Category Archives: Me

John Paul II, I love you

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Today is the feast day of Pope St. John Paul II. He acceded to the throne of St. Peter on this day in 1978; I was 15 years old. He died on April 2, 2005; I was 42. A lot happened to me in between those ages. I would have loved to have lived a different life in which Pope John Paul II was a constant fixture in it, but that was not to be. I left the Church in 1987 and returned in 2002, so I missed 15 years of his papacy.

The fact that his writings remain and I have almost all of them is a consolation. (Now to do the reading of them!)

I never met Pope John Paul II. However, I do have an odd personal connection to him. I may have written about this before but a quick search did not find it. When he was dying I was a part of the vast global audience watching the vigil in St. Peter’s Square. It was a Saturday afternoon and I also wanted to go to Confession. I left for it and figured the vigil would still be going on. But no, when I returned home after Confession and a few errands I learned that he had died right after I left. I found out the exact time he died and in my head backtracked my travels that afternoon and guesstimated the time spent at each and came to the really interesting conclusion that John Paul had died when I was in the Confessional, give or take 2-3 minutes before or after.

I like to think that he was facing his Particular Judgement at the same time I was getting absolution.

So, while I admire all of those people who had a personal audience with him, or who saw him being driven past them in his Popemobile during one of his many travels around Earth, I think I got one on you. He was meeting Jesus at the same time Jesus was absolving me of my sins (through the priest.) I don’t recall what my penance was, but I assume Jesus just ushered JP2 right on through. “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Enter into the Kingdom prepared for you since the beginning. Mom is right over there holding the Gates open for you.” And behind Jesus by the Gates is the Blessed Virgin Mary with a smile waving her arm at John Paul II to get him inside.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Today is the 105th Anniversary of the founding of the Militia of the Immaculata

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NOTE: Edited from an earlier post. 

Today marks the 105th Anniversary of the founding of the Militia of the Immaculata, an evangelization apostolate of St. Maximilian Kolbe. Established on the evening of October 16, 1917 at the Conventual Franciscan’s College in Rome by St. Maximilian and six of his fellow students, its goal is to “win the whole world for Christ through the Immaculata, Mother of God and of the Church.”

The original aim of the MI was “To pursue the conversion to God of all people, be they sinners, or non-Catholics, or unbelievers, in particular the freemasons; and that all become saints, under the patronage and through the mediation of the Immaculate Virgin.

Kolbe was inspired to “do something” after a violent anti-Catholic demonstration by the Freemasons on Rome in early 1917, hence the original reference to the freemasons.

It has since spread throughout the world. One joins after a period of prayer and meditation on the charism of the MI. You then consecrate yourself to the Blessed Mother under the formula devised by St. Maximilian. His method is similar to the consecration of St. Louis DeMontfort; it differs only in that it includes an external evangelical dimension. One typically selects a feast day associated with the Blessed Mother in order to join with however many others are consecrating themselves, and as a way of honoring Mary. The Act of Consecration is as follows:

“O Immaculata, Queen of Heaven and earth, refuge of sinners and our most loving Mother, God has willed to entrust the entire order of mercy to you. I, (name), a repentant sinner, cast myself at your feet humbly imploring you to take me with all that I am and have, wholly to yourself as your possession and property. Please make of me, of all my powers of soul and body, of my whole life, death and eternity, whatever most pleases you.

If it pleases you, use all that I am and have without reserve, wholly to accomplish what was said of you: “She will crush your head,” and, “You alone have destroyed all heresies in the world.” Let me be a fit instrument in your immaculate and merciful hands for introducing and increasing your glory to the maximum in all the many strayed and indifferent souls, and thus help extend as far as possible the blessed kingdom of the most Sacred Heart of Jesus. For wherever you enter, you obtain the grace of conversion and growth in holiness, since it is through your hands that all graces come to us from the most Sacred Heart of Jesus.

V. Allow me to praise you, O sacred Virgin.

R. Give me strength against your enemies.”

The Daily Renewal of Total Consecration is:

“Immaculata, Queen and Mother of the Church, I renew
my consecration to you this day and for always, so that you
may use me for the coming of the Kingdom of Jesus in
the whole world. To this end I offer you all my prayers,
actions and sacrifices of this day.”

I have been a member of the MI since 2002; I recently celebrated my 20th anniversary of consecration to Mary this past October 7th, having selected the Memorial of Our Lady of the Rosary as my day to enroll.

