Category Archives: Me

If you can read this, then I am still blogging!

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The domain name registration for our blogs (this one, another I barely use, and my wife’s site) became due a week ago and without hesitation we paid for another year. I really should blog more. I know I’ve said that in the past about 89,621 times, and have apologized 64,229 times for not doing so, and have announced schemes plans 95,628 times for “blogging more.” I short, I do like it, and perhaps I should be just content with sticking it out and blogging the handful of times a month I do and let that be that.

It’s not as if there’s nothing to blog about, with plenty of “prompts” to do just that, such as the Liturgical Year, including devotional times, saint’s feast days and such (which I have made ample use of in years past.) There’s the apocalyptic times in which we live  replete with possible societal collapse, and how to pray and cope with all that; the very possibility that we could be on the receiving end of a Divine Chastisement! Lots of stuff! There is even tech to assist with that, such as calendars and notifications, reminders, blogging, writing and notetaking software!

Tools everywhere. Sigh.

The purpose of this post? None, whatsoever. Just checking in, I suppose. Later!

 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Willing to be ridiculous to obtain the miraculous.

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I tried posting this on LinkedIn either as a stand alone post or a profile description, but it exceeds the maximum length for either. Then I remembered that I have two blogs and so I decided to make use of them for this personal matter. The post title is an allusion to a famous quote of Mother Angelica, the Foundress of EWTN. She said, “Unless you are willing to do the ridiculous, God will not do the miraculous. When you have God, you don’t have to know everything about it; you just do it.” This kind of post sounds ridiculous, and proper people with proper concerns about proper appearances probably wouldn’t bother, but I am looking for the miraculous, and so be it. (However, I know quite a bunch about what I’m looking for, so there’s that…)

In this time of pandemic, with the relevant health concerns, (or scares, depending upon your POV) I am considering a career change. I hinted at my day job on a prior LinkedIn profile description (now edited out in favor of the current transitional one) but I would now like something different. What have I done for a living? Nice that you should ask: I am currently laid-off (due to the pandemic) from a thrift store chain where I received used goods at an outdoor remote donation center. What was a temporary job “until something better came along” has endured for over six years now. So, loyalty and perseverance are expressed character traits! I found that I actually enjoyed the work, hard as it was at times given the need to work in all types of weather and dealing with all types of individuals. I found the diversity of people and their offerings interesting, especially when they talked and told stories about themselves or their goods. I’d often wonder about the history of unusual or odd donations. Also, during periods in between receiving and sorting/stocking duties I found plenty of time to read and think, which assisted my enduring for 6 years. I even got a great idea for a novel which I have been puttering with.

My company is considering reopening next week (June 1st) in an upcoming “Phase.” Although I do welcome the opportunity to return, I have also enjoyed staying safe at home these past few months. I have health concerns which render me susceptible to COVID-19, although my health care professionals think I’ll survive. But given the impermanence of unemployment insurance, generous though it is, work is a need for personal dignity, economic sustainability and independence. I find myself wanting something that can make better use of my past professional, academic and general life-skills. And thus I am pursuing a career-change. I am seeking a remote (telework, “work-at-home”) position in what might variously be called “content creation,” or “copywriting” or “copyediting,” in other words, you have a site or product that needs words, well, I got loads of ’em and I know how to use them, too! Another position that I would be interested in is chat-based customer service. After completing training on your company’s products and services and assimilating appropriate knowledge, I can serve customers who have issues and problems in a chat interface. (I prefer the written word to the spoken.) I use a Mac, hopefully this is not an impediment to any proprietary software.

If you’re interested, or have job leads, or even advice and prayers, please email me at the addresses found here: MY CONTACT INFO. You can also reach me through LinkedIn; my profile is Paul Sofranko on LinkedIn. There is also this “About Me” page on my other blog. I am diligent, loyal, and possess a great work ethic. Salary is negotiable, I’d prefer flexible hours, or if fixed hours, then afternoons through evenings (i.e. “second shift.”) I am looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you for considering me, I do appreciate any interest.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Posted in Me

A sudden inspiration regarding forgiveness

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While praying this morning a sudden thought occurred to me regarding the concept of forgiveness. I do not recall by now where I was in my Morning Prayers and what triggered the thought. It doesn’t matter, really.

