Category Archives: Me

Daily Prayer routine

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Thanks to an email conversation with a reader, I thought it might be useful to divulge what I do concerning my prayer life, especially as it is central to my recovery within the Faith.

After I awaken each morning (waking up is key 😉 ) and get a mug of coffee firmly placed on a coaster on my prayer table, I begin my morning prayer and devotional routine.

First up: The Liturgy of the Hours. Also known as the Divine Office, this is the Official Prayer of the Catholic Church and involves Psalms, Canticles and Readings (Scriptural, Patristic and saint’s writings and such). If you wish to learn more, there’s the excellent “Coffee and Canticles” blog by Daria Sockey.

Next: the Chaplet of St. Maximilian Kolbe. I have been a member of his Militia of the Immaculata since 7 October 2002 (links in the sidebar) and over the past couple of years have seriously increased my devotion aand study of his life and writings.

Immediately afterwards is the Rosary.

About now is a second mug of coffee.

Then I use another prayer book: Prayers from the Heart: The Prayer Book of St. Maximilian Kolbe’s Militia of the Immaculata. Quote: “This booklet contains formal prayers dear to members of St. Maximilian Kolbe’s movement of Marian Consecration, the Militia of the Immaculata, but is a spiritual help for all Christians.” I use this for traditional prayers such as the Morning Offering, Acts of Faith, Hope and Charity, as well as some other Marian prayers and the like.

Then comes some readings from the Gospel or the Old Testament Wisdom books and then the classic “Imitation of Christ” by Thomas a Kempis.

Following this is a few minutes with some daily devotionals. These change over the years and therefore I won’t bother telling what I’m using now (perhaps in a separate blogpost?).

My morning routine usually takes 75 minutes. Evening is typically shorter, perhaps 15-20 minutes or so. Evening devotionals include the Evening Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours, and whatever I may have neglected in the morning due to running out of time.

There, that’s how i keep my head on straight each day. (Which reminds me, I had some blogposts with that phrase in the title. They’re an earlier description of my prayer life from about when I began SoberCatholic. Here: Keeping Your Head on Straight, Part 1 (Regular Daily Prayer) and here: Keeping Your Head on Straight, Part 2 (Regular Daily Prayer)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Sober Catholic’s TENTH Bloggaversary!

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It was ten years ago today that I published my first post on Sober Catholic, “Hi, I’m Paul, and I’m and Alcoholic!”

Nothing much else to say except I never really thought I’d still be doing this. My hopes and dreams regarding this were to hopefully reach out to those who were searching for some online alcoholism recovery work with a Catholic touch. Perhaps they were en route to leaving the Faith and were grasping for anything that might interest them in staying. Or maybe they left for any on a host of reasons, but read in Twelve Step literature advice about exploring the religion of their youth. Perhaps a community of “sober Catholics” or some such name might grow up around it. That hasn’t really happened, but that failure hasn’t convinced me to stop blogging here.

Ten years. Nearly 100 posts a year (which seems like a lot.)

I have no plans to stop: I’ll continue this until the Lord convinces me it’s time to logoff for good.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

My “Way” Obsession

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“Hi, my name is Paul, and I am a Wayaholic.”

I’m admitting to having developed an ongoing obsession interest in the movie, “The Way,” which I blogged about a few months ago, right here: “The Way-the Movie.”.

It is now about six months since I wrote that, I must have seen the film well over a dozen times. I’ve also gotten to scouring YouTube, and more recently, Gloria.tv for videos on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela.

I’ve even taken to putting the DVD into the player and watching some of the “scene selections” as a part of my morning devotions. (Just a few times… I was going to do that this morning but chose instead to write this.)

Tonight there will be a presentation at my home parish on the Camino. The dude who is the parish youth coordinator (or whatever his title is, he runs the youth programs) will be speaking on his Camino pilgrimage and will also be showing The Way. The whole thing is four hours long. (The movie is only two hours.)

I may go. I may not, I’ll see how I feel this evening. It’ll be strange for me to watch the movie with a bunch of others, I’ve only seen it alone in the wee hours of the morning. I may be interested in his pilgrimage experience, although I seriously doubt I’ll ever go and do it myself.

I just like the film, to me it and the Camino are symbols of the journey, the “trudging the road of happy destiny” we are all on. It’s an obvious trope, but obvious works for me quite often!

