Standing idly by

The First Reading from the Daily Mass for Monday of the First Week of Lent has something interesting to declare about our responsibility towards our fellow sufferers:

Leviticus 19:16: “nor shall you stand by idly when your neighbor’s life is at stake.”

(Via USCCB.)

Say what you will about the suffering alcoholic’s need to “hit bottom” before making the decision to either continue drinking and die or stop drinking and wish for death (due to the pain of early recovery), perhaps the Holy Spirit may be using you as the instrument to help the addict in recognizing this. You might be the person who removes the veil from their eyes to see the truth of their situation.

Something to consider.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Second Step: Coming to Believe

The Second Step of 12 Step recovery movements is:

“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

“Came to believe” implies a process in which you once didn’t believe, but eventually adopted a belief.

This is known as conversion. “Recovery” is a distinct form of conversion, as you undergo a process in which you gradually change from the person that you were to a person that you are now by virtue of altering how you react to things and seeking other means of fulfilling and satisfying the needs of your soul. This Step is the beginning of a conversion process.

Very rarely can anyone become sober by themselves. Many people can stop drinking on their own, but do not replace alcohol as a coping mechanism with anything else. Although not drinking, their sobriety isn’t necessarily a healthy or “sane” one. For a restoration of sanity, or at least fairly normal behavior, we must resort to a “Power greater than ourselves.” This means God, but to avoid the appearance of forcing a particular concept of God upon anyone, a benignly sounding “Higher Power” of your own conception is named.

Therefore, this Step is about adopting a new frame of mind in which you admit to the fact that you need special help to become sober and sane. Just as the result of the First Step was an admission of personal weakness, now you recognize that something else has to come in and fill the void left by your corrupted will.

From the Gospel according to Mark: Mark 9:23-24: “Jesus said to him,’‘If you can!‘ Everything is possible to one who has faith.’

Then the boy’s father cried out, ‘I do believe, help my unbelief!‘”

(Via USCCB.)

Ask the Lord to help your unbelief, if you feel that your Faith isn’t strong enough to carry you forward.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Drinking is Never an Option

I think it was nearly 5 years ago when I stumbled upon the notion of just ruling out the idea that drinking is an option. In the “One Day at a Time” concept of 12 Step Movements, you will just take the notion of not drinking, but just for today. “Today, I will not drink.” This is because the idea of never taking a drink for the rest of one’s life may be too much to handle. Therefore, take it in bite-size, one-day-at-a-time baby steps. Tomorrow is another story, another day.

While this is fine, and very successful, I found it questionable for my own personal abilities. You see, the “ODAAT” (“One Day at a Time” acronym) leaves open the possibility of drinking tomorrow. Advocates of ODAAT would respond by saying that you would merely resolve to do ODAAT again when tomorrow arrives. But for me, there would still be that narrow window of opportunity that would allow a drink to sneak in.

Therefore, I decided that drinking would never be an option. No matter how good, or how bad, drinking just wouldn’t be on the table as a response. In the past, I would drink when things got bad, but also when things were great. Drinking was a lubricant, either quelling the pain or heightening the joy. Drinking was always a response to something. It was an option.

What had happened to get me to the idea that drinking would never be an option, no matter what was a day in April 2004 in which I was laid off from a job due to insufficient work. As I was the last hired, I was the first to go. I was depressed, I had thought that I had finally “made it” in sobriety, that I had finally landed a job that would last and that I was putting in the final building blocks of my sobriety. The initial struggling period would be over and I would just “practice these principles in all my affairs” and just live. But being laid off shattered that notion.

I drove home, and it seemed as every liquor store in my part of the state was between work and home. I resisted the urge to go into any of them, thinking all the way “ODAAT”, and went instead straight to my old AA Home Group. I pondered stuff and I think that the topic was something about ODAAT. I decided that ODAAT wasn’t good enough for me, or rather, not suitable enough. There was always that danger that the desire to drink would wedge its way in and that I wouldn’t be strong enough the next day to do ODAAT.

So I decided to just remove drinking from the list of options. Not just for today, but forever. ODAAT preserves the notion that drinking is an option for tomorrow, and when tomorrow arrives, just push drinking off one more day through ODAAT.

My removing drinking as an option does not mean that I will resolve to never drink for the rest of my life, the scary notion that ODAAT evolved to ease. It just isn’t on the list of response mechanisms I have at my disposal. It isn’t something that I “do”, or have to ponder with never doing. I am not facing the prospect of viewing the rest of my life without drinking, it is more like the idea that murder or rape is simply not an option for how decent civilized people deal with others. Drinking isn’t there for me to choose. I do not bemoan the idea that I won’t murder or rape anyone in the future before I die, doing either of those things isn’t a part or my character. Drinking no longer is a part of my character.