Although the Militia of the Immaculata is not a recovery organization by any means, I do credit my consecration with keeping myself sober when AA was insufficient. I have always said here on “Sober Catholic” that my Catholic Faith has been primarily responsible for my sobriety, with AA and the Twelve Steps providing the focus for drinking-specific issues and root causes. But for spirituality and the growth and depth of my maturing relationship with my “Higher Power” (Jesus), the enduring basis for sobriety, I credit the Faith. And although I may not have realized it at the time, my consecration to the Blessed Mother quite possibly gave me the strength to deal with things that AA couldn’t. Putting yourself in the hands of Mary for her to use by whatever means she wishes to bring about a “Civilization of Love,” you’re pretty much guaranteed of a solid sobriety. Not that I haven’t on occasion “felt thirsty,” but the feeling withers quickly. The fact that as you develop your relationship with Mary and she leads you closer and closer to Jesus; this has a cumulative effect on your sobriety and recovery. Mary leads you to the Divine Physician. I have read quite a lot of Mariology in the tradition of ‘total consecration,’ especially Kolbean. And the more I read that, the more I am convinced that if you want to stay sober, consecrate yourself to Mary through the Militia of the Immaculate.  Note: I may develop those italicized lines into a series of posts since I think it is worth exploring.

I do think that “Sober Catholic” is a direct result of inspiration from Mary. This is all subjective, of course. But that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Quotes and other information courtesy of Militia of the Immaculata in the USA. When you visit that site, you’ll discover plenty of information on the history and founding of the MI, including how to enroll and the preparation needed, as well as material on the life of St. Maximilian Kolbe.

If you’re not in the USA, go here: MI International and you can locate information for your country.

I have also blogged about St. Maximilian Kolbe numerous times: St. Maximilian Kolbe post archives on Sober Catholic.

I administer an Unofficial M.I. Group on Facebook.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

My miraculous M.I. hat

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OK, so I’ve been doing this #31dayrosarychallenge to propagate devotion to Our Lady and her rosary. I’ve been posting selfies of me holding a Rosary and saying something to Twitter, my Facebook and the Unofficial Militia of the Immaculata Facebook Group I admin. Today’s post is about my ‘miraculous’ Militia of the Immaculata baseball cap. I figured I should explain why it’s miraculous since the story wouldn’t fit on Twitter. Neither would an image of a Rosary; I couldn’t fit one of me holding it while wearing this cap.

Here’s a photo of it:

Photo on 10 5 22 at 7 41 PM

Why’s it miraculous? Well, I bought the cap about twenty years ago sometime after I joined the MI on 7 October 2002. I bought a lot of MI and St. Max Kolbe stuff (books, etc.) and I figured this ball cap with the logo of the Miraculous Medal (back view image) on the front would be great.

The hat is NOT miraculous because it has the Miraculous Medal image. After I had worn it for a few years it was getting torn; the bill was becoming separated from the rest of it. I did not want to throw it away and so I just placed it in an old footlocker for safe keeping. This was maybe around 2005? It hadn’t gotten worn much and after 2-3 years was already deteriorating, but still I didn’t have the heart to junk it.

In 2008, after I had gotten married, for some reason I decided to show it to my wife. I pulled it out of the footlocker and looked at it. 

There was nothing wrong with it! The bill was attached to the cap and there was no sign of repair; no stitching or anything to indicate that someone had fixed it. 

I’ve worn it fairly often since then. It’s now 2022 and it’s gotten a lot of wear in these 14 years. It looks just as good as it did when I pulled it out of the footlocker.

Weird. But I’ll take miracles in any way and for whatever reason the Lord decides to grant them! (Why a hat, though?)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

RIP, Garry

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Years ago I had written about my old AA friend Garry. I had been looking up stuff at random on Facebook and one thing lead to another and I discovered that he had been arrested for DWI in my old hometown. You can read about that here and here. This first link tells about our friendship and the arrest; the second was a criticism of his treatment in the comments section of the newspapers reports (with full recognition that DWI can be a fatal crime; both for the driver and any innocents. So I wasn’t glossing over Garry’s crime by viewing it through rose-tinted glasses. But not one comment was about that. All were trashing Garry’s humanity.)