I have struggled with forgiveness quite a lot over the years; what it means, do you ‘feel anything,’ does it ‘take’ or do you have to forgive the aggressors or antagonists again and again if the feelings and resentments still oppress you.

My struggles with forgiveness stem primarily from the treatment that I was subjected to by my blood family, mostly siblings, in the aftermath of my Mom’s death in 2005. I won’t go into details about what they did, but it all made me consider suicide. I actually drove about my home county looking for a cliff or ravine I could drive off. I don’t recall why I settled upon that method of demise, but I was spared by a phone call from my pastor which alleviated some core issues.

So, back to the topic of forgiveness. Simply, what is it and what does it mean? Simply put, in my inspiration this morning, it means that…

…you no longer desire for those who have trespassed against you to be punished for their crimes. 

That’s it. No vengeance against them, no reconciliation with them, no alleviation or elimination of your feelings or resentments, no psychological process to cut off your emotional connection to the events that caused you suffering (nice, if you can do that and it works, but not necessary) no desiring their eternal damnation or even considerable time in Purgatory. You simply do not want them to suffer punishment for their actions against you.

That’s all. They wronged you, they hurt you even to the point of despair and possible suicide, and whatever else… it is no matter. Despite what they did, you just do not desire them to suffer for their crimes. At all.

Perhaps they’ll be punished for it someday. But you won’t be the agent of it, for be assured that God knows what they did and unless they repent and have remorse for their actions they will suffer for it.

Romans 12:19 “Do not defend yourselves, dearest ones. Instead, step aside from wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is mine. I shall give retribution, says the Lord.””

Luke 11:4 “And forgive us our sins, since we also forgive all who are indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation.”

Courtesy: Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

We see from those two Scripture passages that vengeance is reserved to the Lord alone and that our sins are forgiven if we forgive those who have sinned against us. Want forgiveness? Be forgiving. Leave it up to God what to do about those who have harmed you.

As a concluding note: Perhaps they can even let you know in some way that they’re sorry, and would like to make amends. That would be nice. An email, message through Facebook, an actual snail mail letter. Whatever. Some satisfaction, assuming they’re humble and compassionate enough to reach out to you. “I’m sorry, Paul, for hurting you so much. I’m sorry I made your grief worse; that what we did to you was like rubbing salt in a fresh wound. I’m sorry for driving you to consider suicide. I’m sorry for not coming to your aid against the one who was primarily responsible for your pain and despair. I’m sorry for not being there. I’m sorry you were so alone and abandoned…” Yeah, that would be nice. Don’t hang too many hopes on it happening, it may be best to just let it go.

I looked up “Forgiveness” in the search engine for this blog, found many posts but these seemed most interesting for today:

Reconciliation and Forgiveness

Forgiveness and the Adversary

Or there’s the post archive (warning, there IS A LOT): Forgiveness post archives 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Why I prefer the Latin Mass

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The weather this weekend where I live is abominable and to make sure I made my Sunday Mass obligation I attended a Vigil Mass in the Ordinary Rite (the Mass that is the most common and is everywhere. The Mass in the local language). The weather proved difficult on Sunday and thus I stayed home, missing my Mass in the Extraordinary Form (The Traditional Latin Mass.) I watched it online, streaming from St. Mary’s of Pine Bluff, WI.

I missed going in person. The “New Mass” doesn’t do it for me. I’ve long thought about why. I won’t go into the transcendence or the beauty or history or any of that. That’s better written elsewhere on blogs devoted to liturgy. My reasons for preferring it are all those mystical, wondrous reasons plus a few more ordinary ones.

