Category Archives: Me

The Efficacious Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and how I use it

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This has been edited; notes on that are at the bottom. Amongst the many devotees of St. Padre Pio, the “Efficacious Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus” is a very popular prayer. Adherents are invited to recite it daily; during Pio’s life, it was to unite their prayers to him. Now that he’s in Heaven it is STILL to unite our prayers to him. We are not separated from the Church Triumphant. Those of us in the Church Militant are united with them in prayer. They are the ‘Great Cloud of Witnesses’ of whom St. Paul wrote about. 

This novena prayer was recited every day by Padre Pio for all those who asked for prayers.

The faithful are invited to recite it daily, so as to be spiritually united with the prayer of Padre Pio.

I say this prayer every day. I’ve known about it for years, but only developed the daily habit as a result on a monthly St. Padre Pio Healing Mass I used to attend. 

The prayer itself is in bold typeface, intentions in italics and my comments in regular typeface. These are typically my intentions and why I picked them. I am posting it on this Sacred Heart Friday so as to introduce it to you and perhaps how I pray it might help you in figuring out the intentions. For some reason during the early years of my saying this I struggled with what intentions to pray for. I ‘solved’ that by studying the actual words of the prayer and getting inspiration from them. 

I. O my Jesus, you have said: “Truly I say to you, ask and it will be given you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened to you.” Behold I knock, I seek and ask for the grace of [insert your intention.]  

Our Father…Hail Mary…Glory be to the Father…Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you.

My intentions are typically for “the grace of salvation for myself, my family, friends, loved ones, other people I have known or would like to have known, and people I will know.” My reasons are that since the prayer is about ‘knocking’ and ‘it will be open to you,’ I pray for salvation. I will be knocking on Heaven’s door someday and I want that opened to let me in! It is the one intention that God always answers. He wants us home with Him. If we want salvation, we will get it. It isn’t just ‘given,’ like we can go off and do whatever we want and then we’ll be saved. No, we get the ‘grace of salvation,’ those free helps from God, be they inspirations, or signal graces, or encouragements and consolations or some such indications as to His Will in our lives. We have to cooperate. On our deathbed these graces will hopefully overwhelm us as we battle Satan’s last attempts to snatch us from Heaven’s grasp. Which leads us to…

II. O my Jesus, you have said: “Truly I say to you, if you ask any thing of the Father in my name, He will give it to you.” Behold, in your name, I ask the Father for the grace of [insert your intention.] 

Our Father…Hail Mary…Glory be to the Father…Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you.

I ask for “the grace of final perseverance, for myself, my family, friends, loved ones, other people I have known or would like to have known, and people I will know.’’ Satan knows his last chance to get you is when you’re at your final hour. He spares no effort. It doesn’t really matter if you’re someone famous and important or just a nobody. Every soul that he can keep from Heaven’s glory is a victory for him. My reasons for this intention is that since it invokes calling on ‘the Name’ of Jesus, you are calling upon the authority of Jesus to keep the demons from harassing you at death. Whenever we pray ‘in Jesus’ Name,’ we are submitting the prayer to the authority of Jesus. If it is His will, it will happen. If it isn’t, then it won’t.

III. O my Jesus, you have said: “Truly I say to you, heaven and earth will pass away but my words will not pass away.” Encouraged by your infallible words I now ask for the grace of [insert your intention.] 

Our Father…Hail Mary…Glory be to the Father…Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you.

In this part I pray for ‘the grace to die in the arms of Holy Mother Church, with the Sacraments.’ I desire the Anointing of the Sick (‘Last Rites’) and Viaticum. To be able to confess my sins to a priest and receive Holy Communion (‘Bread for the Journey.’) Since the invocation is about ‘words’ and words re used in administering the sacraments, that was my clue for this one. 

O Sacred Heart of Jesus, for whom it is impossible not to have compassion on the afflicted, have pity on us miserable sinners and grant us the grace which we ask of you, through the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, your tender mother and ours.

Say the Hail, Holy Queen and add: St. Joseph, foster father of Jesus, pray for us.

 So that’s it. That’s the Efficacious Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus by St. Padre Pio and how I say it. You can use my intentions once in a while or  just offer up your own. I just ‘had to get this out there’ and explain how I use it. 

