Our Lady of Perpetual Help

I have recently been the recipient of multiple odd ocurrences of the image of Our Lady of Perpetual Help (OLPH). The seeming randomness has gone beyond being mere coincidence; I think it has reached the point of being a ‘signal grace.’

I could be watching a Catholic YouTube channel and the host has images of the walls of his home and studio. I am looking up stuff on Catholic sites or blogs and there are references to her or the image. I go to Saturday Vigil Mass with my wife wants to sit in a particular pew, but there’s an AC unit blasting arctic air and so we move to a pew in the rear of the church right next to a huge image of OLPH. At home I find a random image of OLPH sticking out of a pile of books. I go to Facebook and search for OLPH, I get as far as typing ‘our’ and the search result start appearing…. OLPH is the first. (Granted Facebook tracks you away from itself, but I think I have enough addons to block that.) An image I forgot I had peeks out from a stack of books. I go to a med appointment and arrive early, leave early, and so have time to go to Mass. It’s the new Memorial of Mary, Mother of the Church. While not tied to the devotion to OLPH, in my mind I make theological and spiritual connections between my being called to go to Mass on that day and the feasts. (Mary is the Mother of the Church, and as we Catholics are members of the Mystical Body pf Christ, which is the church, she is the Mother of us. And under her title of Our Lady of Perpetual Help, she is our Mother who will help us forever, regardless of space and time or any other situation, since the Church and Her teachings are applicable to anyone, anywhere, in any time.)

Our Lady of Perpetual Help is among the most descriptive titles of the Blessed Virgin in her role as our Heavenly Mother, and her maternal care over us. 

 Here’s the image:

CultofPerpetualHelpVetusImagoMiraculisClaraVenerata

From Wikipedia:

  • The original wooden icon measures 17″ × 21″ inches, and is written on hard nut wood with a gold leaf background. The image depicts the following symbols:
  • The Blessed Virgin Mary — wearing a dress of dark red, in Byzantine iconography the color of the empress, the Queen.
  • The subject shows Mary looking towards the faithful while pointing at her son, Jesus Christ who is frightened by the instruments of crucifixion and is depicted with a fallen sandal.
  • The left side is Saint Michael Archangel — carrying the lance and sponge of the crucifixion of Jesus.
  • On the right side is Saint Gabriel Archangel carrying a 3-bar cross and nails.
  • The Virgin Mary has a star on her forehead signifying her role as Star of the Sea while the cross on the side has been claimed as referring to the Greek monastery which produced the icon.

More on the symbolism here. 

It is one of the most venerated images of Our Lady; largely due to its beauty and intricate design and deep symbolism, but also through the numerous miraculous cures and conversions rendered through it. Its history is sketchy and some parts contradict each other, but such is often the case when records are oral, lost or there are gaps within the various accounts. It is reputed to be a copy of a painting of Our Lady done by St. Luke, the author of the third Gospel and the Acts. That painting was destroyed by the Moslem invaders of Constantinople in the 15th Century. It had been copied numerous times and these made their way throughout Eastern Christendom. This particular copy, with some emendations by later artists, possibly dates from the 13th or 14th Centuries. It wound up in Rome in the 16th Century after being stolen or spirited out of Crete by a Cretan merchant. This is one of the contradictions. One story claims the merchant was a pious man who merely sought to protect the image from Moslems who were invading Crete; another story holds that he was hired by rich Italians who wanted spectacular eastern images to decorate the churches they sponsor, and thus reap the rewards of pilgrimages and such. At any rate, his piety, if not present when he brought the image out of Crete, was in evidence on his deathbed when he made a promise to Our Lady to find a suitable home for it. She appeared to him and mentioned a church in Rome in between St. John Lateran and St. Mary Major. This church was named after St. Matthew. It supposedly did not make it there right away. The merchant died and the image fell into the possession of his best friend, present at his death, who temporarily kept it. The story, which is rather complicated, goes that this man’s wife and father coveted the image because of her pride and his greed. Only after repeated apparitions of Our Lady to convince them to release it to the Church where she had wanted it, the image was finally transferred to St. Matthew’s, but not before initially failing to achieve that goal until after the predicted death of the merchant’s friend and the sheer terror of the wife and father upon realizing they were opposing the will of Heaven. Like I said, the story is complicated and you should really look it up. It would make a great movie by Mel Gibson or better yet, Leonardo Defilippis.

