Cleanse me that I may be pure

Posted on October 27, 2009 by paulcoholic

In the 9th verse of Psalm 51 the penitent asks for a total cleansing:

Psalm 51:9: “Cleanse me with hyssop, that I may be pure; wash me, make me whiter than snow.”

The penitent asks for a restoration of their purity. In a way, a “recovery” of what they were before their sin disfigured their soul.

This is what we should be seeking when we are involved in our recovery from addiction. Alcoholism and addiction seriously distorts our true selves, it disrupts the “normal” path of life that we should have been on. Recovery seeks to restore what was lost. (This is for most people. For some, like me, recovery has been more than just “recovering” a normal life, it has been part of a call to spread the Gospel, although in not very traditional methods.)

We are children of God and as such our lives and souls should be a reflection of that. Although it is extremely hard to accomplish that in today’s world, purity can be achievable by heroic efforts. With God’s help, it can be done.

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My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Teach me wisdom

Posted on October 27, 2009 by paulcoholic

In 12 Step groups you hear the acronym “HOW”, which stands for “Honesty, Open-mindedness and Willingness”. The 8th verse of Psalm 51 covers this:

Psalm 51:8: “Still, you insist on sincerity of heart; in my inmost being teach me wisdom.”

(Via USCCB.)

Sincerity clears away the self-deception and lies that pervade our thinking. In our alcoholic and addictive fog we do not always have a clear-headed view of ourselves and others. We are still very much broken and wounded people, perhaps healing slowly or quickly, but our addiction still affects us.

The psalmist recognizes that God “insists on sincerity of heart”, meaning (to me) sincerity of belief, without “human” thinking to mess it up; raw, pure conviction. This opens the doorway for God’s wisdom to be taught to the petitioner, in their “inmost being”. Directly into their heart, mind and soul.

God’s truth illuminates your soul. You gain wisdom, the best thing one can ask of God.

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

I was born guilty

Posted on October 25, 2009 by paulcoholic

The Notes in the NAB version of this Bible state that this verse…:

Psalm 51:7: “True, I was born guilty, a sinner, even as my mother conceived me.”

(Via USCCB.)

…means that in no time was the penitent without sin. This, I think, refers to the Original Sin of Adam and Eve. A sin that we inherited as their descendants, from when they turned away from God at the temptation by Satan under the pretext that they can “be like God” and discern good from evil under the guidance of their own conscience.

What guides and form your conscience? Is it God, through the ministry and teachings of the Catholic Church? Or do you “keep your own conscience” and decide “for yourself” what is moral and right, perhaps depending upon the circumstances? This pretext is a false one, as everyone’s conscience is formed by something. Some people are just honest and humble and readily admit as to what guides their conscience. Others are delusional and feel (rather that think) that they are in control of their moral decision-making.

So, who or what does your thinking for you?

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

I have done such evil in your sight

Posted on October 24, 2009 by paulcoholic

Psalm 51:6: “Against you alone have I sinned; I have done such evil in your sight. That you are just in your sentence, blameless when you condemn.”

(Via USCCB.)

So begins verse 6 of the Miserere.

Sin harms and ruptures one’s relationship with God. If it is a mortal sin, it kills it. The sin may involve others, but the thing to remember is the importance of repairing the relationship with God. The penitent’s admission of guilt and recognition of it before God initiates the process of repair. In reconciliation, you recognize God’s perfect justice.

If one’s conscience is well formed and you engage in contemplative introspection, you see the root causes of your sinning. As such, you know yourself better. You see why you sin and work towards amending your life. As God brings good out of evil, this knowledge strengthens you and your spiritual progress.

How is your relationship with God? Does it need amends?

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

I know my offense

Posted on October 24, 2009 by paulcoholic

If in verse 4 of Psalm 51 the penitent recognizes their responsibility, verse 5 is an outright declaration of it:

Psalm 51:5: “For I know my offense; my sin is always before me.”

(Via USCCB.)