Mainly, it’s more reflective of how I pray in the home. I do have a fairly hefty prayer life. By no means is this intended to be boastful, but my morning prayers take 60-90 minutes. Not so long in the evening, maybe 15 or so. I recite the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary (a pre-Vatican II version, dating from the early 20th Century) as well as the Liturgy of the Hours. Add to those a few prayers from the Militia of the Immaculata Prayer Book and Mother Angelica’s Prayer Book as well as some other odds and ends.

These all steep me into some pretty deep prayers and meditations. When I attend and pray the Latin Mass, I am connected to that. When I say my morning prayers, I am reminded of the Latin Mass. The two reinforce each other, which is as I think it should be.

The “New Mass” seems too trite and watered-down. I have witnessed exceptions to this. These exceptions all involved priests and altar servers who obviously understood that Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ is Truly Present in the sanctuary; Really Present – Body, Blood Soul and Divinity in the Eucharist and they comported themselves in a manner acknowledging this reality. For too many other times it seems as if the priest and servers and other laity in the sanctuary just think the Eucharist is a symbol. Or perhaps they thinks He’s the hippy Jesus that “understands and accepts” everything and is cool with things. They do not appear to behave in a manner consistent with the belief that the King of Kings and Lord of Lords Who is the Just Judge (and King of Mercy) is there. With them. Watching.

Also, when I’m at the Latin Mass, I feel that there is something mysterious going on. Some supernatural religious ritual enshrouded in mystery and antiquity is happening, I don’t fully grasp what is going on, but that’s all right. I don’t think I should because this is something greater than me. And we need mystery in our lives.

Kind of sad when you think your personal prayer life is more substantive and reverential than the common Mass.

Anyway, not that anyone’s asked, but that is why I prefer the Latin Mass.

See also: Spiritual Progression, Latin style and This Side of Paradise

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

WordPress app test post

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This is a test. This is a test of a new (to me) posting system. For the next few lines this post will be written by yours truly using the WordPress smartphone app. It’s a handy little thing that I can use to post to this blog and my other one on In Exile. I’ve already used the desktop version for quite a while; it’s great, from one piece of software you can post and manage everything for multiple blogs. You are also able to follow many other blogs using the included “Reader.” Commenting on other people’s WordPress blogs is also possible.

WordPress can be almost like another social network.

This might mean that I can post more often; for many times I just don’t feel like firing up the laptop but the phone is always on. We’ll see!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Paulie X; or “Get your recovery where you can.”

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“Get your recovery where you can” is an odd title, but it’s a very accurate description of my methods in maintaining my sobriety these seventeen years. It basically means just that: as I am reading or watching something, I have a tendency to try and glean something useful from it to help my sobriety. (The ‘Paulie X’ part is inferred later.)

You can find something valuable almost anywhere. TV shows, for instance. Three episodes of two different TV series have been critical in helping me maintain that sobriety. NONE of them are related to recovery; they weren’t non-fiction health shows or even religious and spiritual programs on EWTN, for example.

They are two Star Trek series and Babylon 5. Yes, science-fiction TV dramas.

I have had this blog post in mind for quite a while, but something happened the other day while watching a Star Trek episode that finally caused me to write it now.

I am a Trekkie (an avid fan of the whole Star Trek franchise.) I’ve watched it from the early 1970’s, so for about 45 years. Not too much in the past decade or so for reasons unimportant, but last week I ordered and recieved the “Complete Series” DVD collection for the Original Star Trek series; the “Classic” one, featuring the interstellar adventures of Capt. Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy and others on the Starship USS Enterprise, (“NCC-1701. No bloody A, B, C, or D”.) And so I started watching the episodes in the order presented in the collection. I hadn’t see these in perhaps fifteen years. It was like getting reacquanted with old friends, absent from your life since forever. (I had seen these episodes probably dozens of times over previous decades. Down to quoting whole parts and winning Star Trek trivia contests.)

I got to the episode entitled “Charlie X.” In that episode, “the Enterprise takes seventeen-year-old Charles Evans aboard for transport after he spent fourteen years alone on a deserted planet, but his inability to reintegrate with his fellow Humans is compounded by his very un-Human powers.” (Information courtesy Memory Alpha.)