The image remained in St. Matthew’s for a few centuries until that church was destroyed by invading French in the 19th Century. It was spirited out to another church in Rome, where its initial identity became largely forgotten. Eventually, the Institute of the Most Holy Redeemer, an Order founded by St. Alphonsus Liguori, needed to build a headquarters in Rome, and they coincidentally built it on the site of the old St. Matthew’s Church (remember? the original desired home by Our Lady for the image!) Well, they wanted a suitable image for their HQ. And one day, one of the Redemptorists was looking through some old books and discovered the history of the area and found out about St. Matthew’s and that it was the home of the renowned image of OLPH. Some of its history was told, and the Redemptorists wondered about its current whereabouts. Then, through a series of coincidences, chance circumstances, and the fortuitous memory of an altar boy-turned-priest who was at the right place at the right time and heard the right thing said by the right person, the picture was retrieved from where it had been moved after St. Matthew’s was destroyed and the Redemptorists moved it to their Church, where it has been since the late 19th Century.

I think I got the details correct, I recalled this from memory after reading a little book on the history of the image and my short-term memory at times sucks. Come to think of it, Leonardo Defilippis could make a trilogy of the image’s history. 

Anyway, I’m writing all this just to let you know of this image. It is a devotion to Our Lady that I think should be popular amongst sober Catholics. Why I haven’t developed such a devotion before now is a mystery, but better late than never! Who else needs the assistance of such a Lady, but those of us who have struggled with alcohol and drugs; and oftentimes for years? Including spending years trying to get clean and sober? Any especially since many of us (like me) have been abandoned by their families? 

Look up Our Lady of Perpetual Help (sometimes called Mother of Perpetual Help.) Her feast day is June 27th. The Novena begins June 18th. I will post one or more just before. Also, try and get yourself an image of Our Lady of Perpetual Help; it would make a nice addition to your prayer area or just your home. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Please help support Sober Catholic! Your donations are appreciated.

Hi, all. I am writing this post to make a request. I have been blogging since early 2007, that’s nearly 15 1/2 years. I’ve quite enjoyed it and will probably never give it up (unless I can no longer mentally perform the tasks or I die.) This request is a humble one for donations. Sober Catholic’s hosting bill for the next three years is due at the end of the first week of June; with our domain names* coming due a week later. Although we can pay them, doing so will take quite a chunk from our financial reserves. I will try and negotiate a discount with the hosting service, given that we’ve been loyal customers sine 2010. But, it would be greatly appreciated if those of you who enjoy this blog can help support it in some way so as to help defray the costs.

I’m not just going to ask you to ‘please please gimme money’ and that’s that. I will try and do something in return. Maybe for $5 you can suggest something that I can blog about? Something at the intersection of Catholic Faith and recovery? Something else? My opinion or thoughts on this, that or whatever?

How about this? For $10 you get a PDF copy of one of my books (you pick). I know $10 is more that you’d pay if you bought them online from where they’re distributed, (unless you had to pay shipping) but there will be the ‘added value’ of supporting the blog. 

You can always just donate whatever you want without getting anything. That is true charity; giving something without expecting anything in return. But that doesn’t diminish the idea of giving in exchange for something. That’s nice, it establishes a kind of ‘proprietary’ interest in the blog. In fact, it’s giving me an idea for another post… But for now, something, anything you feel that contributes to the upkeep of this blog will be appreciated. 

You can PayPal me, or use the PayPal link in the sidebar. If you prefer to send a cheque, you can email me (details in the About Me page.)

*Regarding ‘domain names:” my wife and I have three sites. There’s this Sober Catholic blog, plus I have another at Paul Sofranko which I think I will transform into a static promotional site for current and future Sober Catholic books (yes, I’m planning more and should start the actual writing soon on one or two.) It could be renamed “Sober Catholic Books” or something like that; plus my wife has her site which she uses as like a ‘calling card’ for all of her online storefronts. Hey, there’s and idea!! You can also help out by checking out her stores and maybe buying stuff!!!

