Category Archives: Grief

Those who are healthy do not need a physician

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Today’s Lenten post is an excerpt from the Gospel for today’s Mass for the Saturday after Ash Wednesday.

Luke 5: 31-32

“And responding, Jesus said to them: “It is not those who are well who need a doctor, but those who have maladies. I have not come to call the just, but sinners to repentance.”

via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.

I know I have blogged about this passage before, given its significance for us alcoholics. For we are truly sick and in need of a physician. Who better than the Divine Physician, Jesus, who heals all?

In fact, His healing didn’t stop with His Earthly life, it continued on ever afterward in the Church He established. The Catholic Church is the repository of His mission: to preserve intact the Gospel message, free from error and heresy, to preach it to the nations, and to continue healing the broken and wounded. The sacraments offer healing. Avail yourself of them. Go to Confession and receive the Eucharist at Mass. Pray before th Blessed Sacrament.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

EWTN’s Fr. Groeschel passed away

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Father Benedict Groeschel, CFR, 81, died at St. Joseph’s Home for the elderly in Totowa, New Jersey, USA at 11PM on October 3, 2014, after a long illness. He was a noted author, speaker, psychologist, and spiritual director familiar to many from his shows and appearances on EWTN as well as from his numerous books.

Fr. Groeschel was very important in my reversion to the Catholic faith, as well as on how I maintained my sobriety. Although he wasn’t an alcoholic or an addict, he was a psychologist with a unique insight into things that I found applicable to addiction recovery. Perhaps this was also due to him being a priest. It was  his recognizing our fallen nature and the manifestations of that nature within our minds and “inordinate attractions” that inspired me to buy and read a great number of his books. He ministered to that fallen nature, appropriate for a priest, but with his added psychology credentials.

Many of his books dealt with spiritual development, growing closer to God and just “coping.” Coping with death and grief. Coping with daily trials and troubles. Hence why I feel that if you’re a Catholic in recovery from addictions of any sort, start getting his books.

I learned much from his books and television appearances on the healing power of Catholicism, from her Sacraments to prayer life and devotions to spiritual reading and the like.

As we see in the Gospel of Jesus according to Mark:

{2:17} Jesus, having heard this, said to them: “The healthy have no need of a doctor, but those who have maladies do. For I came not to call the just, but sinners.”

via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.

Fr. Groeschel was a wonderful example of this.

Information on his death, memorial services, a Facebook Group in his memory and where donations can made is found here: Statement On Father Groeschel by the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Walk in the dark valley

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The Responsorial Psalm for Monday of the Fifth Week of Lent is:

Even though I walk in the dark valley I fear no evil; for you are at my side.

via USCCB.

We have all been there, this stroll through the dark valley, when all is dark and we feel that there is no hope. We may have reached our “bottom,” that “jumping off place” where we know that if we continue drinking we will die, and if we don’t drink might be afraid to live and wish for death. Or we could be sober for quite a while but are feeling “thirsty” and we are unsure of how to get back on the beam.

We are not alone. The Lord is with us; He stands at the ready, able to help us if only we ask. If we nurture this relationship with Jesus, we shall “fear no evil,” for no threat about us can possibly discourage us from the path we are to tread.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

God, you will not spurn

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The Responsorial Psalm from today’s Mass for Wednesday of the First Week of Lent is Psalm 51, a favorite of mine. It is also a favorite of the Church’s, as it appears often on Fridays in the Divine Office, and today is the second time since Lent began that it is used as the Responsorial. I also blogged about it last week: A heart contrite and humbled.

As it is a good prayer to use when you are truly contrite and wish to be reconciled to the Lord, it is not altogether strange that the Church emphasizes it at appropriate times. Perhaps the Church is reminding us of the need for repentannce, as well as frequent use of the Sacrament of Confession.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Walk With the Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots, Day 9

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Today is Day 9 and thus the final one in our Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots. We ask Mary’s intercession for “this knot in my life…You know very well the suffering it has caused me…”

So, what knot is it? Is it the same one you may have prayed about daily, or one of the more knotty ones from a particular day? (A rhetorical question, don’t post the knot in the comments!)

Ponder, meditate and offer up this knot for Mary to undo. Offer up all the pain, trauma and suffering it has brought into your life. Let Mary’s maternal love work its healing into you…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Walk with the Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots, Day 5

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Today is Day 5 in our daily walk with The Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots and we cover “the bitterness, anger and hatred which this knot has caused me…”

This is very close to our third day’s intentions in which we asked Mary’s intercession to help us with “resentment,” the really dangerous character defect that we alcoholics nurture very well. But, while that intercession involved things of a general nature, this one seems to be directed at a single situation, and one that is deeper and more soul-eating. An event that resulted in bitterness, anger and hatred.