Many of us who are alcoholics and addicts have poor social skills. Even after a period of sobriety, we may be a little odd. But Charles Evans had never been socialized, at all. He only had computer tapes and non-human incorporeal beings to talk to. No real information on how to properly interact with others of his own species.

This causes problems, exacerbated by the “super” powers the aliens had given him to survive.

In short, Charlie is a self-centered, egotistical jerk who thinks that needs and wants are identical, and his immediate gratification needs are paramount.

There are numerous scenes which illustrate this, and the growing conflict with the crew a consequence. One such scene is a chess game between Charlie and Mr. Spock, the logical-by-culture science officer and Enterprise second-in-command.

Charlie wanders in the rec room just when Captain Kirk defeats Spock in a game; Charlie asks to play and Kirk leaves him to Spock. Play begins and Spock defeats Charlie in two moves. Charlie initially denies having been checkmated, but the result is obvious and Spock leaves. Charlie studies the game boards and realizes that, indeed, he has lost. In anger he uses his powers to melt the pieces he played with.

This reached right inside me where it matters most and I saw myself melting those chess pieces.

What?

You see, one of my character defects (and I still have very many) is that inanimate objects really yank my scapulars when they don’t do what I want them to do. This has been for quite a while; back in the day when I was an AA meeting-goer I mentioned it; people thought it quaint. (I usually referred to the defect in humorous terms.) I also personalize it, as if the inanimate object is ticking me off intentionally, like it has a will of its own. (Electronic and mechanical devices are particular offenders. Don’t get me going about touch screens.)

Stupid, huh?

At times I do get seriously irritated when this happens (the inanimate objects’ refusal to cooperate, not my reaction). Once in a while I give the object a murderous look, as if I wanted to melt the thing with the sheer force of my anger.

That’s when I saw myself as Charlie X, in the chess piece melting scene. “Oh, my, gosh…”  I thought. I can relate to that.

The ego, immaturity, selfishness, the stupidity…

The silliness, too. I mean, really. Stuff just doesn’t work right sometimes. Or you’re using it wrong. Or gremlins…

Anyway, this whole experience had the impact of me witnessing something from an objective point of view. You see someone else exhibit bad behaviour that you’re guilty of and you see how ridiculous or wrong it is.

And so for the past few days whenever I feel like I want to melt something with my eyeballs, I grab hold of myself and mutter “Charlie X, remember Charlie X…”

Silly, yes, and it’s only been a few days; but so far, so good. Mostly. Realization-and-reaction-times are off once in a while. (By “realization-and-reaction-times” I mean the times when you realize you’re doing something wrong and your reaction – i.e. “self-control” – kicks in.)

So that’s that. Paulie X.

Oh, I mentioned that there are three episodes of two series. The others are “Emmisary,” from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and “Passing Through Gethsemane,” from Babylon 5. You’ll have to wait a little, maybe later this week.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Soberversary! Seventeen years sober, today.

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Today I achieved my seventeenth year of sobriety. That’s One Day At A Time repeated 6,209 times.

A certain Twelve Step movement helped a lot at first; but I credit my endurance to Our Lord and Saviour’s Church, the Holy Catholic Church and to His Most Holy Mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary. I think a few saints assisted along the way, too.

That’s all. No major revelations. “If I can manage to become sober, so can anyone.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Signal grace from St. Rita of Cascia

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A “signal grace” is a free gift from God (grace) that is extraordinary in nature and evident in some manner (signal). It may be a visible sign or deep interior feeling that a prayer has been answered or a direction you’ve been seeking has been given. Another name for signal grace is “God-incidence,” a play on “coincidence” as with God there are none, because God actually works in that mysterious intersection where seemingly unrelated events in space and time meet up.

Well, I received one of those signal graces today.