Whatever you do send, you will be in my prayers. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Why I stopped regularly attending AA meetings

I wrote in my last post, “Today is my Twentieth Soberversary” that I had last attended an AA meeting as a regular member in 2004, and that I left it in anger. I thought that I had posted about it before, but couldn’t find it. If it exists, then finding it is taking more time than writing a new one about the experience. So, I’m writing a new one. Or the first one. Shut up and blog, Paulcoholic.

OK, so it was August 2004. I was ‘going through some stuff’ that summer and one of the ways I got through it all was to be the coffeemaker for my Home Group. Usually, the job rotates. My Home Group met every weekday and I ‘needed’ to make it everyday to cope. No one objected as they knew I needed it and wouldn’t keep it as a daily service work forever. So for a few months, I made the coffee every day. And then around August I decided that I had gotten past the worst of what I was going through and was now ready to relinquish the job, keeping just Monday for myself. This other guy had taken Tuesday.

All was fine for a while. Then one day, a Monday, actually, the meeting began and the Tuesday Guy was the chairperson. My Home Group had some liberal policies as to who can chair a meeting. Tuesday Guy had only three months in the program, but he wanted to chair it and no one objected. When it came time to come up with a topic, no one suggested any and so he came up with one. It was a topic that oftentimes is introduced during the holidays. “What to do when confronted with a drinking situation.” (Because around Christmas, Easter and other holidays, a recovering person often finds themselves in just such a situation.) Tuesday Guy, if I recall correctly, recently lost a friend in a motorcycle accident, and there was going to be an event held in the deceased’s honor at a local drinking establishment; ‘and should I go?”

I dislike sharing when I have no personal “experience, strength and hope” to relate to. In other words, if the topic is something I have no personal experience with, I’ll pass when called upon to share. I’d never really faced this situation, so I’ll just pass. 

Tuesday Guy started calling upon people to share. Then it was my turn. I said, “I’ll pass.” But Tuesday guy would have none of that. “No, Paul, we all want to know what you think about this!” 

Well, I always had this paranoid fear in AA meetings that one day I’ll be called upon to share, I’d refuse, and promptly be told that isn’t the custom at this meeting; ‘here, when you’re called to share, you must.’ A paranoid, irrational fear, to be true; and that it would only happen if I attended a meeting far beyond my home area, where they might have strange customs. Except that it didn’t happen in some far away AA meeting, it happened right in my Home Group! So, I figured I’ll just share what I know from AA’s ‘Conference-approved literature,’ in this case, something from their book, “Living Sober.” And so I quoted from memory a line that said something about ‘if you have a legitimate reason for being there,’ and at that point Tuesday Guy interrupted me. “Well, Paul doesn’t know what he’s talking about; can someone else share?”

I was stunned. My worst fear was not only realized, that of being forced to share, but while sharing relevant book knowledge, I was humiliated in from of a bunch of people. The meeting continued. The men couldn’t look at me; the women gave me sympathetic looks. Almost everyone quoted the same line I started quoting. 

The meeting ended. I don’t even recall if I helped clean up. As coffeemaker, my job was done prior to the meeting; afterwards others pitch in with the clean up. 

Remember, this was Monday and Tuesday follows, meaning Tuesday Guy was going to be there early the next day to open up and make the coffee. I was prepared.

Tuesday rolls around and I get there early. I timed my arrival so that I showed up after about when I thought Tuesday Guy got there but before anyone else arrived. I was successful. The site was opened, he was there, in the back, alone, getting ready. I stalked over to him, he sees me coming and has a crooked smirk. I went up to him and slammed down on the table, right next to the coffee machine, my copy of the building’s keys. I said quite loudly, almost shouting into his smirky face, “I AM NOT COMING TO THIS MEETING EVER AGAIN!”

And then I stormed out. All I can say is that when I was walking to my car I had a feeling of liberation. The sun was sunnier. The birds were chirpier. The cars driving by were carrier. And a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I literally felt lighter.

And I never set foot in that meeting. Well, not quite true. I did return a over a year later to an occasional meeting, but it had moved to a different location by then and so I figured my declaration held. 

