Category Archives: Humility

You will not be released until you have paid the last penny

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The Gospel Reading from today’s Mass has important things to say on the subject of reconciliation that many might wish to consider:

Matthew 5: 20-26;

I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
“You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.’
But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, ‘Raqa,’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna.
Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court with him. Otherwise your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.
Amen, I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny.

The last line about not being released until you have paid in full is one of the Catholic Church’s Scriptural proofs for the existence of Purgatory. Jesus is apparently strongly implying that if you die still indebted for a wrongdoing, you will pay for it in the afterlife. Since there is an end to this punishment, it is not an eternal one like Hell, therefore a place of temporary punishment must exist.

That being said, even a place of temporary punishment is still punishment, and why undergo it if you can avoid it? Settle accounts now while there is time, make whatever amendments to those you’ve hurt while they’re still around to reconcile with.

Granted it isn’t easy, especially if there is a threat of rejection or of wounds being re-opened. But meditating on the possibility, “becoming willing to make amends” is a start towards this, and of lessening one’s time in Purgatory.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics: Day 7

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Today we pray Day 7 of our Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics. Like yesterday we begin with:

PRAYER FOR THE ADDICTED

God of mercy, we bless You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who ministered to all who come to Him. Give Your strength to N., Your servant, bound by the chains of addiction. Enfold him/her in Your love and restore him/her to the freedom of God’s children. Lord, look with compassion on all those who have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of Your unfailing mercy, and strengthen them in the work of recovery. To those who care for them, grant patient understanding and a love that perseveres. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Yesterday I wrote about the “patient understanding” part of the “Prayer for the Addicted”. Today I’ll look at the “love that perseveres.”

We alcoholics are difficult people to deal with. Forget about how we were when we were drinking. Even after we’ve been sober for years we still have emotional mood swings that are higher, sharper and quicker than “normal people.” It is the nature of our condition and why we have to remain vigilant about emotional triggers and keep focused on how we react to things.

But imagine how it is for that person still caught in their addiction. “Love conquers all” and it is definitely love that is need to help them through the confusion of early sobriety. Love is also needed for yourself, in coping with the difficulties of your addict.

Remember your early sobriety and the confusion you experienced. Someone’s love got you through it. Pass that along (“pay it forward”) and love the person now suffering. God is love, and if we are Christians and we are to reflect God’s image, then we must love those most in need of it.

No matter how difficult.

We conclude the daily novena with:

Official Prayer for the Canonization of Blessed Matt Talbot

“Lord, in your servant, Matt Talbot you have given us a wonderful example of triumph over addiction, of devotion to duty, and of lifelong reverence of the Holy Sacrament. May his life of prayer and penance give us courage to take up our crosses and follow in the footsteps of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Father, if it be your will that your beloved servant should be glorified by your Church, make known by your heavenly favours the power he enjoys in your sight. We ask this through the same Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.”

The source of these prayers is Circle of Prayer – Matt Talbot Intercedes for Alcoholics .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 9 of the Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Recovery

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All 7 Gifts of the Holy Spirit have been prayed for: Wisdom, Understanding, Knowledge, Counsel, Fortitude, Piety, and Fear of the Lord.

To round out the last day of the Pentecost novena for alcoholism I decided to petition for sobriety. It isn’t a gift of the Holy Spirit, but if you live according to the Spirit, it is a natural result.

Like in the previous days, we start with the prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Sobriety means much more than not drinking. Just like “peace” doesn’t mean “no war”. Sobriety means clear-headedness, a cool and balanced view of things. Faith going hand-in-hand with reason.

It is an emotional balance. As alcoholics we had a warped emotional interpretation of events and situations and our response was therefore as warped and imbalanced as our perceptions. Sobriety means that we have taught ourselves how to handle these situations. We retrained ourselves how to properly respond to stuff. A goodly dose of sincere humility, that there is a God and we’re not Him mixed with an ability to choose those things that we can change from those we can’t, and we have the beginnings of sobriety.

We maintain this sobriety through prayer, religious devotion, and spiritual growth; a balanced and respectful attitude towards people and things; and service to others. Twelve Step or alternative recovery programs may supplement these.

From 1 Peter 5: 8-9;

Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for (someone) to devour.
Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings.

Resist the alluring call of the drink, know that others are going through the same sufferings as you, regardless of the length of sobriety.

Oh, Holy Spirit, grant me sobriety. I ask you this in the name of Jesus, the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 8 of the Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Addiction

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Today for this novena we petition for Fear of the Lord.

As before, we start with the prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Fear is the misunderstood part of this gift. Fear is misunderstood to imply that God is a harsh, brutal unforgiving taskmaster that we should cower and cringe before in mortal terror.

Fear is perhaps better understood as meaning respect. We must respect the Lord our God who created us and sustains us throughout our lives and who decides when that life is over.