EDITED: I have edited this on July 29, 2024 to update the intentions. I made some additional wording for the first two: “for myself, my family, friends, loved ones, other people I have known or would like to have known, and people I will know.” Instead of just myself, I include all of these others. The “family, friends, loved ones” are obvious. But I chose to include “other people I have known,” which takes in just very casual relationships from whatever situations we found ourselves in (work, apartment building, public commutes) as well as enemies. The “would like to have known” refers to people that I briefly came into contact with, but for a variety of reasons, any potential relationship was interrupted. Many of these individuals still inhabit a portion of my mind, however briefly we crossed paths. The “people I will know” is also obvious, but there’s a chance I may still be around for another few years or even decades, and there are still people ahead of me on life’s path. There’s no reason why I should wait until we meet before I begin to pray for them. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Sober Catholic Books UPDATE!

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Recently my wife got me an early birthday present, Publisher Rocket by Dave Chesson of Kindlepreneur. It’s a book marketing and research tool that comes highly recommended by pages and pages of Google and DuckDuckGo search results. I’ve only had it a couple of days and I am thinking I should have gotten it years ago. It helps you find a lot of things to aid your self-published books gain traction on Amazon along with a whole bunch of other useful tools for self-publishing. The Kindlepreneur site itself is a goldmine of things every self-publisher needs to know.

I have just used it to discover over a dozen categories in which to place my two books (see the signature that is at the bottom of every post for links to them.) I ust submitted a request to have Amazon place them in those categories. Right now just for the ebooks, I’ll try and add the paperback versions later today. 

That all being said, I’ve been inspired to dust off several of my Sober Catholic Books-in-progress. Although the Stations and Rosary books came out a decade ago, I’ve never given up on the idea of writing more. Things got in the way, including some nasty character defects (complacency and laziness) but I would occasionally piddle with a few ideas. 

Well, I have started work on two, maybe three books. One is on the Ten Commandments and the other is on the Litany of the Sacred Heart. The possible third is a prayer book. Not sure about that one. I have no idea when they will be finished, but I am enthused about self-publishing again. If something were to happen to me and SoberCatholic.com goes offline, then the books should be around as long as Amazon and the other publishers are online. So there’s that motivation. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

16th Bloggaversary of Sober Catholic: How I stayed sober for almost 21 years

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Today marks the 16th Bloggaversary of Sober Catholic. In honor of that, I’ve edited and cleaned up a messy note I wrote who-knows-when on “The Sober Catholic Way.” It is a summary of everything I’ve been doing since I became sober on May 22, 2002. Some I do better than others. 

This was originally a long, 2,000ish word post. There was the summary you see in the next paragraph followed by a longer version that fleshed out the details. But then I decided this morning during a feeling-sorry-for-myself pity party that the longer version is itself a summary of an even much longer version that’s been lurking in my head for 15 or so years. That being a book on the topic of “The Sober Catholic Way of Sobriety.” Or something like that. I shall begin working on that right away. I do not know when it will be finished.

The summary of the ‘Sober Catholic Method’ or ‘Way’ or ‘whatver’ is:

Wow, that’s a long list, Paulcoholic? Isn’t a Twelve-Step program simpler? Yeah, maybe. But doing the above has kept this sick puppy sober for over 20 years and I knew that AA couldn’t. Some people demand happiness in this life and they find it often by avoiding suffering all costs and more and more turn to things which can only be called ‘addictions.’ Whether it is the typical alcohol or drugs, or an inordinate attraction to the self, or to the Internet and social media, or  to fandoms (pop culture things like TV franchises, movies, comics or other entertainment stuff.) Someone may not be an alcoholic or a drug addict, but I betcha they’re ‘addicted’ to something. You need a lot of tools to crowd all that stuff out or at least keeping them in their proper perspective is an attribute of the Sober Catholic Method. Or Way. Or whatever… 😉 So this all could be a wholistic approach to dealing with life in general and addictions in particular.

