Category Archives: Me

Thirteen years sober

Posted on by

Thirteen years ago today I sobered up. I took my last drink on the evening of May 22, 2002. If I can get sober, so can you. I’ve probably mentioned this before in various “soberversary” posts and drunkalogues, but I was not exactly the poster child for early recovery. I only attended AA meetings for the first seven months of meeting attendance so I can get out of my old house and visit a liquor store. I also needed the booze to get courage for sharing at meetings. Yep, there I was, exhorting new members that “AA works if you work it!” while slurring my words and then returning to my nap on the room’s couch. I did arrive at meetings drunk. My sponsor had told me that there was some consideration given to banning me from meetings due to my behavior. Never happened as by that time I temporarily stopped going to meetings because I was physically unable to leave my house. I wound up in the hospital for 6 days with DTs and hallucinations. I returned to AA all sober, only to relapse 3 1/2 months later.

So no, I was clearly NOT a shining example of early recovery behavior. But eventually something took hold, and I stopped drinking, never really had any burning desire to drink except for the occasional, wistful wish that I could have a beer on a hot summer day now and then, or maybe red wine in the evening. But such thoughts are readily dismissed.

I do say that while AA helped in providing a basic understanding of alcoholism and much need specific tools to address “how to handle sobriety,” it is my Catholic Faith that keeps my head together. Regular readers if this blog know that. New readers can explore the post categories and learn!

Today is also the Feast day of St. Rita of Cascia. I am running late to get ready for work, so I’ll post about her tonight when I get home; but she is a appropriate saint for this soberversary day of mine as she is regarded as the “patron saint of impossible cases.”

That described me perfectly in “early sobriety.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Posted in Me

My Eighth Year of Trudging this Road

Posted on by

Time for my annual self-congratulatory post, announcing yet another year completed in blogging here. I started this on January 5, 2007. “Happy Bloggaversary to me!” I don’t blog as often as I should, but then again, this isn’t a full-time paying job; something else has to pay the bills. Plus, I’m married and there’s a house and stuff. 🙂 Nevertheless, I hope whomever reads this blog appreciates it, and that you find it useful as you trudge your own sober Catholic road.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

My 2015 Resolutions

Posted on by

I don’t make resolutions, namely because I’ll never keep them. Except for some fundamental basic convictions, I do not “resolve” to do anything just to start off the year. I also think that making resolutions on January 1st elevates the secular year above the Church’s Liturgical year, which began a month ago with Advent.

If I were to make any, I’d resolve to clean up “unresolved” projects I wanted to do for this blog. In no particular order: blog my way throught Paslm 119, blog my way through the Wisdom Books (a tall order, at least maybe I can make a beginning), finish up the Works of Mercy posts I started in (I think) 2012. If I remember correctly, I mentioned way back in 2007 when I began this blog that I’d write about connecting the Twelve Steps to the Liturgical year. I have notes on that somewhere. Also, some major posts on Confession as encompassing the Twelve Steps. Maybe, just maybe, one post a month on each of the Steps, perhaps “Catholicizing” each. Oh, and the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatious of Loyola. I started something on those a few years ago, but like the rest, never finished as the Exercise are difficult to do on one’s own. I am going to try them again, solo, but based on how my life is currently organized, I may be able to complete them. It has been said that the Twelve Steps are rooted in the Exercises, if so, and if I can complete them, I can focus on them for the future rather than the actual Steps.

But all that is only if I did resolutions. 😉

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

But I’m not drinking over it (UPDATED)

Posted on by

I live in western New York State, in the USA, and this past week we’ve been suffering through a near-Apocalyptic snowstorm. Depending upon the location, various areas have received at least three to seven feet of snow (that’s one to over two meters).

All over the area, people are coming together to offer assistance; neighbors helping neighbors, not waiting for the government to help (which is admittedly limited and strained due to the severe conditions). Facebook in particular has been extremely helpful in this grassroots mutual aid effort; there are several Groups formed with the express purpose of organizing and coordination offers of help with requests for aid.

I can’t do much, trapped in my house. All I am doing is posting and resharing links and the like.