The film draws me out from “where I am” to somewhere most other films, including escapist stuff, doesn’t. And that may be why I may not go; the film is very personal and I’m not sure if I want to “share” the viewing experience with strangers. Just my melancholic/introverted personality…

{{{sigh}}} What to do… what to do…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Fifteen years…

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…ago I started attending AA meetings. Not sure as to the exact date, as I was unaware of the significance, but it may have been earlier in June.

A family member called the local AA number and found out where a meeting was. He had prior experience with the Fellowship as his father was in the program decades prior.

My then-employer had wanted me to go to a treatment facility if I wanted to keep my job. I declined.

They gave me thirty days to think about it. I thought about it and decided that if the job that was driving me to drink was the reward, they can forget about it…

Anyway, I barely remember the meeting save for Gene (the elder statesman of that Group) giving me my copy if the Big Book (the 3rd edition was the current one. The 4th edition came out six months later.)

As I’ve stated in previous “About Me” posts, I didn’t quite get the Program right away. It wasn’t until February 2002 that I stopped drinking and that wasn’t because I had an “awakening” or some such experience, but rather I was too sick and physically weak to make it to a liquor store. Or an AA meeting.

I suffered withdrawal and hallucinations and wound up in the local hospital for six days and a $10,500 bill I somehow paid off in about four years.

And then I went back out after 3 1/2 months!

That’s all. Just a personal reflection that occurred to me when I saw a calendar.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Posted in Me

A fortnight of years in sobriety

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Today marks my 14th anniversary of my last drunk. I sort of remember it, although for years I couldn’t recall the exact time (as in hour/minute) I took my last drink. I still can’t. I won’t bother with the details of my last drunk as I’ve written about them before.

Question: “How’d I do it?” Answer: “One day at a time!!” Well, there’s more to it than that, but in essence the twelve step practice of taking each day as it comes does help.

Sometimes I have to take each hour as it comes.

Speaking of the Twelve Steps, yes, they are useful. A wonderful lifeline when other things are absent or insufficient. (Absent or insufficient because they have not been developed enough as a response to external factors that may create a desire to drink.)

My Catholic Faith was and is more useful. I do know that if I had to rely solely upon the spirituality of the Twelve Steps and meeting attendance, I’d be one of those poster children for relapses; “those people” you see who enter the program, “get it” for a while, and then go back out.

Once in a while there are stressors. Anxiety, isolation, economic concerns and so forth well up and I think, “Just one drink to take the edge off.” But no, I don’t. I get through it (“One hour at a time, one minute at a time…”) and move on.

At times like those I also grab my AA literature (the Big Book or 12 & 12) and get help that way. Sometimes I feel the need for a meeting, but don’t bother (I seriously am NOT a meeting person. Never was, never will be. Online recovery works for me. I visit In the Rooms a lot.)

Sometimes when I feel that way, that my Faith and other personal means to maintain sobriety aren’t working, and I feel the need to fall back on traditional fixes like “going to a meeting” or “calling a sponsor” then I assess the state of my Faith. Sincerely, the Faith is all one should need.

Jesus came to heal the broken and wounded. The sick. We are all that and so His Church and the sacraments and devotions should work. They have, for me and for others that I’ve run across over the years. But at times they seem to be “not enough.”

But that isn’t an indictment of the Faith, or possibly not even my practice of it. There’s a list of saints very long who have gone through frequent periods of spiritual dryness, times when the Faith “wasn’t there.” They persevered and discerned that it was God’s way of drawing them closer. It is a path of spiritual growth and development (see St. Teresa of Jesus, a/k/a St. Teresa of Avila.) We feel distant and therefore we persevere and strive on, or we abandon the path.

I stay on the path. (This must be why images and symbols of “the path,” “the road,” “the way,” “the journey” resonate with me.)

I have come to feel that in those times when I feel the urge to drink is strong, and I need to respond in a traditional twelve step way, that I need to work on my Faith. I need to make a Spiritual Communion, or meditate on the Holy Spirit and His indwelling in me, or talk to the Blessed Mother. If this sounds selfish to you who are avid and devoted Twelve-Steppers, so be it. For the most part, my experience with AA has been at variance with the common conception of a “fellowship.” It’s just one more organization where I am a misfit, despite trying.

To me, AA and meeting attendance are training wheels or a crib. Eventually you outgrow them. You learn to ride on your own without the help of training wheels, and you move out of the crib. Useful to understand alcoholism and get the basics of Twelve Step spirituality and how to change your way of thinking and responding to situations, but after a fashion, one should learn what the Faith has to offer.