Almost every day I stop off at my territorial parish and pray for a few minutes in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I’m blessed that He is Really, Truly, Present: Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity just a couple of miles away. Anyway, this morning I wander in and see this by the side entrance:
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…a painting of St. Rita of Cascia. She is important to me in that her feast day, May 22nd, is also my sobriety date. This year will mark my 17th year sober. Just have to make it another thirteen days. 😉 I’ve written about her before: St. Rita of Cascia, Patroness of Lost Causes

Near this side entrance is a table where people can leave things for others to have. Usually the items are books, sometimes statues or prayer cards and other Catholicy things. Today, however, were a few paintings and posters. I saw St. Rita and went “Wow. MINE!” Although just to be sure that I could take it I hunted down someone with reasonably appropriate authority to give and found the nun who runs the social justice ministries. I figured she was official enough, so I asked her and she said “Yeah, take it. All that stuff out there is free.” I already knew that but this, to me, was a major haul and I had to check.

OK, so by now you’re asking, “That’s wonderful, Paulcoholic, but how is a beautiful painting of St. Rita of Cascia a signal grace? And could you get to a point?” Well, yes I am. Please read on…

I have been wondering a lot recently about life; (actually, my life has been consumed by this “wondering about life”) and where mine is going. I spent part of last night tossing about in bed wondering… I like to write or blog or whatever it is when you put words on paper or screen for others to read. Thing is, I don’t do it as often as you’d think I would. So, it got me to thinking, “Was it all just ego? Pride? Oh, look at me and read my thoughts?” I have been working on fiction off and on over the past 5 years, somewhat steadily (by my terms 😉 ) compared to prior eras but the novel is nowhere near being finished. I like working on it though; I love the characters and sometimes they go for rides in the car with me and we talk (Um, all righty…..) but seriously, the odds of it getting completed are somewhat low. But I might surprise myself. Or maybe not. Could it have all been a deception by Satan to keep me from doing better things? Or is it me with a discipline issue? Or, maybe the discipline issue was God’s way of keeping me from writing and publishing junk that I’d disown now since my reversion to the Catholic Church in 2002? Because the stuff I was working on back in the ’80s and ’90s was crap, no evidence of Faith (when I even had it) or a decent moral conviction. But mostly crap. So it might not have been a bad thing to be a slacker then as the stuff went unpublished or unfinished. Besides, I got material from slackerdom for writing when I did it later. BUT, since my reversion in ’02, and my desire to become a Catholic writer, one needs to know more about the Faith in order to be a good Catholic writer, and that takes time and maturation. So, my slowness in getting the novel written is actually all about me spending time learning more about the Faith, in order to write a better Catholic novel. Because I do read a lot. Or maybe that’s all hogwash and I’m just a lazy slacker, no matter how you slice it and reading is just an reputable way to be a slacker. But, see, I couldn’t be…. And then there’s…

See? This is what goes on in my brain. You would never want to take a stroll in there.

So, while tossing and turning in bed last night I was going over all this. All the reasons why I shouldn’t give up the whole fiction thing, (’cause I’ve been working on that most years since high school, I can’t give up now. Except for when I was drinking; then I stopped. You see, the stereotype is that writers drink a lot, as it’s a lonely profession or you get inspiration. But not me, I didn’t drink when I was writing and when I started drinking I gave up writing. I can’t even do that right.) Where was I? Oh, …Why I should try and do both it and blogging, or maybe just blunder along and be dissatisfied with both and give credence to the voices in my head.

And then I saw St. Rita this morning. And I thought, (right after going “Wow. MINE!) “OK, so I should focus on the blogging, after all St. Rita’s feast day is also my sobriety date, and she is the patroness of lost causes, and boy-oh-boy am I one. She ties it all together. After all, perhaps God gave me way back when the whole ‘like to write or blog or whatever it is when you put words on paper or screen for others to read’ so that after I stop drinking years later and sober up, I’d have sufficient skills to write a moderately enjoyable and reasonable blog on how the Catholic Faith can help maintain sobriety. The fiction could be just a hobby, or therapy. Maybe if that’s God’s will, too, it’ll get done somehow.” (yeah, like if I get a chunk load of money and can retire and scribble full time, yeah…)

