Trudging Paulcoholic's Road

I’ve added a new blog to my repertoire, a new endeavor by myself to explore a more personal path of my sober journey. While Sober Catholic is about how to use the Catholic Faith and spirituality to maintain you sobriety, Trudging Paulcoholic’s Road will be of a more personal nature. Based on the focus and development of Sober Catholic, I was uncomfortable with exploring how my conversion and sobriety affected me. The blog was about Catholicism, not me. “Trudging Paulcoholic’s Road” will be the other way around, it will be about my relationship with the Faith and how I use it in reacting to things in a sober way.

The first post is up.

I hope you enjoy it. It shouldn’t affect my writing for this blog.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Sober anniversary

At about this time six years ago (May 22, 2002, not sure exactly the hour) I had my last drink.

It was vodka, cheap and seemingly necessary. I had relapsed a week or two before after only 3 1/2 months of sobriety, and had embarrassed myself at an AA meeting the day before. At most AA meetings someone reads a selection from the “How It Works” chapter of AA’s basic text “Alcoholic Anonymous”. I slurred my words and it was quite clear I was under the influence. That day’s topic was me and relapsing.

The next day I went back to that AA meeting and it was a newcomer’s meeting. I felt like a hypocrite telling 2 new people how the 12 Steps helped me so I walked out and stopped off at a liquor store before going home. I finished the bottle that night.

What followed were 88 hours of insomnia and hallucinations. I wrote about it last year in a post here . The changes in my life since that post have been astonishing. I met a lady, moved to be near her, married her and found a rewarding job.

I guess “hope” is the operative word here. There is hope if you stick it out.

No matter how good or how bad, drinking is never an option.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A hopefully brief hiatus (or, Still Here, Part 2)

A few weeks ago I wrote this post about little posting activity.

This is to announce that Sober Catholic is gong on a brief hiatus, only until after my wedding this March 29th and after our internet service is switched over to a new provider. I may blog a little from my fiancee’s (or wife’s!) computer, but will probably be too busy setting up house and completing my move. In addition, I may be signed up for some additional training for my new job, that may begin next week, a few weeks earlier than originally planned by the company. I will have to study for this.

The stress has actually eased up.

I shall see you all again by Mid-April. Keep meditating on the Daily Mass readings!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Still here

In case anyone has missed this blog, I haven’t disappeared.

March 2008 has so far been an interesting month, and mostly for the right reasons.

I am getting married on March 29, and a few weeks ago I started a new full-time job. So I am adjusting to these two realities. I look forward to getting married very much, and I thoroughly enjoy my new job.

I have had the time to blog, I just haven’t had the energy to apply myself. I have one more Rosary Meditation for the Sorrowful Mysteries to write, and I can’t come up with anything that should see the blogosphere. I would like to get through the Glorious Mysteries for Easter, but that may not happen. I had also hoped to write Stations of the Cross Meditations.

I am (once again) sorry that certain fundamental changes in my life have interrupted the postings and development of this blog. That seems to have happened a lot since October 2007. At the very least, they can provide some hope to anyone still struggling with alcoholism or any other addiction that things do get better. It may take a while, but there is hope. Things do get better. After nearly 6 years of sobriety (with some major shocks and traumas to my system, such as a death in 2005 and a deep-seated rift in my family) I am getting married. I have found a decent paying and rewarding job. It’s just that putting the pieces together in a sober person’s new life isn’t an easy ride.

This blog may go on hiatus again. I will be moving around the beginning of April. I will be moving in with she-who-will-by-that-time be-my-wife. Not sure at this point if we will be living in her house, or somewhere else. The plan was to move into her house, but there has been some uncertainties suddenly developing regarding that. Details are unimportant but I will either be spending a lot of my time these next few weeks continuing the rehabilitation of parts of her house, or finding someplace else to live. Anyway, like last November and December, Internet service may be interrupted. My fiancee has Internet, but we will be switching to a different service provider and I am not sure how long (of even if) service will be off, it all depends on the move. So if there is very infrequent blogging over the next month, that’s why.

Once again, one great thing to do besides re-reading old posts is to read and pray about the Daily Mass Readings found in the link in the upper right. The inspired writers of the Bible are much better than I. Read them, and try to figure out how to apply them to living. That is what I did in my very early years of sobriety, and that habit lead to me writing this blog which quite often is about the Daily Mass Readings.