There are probably books or devotions that should be on there, but this my list. Yours may be slightly different. Anyone who takes a look at the list will arrive at the conclusion that it is simply a decent Catholic lifestyle. We are all supposed to go to Mass, Confession, and live the Gospel life which is learned by studying the Bible, Catechism, lives of the Saints and their teachings along with a few particular devotions to assist us on our way – to help us ‘stay on the beam.’ So be it. What makes it a ‘Sober Catholic Way?’ Life hasn’t been perfect for me nor am I a serene, happy saint-to-be. Life sucks at times, and I am often cranky and melancholic. But God never promises happiness and peace in this life. Only in the life to come. This should help me get there.

If you’ve appreciated this blog as well as this post, you can PayPalMe a non-tax deductible donation (my real name is Paul Sofranko, like the destination link says.) I will greatly appreciate every donation. (I do have plans for the money; plans to buy software which will help out in the production and marketing of self-published books. I figure that if I can raise sufficient funds through the kindness of strangers, then I’ll feel responsible and actually start working on the planned books. More on that later. )

 Or, you can just buy a lot of my books I’ve already done:

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

When is something a ‘signal grace’ and when is it just an odd occurrence?

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When is something a ‘signal grace’ and when is it just an odd occurrence?

“A ‘signal grace’ is a free gift from God (grace) that is extraordinary in nature and evident in some manner (signal). It may be a visible sign or deep interior feeling that a prayer has been answered or a direction you’ve been seeking has been given. Another name for signal grace is “God-incidence,” a play on “coincidence” as with God there are none, because God actually works in that mysterious intersection where seemingly unrelated events in space and time meet up.” I wrote that in this post on St. Rita of Cascia.

There are times when we may confuse some random coincidence with ‘a free gift from God (grace) that is extraordinary in nature and evident in some manner.’

I suppose then the following is not a signal grace since I wasn’t hit with any extraordinary feeling like in the St. Rita post. 

At Mass this evening I saw a young lady get up for Holy Communion. Her hair was dyed all sorts of colors, like a rainbow. Why would that be a signal grace? She immediately reminded me of a character who appears in one unpublished short story I’ve written, and in a number of unfinished drafts. Her hair is tie-dyed many colors, like the lady in church. I connected this to possibly being a signal grace because once again, I am going through a bad period in my life wracked with self-doubt and esteem issues (I’ll be out of a job at the end of the month. Yes, in the middle of the holidays. My boss is a…. Oh, never mind.) I figured the appearance in real life (at Mass, no less) of a woman who bears a striking similarity to a fictional character I’ve created is some sort of gentle reminder from God that ‘all will be OK’ and I’ll get through this. Why He would pick a real-life rendition of one of my fictional characters is a mystery, but He has His reasons. Possibly because when I am working on my fiction, that is the only time when I feel ‘all right.’ 

Then again, I suppose that it could have been a signal grace, just of the low-wattage variety as there may be concerns surrounding an extraordinary feeling involving my spotting another woman! 

The fact that I am fond of this character (yes, writers can be fond of the fictional characters they create) and she’s appearing in a few stories of mine and I’ve populated her backstory with some autobiographical events in my life, may in God’s eyes indicate that she’d be ‘extraordinary’ enough to serve as a signal grace. 

Hmmm. I am going to have to think about this.

Incidentally, the character in question’s name is “Russia.” Nothing whatsoever to do with current events; I conceived the character in 2014 and she’s been moving about my subconscious ever since. In her backstory, she was named ‘Russia’ by Ginger, her mother. You see, Ginger got pregnant in 1968 by some guy and she was returning home to get an illegal abortion. She was in a Greyhound Bus Depot in St. Louis and was waiting for her bus for the trip home. While waiting, she spotted a discarded book on Fatima on the seat next to her. Now, Ginger was irreligious and a Communist. You’d think I’d have said ‘atheist,’ but that would be too complicated for Ginger. She just had no opinion on God’s existence and any atheism was a disbelief of convenience intended to satisfy her Marxist friends. She was a Communist simply because guys with fists upraised in righteous anger were sexy to her and their rhetoric was fascinating, when she grasped it. The funny thing is, the guy who knocked her up wasn’t a Communist. On the borderlands, but not on the inside. Another funny thing about him is that while he obviously is an antagonist in the story, (appearing only in a flashback) he’s a protagonist in many later unfinished drafts of stories. Anyway, getting this odd post back on track, while perusing the book on Fatima, she was amused that the Fatima seers mistook ‘Russia’ as a name for a woman. They were so ignorant that they never heard of the country. Later, she decides to name the unborn child ‘Russia’ as a sort of concession to her new-found faith (the whole experience gets her started on converting to Catholicism) and an odd tribute to her Marxist past. (In case this story ever does get published, I didn’t spoil the ending; I think it is obvious to anyone reading the story that she’ll decide against having the abortion. The fun of the story is the path she took to get there.)