Since that day in August 2004, I never considered myself a regular meeting attendee. As I’ve said before, I am a misfit in a fellowship of misfits. I don’t bother with live meetings; occasionally dabble in online recovery and read AA literature. But having a Home Group? Nope. 

A couple of posts on Catholics attending AA meetings:

Should Catholics Attend AA meetings? I heard they’re bad.

A Fortnight of Years in Sobriety

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Today is my Twentieth Soberversary

I have been sober today for twenty years. To me, anniversaries ending in “0” or “5” are monumental. I don’t know why, it just seems that way.

I had to let that sink in. Twenty years. While I am not trying to act out the sin of pride, if you knew me way back when around 2001 and 2002, you’d laugh at the idea of me getting twenty days sober, much less twenty years.

I never had that ‘spiritual awakening’ described in the Big Book of AA; no ‘white light’ or anything like that. My spiritual awakening was of the more gradual kind. I stopped going to liquor stores because I was physically unable to go (which caused a brief period of sobriety of 3 1/2 months); then I returned to drinking over the stress of visits of certain family members; then I stopped because I ran out of booze and it was too late to get to a liquor store. I think during the day I was prevented from going by the family visit and a miscalculation of the amount of booze I had on hand. I don’t recall. So, at some point late in the evening of Wednesday, May 22, 2002 I stopped drinking and went to bed. This was followed by 88 hours of insomnia culminating in some trippy hallucinations. 

I’ve done AA. I began attending meetings in June 2001; didn’t sober up at first until February 2002, but like I said above, relapsed in May. I haven’t considered myself a regular meeting goer since 2004, when I left a meeting in my old Home Group in anger. (I may have blogged about it before, but according to a search of my blog, I apparently didn’t. I’ tell that story in a separate blogpost.) I briefly returned to regular attendance in 2014, but it only last a month or two. I didn’t fit in. I guess I’m just a misfit in a fellowship of misfits. I find AA and the Twelve Steps useful, whilst I don’t bother with meetings, I frequently read the literature when I need a dose. 

Anyway, today is the Feast Day of St. Rita of Cascia. She is known as the patron saint of impossible cases. And, I was quite an impossible case. It’s possible I imagined it, but I think she picked me to be her client. And here’s how she can help YOU in your recovery. As long as I’m posting links to posts on her, you might like this one.

Two other saints assisted in my recovery. One is St. Maximilian Kolbe, founder of the Militia of the Immaculata. I found the his Total Consecration to the Blessed Virgin to have been particularly crucial as it provided a tremendous flow of daily graces firming up my convictions and direction (staying sober); as well as of providing a framework within which I can develop my Faith. (NOTE TO SELF: please complete the ‘Daily Marching Orders from Mary’ post. It’s been in draft mode long enough.) Another is the Venerable Matt Talbot, whose way of recovery focuses on transferring your love of booze on to Jesus. You make a gift to Him of your addiction and a relapse means you are taking that gift back. His Way of Recovery is detailed in this excellent book, which all “Sober Catholics” should  have. (There are other saints I am devoted to. St. Therese of Lisieux is another. That book I linked to in the previous sentence suggests that she is ‘the theologian’ of the Matt Talbot Way of Sobriety. Study her “Little Way” and things won’t be the same for you; particularly her thoughts on God’s mercy vs His judgment.).) 

I think I’ll go write that post about why my last regular AA meeting was in 2004 (I don’t count my return in 2014 as it didn’t last long.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

NOTE TO SELF: Novenas coming up

Today is the Feast of St. Joseph the Worker. It is in honor of his role within the Holy Family as the provider and breadwinner; inasmuch as he had never said anything recorded in Scripture, there’s the added concept of his humility and quiet service in supporting his loved ones. The Feast was established to combat the Communist unholy May Day celebrations of violent class struggle and atheistic propaganda.