I am going through no small amount of stress, both the good and the bad kind. That also has taken it’s toll on the blog. When I’m not working at my new job or doing something nice with my fiancee, I am surfing all over the Internet as an escape. Perhaps an inappropriate response, but at least I didn’t return to drinking. Back in the day, I would drink because things got better, or drink because things got worse. I would drink to feel better, or drink to nurse or sustain resentments. Nice weather, bad weather, didn’t matter. And I am going through a lot of things which in the past would have driven me to drinking. It just shows that I also still have a lot to learn about alcoholism and spiritual development. The fact that I haven’t returned to drinking means that I also have learned a lot about those things, and about myself. I just have to fine tune things.One day at a time.

At any rate, like I said last Winter when I put this blog on hiatus to do a move, this blog isn’t going anywhere. It will be back and I really, really, hope that by May I can develop a regular routine.

Bear with me and pray for me, please.

Oh, one last thing, if anyone had hoped that I would blog a lot during Lent, what with this blog’s emphasis on interior conversion coinciding very nicely with this season’s focus, fear not! There is another Lent coming up later this year! There is another 40 day period on the Church calendar where you can invest in penitential practices and more deeply focus on your conversion! That period is the 40 days from the Transfiguration to the Triumph of the Cross. I’m too lazy to look up the actual dates, but I think that’s August 6 to September 15. It isn’t mentioned much by the Church, I only got the connection from some daily devotional I used to read. But when you figure that the Transfiguration of Jesus on Mt. Tabor was just a few days before His final journey to Jerusalem, culminating with His Resurrection later, you have to wonder why the Church placed the Transfiguration feast and the Triumph of the Cross feast 40 days apart. Anyway, I will attempt to take the Lenten Daily Mass Readings that I missed, and blog about them then. Attempt, because I will no longer promise anything for this blog until I deliver it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

blog update

Sorry much has not been written recently.

I have been interviewing for a new job, which I got! I start this next Wednesday.
A better and more fulfilling job (full-time, too) than the previous one. I shall now be working for the MR/DD population (mentally retarded/developmentally disabled) cared for by a Catholic social services agency.
This next week I hope to continue the Rosary meditations I began and hoped to finish months ago. I plan to start writing the “Sorrowful Mysteries” sometime this weekend. Next week, maybe, I hope to start meditations on the “Stations of the Cross”, a traditional, ancient Catholic devotion usually done in parishes on Fridays during Lent.

I hope you have been reading and praying about the Daily Mass Readings.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Posted in Me

The Four Last Things

I’ve started another blog, entitled “The Four Last Things.” It can be found  here .

It is about the four last things that we all will face: Death, Judgement, Heaven or Hell. Topics not often brought up in recovery meetings.

The first  post tells all about it.

UPDATE: The “Four Last Things” blog has been shuttered. Please see “R.I.P.”. For why I did it: “The Future of the Four Last Things Blog.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Sober Catholic is Back!! (Really this time!)

As of yesterday, January 10th, I finally got Internet connection at my new residence. My move is mostly over, just a few boxes to unpack, but at least the premature announcement  of a return to regular blogging made here can finally be realized.

Sorry for the delay, but I should be on at least as often as I was before my relocation started in October 2007, maybe hopefully daily.
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Posted in Me

Mary Christ Mass

I have been rather busy of late with stuff pertaining to my upcoming wedding (March 29, 2008) and other sundry holy day activities. So once again I have been away, complicated by the move I mentioned in the “Sober Catholic is Back!!!” post a few weeks ago. I should be in the new place at the end of this, and as soon as I transfer my phone there I shall order broadband Internet service. So by a few days after New Year’s I should be back to “regular” posting. I have been as frustrated as maybe some of you have been. My announcement of my return was premature, to say the least.

Anyway, this is just a greeting to all Sober Catholic readers, thank you for sticking with the blog despite its irregularity since mid-October 2007. I hope everyone has a safe and sober Christmas.

I honestly hope to resume this regularly within a couple of weeks. I’m bursting with posts.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Sober Catholic is Back!!

After a delay of a few weeks, I am able to announce that I am back to blogging.

The long version of the story (there is no short version):

I relocated in October to be closer to my girlfriend, who I met in an online Catholic dating website. This was facilitated by my finding a job in early October.

So far, so good. Unfortunately (or not, depending upon how you look at it) I had to begin this job right away. So for a few weeks I had to split time between staying in my old place (200 mi/320 km East of her) and in accommodations near her. The weekly 3.5 hour commute was tiring and my free time in the old place was spent boxing up and packing, not blogging.

When I was able to find an apartment (which took up my time while I was in my new area) I thought I would be able to resume blogging by early November. But no! My girlfriend’s sister had decided that she no longer liked the details and situations involved with home ownership and wanted to move out of her house. She offered to rent her house to me at a fraction of the mortgage, with the notion that after my girlfriend and I marry in early-ish 2008 she’d move in (as wives do tend to live with their husbands!) and we’d pay the rest of the mortgage. Good deal. But, there was some misunderstanding or miscommunication about when I can move into the house, and although I thought I’d be living there by the end of November, it turns out that it won’t be until towards the end of December.