I submitted the story to the one Catholic outlet that I know exists for fiction.  They rejected it. I didn’t bother submitting it elsewhere; it’s too Catholic for any other fiction publisher. It may get self-published in some manner.

I’m currently taking forever in writing a novel in which Russia appears. She’s now 26 (the novel is set in 1995). She had dropped out of high school at 16 and has mostly lived an itinerant life; dwelling with her Mom’s ex-hippy friends or renting rooms in houses and doing odd jobs. She appears in my story on the run from a disastrous family situation (Ginger is dying and Russia’s bitchy older sister is making her life a living hell over things.) She winds up staying in the eccentric little beach town getting a job as a folk singer in a lakefront dive and shortly thereafter an intriguing job in a thrift shop. It gets complicated after that. 

Russia, her mother Ginger, the guy who impregnated Ginger, other characters I haven’t mentioned and the places they live are all a part of a series of novels and shorter works attempting to work out the Spiritual and Corporal Works of Mercy. Each story has something to do with one or more of them. I really need to dedicate more time to these. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

John Paul II, I love you

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Today is the feast day of Pope St. John Paul II. He acceded to the throne of St. Peter on this day in 1978; I was 15 years old. He died on April 2, 2005; I was 42. A lot happened to me in between those ages. I would have loved to have lived a different life in which Pope John Paul II was a constant fixture in it, but that was not to be. I left the Church in 1987 and returned in 2002, so I missed 15 years of his papacy.

The fact that his writings remain and I have almost all of them is a consolation. (Now to do the reading of them!)

I never met Pope John Paul II. However, I do have an odd personal connection to him. I may have written about this before but a quick search did not find it. When he was dying I was a part of the vast global audience watching the vigil in St. Peter’s Square. It was a Saturday afternoon and I also wanted to go to Confession. I left for it and figured the vigil would still be going on. But no, when I returned home after Confession and a few errands I learned that he had died right after I left. I found out the exact time he died and in my head backtracked my travels that afternoon and guesstimated the time spent at each and came to the really interesting conclusion that John Paul had died when I was in the Confessional, give or take 2-3 minutes before or after.

I like to think that he was facing his Particular Judgement at the same time I was getting absolution.

So, while I admire all of those people who had a personal audience with him, or who saw him being driven past them in his Popemobile during one of his many travels around Earth, I think I got one on you. He was meeting Jesus at the same time Jesus was absolving me of my sins (through the priest.) I don’t recall what my penance was, but I assume Jesus just ushered JP2 right on through. “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Enter into the Kingdom prepared for you since the beginning. Mom is right over there holding the Gates open for you.” And behind Jesus by the Gates is the Blessed Virgin Mary with a smile waving her arm at John Paul II to get him inside.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Today is the 105th Anniversary of the founding of the Militia of the Immaculata

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NOTE: Edited from an earlier post. 

Today marks the 105th Anniversary of the founding of the Militia of the Immaculata, an evangelization apostolate of St. Maximilian Kolbe. Established on the evening of October 16, 1917 at the Conventual Franciscan’s College in Rome by St. Maximilian and six of his fellow students, its goal is to “win the whole world for Christ through the Immaculata, Mother of God and of the Church.”

The original aim of the MI was “To pursue the conversion to God of all people, be they sinners, or non-Catholics, or unbelievers, in particular the freemasons; and that all become saints, under the patronage and through the mediation of the Immaculate Virgin.

Kolbe was inspired to “do something” after a violent anti-Catholic demonstration by the Freemasons on Rome in early 1917, hence the original reference to the freemasons.