I did not arrive at this idea easily. I spent the entire month of April 2004 beating this into my brain. I was helped by many AA meeting topics that kind of reinforced this. I guess the Holy Spirit was working on me.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

God's Anonymity

A frequent saying or slogan in 12 Step meetings is that “Coincidence is God’s way of protecting His anonymity.” The following article explores that:

WHEN GOD ACCENTS SOMETHING FOR YOU, TAKE IT AS A MESSAGE IN THE TIDES OF LIFE

(Via Spirit Daily.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 9 of the Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Recovery

All 7 Gifts of the Holy Spirit have been prayed for: Wisdom, Understanding, Knowledge, Counsel, Fortitude, Piety, and Fear of the Lord.

To round out the last day of the Pentecost novena for alcoholism I decided to petition for sobriety. It isn’t a gift of the Holy Spirit, but if you live according to the Spirit, it is a natural result.

Like in the previous days, we start with the prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Sobriety means much more than not drinking. Just like “peace” doesn’t mean “no war”. Sobriety means clear-headedness, a cool and balanced view of things. Faith going hand-in-hand with reason.

It is an emotional balance. As alcoholics we had a warped emotional interpretation of events and situations and our response was therefore as warped and imbalanced as our perceptions. Sobriety means that we have taught ourselves how to handle these situations. We retrained ourselves how to properly respond to stuff. A goodly dose of sincere humility, that there is a God and we’re not Him mixed with an ability to choose those things that we can change from those we can’t, and we have the beginnings of sobriety.

We maintain this sobriety through prayer, religious devotion, and spiritual growth; a balanced and respectful attitude towards people and things; and service to others. Twelve Step or alternative recovery programs may supplement these.

From 1 Peter 5: 8-9;

Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for (someone) to devour.
Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings.

Resist the alluring call of the drink, know that others are going through the same sufferings as you, regardless of the length of sobriety.

Oh, Holy Spirit, grant me sobriety. I ask you this in the name of Jesus, the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Living in the Spirit

A Scriptural reading from the Liturgy of the Hours has excellent guidance on how to live according to the Holy Spirit. It identifies those attitudes and behaviors in accord with life in the Spirit and those opposed to living in the Spirit. The fuller version from Paul’s Letter to the Galatians is here:

Galatians 5:16-26

I say, then: live by the Spirit and you will certainly not gratify the desire of the flesh.
For the flesh has desires against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you may not do what you want.
But if you are guided by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
Now the works of the flesh are obvious: immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions, occasions of envy, drinking bouts, orgies, and the like.
I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
Now those who belong to Christ (Jesus) have crucified their flesh with its passions and desires.
If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.
Let us not be conceited, provoking one another, envious of one another.

Take a look at the “works of the flesh”. Aside from a direct reference to “drinking bouts”, do any of those sound familiar?

Now take a look at the “fruit of the Spirit”. Most, if not all of those are usually identified with clean and sober living. People who are long-time 12-Step members usually show these traits and are sought after by new members because they have what others want. Genuine Christians of whatever stripe definitely possess these character traits.

Pretty simple and straightforward, and there all written out by a writer inspired by God.

Now, go out there and do not be conceited, provocative and envious of anyone!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 8 of the Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Addiction

Today for this novena we petition for Fear of the Lord.

As before, we start with the prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Fear is the misunderstood part of this gift. Fear is misunderstood to imply that God is a harsh, brutal unforgiving taskmaster that we should cower and cringe before in mortal terror.

Fear is perhaps better understood as meaning respect. We must respect the Lord our God who created us and sustains us throughout our lives and who decides when that life is over.

After receiving all of the other gifts of the Holy Spirit, we can understand that receiving fear of the Lord as not to be something, well, feared. A healthy, deep and loving respect for God is a natural result of the spiritual development and growth that devotion to the Holy Spirit brings.

Many alcoholics upon recovering reject organized religion as it is felt to be a sign of an unrelenting and unforgiving God. This is based on their past alcoholic relationship with the Church. The interesting thing is that in their recovery, at least according to the 12 Steps, they are to make amends to all they have hurt, to “clean up their side of the street” and to be open to healing all parts of their lives. But they (in my experience) leave out the Church. They harbor and nurture a lingering resentment towards the Church. To me this is a land mine waiting to explode. Regardless of one’s opinion on organized religion, to not heal all of your past alcoholic relationships is an incomplete recovery. This view of organized religion may ultimately poison a relationship with God.

To say that “I believe in God, but not religion”, is like saying “I believe in air, but not in breathing”.

Pray for a healthy, loving respect for God. It will affect all your relationships.