But, the point of this post is that I am a sober alcoholic and I don’t want a drink.

Not at all.

And I have an 800 foot (250m) long driveway buried in 3-5+ feet of snow that’s probably too hard for our snowplow friend to plow with his pickup. And he drives plows for the town, and so he’s been working around the clock plowing township streets, so who knows if/when he’ll be available?

And I haven’t been to work in a week. And I may not get paid for this week unless I either use whatever vacation/personal time I have remaining, or otherwise hope we all qualify for FEMA funds (if/when they become available) and that covers lost wages or perhaps if the State Labor Dept has some form of Unemployment Insurance for the week. And there’s no guarantee I can get out of my driveway on Tuesday when I’m next scheduled to go to work. 

And I have to worry about our roof collapsing what with all the snow on it, getting heavier with the added rain expected today/tomorrow.

And I have to be concerned about water. We get ours from a well, but that tastes strange despite being fit for consumption. And so we get drinkable water in jugs, which are getting low. I’ve taken to collecting snow and boiling it to use for my own purposes (i.e. COFFEE) so that my wife can have the good water. We have been wanting to get one of those “Big Berkey Water Filter” contraptions to ease our dependence on this, but money is stretched.

And I have to worry about power outages; what with all the snow out there, and the expected rain, trees may collapse, pulling down power lines.

And I have no need for a drink, nor even want one.

I am not a martyr, so don’t interpret this to be, “See what a good ex-drunk I am.” Not a boast, just a statement of facts to perhaps inspire others who have issues and things and they reach for a drink to ease the suffering. this is what happens a lot in AA meetings; people discuss their issues, and declare “I didn’t have to take a drink over it.”

UPDATE: The snow is almost gone; almost right after the storm ended, temperatures started to rise and much of the snow melted. Although we had difficulty in getting out of the driveway, we managed. The friend of ours who I mentioned does our plowing isn’t able to for the time being as his pickup with the plow has something wrong with it. Hopefully this winter won’t be bad and weather cooperates and we can get out when we need to.

There was another “warm up” yesterday; you’ll never know that there was a major snowstorm a few weeks ago, although there are signs of it in fallen trees and tree limbs. Some areas were hit by heavy flooding, be we didn’t suffer that.

I should get paid for the week I lost at work; my boss said he will submit a request to use my available vacation or personal time (I was planning on asking him to do that, so it’s all good!)

And thus the appeal I had included in the original post isn’t needed, but I’ll remind you in case you’re encouraged to support the work of this blog that there’s a PayPal link up top, right below Matt Talbot’s picture, where you can donate money. I do wish to thank those who did donate, your contributions will be put to good use. Prayers are always appreciated, too!

Thank you!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

EWTN’s Fr. Groeschel passed away

Posted on by

Father Benedict Groeschel, CFR, 81, died at St. Joseph’s Home for the elderly in Totowa, New Jersey, USA at 11PM on October 3, 2014, after a long illness. He was a noted author, speaker, psychologist, and spiritual director familiar to many from his shows and appearances on EWTN as well as from his numerous books.

Fr. Groeschel was very important in my reversion to the Catholic faith, as well as on how I maintained my sobriety. Although he wasn’t an alcoholic or an addict, he was a psychologist with a unique insight into things that I found applicable to addiction recovery. Perhaps this was also due to him being a priest. It was  his recognizing our fallen nature and the manifestations of that nature within our minds and “inordinate attractions” that inspired me to buy and read a great number of his books. He ministered to that fallen nature, appropriate for a priest, but with his added psychology credentials.

Many of his books dealt with spiritual development, growing closer to God and just “coping.” Coping with death and grief. Coping with daily trials and troubles. Hence why I feel that if you’re a Catholic in recovery from addictions of any sort, start getting his books.

I learned much from his books and television appearances on the healing power of Catholicism, from her Sacraments to prayer life and devotions to spiritual reading and the like.

As we see in the Gospel of Jesus according to Mark:

{2:17} Jesus, having heard this, said to them: “The healthy have no need of a doctor, but those who have maladies do. For I came not to call the just, but sinners.”

via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.