It has since spread throughout the world. One joins after a period of prayer and meditation on the charism of the MI. You then consecrate yourself to the Blessed Mother under the formula devised by St. Maximilian. His method is similar to the consecration of St. Louis DeMontfort; it differs only in that it includes an external evangelical dimension. One typically selects a feast day associated with the Blessed Mother in order to join with however many others are consecrating themselves, and as a way of honoring Mary. The Act of Consecration is as follows:

“O Immaculata, Queen of Heaven and earth, refuge of sinners and our most loving Mother, God has willed to entrust the entire order of mercy to you. I, (name), a repentant sinner, cast myself at your feet humbly imploring you to take me with all that I am and have, wholly to yourself as your possession and property. Please make of me, of all my powers of soul and body, of my whole life, death and eternity, whatever most pleases you.

If it pleases you, use all that I am and have without reserve, wholly to accomplish what was said of you: “She will crush your head,” and, “You alone have destroyed all heresies in the world.” Let me be a fit instrument in your immaculate and merciful hands for introducing and increasing your glory to the maximum in all the many strayed and indifferent souls, and thus help extend as far as possible the blessed kingdom of the most Sacred Heart of Jesus. For wherever you enter, you obtain the grace of conversion and growth in holiness, since it is through your hands that all graces come to us from the most Sacred Heart of Jesus.

V. Allow me to praise you, O sacred Virgin.

R. Give me strength against your enemies.”

The Daily Renewal of Total Consecration is:

“Immaculata, Queen and Mother of the Church, I renew
my consecration to you this day and for always, so that you
may use me for the coming of the Kingdom of Jesus in
the whole world. To this end I offer you all my prayers,
actions and sacrifices of this day.”

I have been a member of the MI since 2002; I recently celebrated my 20th anniversary of consecration to Mary this past October 7th, having selected the Memorial of Our Lady of the Rosary as my day to enroll.

Although the Militia of the Immaculata is not a recovery organization by any means, I do credit my consecration with keeping myself sober when AA was insufficient. I have always said here on “Sober Catholic” that my Catholic Faith has been primarily responsible for my sobriety, with AA and the Twelve Steps providing the focus for drinking-specific issues and root causes. But for spirituality and the growth and depth of my maturing relationship with my “Higher Power” (Jesus), the enduring basis for sobriety, I credit the Faith. And although I may not have realized it at the time, my consecration to the Blessed Mother quite possibly gave me the strength to deal with things that AA couldn’t. Putting yourself in the hands of Mary for her to use by whatever means she wishes to bring about a “Civilization of Love,” you’re pretty much guaranteed of a solid sobriety. Not that I haven’t on occasion “felt thirsty,” but the feeling withers quickly. The fact that as you develop your relationship with Mary and she leads you closer and closer to Jesus; this has a cumulative effect on your sobriety and recovery. Mary leads you to the Divine Physician. I have read quite a lot of Mariology in the tradition of ‘total consecration,’ especially Kolbean. And the more I read that, the more I am convinced that if you want to stay sober, consecrate yourself to Mary through the Militia of the Immaculate.  Note: I may develop those italicized lines into a series of posts since I think it is worth exploring.

I do think that “Sober Catholic” is a direct result of inspiration from Mary. This is all subjective, of course. But that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Quotes and other information courtesy of Militia of the Immaculata in the USA. When you visit that site, you’ll discover plenty of information on the history and founding of the MI, including how to enroll and the preparation needed, as well as material on the life of St. Maximilian Kolbe.

If you’re not in the USA, go here: MI International and you can locate information for your country.

I have also blogged about St. Maximilian Kolbe numerous times: St. Maximilian Kolbe post archives on Sober Catholic.

I administer an Unofficial M.I. Group on Facebook.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

My miraculous M.I. hat

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OK, so I’ve been doing this #31dayrosarychallenge to propagate devotion to Our Lady and her rosary. I’ve been posting selfies of me holding a Rosary and saying something to Twitter, my Facebook and the Unofficial Militia of the Immaculata Facebook Group I admin. Today’s post is about my ‘miraculous’ Militia of the Immaculata baseball cap. I figured I should explain why it’s miraculous since the story wouldn’t fit on Twitter. Neither would an image of a Rosary; I couldn’t fit one of me holding it while wearing this cap.

Here’s a photo of it:

Photo on 10 5 22 at 7 41 PM

Why’s it miraculous? Well, I bought the cap about twenty years ago sometime after I joined the MI on 7 October 2002. I bought a lot of MI and St. Max Kolbe stuff (books, etc.) and I figured this ball cap with the logo of the Miraculous Medal (back view image) on the front would be great.