Today while at work I was looking up stuff for my job when something that reminded me of Garry caught my eye. So I quickly switched gears and did a web search for him and essentially found that he died in 2019. 

Like I said in the other two posts on Garry back in 2011, I hadn’t seen him since perhaps 2004. I have, however, thought about him over the years. OK, please read those two posts before going on. I’ll wait.

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So now you know why Garry was important to me. “We are a people who normally would not meet,” it says on page 17 in AA’s ‘Big Book.” That probably meant more to me than it really should have. Nevertheless I always did enjoy the cross section of society in ‘the rooms’ and how class and other differences really didn’t matter. But that isn’t the reason for this post.

My friend Garry is dead. And he might have been missed by some; although only two people signed the condolence part of the online obituary. One clearly knew his troubled life. I wonder how many attended his funeral. 

I said in the first of those posts that:

This part sounds weird, but I always thought it would be awesome that if we all make it to Heaven, his Heavenly mansion should be next to mine. I don’t know why I’ve had that imagery in my mind from way back then, as I’ve had better friends, but dang it, I want him to be one of the ones to make it (I know, we all want everyone to be saved, but we do know that not everyone does and I really want him to be one of the ones. AND I wanna hang out in Heaven with him for eternity. It’d be an epic blast.)

And that is true. I don’t friggin’ care. Garry liked me despite having zero in common except drinking. OK, he was Catholic but that didn’t bring him all the solace and strength it should have. But he saw something in me that probably said to him “Here’s a guy who’s more screwed up than I am.” (I was so not the poster boy for early recovery.) And thus he reached out. We chatted on the phone a lot. He once followed me home from an AA meeting because he was concerned for my safety, since I was in a blackout. Yes, I once drove home in a blackout. (I never did ask him how he knew.)

I miss Garry. I wish I had seen him a few more times before I left home for western New York. I wish I lived closer so I could have visited him while he was in jail. I bet no one bothered. 

To the world Garry was a pathetic loser and a piece of trash. To me, how you treat people like Garry indicates how much humanity you possess. He was a drunk. He could have killed people while drinking and driving (but that never happened, praise God.) Garry drank to cope and he could not find a coping mechanism for life that substituted for booze. Drink was his crutch. It is so easy to just look upon the surface of a person and only see the outward appearance. Such is the basis for all racism and sexism. But it isn’t just that; it is the basis for any dehumanizing assessment of another person. We don’t view people as persons. Just as things. Again, the basis for racism (from any source, be they white people or ‘people of color’)  and sexism; and also in targeting the unborn for abortion. We ‘choose’ to kill them because they’re just ’things.’

To me Garry was a person who was my friend. I miss him. He’s probably in Purgatory until Gabriel blows his horn announcing ‘last call.’ I hope when I go Home I will find him there.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Our Lady of Perpetual Help

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I have recently been the recipient of multiple odd ocurrences of the image of Our Lady of Perpetual Help (OLPH). The seeming randomness has gone beyond being mere coincidence; I think it has reached the point of being a ‘signal grace.’

I could be watching a Catholic YouTube channel and the host has images of the walls of his home and studio. I am looking up stuff on Catholic sites or blogs and there are references to her or the image. I go to Saturday Vigil Mass with my wife wants to sit in a particular pew, but there’s an AC unit blasting arctic air and so we move to a pew in the rear of the church right next to a huge image of OLPH. At home I find a random image of OLPH sticking out of a pile of books. I go to Facebook and search for OLPH, I get as far as typing ‘our’ and the search result start appearing…. OLPH is the first. (Granted Facebook tracks you away from itself, but I think I have enough addons to block that.) An image I forgot I had peeks out from a stack of books. I go to a med appointment and arrive early, leave early, and so have time to go to Mass. It’s the new Memorial of Mary, Mother of the Church. While not tied to the devotion to OLPH, in my mind I make theological and spiritual connections between my being called to go to Mass on that day and the feasts. (Mary is the Mother of the Church, and as we Catholics are members of the Mystical Body pf Christ, which is the church, she is the Mother of us. And under her title of Our Lady of Perpetual Help, she is our Mother who will help us forever, regardless of space and time or any other situation, since the Church and Her teachings are applicable to anyone, anywhere, in any time.)

Our Lady of Perpetual Help is among the most descriptive titles of the Blessed Virgin in her role as our Heavenly Mother, and her maternal care over us. 