Oh, Holy Spirit, give me a deep and respectful fear of the Lord, our God ,who gave me life and sustains me though all my sufferings. I ask this in the name of Jesus, the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 7 of the Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Recovery

On this day of the novena to the Holy Spirit, we petition for the gift of piety.

As in previous days, we start with the prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

False notions of piety include holier-than-thou self-righteousness, or a heavy-handed religious devotion focusing more on rules. Piety is actually a sincere, humble and faithful devotion to God, a pure religious and spiritual devotion lacking any mere human concerns.

Piety elevates us above the level of ordinary spiritual seeking and growth because it necessarily includes religion. Without religion we are merely stumbling around in the dark, designing our own god and going along the easiest path. Religion “imposes” duties and obligations that distinguishes us from the purely secular realm. It helps us focus on God, His love for us and aids in our response to Him. Religious duties and obligations are more easily followed when we honestly and sincerely seek to understand them and their meanings and origins. Otherwise we just think they are burdensome human inventions that people reject and then go off to be “spiritual” and not “religious” (a post on that is in the works).

For a recovered alcoholic to be pious means to have a sincere religious faith mixed with a desire for spiritual growth that challenges you to conquer your inner demons (or “character defects”). Interior conversion and conquering these demons is always a consideration for people leaving alcoholism and addiction, especially if you want to do “whatever it takes” to remain free of the addiction.

Matt Talbot was a pious man, free from addiction to alcohol through his practice of the Catholic faith. He independently discovered and lived a life according to the Twelve Steps of popular recovery movements years before they were written down. He is an excellent model for the person in recovery. Much can be learned about him here .

Being pious is not being self-righteous. Piety helps steer us in the direction of spiritual growth towards God and enables us to live religious lives.

Oh, Holy Spirit, bestow upon us the gift of piety so that we may sincerely seek out God in all things. We ask this in the name of Jesus, the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 6 of the Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Recovery

On this day of the novena to the Holy Spirit, we petition for the gift of fortitude.

As before, we start with the prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Fortitude is inner strength, a courage to face adversity. We also know this as the ability to endure and suffer through trials, troubles and tribulations.

We alcoholics know all these way too well.

Lack of true fortitude drove us to drink. Alcohol afforded us a false sense of fortitude. We needed to “fortify” ourselves before any stressful endeavor. Anything that we knew would be a source of anxiety was an excuse for a drink.

Alcoholics and addicts sometimes talk of a “hole in the soul” that their addiction filled. Upon recovery that hole is filled by the grace of God and His increased presence in it. Fortitude may be one of the most direct gifts of this “hole filling” presence of God. With an increased devotion to the Lord, and a transfer from alcohol and drugs to God for our spiritual fulfillment, we may find the inner strength needed to take on and handle our daily troubles.

Oh, Holy Spirit, bestow upon me the gift of fortitude so that I may see through my sufferings today and bear witness to the strength that faith and hope in You brings. I ask this in the name of Jesus, the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 5 of the Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Recovry

On this day of the novena, we petition for the gift of counsel.

Like before, we start with the prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Counsel is the enlightening of the mind by the Holy Spirit so as to better discern God‘s will in choosing between right and wrong. (I usually get counsel confused with knowledge.)

We alcoholics are experts at choosing between right and wrong. Unfortunately we almost always picked the wrong choice while drinking. The first major right choice we made was when we arrived at the “jumping off” point, that moment when we hit bottom and decided between life and death. Life, meaning not drinking may be actually better than drinking. “If I continue to drink, I will die. If I stop drinking, I may only want to die.”

After sobriety sets in, we face countless right-or-wrong choices. As alcoholics, these decisions go deeper than “normal” people (those who can drink safely). As alcoholics, we need to learn how ourselves to handle sobriety. We need to retrain ourselves in how we react to situations and events that “normal” people take in stride without a thought. My favorite personal example are intersections and grocery stores. I need to think in advance while stopped at a red light that sometimes people may actually take 5 or more seconds to hit the accelerator after the light turns green. By think I mean ponder and remind myself. Most people are probably just on automatic and go on green after a habit-formed period of time passes, allowing for traffic conditions. No, not me. I have to meditate because I am convinced that after waiting at the red light for however long it’s on, people forget that green means “go”. For grocery stores is similar. I have to remind myself that people are not intentionally moving their shopping carts slowly down the middle of the aisle just to inconvenience me, or that the checker is intentionally driving me insane by slowly running the items over the scanner and bagging them.

Those two personal examples are moments when I need the gift of counsel, this inner light of reason as to which path to take (in my examples the path of patient waiting or impatient burning).

Counsel is like the Holy Spirit is your personal Twelve Step sponsor.

Oh, Holy Spirit, give me the gift of counsel so that I may always choose right over wrong. I ask this in the name of Jesus, the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)