After receiving all of the other gifts of the Holy Spirit, we can understand that receiving fear of the Lord as not to be something, well, feared. A healthy, deep and loving respect for God is a natural result of the spiritual development and growth that devotion to the Holy Spirit brings.

Many alcoholics upon recovering reject organized religion as it is felt to be a sign of an unrelenting and unforgiving God. This is based on their past alcoholic relationship with the Church. The interesting thing is that in their recovery, at least according to the 12 Steps, they are to make amends to all they have hurt, to “clean up their side of the street” and to be open to healing all parts of their lives. But they (in my experience) leave out the Church. They harbor and nurture a lingering resentment towards the Church. To me this is a land mine waiting to explode. Regardless of one’s opinion on organized religion, to not heal all of your past alcoholic relationships is an incomplete recovery. This view of organized religion may ultimately poison a relationship with God.

To say that “I believe in God, but not religion”, is like saying “I believe in air, but not in breathing”.

Pray for a healthy, loving respect for God. It will affect all your relationships.

Oh, Holy Spirit, give me a deep and respectful fear of the Lord, our God ,who gave me life and sustains me though all my sufferings. I ask this in the name of Jesus, the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

When He was insulted, He returned no insult; when He suffered, He did not threaten

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A section of Scripture from last night’s Evening Prayer offers an excellent example on humble and sober living.

1 Peter 2 : 21-24;

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his footsteps.
“He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.”
When he was insulted, he returned no insult; when he suffered, he did not threaten; instead, he handed himself over to the one who judges justly.

Many times in our drinking past we dove into our bottle after an insult, either real or imagined. When we suffered, either from something done to us by others or by a self-inflicted wound, we drank.

As sober alcoholics and users we cannot react that way. We have to adopt a more humble manner of living and thinking.

Jesus knew that there is only one judge, God. Rather than taking matters into His own hands and lashing back at His accusers and dying anyway, He meekly accepted their attacks and fulfilled His mission on Earth.

This is not to say that we should be doormats in sobriety and allow injustices to be perpetrated against us.

In the chapter entitled “Acceptance was the Answer” in AA’s “Big Book” (aka Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, 2001; Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. New York), the author declares on page 420:

Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations … the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But them my “rights” try to move in, and they too can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my “rights,” as well as my expectations, by asking myself, “How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?…

So by asking the question: “How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?” we can perhaps justify certain situations when we have to defend our “rights”, bearing in mind the cost. The Serenity Prayer can offer guidance:

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

Anyway, some stuff to think about as we go about our day.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Gratitude

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Gratitude is wanting what you already have, and being thankful to God for it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception

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Today the Church celebrates the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I wrote about it in a previous post here , on the occasion of another day dedicated to Mary.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Rains, Floods and Wind

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From the Gospel reading for today’s Mass:

Matthew 7:21,24-27;

Jesus said to his disciples:“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’will enter the Kingdom of heaven,but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.

“Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came,and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock. And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand. The rain fell, the floods came,and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined.”

Being Christian is not a part-time thing, something to be done for an hour on Sundays or when it is convenient. It is supposed to be something that we are 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is supposed to guide us in all events and situations.

Jesus is implying this when He differentiates between those who hear His words and lives by them versus those who only listen. Those who live by His teachings survive the buffetings of life, all the storms that rage against us. Those who do not will not.

What house of faith do we build? Is in one built on rock, so that when we are buffeted by trials, temptations, troubles and tribulations we survive, because we rest in Jesus and His teachings? Or is it a house of faith built upon sand, so that when the least amount of trouble comes, it collapses and falls because we relied upon our own strengths?

The former is the faith we Christians are supposed to possess, the faith that endures whatever is tossed at us by life; the latter is the faith of convenience, the faith that on the outside seems sincere and devoted, but is abandoned in trying times. A faith that is crushed by life. That is a faith that isn’t strong, so that it’s possessor abandons it for the seeming comfort of an addiction or a secular solution.

One of my main character defects that seems to uncomfortably linger on despite 5 and a half years of sobriety is impatience, frustration, and annoyance. I lump them all together because they are all a symptom or offshoot of pride. “Why should I have to endure this trial, this delay and whatnot? Don’t you realize who I am?” And therefore when something happens that offends my sense of how things should be ordered for my convenience, I get impatient, annoyed, irritable and the like. I usually work through it and come out much the better, but the lag time between the thing that triggered my impatience, etc., and my acceptance lasts too long, it seems. Granted, my “working through it” helps me to grow spiritually, but still the example could be better and the results do not justify the means.

Anyway, humility is the usual antidote to pride. I have to remind myself of my proper place in the Universe (there is a God and I’m not Him, I’m just a sinner with a computer) and struggle to do better. I try to place in my mind a training method that recognizes these prideful triggers and nip them in the bud as soon as I can. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. I’m a sinner and I recognize that.