We were created by God. We exist to love Him and serve Him in this life and to be united and happy with Him forever in the next life (Heaven.) To get through this life He has established a Church to guide us.

We are obligated and we owe Him the duty to fully explore that Church and the Faith that springs up around Her. This does not mean leaving AA, if that suits your sobriety and you really enjoy it, then fine. It can be considered a work of mercy. Perhaps even a source for friendships.

But working within a Twelve Step program shouldn’t come at the expense of your Catholic Faith; that is like continuing to eat pureed baby food when the bread of life is readily available.

That’s all I have to say! I’ve just been very reflective on my fourteen years, where I’ve been, am now and where I’m going, along with the means for the way.

Just trudgin’ my road of happy destiny.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Mother Angelica of EWTN dies, Easter Sunday 2016

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Mother Angelica, the Poor Clare nun who founded EWTN, died today. She was 92.

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(Image via EWTN Facebook Page)

Mother Angelica was, to say the least, a significant factor in my reversion to the Catholic Church in 2002. It was a process that stretched over several years, but ultimately came to fruition when I was felled by my alcoholism and would up doing nothing but laying on my Mom’s couch for weeks on end as I was too ill to go anywhere and do anything. Mom watched EWTN every morning, mainly the Daily Mass and several devotional programs, particularly the Divine Mercy Chaplet. All of that, as well as Father Angelus Shaughnessy’s homilies and Father Benedict Groeschel’s programs. These all helped me straighten out my thinking.

My Mom had taught the Divine Mercy Chaplet to me during the years before my reversion and recovery. I think Mom knew something wasn’t quite right concerning my relationship to the Church, but she never said anything. Maybe she just taught it to me because I didn’t know it. Whatever, God knew, though! Mother Angelica’s broadcast of the Divine Mercy Chaplet devotion as well as the annual Divine Mercy Sunday celebrations from Eden Hill, MA slowly drew me back home. Although I wasn’t practicing the Faith, the annual Divine Mercy Sunday telecast was an annual event. I actually looked forward to it. The seeds were planted and slowly took root. Alcohol masked the interior growth. When I finally succumbed to it, being too physically weak to go anywhere, exposure to EWTN finally brought the Faith out from the dark nether regions of my soul where it had lain dormant.

Mother Angelica and EWTN helped me a lot in early recovery when I knew AA’s 12 Steps weren’t going to be enough. I had looked at them, thought them interesting and valuable, but felt they were at the shallow end of the spiritual pool. I needed something deeper. EWTN illustrated to me that Catholicism wasn’t something that you did for an hour on Sunday, but was a way of life, infusing your heart and mind with a manner of living and thinking that draws you closer to God, and ultimately, to our true Home, Heaven.

She had much to say about how to apply the Faith to daily living. Several books of hers directly dealt with problems and coping and just “How do I get through this…life…?” I have them all.

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(Image courtesy of EWTN)

EWTN has a full scedule of events this week, including her funeral, listed on their: Memorial site on Mother Angelica. The site also has much information on her life and work.

See also: CNA’s Schedule of Events on Mother Angelica

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Lent is continuing…

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I just wrote something that will appear on March 9th, and in doing so noticed it has been nearly a month since my last post (Ash Wednesday). This isn’t an apology for not posting, (I don’t do that anymore.) but Lent has been typically a month when I post more often than not.

On the one hand time slipped by a little fast (I didn’t realize it had been a month.) On the other, I’ve been busy doing Lent-y things. Trying to make “spiritual progress,” and succeeding and failing, but trudging on nevertheless. Following up on my Year of Mercy desire to develop a greater appreciation for Divine Mercy, and reading much on it. Recently this involved skimming through previously read books on and by Dorothy Day and the Catholic Worker Movement and jotting down books she read or were popular with the CW movement back in the 1930s – 1950s. I figure they’re all public domain and hence possibly available online to download for my Kindle. (Some are, most aren’t. But my wife recently posted a like that lists Free books: 100 legal sites to download literature. So, I plan to be really busy scouring them for books! Day and the CW Movement are important to learn about during this Year of Mercy as they are an excellent example of applied “Works of Mercy.”

The Corporal Works of Mercy:

To feed the hungry.
To give drink to the thirsty.
To clothe the naked.
To shelter the homeless
To visit the sick.
To visit the imprisoned
To bury the dead.