I’ll have to mull this over (NO!!! IT’S A SIGNAL GRACE, YOU MORON; THERE’S NOTHING TO MULL OVER!). So, OK, now there’s certitude about things. I’m supposed to do this thing at SoberCatholic. “Blogging” is how my “writing” career will come to fruition. It’s not like all plans work out the way you intended. And sometimes write fiction, whenever, but not stress over it; if stuff gets finished, stuff’ll get finished. And from this some degree of confidence infuses other things in life. And I can still read a lot.

Perhaps this is a part of all that Divine Mercy stuff about “Jesus, I Trust in You,” and confidence in Divine Providence. TRUST, and He’ll let you in in things when you ask…

Here’s a close up:

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Mother Angelica, three years after

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Today marks the third anniversary of the death of Mother Mary Angelica of the Annunciation, the founder of the EWTN Catholic media empire.

If you enjoy reading this blog, you can thank her because the primary reason I am a Catholic today is because of her network and the shows on it.

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I had left the Church years before, thinking that organized religion was bunk. “I don’t need it, I can go to God directly by my own path.” Um, yeah, right. Anyway, I told my Reversion story before, so I won’t repeat it (read that link if you want to know more.) But EWTN was a critical part of my reversion in that when I sobered up, as I elaborated that element in Mother Angelica of EWTN dies, Easter Sunday 2016, quote:

“Mother Angelica was, to say the least, a significant factor in my reversion to the Catholic Church in 2002. It was a process that stretched over several years, but ultimately came to fruition when I was felled by my alcoholism and would up doing nothing but laying on my Mom’s couch for weeks on end as I was too ill to go anywhere and do anything. Mom watched EWTN every morning, mainly the Daily Mass and several devotional programs, particularly the Divine Mercy Chaplet. All of that, as well as Father Angelus Shaughnessy’s homilies and Father Benedict Groeschel’s programs. These all helped me straighten out my thinking.

My Mom had taught the Divine Mercy Chaplet to me during the years before my reversion and recovery. I think Mom knew something wasn’t quite right concerning my relationship to the Church, but she never said anything. Maybe she just taught it to me because I didn’t know it. Whatever, God knew, though! Mother Angelica’s broadcast of the Divine Mercy Chaplet devotion as well as the annual Divine Mercy Sunday celebrations from Eden Hill, MA slowly drew me back home. Although I wasn’t practicing the Faith, the annual Divine Mercy Sunday telecast was an annual event. I actually looked forward to it. The seeds were planted and slowly took root. Alcohol masked the interior growth. When I finally succumbed to it, being too physically weak to go anywhere, exposure to EWTN finally brought the Faith out from the dark nether regions of my soul where it had lain dormant.

Mother Angelica and EWTN helped me a lot in early recovery when I knew AA’s 12 Steps weren’t going to be enough. I had looked at them, thought them interesting and valuable, but felt they were at the shallow end of the spiritual pool. I needed something deeper. EWTN illustrated to me that Catholicism wasn’t something that you did for an hour on Sunday, but was a way of life, infusing your heart and mind with a manner of living and thinking that draws you closer to God, and ultimately, to our true Home, Heaven.

She had much to say about how to apply the Faith to daily living. Several books of hers directly dealt with problems and coping and just “How do I get through this…life…?” I have them all.”