The penitent fully admits and recognizes their sin. The penitent does not and cannot hide from it. No excuses, a straightforward and humble admission that the sin is theirs. Not only that it is theirs, but its commission is troubling to the conscience, “Is always before me.” And until there is reconciliation with God by asking forgiveness, the sin will be a hindrance to further progress in spiritual growth and holiness. No getting closer to God with this on the conscience.

How great is our desire for holiness. That is,how great is our desire to live as God wants us to live? How ready and willing are we to remove the obstacles that are in our path of getting closer to He who created us?

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Cleanse me

Posted on October 24, 2009 by paulcoholic

The fourth verse of Psalm 51 continues from verse 3 the penitent’s petition for a clean slate:

Psalm 51:4: “Wash away all my guilt; from my sin cleanse me.”

(Via USCCB.)

It is a recognition on the part of the penitent that the sinful offense has dirtied and sullied the soul. We are made in the image and likeness of God, our soul is a reflection of that image. Only God can forgive sins and therefore only He can wash our souls clean of our offense.

The penitent clearly states their sole responsibility in the sin. Even though someone else may have been involved, the sinner says “my guilt”, “my sin”. No blame is placed upon another. The sinner bears responsibility for their wrongdoing. We alcoholics and addicts are known for shirking responsibility. It is “people, places and things”, or our weakness, our disease, or some other such matter. Although there are mitigating circumstances that can lead us into our addictive behavior, in the end we committed the sin. At what point do we stop making excuses and just say that, “Yeah, these factors came in to play in my demise. But I could have said ‘no.’ I could have reached out for help that is their, even if it is a plaintive prayer into the darkness.”

We bear responsibility for recognizing our true nature as sons and daughters of God, and in seeing that since our souls were made to reflect His goodness, we must strive to keep them clean and on the path to holiness. We allow our consciences to be formed and guided by the Gospel.

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Have mercy on me

Posted on October 24, 2009 by paulcoholic

The first verse of Psalm 51, after the introduction, is a plaintive cry for mercy:

Psalm 51:3: “Have mercy on me, God, in your goodness; in your abundant compassion blot out my offense.”

(Via USCCB.)

The repentant sinner in uttering this cry asking for nothing less than a clean slate. The penitent knows that mercy springs forth from God’s inherent and eternal goodness. Furthermore, God’s compassion for the sinner puts and end to the offense, it is as if it never happened.

God is incapable, as a human understands it, of harboring resentment. The seemingly never-ending rehashing of a grudge or psychological wound is an imperfection of our human nature.

Verse 3 of this Psalm is therefore a confident understanding by the penitent that God will blot out the offense, and start over with the sinner.

As alcoholics and addicts, we have plenty to “blot out”. But also much to learn about compassion. Are we as ready to blot out the offenses of others against us? And how long are we capable of taking to do this? And does reconciliation always result?

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Psalm 51 Meditations

Posted on October 24, 2009 by paulcoholic

One of my favorite Psalms is the 51st, “The Miserere”. The first 2 verses explain it:

Psalm 51:1-2: “For the leader. A psalm of David,

when Nathan the prophet came to him after his affair with Bathsheba.”

(Via USCCB)

Nathan the Prophet confronted King David with his adultery, and the Psalm is David’s repentence.

I have written up some notes that form the basis of some meditations on each verse of the Psalm. I think it is appropriate it since the Church’s liturgical year is winding down. As Advent approaches, the Church will start to remind us of the coming of Christ, and the need to repent.

(These meditations also serve as a revival of something I started in 2007, called the “The Wisdom Dose”, a series of originally daily, then occasional, then discontinued, meditations on the Wisdom Books of the Bible, including the Psalms. I will do these again, on an irregular basis.)

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Triumph and Sorrow

Posted on September 19, 2009 by paulcoholic

Earlier this week (September 14th and 15th) the Church celebrated two feasts which I had written about before in these two posts: Triumph of the Cross and Our Lady of Sorrows.

