoped would be the eventual destruction of the Church in Portugal. The country had undergone a revolution in 1910 which deposed the Catholic monarch and imposed restrictions on the Church.)

Our Lady appeared as promised, but not alone. St. Joseph also appeared, holding the Christ Child.

Oh, yes: the sun also danced in the sky. Witnessed by all those in attendance, and by more hundreds of miles away, the sun whirled about in the sky, terrifying the witnesses.

It also appeared to hurtle towards the Earth, convincing people that the World was ending (and this part of the Apparition is why I decided to take advantage of my posting tardiness and write this today.)

One note on the sun dancing: for anyone who may be skeptical, one evidence that “something” happened lays in the fact that it had been raining heavily all day long, so much so that the ground throughout the area was drenched. Saturated with water, and combined with the foot traffic of 70,000 attendees, it was a horrific muddy mess.

Until the sun dried it. Nearly instantly. According to all those present, after the Apparition was over and the sun returned to its normal state, the ground was hardened as though it had not seen rain for weeks.

And another note for skeptics: this was all duly reported by the anti-clerical media. The reporters had gone there hoping (or rather assuming) that the whole event would be a non-happening; that the seers would be shamed,the Church embarrassed and once and for all the foolish belivers would have their religious superstitions exposed for what they are – nonsense.

But no, they couldn’t deny the event, their skepticism and non-belief didn’t prevent them from witnessing the Miracle of the Sun, nor acknowledging the effects on the physical environment.

So much for that. How the whole thing happened is a mystery; how only those in the vicinity witnessed this but for people all over the rest of the world the Sun operated normally is known only to God, who is not subject to the laws of Nature. (That’s why certain events are called ‘miracles.’ Perhaps someday, when our science progresses to a more sophisticated level, someone can postulate a theory. But until science catches up with Faith…)

Now, as to why I posted this today:

As the sun plunged to the Earth the believers were understandably freaked out. They thought the world was ending.

The liturgical calendar for the Catholic Church has tomorrow as the Solemnity of All Saints, and after that the Memorial of All Souls. All Saints is for all those in Heaven, officially canonized by the Church or not; and All Souls is for the Faithful Departed who are undergoing purification in Purgatory. These two Feast Days kick off the Month of November, dedicated by the Catholic Church to the dead. (This is why there will be an uptick in the number of posts here regarding death, Purgatory, and all that over November. (Apart from my finally finishing the migration of posts from my old death blog, “The Four Last Things.” Many of these posts are reblogs from there. See the ‘Additional NOTE’ at the end. There is no link to that blog as the posts are being unpublished as they get transferred to here or In Exile.)

These two days are there (amongst other reasons) to remind us of our ultimate end. Someday we will all die. There is no escaping that.

Maybe this is something for you to consider, before God decides to hurl the Sun at you!

Note: I have written before on the Marian Apparitions at Fatima, Portugal. Please see—> Fatima Posts Archive.

Additional NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, some edited, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)