 Here’s the image:

CultofPerpetualHelpVetusImagoMiraculisClaraVenerata

From Wikipedia:

  • The original wooden icon measures 17″ × 21″ inches, and is written on hard nut wood with a gold leaf background. The image depicts the following symbols:
  • The Blessed Virgin Mary — wearing a dress of dark red, in Byzantine iconography the color of the empress, the Queen.
  • The subject shows Mary looking towards the faithful while pointing at her son, Jesus Christ who is frightened by the instruments of crucifixion and is depicted with a fallen sandal.
  • The left side is Saint Michael Archangel — carrying the lance and sponge of the crucifixion of Jesus.
  • On the right side is Saint Gabriel Archangel carrying a 3-bar cross and nails.
  • The Virgin Mary has a star on her forehead signifying her role as Star of the Sea while the cross on the side has been claimed as referring to the Greek monastery which produced the icon.

More on the symbolism here. 

It is one of the most venerated images of Our Lady; largely due to its beauty and intricate design and deep symbolism, but also through the numerous miraculous cures and conversions rendered through it. Its history is sketchy and some parts contradict each other, but such is often the case when records are oral, lost or there are gaps within the various accounts. It is reputed to be a copy of a painting of Our Lady done by St. Luke, the author of the third Gospel and the Acts. That painting was destroyed by the Moslem invaders of Constantinople in the 15th Century. It had been copied numerous times and these made their way throughout Eastern Christendom. This particular copy, with some emendations by later artists, possibly dates from the 13th or 14th Centuries. It wound up in Rome in the 16th Century after being stolen or spirited out of Crete by a Cretan merchant. This is one of the contradictions. One story claims the merchant was a pious man who merely sought to protect the image from Moslems who were invading Crete; another story holds that he was hired by rich Italians who wanted spectacular eastern images to decorate the churches they sponsor, and thus reap the rewards of pilgrimages and such. At any rate, his piety, if not present when he brought the image out of Crete, was in evidence on his deathbed when he made a promise to Our Lady to find a suitable home for it. She appeared to him and mentioned a church in Rome in between St. John Lateran and St. Mary Major. This church was named after St. Matthew. It supposedly did not make it there right away. The merchant died and the image fell into the possession of his best friend, present at his death, who temporarily kept it. The story, which is rather complicated, goes that this man’s wife and father coveted the image because of her pride and his greed. Only after repeated apparitions of Our Lady to convince them to release it to the Church where she had wanted it, the image was finally transferred to St. Matthew’s, but not before initially failing to achieve that goal until after the predicted death of the merchant’s friend and the sheer terror of the wife and father upon realizing they were opposing the will of Heaven. Like I said, the story is complicated and you should really look it up. It would make a great movie by Mel Gibson or better yet, Leonardo Defilippis.

The image remained in St. Matthew’s for a few centuries until that church was destroyed by invading French in the 19th Century. It was spirited out to another church in Rome, where its initial identity became largely forgotten. Eventually, the Institute of the Most Holy Redeemer, an Order founded by St. Alphonsus Liguori, needed to build a headquarters in Rome, and they coincidentally built it on the site of the old St. Matthew’s Church (remember? the original desired home by Our Lady for the image!) Well, they wanted a suitable image for their HQ. And one day, one of the Redemptorists was looking through some old books and discovered the history of the area and found out about St. Matthew’s and that it was the home of the renowned image of OLPH. Some of its history was told, and the Redemptorists wondered about its current whereabouts. Then, through a series of coincidences, chance circumstances, and the fortuitous memory of an altar boy-turned-priest who was at the right place at the right time and heard the right thing said by the right person, the picture was retrieved from where it had been moved after St. Matthew’s was destroyed and the Redemptorists moved it to their Church, where it has been since the late 19th Century.

I think I got the details correct, I recalled this from memory after reading a little book on the history of the image and my short-term memory at times sucks. Come to think of it, Leonardo Defilippis could make a trilogy of the image’s history. 

Anyway, I’m writing all this just to let you know of this image. It is a devotion to Our Lady that I think should be popular amongst sober Catholics. Why I haven’t developed such a devotion before now is a mystery, but better late than never! Who else needs the assistance of such a Lady, but those of us who have struggled with alcohol and drugs; and oftentimes for years? Including spending years trying to get clean and sober? Any especially since many of us (like me) have been abandoned by their families? 