I am posting this to remind myself that there are a lot of Novenas that I say in May, and I had forgotten to say one in honor of St. Joseph the Worker. So, don’t read this post since it’s for me 😉

First up is the Novena to Our Lady of Fatima. Beginning May 4th and ending May 12th, it honors the Marian Apparitions in Fatima, Portugal in 1917. On the Feast Day of Our Lady of Fatima, May 13th begins the Novena to St. Rita of Cascia. (Oh, by the way, on that day in 2019 I joined the Militia of the Immaculata’s affiliated association, the Knights at the Foot of the Cross – those who are members are M.I.’s who particularly offer up their suffering to win the world for the Sacred Heart of Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, as well as to strengthen the M.I.’s mission in that regard. I did not need to remind myself of that, but since you’re ignoring my request to not read this post, I figure I’ll tell you something.) The Feast of St. Rita, who is of great importance to me, falls of May 22nd. That is also my sobriety day; I’ll be 20 years sober then! I love St. Rita because I think she picked me as a client of hers, given the coincidence of her feast day with my sobriety day. Also, I was a tough ex-drunk, definitely not a poster child for early sobriety. Since she is the patroness of “Hopeless Cases,” I think that’s why she picked me. God gave me sufficient reason, or rather graces, to finally stop drinking on May 22, 2002. And St. Rita was put in charge! Thanks St. Rita. (NOTE TO SELF: write more about her, especially during the Novena.) OK, on the feast day of St. Rita begins a novena to St. Joan of Arc. Her feast day is May 30th. I do not have as yet a great devotion St. Joan, but another saintly friend of mine, St. Therese of Lisieux, did. So, to honor that friendship, I started saying a St. Joan Novena a few years ago. (I forgot last year, hence another reason for this post.)

So, from the 4th to the 12, the Fatima novena…. From the13th to the 21st,  the novena to St. Rita of Cascia….. And from the 22nd to the 30th, the novena to St. Joan of Arc. (Novenas typically end on the day before the feast day, but not always. Of you’re a big devotee of St. Joan, you’d probably begin on May 21st. I’ll be a day late but that’s OK.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Blog History and a new job!

It has come to my attention that I last posted here about six weeks ago. This means history has been made here at Sober Catholic! December 2021 was the very first month without any blogposts. I was going to say “That’s nothing to be proud of!” but when you consider I’ve been doing this since January 2007, that is an accomplishment. OK, a few times I ‘cheated,’ realizing on the first of a month that I missed the previous one; so I’d write a quickie post and backdate it. (At least I issued a disclaimer announcing the backdating.) I thought about doing that again, but as the days of January marched on, I succumbed to blogging honesty and decided against such chicanery. 

History was also made on January 5th, when this blog celebrated (quietly) its 15th bloggaversary.

I have had some good reasons for missing December 2021 and half of January 2022. Times had gotten a bit difficult. The stress of the Christmas season (from the secular side) plus some personal struggles had contributed to blogging neglect. I have been out of work for a while since the COVID pandemic ended my regular job in 2020. Relying on the additional pandemic unemployment insurance while it lasted, I also had been searching for a work-at-home position. A few came and went; some turned out to be bogus, or otherwise not what they seemed, and in December 2021 things seemingly looked up. I found a ghostwriter content job, which actually turned out to be painful. While I appreciated the opportunity, given the time spent writing, and factoring in the fixed rate of payment for the articles, I’d be making minimum wage. For 1979. And then…

… I found another. I have been a member of a certain online community dedicated to permaculture and homesteading for quite a while and took to the welcoming and informative atmosphere. I won’t mention the specific place for the time being, but after a fashion, I will come back and edit this with the actual identity. (People good with search engines and intuition can probably guess.) Anyway, for some odd reason the community took to me as well, and OK, to make a long story short, the … interesting… fellow who runs the place needed a virtual assistant and I thought, “What the hooey, I’ll try for it.” Well, if I ain’t a worm wriggling around in a fresh compost heap, but I got the job! Been doing it for almost a month. I work six days a week (he’d like seven, but that so isn’t happenin.’ )

Futures are always uncertain, but I had to trust in Divine Providence. The very idea that I’d be working for this dude would have been considered utterly ridiculous just a few months ago. This place relies a lot on volunteers, and they periodically go through a process of ‘promoting’ regular members into positions of greater responsibility in their forums. That happened to me last Summer or Autumn. I was shocked. But in retrospect, I think I can see the hand of Divine Providence at work in it since that ‘promotion’ was the seemingly natural progression of my involvement there since I started in their forums when the pandemic hit. I took to gardening a lot, and the site is a great one for that, and I freely shared my experiences. The site became one of the few ‘happy places’ for me online during the traumas of 2020 (pandemic and the US Presidential election.) 