While I was under the original understanding of a November move, I decided that I wouldn’t bother with turning on all the utilities as I would be leaving in a few weeks anyway. So no gas heat or Internet at the new apartment. I didn’t want to go through the whole unpacking and setting up of my Mac for just a short period. I’m not that much of a computer geek concerning hardware. I could have blogged from my girlfriend’s computer, but she has an old “1990’s style”, dial-up connection 🙂 and I didn’t want to tie up her phone line for the hours that I would be on. An alternative was to have written blogposts offline an uploaded them later, but I chose not to do that.

Perhaps that was a bad decision, but I’m sticking with it as in all honesty, I’m not sure that I could have focused on Sober Catholic as much as I’d like to. So I’d just login to Blogger once in a while and write a short post to let anyone interested that I’m still alive and that the blog will return. I figured that new Sober Catholic readers would just spend the time getting caught up with old posts and older readers re-reading them, as many are long. Or everyone would avail themselves with exploring all the links in the sidebar as I occasionally exhort readers to do. After all, Sober Catholic is about using your Catholic Faith and spirituality in staying sober. The links are comprehensive sites all about the Faith, so why not explore?

At any rate, personally I was trying to cope with a whole host of new things all at once, and it was an effort to maintain sanity and sobriety. Figure this: in the last 2 months I moved from my hometown to get closer to my beautiful, holy, prayerful future wife, and all the discernment that is necessary for that, get a handle on a new job, get settled into a new place (or make that places, as I will be in this apartment for another month, I decided to get gas heat last week and early this week Internet access. I thought there’d be additional hook-up charges but was wrong. If I’d have known that a few weeks ago, I’d have gotten them done then) and how to get around a new area.

I was never in danger of relapsing, but getting used to many major, fundamental new things all at once was trying and stressful, and a test of faith and sobriety. Not a test inasmuch as losing either, but of a strengthening kind. At least regular blogging can resume, and perhaps within a few weeks can develop into a daily effort. My new job is 2nd shift (3:30-11:30 PM) meaning that when I awaken each morning I shall spend a good part of it writing. I wasn’t able to do that before, hence the average 2-4 posts a week. I have aspirations towards writing fiction, but after my morning prayer/breakfast/hygiene rituals, blogging will be first as it is a great way to get the brain engaged. I have plans to start another blog related to Sober Catholic. Early afternoons and evenings off will be devoted to fiction. My lady and I have plenty of time daily for each other, too.

So life is good and getting better. If this is God’s will for me, then my dreams are starting to be realized. If there is any lesson for anyone in all this, it is that you shouldn’t lose faith in your dreams, if they are meant to be, they will come true. Perhaps in God’s time and manner, not yours. Persevere and things will turn out well and the time it took to achieve them may have been fruitful. Maybe not the way you want, but in the way you need.

I apologize to anyone who didn’t like Sober Catholic going silent for nearly 2 months. I hope you accept and understand my reasoning, even if it might have been flawed at points. Be that as it may, I have engaged in a tremendous amount of growth and have an increased understanding of sobriety. I have learned to cope with negative developments and situations in my life these 5.5 sober years, and now I was tested with positive changes. They can be equally threatening to sobriety. I hope to bring that to Sober Catholic and hopefully the blog will be better as a result.

I had mentioned that I will be moving again in the latter half of December, that move however won’t be as disruptive. I doubt there will be any interruption in blogging, or at least not much.

Anyway, I’m back here. Enjoy Sober Catholic, and the new blog as well, which will be at http://the-four-last-things.blogspot.com sometime in December 2007 or January 2008.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Admin Notes/Blog Hiatus/Rosary Meds Update

Just a short note to inform anyone wondering that posting will resume either next week or mid-November, depending on how well I can pack for the move.

If I can wedge a small, old, beat-up typewriting table in my car then I can probably resume blogging next week, assuming of course the phone company remembers to switch my DSL service to my new apartment.

If the table can’t be wedged then blogging won’t resume until I can rent a van after the first week in November and haul my furniture to the new place. Inability to stuff the table in the car isn’t likely as I can jam pretty much anything into something if my mind is set to it, and I’m not too concerned about appearance, after all, the table is old, as is the car. Besides, I think that’s how I moved it in the first place. Anyway, what’s a few more dents and dings and tears?)

There is the possibility of borrowing a table if wedging can’t be done.

I wonder if there’s a patron saint of packing and moving?

At any rate, the rosary meditations that I had hoped would be done by now will be very much late. My apologies.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)