Look up Our Lady of Perpetual Help (sometimes called Mother of Perpetual Help.) Her feast day is June 27th. The Novena begins June 18th. I will post one or more just before. Also, try and get yourself an image of Our Lady of Perpetual Help; it would make a nice addition to your prayer area or just your home. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Please help support Sober Catholic! Your donations are appreciated.

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Hi, all. I am writing this post to make a request. I have been blogging since early 2007, that’s nearly 15 1/2 years. I’ve quite enjoyed it and will probably never give it up (unless I can no longer mentally perform the tasks or I die.) This request is a humble one for donations. Sober Catholic’s hosting bill for the next three years is due at the end of the first week of June; with our domain names* coming due a week later. Although we can pay them, doing so will take quite a chunk from our financial reserves. I will try and negotiate a discount with the hosting service, given that we’ve been loyal customers sine 2010. But, it would be greatly appreciated if those of you who enjoy this blog can help support it in some way so as to help defray the costs.

I’m not just going to ask you to ‘please please gimme money’ and that’s that. I will try and do something in return. Maybe for $5 you can suggest something that I can blog about? Something at the intersection of Catholic Faith and recovery? Something else? My opinion or thoughts on this, that or whatever?

How about this? For $10 you get a PDF copy of one of my books (you pick). I know $10 is more that you’d pay if you bought them online from where they’re distributed, (unless you had to pay shipping) but there will be the ‘added value’ of supporting the blog. 

You can always just donate whatever you want without getting anything. That is true charity; giving something without expecting anything in return. But that doesn’t diminish the idea of giving in exchange for something. That’s nice, it establishes a kind of ‘proprietary’ interest in the blog. In fact, it’s giving me an idea for another post… But for now, something, anything you feel that contributes to the upkeep of this blog will be appreciated. 

You can PayPal me, or use the PayPal link in the sidebar. If you prefer to send a cheque, you can email me (details in the About Me page.)

*Regarding ‘domain names:” my wife and I have three sites. There’s this Sober Catholic blog, plus I have another at Paul Sofranko which I think I will transform into a static promotional site for current and future Sober Catholic books (yes, I’m planning more and should start the actual writing soon on one or two.) It could be renamed “Sober Catholic Books” or something like that; plus my wife has her site which she uses as like a ‘calling card’ for all of her online storefronts. Hey, there’s and idea!! You can also help out by checking out her stores and maybe buying stuff!!!

Whatever you do send, you will be in my prayers. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Why I stopped regularly attending AA meetings

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I wrote in my last post, “Today is my Twentieth Soberversary” that I had last attended an AA meeting as a regular member in 2004, and that I left it in anger. I thought that I had posted about it before, but couldn’t find it. If it exists, then finding it is taking more time than writing a new one about the experience. So, I’m writing a new one. Or the first one. Shut up and blog, Paulcoholic.

OK, so it was August 2004. I was ‘going through some stuff’ that summer and one of the ways I got through it all was to be the coffeemaker for my Home Group. Usually, the job rotates. My Home Group met every weekday and I ‘needed’ to make it everyday to cope. No one objected as they knew I needed it and wouldn’t keep it as a daily service work forever. So for a few months, I made the coffee every day. And then around August I decided that I had gotten past the worst of what I was going through and was now ready to relinquish the job, keeping just Monday for myself. This other guy had taken Tuesday.

All was fine for a while. Then one day, a Monday, actually, the meeting began and the Tuesday Guy was the chairperson. My Home Group had some liberal policies as to who can chair a meeting. Tuesday Guy had only three months in the program, but he wanted to chair it and no one objected. When it came time to come up with a topic, no one suggested any and so he came up with one. It was a topic that oftentimes is introduced during the holidays. “What to do when confronted with a drinking situation.” (Because around Christmas, Easter and other holidays, a recovering person often finds themselves in just such a situation.) Tuesday Guy, if I recall correctly, recently lost a friend in a motorcycle accident, and there was going to be an event held in the deceased’s honor at a local drinking establishment; ‘and should I go?”

I dislike sharing when I have no personal “experience, strength and hope” to relate to. In other words, if the topic is something I have no personal experience with, I’ll pass when called upon to share. I’d never really faced this situation, so I’ll just pass. 

Tuesday Guy started calling upon people to share. Then it was my turn. I said, “I’ll pass.” But Tuesday guy would have none of that. “No, Paul, we all want to know what you think about this!” 