Fr. Groeschel was a wonderful example of this.

Information on his death, memorial services, a Facebook Group in his memory and where donations can made is found here: Statement On Father Groeschel by the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Today is my sobriety date!

Posted on by

Today is my sobriety date! Twelve years ago today was my last drunk. I have frequently tried to figure out the hour at which I took my last drink, but this only serves to keep fresh the memory of the last day.

I had a brief bout with sobriety before, having stopped in early February 2002, only to relapse 3 1/2 months later. I remember having two conflicting feelings simultaneously in my head, that of a euphoria over not having had a drink since February, and that of impending doom over some situation that I won’t bother explaining.

And then with these feelings, I found myself in a liquor store, and I bought a pint of cheap vodka. This was, in a perverse way, an improvement as before I would typically buy the huge 1.75 liter jugs. Sometimes two, one for each hand to keep myself balanced as I wandered to my car.

After two weeks of drinking I stopped. I duly reported my relapse at my old Home Group on May 21st, which was hard not to as I had read “How It Works” with a slurred voice. The next day I walked out of the meeting as two people showed up and said it was their first AA meeting ever. I didn’t want to participate as I felt like a hypocrite, having relapsed. I went to a liquor store, bought a liter of vodka, and that was that.

So, for what it’s worth, May 22, 2002 was my last drunk. What followed was 88 hours of zero sleep whatsoever, and hallucinations peppering the whole period.

But I emerged through it and my drinking days were over.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A return to regular AA meeting attendance

Posted on by

This post is overdue, but a while back I had mentioned that I was returning to regular Twelve Step meeting attendance. I delayed writing this in detail just to see if it would stick, and lo and behold, it did. So, here goes:

Why did I return? Partially due to circumstance. Although I have been sober for almost 12 years (my sobriety date is tomorrow the 22nd, actually) and have had a very good sobriety that I’ll stack up against anyone’s, my periods of “sobriety” were increasingly interrupted by periods of merely “not drinking.” In other words, the RIDs were on the rise. RID in AA parlance means “restless, irritable and discontented.” It refers to a sobriety that is troubled.

Although I was in no real danger of relapsing, at first I turned to just picking up AA’s “Big Book,” and flipped through a chapter at random. And although I have read the Big Book before, maybe twice through in its entirety, and afterwards mostly just chapters at random, this chapter seemed different! It was like someone had rewritten it!

Upon investigation in the online recovery sites I mentioned in the post linked to above, this is not a rare happening. Others have experienced it, too. It usually means that the reader has gone through quite a bit of spiritual development and changes since the last time that chapter was read.

Well, no kidding!

Anyway, so I figured I’ll try face-to-face AA again, this time find a meeting and stick with it for a while. Luckily, I did not have to try too many meetings. This one is a good Group, and I’ve already made it my Home Group. Yes, I now have a Home Group after 10 years! It is rather large, and after the typical opening rituals and announcements they break up into four smaller groups: two beginner meetings, one covering Steps 1-3, the other focusing on Steps 4-9; a Big Book/Step Discussion meeting; and the general discussion table. I’ve been going to the Steps 1-3 beginner’s meeting, as I feel the need to get back to the basics.

I am only attending one meeting a week, and at 52 meetings a year this means a 5200% increase in my annual attendance. (For those bad at math, since 2004 I’ve averaged one meeting a year, except for the period around my Mom’s death in late 2005.) It is a Thursday night closed group for men. I had long thought of attending this particular one, and so I finally used this as an excuse to try it. I liked it, and now feel I probably should have tried it years ago. My experience with it is somewhat different from my original AA experience, where I sobered up from 2002-2004.

By no means does this discount anything I have written during these past seven years on Sober Catholic regarding the effectivess and worthiness of Catholic spirituality, sacramental life and devotions in maintaining one’s sobriety. As I had inferred, I have been attending on average one AA meeting a year for nine years, thereabouts. My Catholic Faith had kept my head together during all this time.