…and also in Second Anniversary of Mother Angelica’s Death, quote:

“She has grown in importance for me. I have read both of her biographies written by Raymond Arroyo and have read (and studied) several of her books. I highly recommend getting “Mother Angelica’s Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality;” “Mother Angelica’s Private and Pithy Lessons from the Scriptures;” and “The Prayers and Personal Devotions of Mother Angelica.” All are available through EWTN Publishing. They are a wealth of spiritual wisdom. The treasures contained within are gems you can mine for years to come. Mother Angelica was a soul who connected with those who were on the margins, downtrodden, beaten by life. In general, people who were broken, wounded, hurt and lost. Sound familiar? The spiritual guidance contained in those three books can greatly help you get through anything. “

In addition to the books mentioned above, there is also seven anthologies of her “mini-books” written in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament in the 1970s. They can be found here: Spiritual Wisdom of Mother Angelica. There is also: Mother Angelica’s Answers, Not Promises.” (NOTE: I am only recommending them, I do NOT get anything from EWTN for promoting them.)  Like I said in the previous paragraph, “The spiritual guidance contained in all of her books can greatly help you get through anything.” And I mean that. There is a depth of wisdom and compassion and understanding that is astonishing. Mother Angelica got people. She knew about us, those on the outside. And she spoke to us there her own programs and in those hosted on her radio and TV channels.

I miss her.

 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A word on Suffering and Providence

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The year 2019 is three weeks old. It has not been a good year for me so far. I will not go into details apart from sufferings from bad weather and extended power outages, some trouble with family members that required the attention of police, and transportation issues. May as well toss in some health concerns while I’m at it.

My typical reaction has been a common and understandable one: “This year sucks already and I can’t wait for 2020.” Not a great way to begin a year, wishing it was already over.

However, through it all God’s Providence has shown itself. The Lord has carried us through all the “stuff” so far, and done so marvelously. In one issue He had helped us in a way I wouldn’t have bothered to script, thinking “It doesn’t happen that way.” (For a variety of reasons I won’t describe the issue.)

This all had me thinking. Especially as every time I think “This year sucks…” I get a feeling that I am being ungrateful. And so I thought about that.

Therefore I have tried to start thinking rather than regard 2019 as a Year of Hell and I Wish It Would Just End Already; I am instead going to start thinking that it might be a year in which God works His Divine Providence in my life (and perhaps my wife’s life and a few others’) in an awesome manner.

Perhaps that’s just “wishful thinking” to help me cope with a sucky year. 😉 But then again, we are supposed to have Faith. We are supposed to Trust in Jesus; have faith and confidence that He will show His Mercy and Love (and Justice) and will take care of our needs.

So that’s it: from now on I will just accept suffering as a way for God to show His Providence in my life. This is not new or original. It is a basic concept from the Gospel and Catholicism. All Christians are supposed to “take up our cross and follow Him.” Some people do this and grip their cross firmly, almost as if they were crucified to it. Others grip it but just hold onto it and cope. And still others drag it along resentfully behind them. (This is actually an image described by a saint in his or her writings; I’m wracking my brain but I can’t think of who it is. Perhaps the “Imitation of Christ?” “Divine Intimacy?” If I discover the source I’ll update the post. If any reader recognizes it, email me or post the info in a comment.)

UPDATE: Turns out it was neither the “Imitation of Christ” or “Divine Intimacy.” Rather, it was in St. Faustina Kowalska’s diary, “Divine Mercy in My Soul.” I rediscovered it during a recent rereading of that text. (Buy it if you don’t already have it. Don’t just read it; study it.)

Found in paragraph 446, it goes (words in bold are Jesus’):

“Then I saw the Lord Jesus nailed to the cross. When He had hung on it for a while, I saw a multitude of souls crucified like Him. Then I saw a second multitude of souls, and a third. The second multitude were not nailed to [their] crosses, but were holding them firmly in their hands. The third were neither nailed to [their] crosses nor holding them firmly in their hands, but were dragging [their] crosses behind them and were discontent. Jesus then said to me, Do you see these souls? Those who are like Me in the pain and contempt they suffer will be like Me also in glory. And those who resemble Me less in pain and contempt will also bear less resemblance to Me in glory.

Among the crucified souls, the most numerous were those of the clergy. I also saw some crucified souls whom I knew, and this gave me great joy. Then Jesus said to me, In your meditation tomorrow, you shall think about what you have seen today. And immediately Jesus disappeared on me.”

I wrote twice before on this: Just Enough and Crucible of Faith

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