Well, I always had this paranoid fear in AA meetings that one day I’ll be called upon to share, I’d refuse, and promptly be told that isn’t the custom at this meeting; ‘here, when you’re called to share, you must.’ A paranoid, irrational fear, to be true; and that it would only happen if I attended a meeting far beyond my home area, where they might have strange customs. Except that it didn’t happen in some far away AA meeting, it happened right in my Home Group! So, I figured I’ll just share what I know from AA’s ‘Conference-approved literature,’ in this case, something from their book, “Living Sober.” And so I quoted from memory a line that said something about ‘if you have a legitimate reason for being there,’ and at that point Tuesday Guy interrupted me. “Well, Paul doesn’t know what he’s talking about; can someone else share?”

I was stunned. My worst fear was not only realized, that of being forced to share, but while sharing relevant book knowledge, I was humiliated in from of a bunch of people. The meeting continued. The men couldn’t look at me; the women gave me sympathetic looks. Almost everyone quoted the same line I started quoting. 

The meeting ended. I don’t even recall if I helped clean up. As coffeemaker, my job was done prior to the meeting; afterwards others pitch in with the clean up. 

Remember, this was Monday and Tuesday follows, meaning Tuesday Guy was going to be there early the next day to open up and make the coffee. I was prepared.

Tuesday rolls around and I get there early. I timed my arrival so that I showed up after about when I thought Tuesday Guy got there but before anyone else arrived. I was successful. The site was opened, he was there, in the back, alone, getting ready. I stalked over to him, he sees me coming and has a crooked smirk. I went up to him and slammed down on the table, right next to the coffee machine, my copy of the building’s keys. I said quite loudly, almost shouting into his smirky face, “I AM NOT COMING TO THIS MEETING EVER AGAIN!”

And then I stormed out. All I can say is that when I was walking to my car I had a feeling of liberation. The sun was sunnier. The birds were chirpier. The cars driving by were carrier. And a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I literally felt lighter.

And I never set foot in that meeting. Well, not quite true. I did return a over a year later to an occasional meeting, but it had moved to a different location by then and so I figured my declaration held. 

Since that day in August 2004, I never considered myself a regular meeting attendee. As I’ve said before, I am a misfit in a fellowship of misfits. I don’t bother with live meetings; occasionally dabble in online recovery and read AA literature. But having a Home Group? Nope. 

A couple of posts on Catholics attending AA meetings:

Should Catholics Attend AA meetings? I heard they’re bad.

A Fortnight of Years in Sobriety

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Today is my Twentieth Soberversary

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I have been sober today for twenty years. To me, anniversaries ending in “0” or “5” are monumental. I don’t know why, it just seems that way.

I had to let that sink in. Twenty years. While I am not trying to act out the sin of pride, if you knew me way back when around 2001 and 2002, you’d laugh at the idea of me getting twenty days sober, much less twenty years.

I never had that ‘spiritual awakening’ described in the Big Book of AA; no ‘white light’ or anything like that. My spiritual awakening was of the more gradual kind. I stopped going to liquor stores because I was physically unable to go (which caused a brief period of sobriety of 3 1/2 months); then I returned to drinking over the stress of visits of certain family members; then I stopped because I ran out of booze and it was too late to get to a liquor store. I think during the day I was prevented from going by the family visit and a miscalculation of the amount of booze I had on hand. I don’t recall. So, at some point late in the evening of Wednesday, May 22, 2002 I stopped drinking and went to bed. This was followed by 88 hours of insomnia culminating in some trippy hallucinations. 

I’ve done AA. I began attending meetings in June 2001; didn’t sober up at first until February 2002, but like I said above, relapsed in May. I haven’t considered myself a regular meeting goer since 2004, when I left a meeting in my old Home Group in anger. (I may have blogged about it before, but according to a search of my blog, I apparently didn’t. I’ tell that story in a separate blogpost.) I briefly returned to regular attendance in 2014, but it only last a month or two. I didn’t fit in. I guess I’m just a misfit in a fellowship of misfits. I find AA and the Twelve Steps useful, whilst I don’t bother with meetings, I frequently read the literature when I need a dose. 

Anyway, today is the Feast Day of St. Rita of Cascia. She is known as the patron saint of impossible cases. And, I was quite an impossible case. It’s possible I imagined it, but I think she picked me to be her client. And here’s how she can help YOU in your recovery. As long as I’m posting links to posts on her, you might like this one.