Humility is a major theme for this Advent season. The obvious counter to any prideful resentment over having to endure a situation is to remind ourselves that God humbled Himself to become like us, so as to to eventually pay the price of the crime we committed, that of Original Sin. Jesus’ birth and death were two humiliating circumstances that He did not have to undergo. But He did for love of us. This needs to be meditated upon again and again during this season. (We get to do it again in a few months when Lent begins.)

We listen to Jesus’s words and we live by them. We humbly accept whatever happens to us, and hopefully calmness will be the response and not frustration and impatience. We rest in Jesus. “Our hearts are restless until we rest in Him,” is either a Scriptural quote or a saying of a Saint, I can’t place it either way. It is a struggle to overcome our failings, but somehow we have to learn to live like another Christ. And living means to breathe, eat, drink, love and think. We can eat and drink of the Eucharist, and love and think through prayer.

Continue on your Advent journey of preparing for Christ’s arrival.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Mountain Climbing

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Psalm 24 recurs frequently in the daily prayer of the Church known as the “Liturgy of the Hours”. The following excerpt appeals to me:

Psalm 24:3-6;

Who may go up the mountain of the LORD? Who can stand in his holy place?
“The clean of hand and pure of heart, who are not devoted to idols, who have not sworn falsely.
They will receive blessings from the LORD, and justice from their saving God.
Such are the people that love the LORD, that seek the face of the God of Jacob.

That passage resonates with me as I regard the “mountain of the Lord” to be the goal of our life and sober existence. To me the “mountain” symbolizes the summit of our lives, that is to become closer to God by shedding our character defects and weaknesses and striving to progress spiritually by seeking to better understand the teachings of the Catholic Church and the Bible. Neither are easy to comprehend, constrained as we are by our human limitations.

Nevertheless, as we struggle to come into full communion with Church teachings and struggle to live by the Bible’s ways, we come closer to ascending the mountain of God. We shun idols (anything that distracts us from God or takes us away from Him) and we live honest, truthful lives (as best we can.)

Every moment or opportunity to better ourselves in accord with the Church and the Bible gets us closer to the summit of the mountain. We may never reach its zenith, but the point is that we are trying.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Have Mercy on me…

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The Responsorial Psalm from today’s Mass on the 24th Sunday in Ordinary Time is probably one of my favorites for when I desire a conversion of heart and need to repent of something horrible and get right with God.

Psalm 51:3-19;

Have mercy on me, God, in your goodness; in your abundant compassion blot out my offense.
Wash away all my guilt; from my sin cleanse me.
For I know my offense; my sin is always before me.
Against you alone have I sinned; I have done such evil in your sight That you are just in your sentence, blameless when you condemn.
True, I was born guilty, a sinner, even as my mother conceived me.
Still, you insist on sincerity of heart; in my inmost being teach me wisdom.
Cleanse me with hyssop, that I may be pure; wash me, make me whiter than snow.
Let me hear sounds of joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Turn away your face from my sins; blot out all my guilt.
A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit.
Do not drive me from your presence, nor take from me your holy spirit.
Restore my joy in your salvation; sustain in me a willing spirit.
I will teach the wicked your ways, that sinners may return to you.
Rescue me from death, God, my saving God, that my tongue may praise your healing power.
Lord, open my lips; my mouth will proclaim your praise.
For you do not desire sacrifice; a burnt offering you would not accept.
My sacrifice, God, is a broken spirit; God, do not spurn a broken, humbled heart.

Carefully go over each line of this excerpt and imagine it having a healing affect on you. You are a sinner, broken, bruised, come to be made aware of your sins. (The psalm was written by King David after his infidelity with Bathsheba was exposed. He had her husband killed in battle so he could be with her.) You feel that God Himself has rejected you because of what you did, or had done with your life up to this point.

This would be a good prayer to say when you complete your 4th Step moral inventory if you are in a 12 Step program. (The Fourth Step: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” From Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, New York: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., 2001; p.59. Also known as “The Big Book”)

The psalm describes a soul blackened with shame and guilt over wrongdoing, and describes a process where he turns to God, begs forgiveness and ask God to transform him into something he wasn’t before. All that the souls offers is sorrow, remorse and contrition, nothing else can make up for the deed, the soul offers up its own pain as a sacrifice.

This is basically all that we, as sobering alcoholics have to offer. We have nothing after we hit bottom and painfully turned our lives around. All we have is the wreckage of our life and the pain emanating from it. The healing of our pain by God due to our sincere remorse and contrition heals our souls and allows us to no longer be defined by our past.

Sacramental confession with a priest is necessary to remove the sins from your soul, but saying Psalm 51 helps prime you for that part of your healing.

I always feel better after saying this prayer, and I find the courage I need to go to Confession. When I say the psalm, I say it slowly and many times repeating a particular verse until I “feel something”, then I continue. If needed, I say the psalm again.

No matter how bad your sins, no matter how scarlet they are, there is no sin that God cannot forgive. Your sins are not stronger than God’s mercy. There is no debating this. No matter what you have done, God can and will, forgive.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)