The hat is NOT miraculous because it has the Miraculous Medal image. After I had worn it for a few years it was getting torn; the bill was becoming separated from the rest of it. I did not want to throw it away and so I just placed it in an old footlocker for safe keeping. This was maybe around 2005? It hadn’t gotten worn much and after 2-3 years was already deteriorating, but still I didn’t have the heart to junk it.

In 2008, after I had gotten married, for some reason I decided to show it to my wife. I pulled it out of the footlocker and looked at it. 

There was nothing wrong with it! The bill was attached to the cap and there was no sign of repair; no stitching or anything to indicate that someone had fixed it. 

I’ve worn it fairly often since then. It’s now 2022 and it’s gotten a lot of wear in these 14 years. It looks just as good as it did when I pulled it out of the footlocker.

Weird. But I’ll take miracles in any way and for whatever reason the Lord decides to grant them! (Why a hat, though?)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

RIP, Garry

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Years ago I had written about my old AA friend Garry. I had been looking up stuff at random on Facebook and one thing lead to another and I discovered that he had been arrested for DWI in my old hometown. You can read about that here and here. This first link tells about our friendship and the arrest; the second was a criticism of his treatment in the comments section of the newspapers reports (with full recognition that DWI can be a fatal crime; both for the driver and any innocents. So I wasn’t glossing over Garry’s crime by viewing it through rose-tinted glasses. But not one comment was about that. All were trashing Garry’s humanity.)

Today while at work I was looking up stuff for my job when something that reminded me of Garry caught my eye. So I quickly switched gears and did a web search for him and essentially found that he died in 2019. 

Like I said in the other two posts on Garry back in 2011, I hadn’t seen him since perhaps 2004. I have, however, thought about him over the years. OK, please read those two posts before going on. I’ll wait.

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So now you know why Garry was important to me. “We are a people who normally would not meet,” it says on page 17 in AA’s ‘Big Book.” That probably meant more to me than it really should have. Nevertheless I always did enjoy the cross section of society in ‘the rooms’ and how class and other differences really didn’t matter. But that isn’t the reason for this post.

My friend Garry is dead. And he might have been missed by some; although only two people signed the condolence part of the online obituary. One clearly knew his troubled life. I wonder how many attended his funeral. 

I said in the first of those posts that:

This part sounds weird, but I always thought it would be awesome that if we all make it to Heaven, his Heavenly mansion should be next to mine. I don’t know why I’ve had that imagery in my mind from way back then, as I’ve had better friends, but dang it, I want him to be one of the ones to make it (I know, we all want everyone to be saved, but we do know that not everyone does and I really want him to be one of the ones. AND I wanna hang out in Heaven with him for eternity. It’d be an epic blast.)

And that is true. I don’t friggin’ care. Garry liked me despite having zero in common except drinking. OK, he was Catholic but that didn’t bring him all the solace and strength it should have. But he saw something in me that probably said to him “Here’s a guy who’s more screwed up than I am.” (I was so not the poster boy for early recovery.) And thus he reached out. We chatted on the phone a lot. He once followed me home from an AA meeting because he was concerned for my safety, since I was in a blackout. Yes, I once drove home in a blackout. (I never did ask him how he knew.)

I miss Garry. I wish I had seen him a few more times before I left home for western New York. I wish I lived closer so I could have visited him while he was in jail. I bet no one bothered. 

To the world Garry was a pathetic loser and a piece of trash. To me, how you treat people like Garry indicates how much humanity you possess. He was a drunk. He could have killed people while drinking and driving (but that never happened, praise God.) Garry drank to cope and he could not find a coping mechanism for life that substituted for booze. Drink was his crutch. It is so easy to just look upon the surface of a person and only see the outward appearance. Such is the basis for all racism and sexism. But it isn’t just that; it is the basis for any dehumanizing assessment of another person. We don’t view people as persons. Just as things. Again, the basis for racism (from any source, be they white people or ‘people of color’)  and sexism; and also in targeting the unborn for abortion. We ‘choose’ to kill them because they’re just ’things.’