Two other saints assisted in my recovery. One is St. Maximilian Kolbe, founder of the Militia of the Immaculata. I found the his Total Consecration to the Blessed Virgin to have been particularly crucial as it provided a tremendous flow of daily graces firming up my convictions and direction (staying sober); as well as of providing a framework within which I can develop my Faith. (NOTE TO SELF: please complete the ‘Daily Marching Orders from Mary’ post. It’s been in draft mode long enough.) Another is the Venerable Matt Talbot, whose way of recovery focuses on transferring your love of booze on to Jesus. You make a gift to Him of your addiction and a relapse means you are taking that gift back. His Way of Recovery is detailed in this excellent book, which all “Sober Catholics” should  have. (There are other saints I am devoted to. St. Therese of Lisieux is another. That book I linked to in the previous sentence suggests that she is ‘the theologian’ of the Matt Talbot Way of Sobriety. Study her “Little Way” and things won’t be the same for you; particularly her thoughts on God’s mercy vs His judgment.).) 

I think I’ll go write that post about why my last regular AA meeting was in 2004 (I don’t count my return in 2014 as it didn’t last long.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

NOTE TO SELF: Novenas coming up

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Today is the Feast of St. Joseph the Worker. It is in honor of his role within the Holy Family as the provider and breadwinner; inasmuch as he had never said anything recorded in Scripture, there’s the added concept of his humility and quiet service in supporting his loved ones. The Feast was established to combat the Communist unholy May Day celebrations of violent class struggle and atheistic propaganda.

I am posting this to remind myself that there are a lot of Novenas that I say in May, and I had forgotten to say one in honor of St. Joseph the Worker. So, don’t read this post since it’s for me 😉

First up is the Novena to Our Lady of Fatima. Beginning May 4th and ending May 12th, it honors the Marian Apparitions in Fatima, Portugal in 1917. On the Feast Day of Our Lady of Fatima, May 13th begins the Novena to St. Rita of Cascia. (Oh, by the way, on that day in 2019 I joined the Militia of the Immaculata’s affiliated association, the Knights at the Foot of the Cross – those who are members are M.I.’s who particularly offer up their suffering to win the world for the Sacred Heart of Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, as well as to strengthen the M.I.’s mission in that regard. I did not need to remind myself of that, but since you’re ignoring my request to not read this post, I figure I’ll tell you something.) The Feast of St. Rita, who is of great importance to me, falls of May 22nd. That is also my sobriety day; I’ll be 20 years sober then! I love St. Rita because I think she picked me as a client of hers, given the coincidence of her feast day with my sobriety day. Also, I was a tough ex-drunk, definitely not a poster child for early sobriety. Since she is the patroness of “Hopeless Cases,” I think that’s why she picked me. God gave me sufficient reason, or rather graces, to finally stop drinking on May 22, 2002. And St. Rita was put in charge! Thanks St. Rita. (NOTE TO SELF: write more about her, especially during the Novena.) OK, on the feast day of St. Rita begins a novena to St. Joan of Arc. Her feast day is May 30th. I do not have as yet a great devotion St. Joan, but another saintly friend of mine, St. Therese of Lisieux, did. So, to honor that friendship, I started saying a St. Joan Novena a few years ago. (I forgot last year, hence another reason for this post.)

So, from the 4th to the 12, the Fatima novena…. From the13th to the 21st,  the novena to St. Rita of Cascia….. And from the 22nd to the 30th, the novena to St. Joan of Arc. (Novenas typically end on the day before the feast day, but not always. Of you’re a big devotee of St. Joan, you’d probably begin on May 21st. I’ll be a day late but that’s OK.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Blog History and a new job!

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It has come to my attention that I last posted here about six weeks ago. This means history has been made here at Sober Catholic! December 2021 was the very first month without any blogposts. I was going to say “That’s nothing to be proud of!” but when you consider I’ve been doing this since January 2007, that is an accomplishment. OK, a few times I ‘cheated,’ realizing on the first of a month that I missed the previous one; so I’d write a quickie post and backdate it. (At least I issued a disclaimer announcing the backdating.) I thought about doing that again, but as the days of January marched on, I succumbed to blogging honesty and decided against such chicanery. 