During all of this I prayed: prayed to get through 2020, then 2021, and through it all that I obtain a ‘job suitable to my talents.’ It took a while, but it finally arrived last month. I could not have applied for this job in 2020, or even during most of 2021. It was only because of the amount of time I spent on the forums, growing in the knowledge of the place which lead to the site’s volunteers noticing me and ‘promoting’ me to a position of responsibility that gave me the confidence that I might have a chance.

There is a lesson in this. And that is PRAYER works, and quite often the answer is in God’s time, not yours. It certainly would have helped for me to have gotten this much earlier, except that it would not have been possible until I had achieved certain skills or a reputation. I like to think, now, that God had been answering this all along, from the Spring of 2020 which coincided with my participation in this particular site. He was shaping me to be the person suitable for this assistant’s job for well over a year. God exists outside of time, and He knows the future that works out from amongst all the possible ones. And He knew that this place would be needing a new assistant for the guy who runs it. And He drew me along, keeping me (somewhat) free of despair over finances and economics until the job was ready and I was ready for it.

Now, this doesn’t mean that I can go all “Lah-dih-dah! God got me this job and I can just do whatever! It’s mine!” No, while I believe He did help me obtain it,  now I have to rely on His graces to keep it and do it well. When God answers your prayers, you have to be grateful, and take it for granted.

Life is interesting. Sometimes I wish it were less so, but it is what it is. OH!! Yumpin’ Yiminy! I almost forgot! NEXT YEAR YOU HAVE TO SAY THIS PRAYER! I THINK IT WAS THE FINAL KEY, THE CORNERSTONE THROUGH WHICH MY JOB SEARCH PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED: The St. Andrew Christmas Novena. It worked! I said it in 2020, with no apparent success. But, as I said above, it may have been part of the manner by which I was ‘prepared,’ for the answer. Leading up to that, I would also like to publicly thank, in no particular order (I sound like I’m an Oscar or Emmy winner thanking all the people who helped me along the way.) St. Maximilian Kolbe, St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Rita of Cascia, St. Faustina Kowalska, St. Pio of Pietrelcina, and St. Joan of Arc. I think they were all the saints I… OH, and St. Gemma Galgani, can’t forget her! And obviously, a BIG SHOUT OUT to the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph! 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

About Me Page update and email address change

Hi. Just some minor bookeeping: I updated the About Me Page and noticed that I had incorrect email addresses and like the idiot I am sometimes forgot to update it. I had changed to Yahoo, but have since gone back to using Gmail (temporarily until I finally, after all these years, activate my domain name email.) I just went through my Yahoo inbox and have flagged a few important emails I need to reply to. (Most are spam or subscriptions.) 

Also, on that Page I updated some places where you can find me online. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Are You Prepared to Die?

Someday you will die. Me, too. No one is exempt. It will happen, guaranteed. If you have been recently exposed to death because a loved one has passed away, the possibility was brought to your attention. Most everyone is uncomfortable with it and will routinely brush it off. 

An article from long ago asks us this: Are You Prepared to Die? Quote: “The Scripture often emphasizes the suddenness of death and judgment.”

(Via Archdiocese of Washington Blog.)

Well, are you? The reality of death is something many people avoid until it confronts them full on. And even then, some people attempt to shun it.

The inconvenient truth is that we are better prepared to face death when we do not wait to prepare ourselves for it when we are facing it.

The article gives some sobering consideration on preparing for death. November is an opportune time to contemplate it. 

I posted this because yesterday was the anniversary of my Mother’s death in 2005. I was subjected to some serious psychological abuse from members of my family. One in particular, the rest were guilty of ‘sins of omission,’ as in their failure to come to my aid given my vulnerable position. A few did, and for those I am grateful. Nevertheless, the consequences of the antagonist’s actions lead me to contemplate suicide. So, I approached death. I have since been keeping in mind preparations for it (frequent confession, and meditating on if ‘I am ready’ for when it’s time.

NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are very slowly being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

November is almost upon us!

Note: A reblog from a previous year and slightly edited.

November is my favorite month. Mainly because of The Feasts of All Saints on November 1st and All Souls on November 2nd and the general trend in the Church’s liturgical readings in the Mass and Divine Office on Christ’s Coming (First and Second). 

This leads to November being considered the “month of the dead”. While some may find that rather gruesome and macabre, I do not. I like November and its focus on the dead because of the reminder that what is around us is not the whole story, and that something greater lies beyond our reach. But not forever. We too, shall cross over to what lies beyond, and we should always be mindful of our death.

November and its associations with the dead also help me to connect with my loved ones that have died. They do not seem so far away. My Mom died in November (2005) and her death shattered my life, but out of that wreckage came a new life for me. My Dad died years earlier in 1995, and I find that I am becoming more like him in some ways (namely Catholicy). There are others hopefully in Heaven or Purgatory, and I think about them often.

Anyway, with November here there shall be a slight change in focus here at this blog. I mentioned this before: Slight change in direction for Sober Catholic. This is one of a number of posts from my old “death blog” that I edited and republished here. I recently completed the migration of posts from ‘4LT’ to here or my other blog. Many of you observant readers will notice a ‘retropost’ notice at the bottom of the migrated posts. Some were backdated, others postdated, some edited, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. If I recall, I chose the term ‘retropost’ because it implies ‘retroactive’ for those that were backdated, or to ‘retro,’ or ‘old’, ‘back in the day’ posts. 

So, have a Good November, everyone. (May that salutation be likened to a wish for a happy death. (A “Happy Death” in Catholicism is a death in which you end up in Heaven.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Anniversary of my Father’s Death

On this date in 1995 my father died.

He and I weren’t very close, (“fathers and sons …”) generational and attitudinal differences separated us.

As a result, I didn’t really grieve over his death. I mean, I was saddened and did feel the loss, but I wasn’t ripped apart by his death like I was over my Mom’s 10 years later.

This relative lack of impact was aided by the fact that I was 2,500 miles away and hadn’t seen him in 4 years.

I went home for his funeral, and reconnected with the family, but when I returned home to California I continued life as usual. I had started drinking heavily to cope with life’s problems a year before (failed romance) and my drinking picked up a little more upon my return, so that may have softened the need to grieve in a sober manner.

The point of this is that although I wasn’t too close to Dad during his life, I am much closer to him now. That would seem strange to non-Catholics, but for believers with a knowledge of the Communion of Saints, that shouldn’t seem strange at all.

Death doesn’t end a life. Death is just a passage from this life to another. This life is temporary, everything “is”, and then passes away to dust and a dim memory. The life after is eternal. Whether that life is spent in Heaven or Hell depends on what you do in your Earthly life.

There is a connection between those of us still here on Earth and those deceased. It is called, as I referenced in a previous paragraph, the Communion of Saints . (Via New Advent.) This is comprised of the “Church Militant” (those still on Earth), the “Church Suffering” (those in Purgatory) and the “Church Triumphant” (those in Heaven). Only the souls that have damned themselves to Hell are excluded.

“Communion” implies a community, wherein the members still can relate to one another. This relation is conducted by the means of prayer. We pray to the Church Triumphant and the Church Suffering for their intercessory power with God. We can somehow sense their presence (although admittedly that “sensing” may be wishful thinking).

They are there to help, comfort and console us. We are separated from them by the chasm of death, but that chasm can be crossed eventually by our own deathly passage.

I said earlier in this post that I am much closer to Dad now than while he was alive. I have grown to be much like him, at least with regard to the practice of my Catholic Faith. (I still haven’t taken up woodworking as a hobby, nor returned to fishing as a pastime, but may in time. I do enjoy yardwork, like he did, and love baseball, too.) I understand him better as the years progress and as I grow older.

To anyone who has lost a parent (or anyone beloved) to death, fear not. They are not gone from you permanently. Consider them as just having moved far away, and the distance you need to travel to meet with them again will take the rest of your life.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)