To me Garry was a person who was my friend. I miss him. He’s probably in Purgatory until Gabriel blows his horn announcing ‘last call.’ I hope when I go Home I will find him there.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Our Lady of Perpetual Help

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I have recently been the recipient of multiple odd ocurrences of the image of Our Lady of Perpetual Help (OLPH). The seeming randomness has gone beyond being mere coincidence; I think it has reached the point of being a ‘signal grace.’

I could be watching a Catholic YouTube channel and the host has images of the walls of his home and studio. I am looking up stuff on Catholic sites or blogs and there are references to her or the image. I go to Saturday Vigil Mass with my wife wants to sit in a particular pew, but there’s an AC unit blasting arctic air and so we move to a pew in the rear of the church right next to a huge image of OLPH. At home I find a random image of OLPH sticking out of a pile of books. I go to Facebook and search for OLPH, I get as far as typing ‘our’ and the search result start appearing…. OLPH is the first. (Granted Facebook tracks you away from itself, but I think I have enough addons to block that.) An image I forgot I had peeks out from a stack of books. I go to a med appointment and arrive early, leave early, and so have time to go to Mass. It’s the new Memorial of Mary, Mother of the Church. While not tied to the devotion to OLPH, in my mind I make theological and spiritual connections between my being called to go to Mass on that day and the feasts. (Mary is the Mother of the Church, and as we Catholics are members of the Mystical Body pf Christ, which is the church, she is the Mother of us. And under her title of Our Lady of Perpetual Help, she is our Mother who will help us forever, regardless of space and time or any other situation, since the Church and Her teachings are applicable to anyone, anywhere, in any time.)

Our Lady of Perpetual Help is among the most descriptive titles of the Blessed Virgin in her role as our Heavenly Mother, and her maternal care over us. 

 Here’s the image:

CultofPerpetualHelpVetusImagoMiraculisClaraVenerata

From Wikipedia:

  • The original wooden icon measures 17″ × 21″ inches, and is written on hard nut wood with a gold leaf background. The image depicts the following symbols:
  • The Blessed Virgin Mary — wearing a dress of dark red, in Byzantine iconography the color of the empress, the Queen.
  • The subject shows Mary looking towards the faithful while pointing at her son, Jesus Christ who is frightened by the instruments of crucifixion and is depicted with a fallen sandal.
  • The left side is Saint Michael Archangel — carrying the lance and sponge of the crucifixion of Jesus.
  • On the right side is Saint Gabriel Archangel carrying a 3-bar cross and nails.
  • The Virgin Mary has a star on her forehead signifying her role as Star of the Sea while the cross on the side has been claimed as referring to the Greek monastery which produced the icon.

More on the symbolism here. 

It is one of the most venerated images of Our Lady; largely due to its beauty and intricate design and deep symbolism, but also through the numerous miraculous cures and conversions rendered through it. Its history is sketchy and some parts contradict each other, but such is often the case when records are oral, lost or there are gaps within the various accounts. It is reputed to be a copy of a painting of Our Lady done by St. Luke, the author of the third Gospel and the Acts. That painting was destroyed by the Moslem invaders of Constantinople in the 15th Century. It had been copied numerous times and these made their way throughout Eastern Christendom. This particular copy, with some emendations by later artists, possibly dates from the 13th or 14th Centuries. It wound up in Rome in the 16th Century after being stolen or spirited out of Crete by a Cretan merchant. This is one of the contradictions. One story claims the merchant was a pious man who merely sought to protect the image from Moslems who were invading Crete; another story holds that he was hired by rich Italians who wanted spectacular eastern images to decorate the churches they sponsor, and thus reap the rewards of pilgrimages and such. At any rate, his piety, if not present when he brought the image out of Crete, was in evidence on his deathbed when he made a promise to Our Lady to find a suitable home for it. She appeared to him and mentioned a church in Rome in between St. John Lateran and St. Mary Major. This church was named after St. Matthew. It supposedly did not make it there right away. The merchant died and the image fell into the possession of his best friend, present at his death, who temporarily kept it. The story, which is rather complicated, goes that this man’s wife and father coveted the image because of her pride and his greed. Only after repeated apparitions of Our Lady to convince them to release it to the Church where she had wanted it, the image was finally transferred to St. Matthew’s, but not before initially failing to achieve that goal until after the predicted death of the merchant’s friend and the sheer terror of the wife and father upon realizing they were opposing the will of Heaven. Like I said, the story is complicated and you should really look it up. It would make a great movie by Mel Gibson or better yet, Leonardo Defilippis.