History was also made on January 5th, when this blog celebrated (quietly) its 15th bloggaversary.

I have had some good reasons for missing December 2021 and half of January 2022. Times had gotten a bit difficult. The stress of the Christmas season (from the secular side) plus some personal struggles had contributed to blogging neglect. I have been out of work for a while since the COVID pandemic ended my regular job in 2020. Relying on the additional pandemic unemployment insurance while it lasted, I also had been searching for a work-at-home position. A few came and went; some turned out to be bogus, or otherwise not what they seemed, and in December 2021 things seemingly looked up. I found a ghostwriter content job, which actually turned out to be painful. While I appreciated the opportunity, given the time spent writing, and factoring in the fixed rate of payment for the articles, I’d be making minimum wage. For 1979. And then…

… I found another. I have been a member of a certain online community dedicated to permaculture and homesteading for quite a while and took to the welcoming and informative atmosphere. I won’t mention the specific place for the time being, but after a fashion, I will come back and edit this with the actual identity. (People good with search engines and intuition can probably guess.) Anyway, for some odd reason the community took to me as well, and OK, to make a long story short, the … interesting… fellow who runs the place needed a virtual assistant and I thought, “What the hooey, I’ll try for it.” Well, if I ain’t a worm wriggling around in a fresh compost heap, but I got the job! Been doing it for almost a month. I work six days a week (he’d like seven, but that so isn’t happenin.’ )

Futures are always uncertain, but I had to trust in Divine Providence. The very idea that I’d be working for this dude would have been considered utterly ridiculous just a few months ago. This place relies a lot on volunteers, and they periodically go through a process of ‘promoting’ regular members into positions of greater responsibility in their forums. That happened to me last Summer or Autumn. I was shocked. But in retrospect, I think I can see the hand of Divine Providence at work in it since that ‘promotion’ was the seemingly natural progression of my involvement there since I started in their forums when the pandemic hit. I took to gardening a lot, and the site is a great one for that, and I freely shared my experiences. The site became one of the few ‘happy places’ for me online during the traumas of 2020 (pandemic and the US Presidential election.) 

During all of this I prayed: prayed to get through 2020, then 2021, and through it all that I obtain a ‘job suitable to my talents.’ It took a while, but it finally arrived last month. I could not have applied for this job in 2020, or even during most of 2021. It was only because of the amount of time I spent on the forums, growing in the knowledge of the place which lead to the site’s volunteers noticing me and ‘promoting’ me to a position of responsibility that gave me the confidence that I might have a chance.

There is a lesson in this. And that is PRAYER works, and quite often the answer is in God’s time, not yours. It certainly would have helped for me to have gotten this much earlier, except that it would not have been possible until I had achieved certain skills or a reputation. I like to think, now, that God had been answering this all along, from the Spring of 2020 which coincided with my participation in this particular site. He was shaping me to be the person suitable for this assistant’s job for well over a year. God exists outside of time, and He knows the future that works out from amongst all the possible ones. And He knew that this place would be needing a new assistant for the guy who runs it. And He drew me along, keeping me (somewhat) free of despair over finances and economics until the job was ready and I was ready for it.

Now, this doesn’t mean that I can go all “Lah-dih-dah! God got me this job and I can just do whatever! It’s mine!” No, while I believe He did help me obtain it,  now I have to rely on His graces to keep it and do it well. When God answers your prayers, you have to be grateful, and take it for granted.

Life is interesting. Sometimes I wish it were less so, but it is what it is. OH!! Yumpin’ Yiminy! I almost forgot! NEXT YEAR YOU HAVE TO SAY THIS PRAYER! I THINK IT WAS THE FINAL KEY, THE CORNERSTONE THROUGH WHICH MY JOB SEARCH PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED: The St. Andrew Christmas Novena. It worked! I said it in 2020, with no apparent success. But, as I said above, it may have been part of the manner by which I was ‘prepared,’ for the answer. Leading up to that, I would also like to publicly thank, in no particular order (I sound like I’m an Oscar or Emmy winner thanking all the people who helped me along the way.) St. Maximilian Kolbe, St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Rita of Cascia, St. Faustina Kowalska, St. Pio of Pietrelcina, and St. Joan of Arc. I think they were all the saints I… OH, and St. Gemma Galgani, can’t forget her! And obviously, a BIG SHOUT OUT to the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph! 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)