But perhaps the scalpel-like precision and focus that AA can bring to certain issues that alcohol served as a crutch for in the past was needed. I feel no need to attend more than this meeting; it is enough.

Maybe my Catholic Faith is not an issue, perhaps it is me. Maybe I haven’t “progressed spiritually” enough in the Faith to feel the full healing power of the Sacraments and the graces from Jesus, the Divine Healer. I truly do feel that ideally, religion alone can fully heal one of addictions. If the sacraments are life-giving, and all Masses are “healing Masses” (which is true, when you think of it) and the power of the Word of God to transform your life is possible, then perhaps my return to AA is more a weakness of mine, and not of the Faith.

No matter. Perhaps it isn’t any of those. Maybe I’m supposed to return for other reasons. Time will tell. But for now, I’m back in AA, at least on Thursday nights and in my daily morning meditations.

The focus of this blog won’t change. Catholicism will still be the primary inspiration. But there may be an uptick the the references to Twelve Step spirituality and AA.

Please feel free to offer thoughts and opinions in the comments…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

I’ve been interviewed on “Addiction Blog!”

Posted on by

Lee Weber, the editor and manager of Addiction Blog (where “‘a’ is for addiction” 😉 ) recently conducted an email interview with me! The link to it is right here:

INTERVIEW with Sober Catholic on Addiction Blog.

So, wander on over there and take a look! Lee will also feature the interview next week on the Addiction Blog Facebook Page.

At Lee’s request I’ve added two links to Christian posts on AB. See:

Christian drug addiction recovery posts on Addiction Blog.

Christian posts on Addiction Blog.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Online Recovery (UPDATED)

Posted on by

Although many people live for their traditional face-to-face meetings, others prefer the relative privacy and convenience of “at home” recovery through online sites

Here’s a rundown of two of these sites that I’ve joined, with links to my profiles so that if you’d like to join up, you can “Friend me” there.

“In the Rooms” is probably my favorite, as it is a full-blown social network like Facebook. Most addictions with a 12 Step approach have “Fellowships” there that you can also join. One great thing is that there are 12 Step video meetings almost around the clock, so that no matter where you live on Earth, chances are there’s a meeting somewhat convenient to your time zone. There are also hundreds of “Speaker Tapes” of well-known and not-so-well-known recovery speakers for listening or downloading (as mp3 files). “Dr. Paul,” the man who wrote my favorite chapter in AA’s “Big Book,” entitled “Acceptance was the Answer, (formerly “Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict”) is in the Speaker Tape archive! There is a lot of activity on ITR, and so you’re quite likely to find someone to interact with throughout the day. They also have various resource directories for treatment facilities and other things of interest to people in recovery, including a face-to-face meeting directory. I don’t think the latter is as exhaustive or comprehensive like the meeting directory you’d find on the AA main site. But it is a nice touch. Here is my profile on “In The Rooms”.

Another one that I joined based on a recommendation from a friend on ITR is “Hazelden’s Social Community.” Hazelden is the renowned treatment center in Minnesota, as well as the publisher of numerous books and daily meditations for people in recovery. It offers much that ITR has, with its own unique offerings, too. It is rather active, although I do find that site navigation is a little awkward. But I think it is worth learning, and after all, it is run by Hazelden. If you’ve been in recovery for a number of years, chances are you have at least one of their books, probably “Twenty-four Hours a Day.” Here is my profile on “Hazelden’s Social Community”.

So, take a look at them and I hope to see there!

NOTE: This post has been edited to remove the paragraph to the “Sober Recovery” and “OneHealth” (formerly “SoberCircle” and now “Viverae Health.”) sites. Links in the sidebar to them have also been removed.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Happy Seventh Bloggaversary to me!

Posted on by

Can’t believe I’ve kept this thing going for 7 years.

Originally hosted on Google’s Blogspot servers using the Blogger blog blogging blog-thing, I moved it to its own domain in June 2010.

Please click on these words to visit this blog’s Facebook Page for things not posted here; and click on THESE words right here to visit its Google+ Page to see stuff posted there.

Thanks for reading!

Oh, yeah, I have books:

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)