The image remained in St. Matthew’s for a few centuries until that church was destroyed by invading French in the 19th Century. It was spirited out to another church in Rome, where its initial identity became largely forgotten. Eventually, the Institute of the Most Holy Redeemer, an Order founded by St. Alphonsus Liguori, needed to build a headquarters in Rome, and they coincidentally built it on the site of the old St. Matthew’s Church (remember? the original desired home by Our Lady for the image!) Well, they wanted a suitable image for their HQ. And one day, one of the Redemptorists was looking through some old books and discovered the history of the area and found out about St. Matthew’s and that it was the home of the renowned image of OLPH. Some of its history was told, and the Redemptorists wondered about its current whereabouts. Then, through a series of coincidences, chance circumstances, and the fortuitous memory of an altar boy-turned-priest who was at the right place at the right time and heard the right thing said by the right person, the picture was retrieved from where it had been moved after St. Matthew’s was destroyed and the Redemptorists moved it to their Church, where it has been since the late 19th Century.

I think I got the details correct, I recalled this from memory after reading a little book on the history of the image and my short-term memory at times sucks. Come to think of it, Leonardo Defilippis could make a trilogy of the image’s history. 

Anyway, I’m writing all this just to let you know of this image. It is a devotion to Our Lady that I think should be popular amongst sober Catholics. Why I haven’t developed such a devotion before now is a mystery, but better late than never! Who else needs the assistance of such a Lady, but those of us who have struggled with alcohol and drugs; and oftentimes for years? Including spending years trying to get clean and sober? Any especially since many of us (like me) have been abandoned by their families? 

Look up Our Lady of Perpetual Help (sometimes called Mother of Perpetual Help.) Her feast day is June 27th. The Novena begins June 18th. I will post one or more just before. Also, try and get yourself an image of Our Lady of Perpetual Help; it would make a nice addition to your prayer area or just your home. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Please help support Sober Catholic! Your donations are appreciated.

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Hi, all. I am writing this post to make a request. I have been blogging since early 2007, that’s nearly 15 1/2 years. I’ve quite enjoyed it and will probably never give it up (unless I can no longer mentally perform the tasks or I die.) This request is a humble one for donations. Sober Catholic’s hosting bill for the next three years is due at the end of the first week of June; with our domain names* coming due a week later. Although we can pay them, doing so will take quite a chunk from our financial reserves. I will try and negotiate a discount with the hosting service, given that we’ve been loyal customers sine 2010. But, it would be greatly appreciated if those of you who enjoy this blog can help support it in some way so as to help defray the costs.

I’m not just going to ask you to ‘please please gimme money’ and that’s that. I will try and do something in return. Maybe for $5 you can suggest something that I can blog about? Something at the intersection of Catholic Faith and recovery? Something else? My opinion or thoughts on this, that or whatever?

How about this? For $10 you get a PDF copy of one of my books (you pick). I know $10 is more that you’d pay if you bought them online from where they’re distributed, (unless you had to pay shipping) but there will be the ‘added value’ of supporting the blog. 

You can always just donate whatever you want without getting anything. That is true charity; giving something without expecting anything in return. But that doesn’t diminish the idea of giving in exchange for something. That’s nice, it establishes a kind of ‘proprietary’ interest in the blog. In fact, it’s giving me an idea for another post… But for now, something, anything you feel that contributes to the upkeep of this blog will be appreciated. 

You can PayPal me, or use the PayPal link in the sidebar. If you prefer to send a cheque, you can email me (details in the About Me page.)

*Regarding ‘domain names:” my wife and I have three sites. There’s this Sober Catholic blog, plus I have another at Paul Sofranko which I think I will transform into a static promotional site for current and future Sober Catholic books (yes, I’m planning more and should start the actual writing soon on one or two.) It could be renamed “Sober Catholic Books” or something like that; plus my wife has her site which she uses as like a ‘calling card’ for all of her online storefronts. Hey, there’s and idea!! You can also help out by checking out her stores and maybe buying stuff!!!

Whatever you do send, you will be in my prayers. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)