These three emotions are tools that Satan can exploit to drive you away from Jesus. They are extremely negative and can easily burn away charity in the soul and darken life. Probably every reader as well as myself has hated or been hated, and we can all attest to its debilitating nature. One chief consequence of bitterness, anger and hatred is how easily it can harm our relationship with God, who is Love, Mercy and Forgiveness.

Ask Mary’s maternal help in undoing this knot. It is deadly. Deadly to your soul and thus deadly to your salvation. Whatever it is, it isn’t worth damnation.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Inspiring video for when things get really bad

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Just watch:

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Agony in the Garden

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We all experience our own Garden of Gethsemane:

Matthew 26:36-42: “Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’

He took along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to feel sorrow and distress.

Then he said to them, ‘My soul is sorrowful even to death. Remain here and keep watch with me.’

He advanced a little and fell prostrate in prayer, saying, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will.’

When he returned to his disciples he found them asleep. He said to Peter, ‘So you could not keep watch with me for one hour?

Watch and pray that you may not undergo the test. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’

Withdrawing a second time, he prayed again, ‘My Father, if it is not possible that this cup pass without my drinking it, your will be done!'”

(Via USCCB.)

We can only imagine the suffering that goes into “My soul is sorrowful even to death.” And this is Jesus who is going through this pain, on the eve of His Crucifixion and death.

Our wills resist doing what needs to be done if it involves the least amount of pain and anguish. Our trials come and we feel so alone during them. We beg and pray that God would relieve us of the burden. Even when we have someone to share the pain with, the sorrow over enduring the trial is like a shadow enveloping us. The burden might be eased, but the trial of enduring still darkens our soul.

I am currently undergoing a trial at my day job. I cannot go into details but it keeps dragging on, seemingly without end, although it has only been a few weeks.

One thing that I have noticed more during this period than I have in previous trials in my life is the work of grace in my soul, and the mercy of God. I cannot explain, but whereas in the past I would be seriously stressing out, I am not so much now. Quite a lot has to do with my lovely wife’s support and her deep and abiding faith, but there have been other things coinciding during this time. It is almost as if God is telling me that He knew all along that this would be happening (of course He does, being omniscient) and has arranged certain things to help me not only cope, but spiritually grow and strengthen during this period.

Perhaps this all doesn’t make much sense as I have not written about what is happening. There will be a few blogposts coming up that will relate some of the “spiritual” events that have happened that have given me courage. And perhaps you, as well. For we are truly not alone when we suffer trials. Jesus is there awaiting our prayers. While we might not have the burdens lifted, we can know that He is there, shepherding us through (if we see with the eyes of faith).

Suffering is hardly ever desired (an understatement if there ever was one), but with a strong faith and friends to assist, people can learn and emerge stronger for it. It is a natural part of human existence. If that is accepted then perhaps it can actually bear fruit in one’s life.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

And so it begins… a cycle of anniversaries

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Six years ago today my Mom was taken to the ICU for reasons unknown at the time. We had thought it was related to her heart condition (she had surgery earlier in the year and a stent was implanted in her heart), but as it turned out she had a ruptured bowel.

She died from it on November 7th, but that is for a later post. But today begins a particular cycle of anniversaries of her final weeks, for the dates now fall upon the days-of-the week as they occurred in 2005, the first time this has happened since her death that year.

Not that it really makes these anniversaries any different, it is just another year. But somehow the coincidence of dates and days makes them a little more, I don’t know, poignant is a word that comes to mind. A special emotional feeling triggering the heart and mind in a way that is unique to the event.

I was originally going to post this at my other blog, The Four Last Things, and indeed later today an edited version of it may appear there, but I changed it to here for now as anniversaries of this sort can also be triggers for a relapse.

Those of us who are alcoholics have minds that are moody, even after years of sobriety (nearly 9 1/2 for me). Emotional mood swings and responses are not unheard of, even though they may level out and not seem as extreme as they were during the old drinking days or early sobriety. Nevertheless they are there and pose a risk.

Not that I am in danger of a relapse, I have no intention of drinking “despite” the anniversaries and certain other stresses in my life. But still I must remain aware of the dangers to my sobriety and continued ability to remain a responsible, contributing member of society.

Life just sucks at times and during those periods we have to just “suck it up” and deal with it as best we can, and accept help from whatever quarters it is offered. Pray a lot and reflect.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The well do not need a physician, the sick do

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I have probably blogged about this Scripture passage before, but it bears mentioning again. The Gospel reading for today’s Mass (Saturday of the First Week of Ordinary Time) tells us that Jesus came here for the broken and wounded of humanity:

Mark 2:16-17: “Some scribes who were Pharisees saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors and said to his disciples, ‘Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?’ Jesus heard this and said to them (that), ‘Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.’“

(Via USCCB.)

He came for all who need healing. Regardless of the circumstances, if you are sick and suffering, alone and fearful, anxious and worried, He came to heal you. Turn to Him in the Mass, in the Eucharist and in Adoration, and He will heal you. It may take time, but the process begins.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)