I think it is intentional that these 2 feasts are linked by being placed a day apart.

The triumph of Jesus on the Cross was His death. Death is usually a defeat but His liberated us from the prison that was ours. He opened the gates of Heaven for us. Heaven is now attainable, whereas previously it was prohibited to us by the Original Sin of Adam. ( Genesis 3) The Sorrows of Mary were many but in tying these dates together, the Church is perhaps emphasizing Jesus’ suffering, death and burial and how they must have ripped apart the heart of Mary as she witnessed them.

Both Jesus and Mary are marked in their obedience to God the Father’s will. Jesus accepted that His role and mission was to suffer and die for our sins. Mary accepted hers as being the bearer of the Messiah, the Savior of Humanity. Her willing submission to God’s will linked her life to that of Jesus.

So it can be said of us. If we accept that our duty as Christians is to submit ourselves to God’s will in our lives, looking to the Church for guidance, then we open ourselves to the sufferings and sorrows about us. In accepting God’s will for us, it is necessary for us to “die to ourselves” so that the inspirations and beckoning of the Holy Spirit can be felt. We decrease, so it can increase. In so dying, we are reborn into the person God intended for us to be and therefore are able to fulfill His plan for our lives. The sufferings and sorrows we feel are our compassion for others.

As addicts and alcoholics, we are especially attuned to this. Our old selves died when we gave up drinking and using. Our truer selves were resurrected from the Cross we nailed our addictions to. And in our new lives we see others about us differently. We see others and broken and wounded souls, as we are also. Our hearts are pierced by the swords of their pain and suffering. ( Luke 2: 34-35)

As Jesus on the Cross gave Mary to each of us to be our Mother, we, in our recovery, are given to others to nurture and sustain them. (John 19: 25-27)

(All Scriptural links courtesy USCCB.)

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Faith without works is dead

Posted on September 13, 2009 by paulcoholic

The Second Reading for the Mass for the 24th Sunday in Ordinary Time is a statement that faith in Jesus is no good if works do not spring from it:

James 2:14-18: “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone says he has faith but does not have works?
Can that faith save him?
If a brother or sister has nothing to wear
and has no food for the day,
and one of you says to them,
‘Go in peace, keep warm, and eat well, ’
but you do not give them the necessities of the body,
what good is it?
So also faith of itself,
if it does not have works, is dead.

Indeed someone might say,
‘You have faith and I have works.’
Demonstrate your faith to me without works,
and I will demonstrate my faith to you from my works.”

(Via USCCB.)

The idea is simple and obvious: If you have faith in Christ, where is the evidence of it? To merely say that “Jesus is Lord” and other such declarations of faith is meaningless unless there is proof of it. What distinguishes believers of Christ from non-believers, then? What outward sign of your faith is visible to those who are non-believers,or even believers? I do not mean garments or things like crosses about the neck. I mean, how does your faith change the world about you? How does your faith make a difference? How does your faith preach the Gospel, by your actions?How do you respond to Jesus’ call in the Gospel to preach to all peoples, even if “all peoples” is just your family, friends and co-workers?

“Good works” do not get you saved. No one can earn their way into Heaven by doing good things. Heaven is so unreachable by mere human means that Jesus had to die on the Cross to gain it for us. It is our faith in Him and the seed planted in our souls by that faith which grows into a desire to do something about the world that makes our salvation possible. Our belief in Him coupled with our working out of the Gospel message is what we are judged by.

“So also faith of itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” James says in his letter. I have heard “Faith, without works, is dead” many times in AA meetings as it is a quote from AA writings.

The good works that spring from faith is the work of grace in our souls. God calls us by His free granting of grace, and we respond.

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

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Category Archives: Meditations

Cleanse me that I may be pure

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Teach me wisdom

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I was born guilty

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I have done such evil in your sight

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I know my offense

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Cleanse me

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Have mercy on me

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Psalm 51 Meditations

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Triumph and Sorrow

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Faith without works is dead

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