The Spiritual Works of Mercy:

To instruct the ignorant.
To counsel the doubtful.
To admonish sinners.
To bear wrongs patiently.
To forgive offences willingly.
To comfort the afflicted.
To pray for the living and the dead.

I hope your Lent is going well.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Remember the lonely and the lost…

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Today is Christmas, the Solemnity of the Nativity of the Lord. For many people it is a happy day, a time for family gatherings with lots of food and gifts and good times with memories to last.

For others, not so much.

Remember those who are lost today. Those who are lonely, have no family, or if they do, are estranged from them. Those who wander about with no hope.

Remember those who are homeless.

Remember those who are jobless and have to endure the humiliation of that state when they gather with family. Being unemployed anytime is horrible enough, but around the holidays it can be particularly embarrassing and humiliating. The personal degradation that you feel while among family members and they know you are out of work. They look at you, speak to you…

Remember those who have to work today…

Remember those who are just going through a rough time; a time of transition and change. The worst Christmas I ever had was ten years ago, Christmas Day 2005. My Mom had died in early November and just before Christmas the executor of her estate informed me that I had to get out of the house (I had been living with Mom for the previous ten years) so the estate can move forward with the sale. I suppose that if I had thought about it at the time I might have coped better, being forced to move might have made me meditate and ponder on the homelessness and wanderings of the Holy Family as they were on the move for the census mandated by the Emperor. Not to put my situation on a par with theirs at all, but the issue could have been handled with far more compassion.

But the executor had little use for compassion and understanding as they are merely baggage that reminds one of your own humanity.

And so after being told that I had to leave within thirty days, I drove about the county in a suicidal mood. The roads were icy and snowy and I was seeking out an appropriate place to ditch the car with me in it in a fatal accident. The “eviction” was the last straw; having been a punching bag for the executor and held with cold indifference by certain other family members was enough. This nearly broke me. I did have the presence of mind to call my priest who “just happened to know someone” who might have an apartment to rent. He did, and so I spent Christmas Day 2005 moving, hauling carload after carload of possessions across town. Alone, just me, as there was no one available to assist.

I knew “aloneness.”

I apologize for the downer post on Christmas, but perhaps you can spend a few moments thinking about those who are spending Christmas in a situation not at all similar to a warm and rosy holiday setting. Offer something up to help them cope.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

From sudden and unprovided death, deliver us, O Lord

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I learned today that an online friend died when she was hit by a truck while crossing a street. She passed away later at the hospital. She received Last Rites before she died.

The suddenness of any death typically provokes a reaction of shock and dismay. Someone is there, and then suddenly gone. The quickness is a reminder that we, too, can suddenly be “called home.” We know not the day nor the hour of our passing. We must always be prepared as if today will be our last. But who really does this?

The suddenness of someone’s death also provokes another reaction: that of a desire to quickly think about the living and how we never really appreciate them while they are still with us. I suppose that this is essentially taking people for granted, but I also think that it is a symptom that we do not have death always in mind. It is always a distant, abstract thing. We know it will happen, we prefer not to think about it.

So, death is a distant thing from our minds and the permanence of people in our lives is assumed.

I think if we reverse this on both notions then culture and civilization will be far more peaceful and compassionate.

Incidentally, the lady who died was in recovery, she had purchased both of my Catholic devotional books and enjoyed them, bringing them frequently to Adoration to meditate with. So, her death was a little sensitive for me. I am truly saddened by her loss.

NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, some edited, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Catholic New Evangelization Guide: Share your Faith with the World

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Miriam Westen, editor of Catholic News World has recently published a new book entitled: Catholic New Evangelization Guide: Share your Faith with the World. The reason I’m mentioning this is that I have a chapter in it!

Chapter 8 in by yours truly and it is about “Using the New Evangelization to Reach Out to Those Trapped in Sin.” Lots of handy ideas on using social media and technology to help other sinners like yourself.

From the CreateSpace Page: “Catholic New Evangelization Guide – Is an Amazing Book for Everyone! It has Conversion and Evangelization stories from people of different backrounds. Offering insights on History, the Church, Youth, Music, Motherhood, Priestly, Seminarian, Alcoholism, Social Media, Education and more! Makes a great Gift for Anyone! Especially your Church family.”

I’m covering the “alcoholism” angle. Buy it! Buy several, give them out as gifts! Christmas is coming in a few months!

And speaking of buying books as gifts:

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)