Category Archives: Meditations

Gratitude: Wanting what you have

Posted on by

One of my least favorite 12 Step meeting topics is “gratitude”. Not that I am ungrateful for anything in sobriety, for I have plenty to be grateful for. My main issue whenever this topic is brought up is that quite often the attendees just launch into a list of the things they are grateful for. Much of it is common to all even when the sharer does personalize it with special items. Nevertheless, such “gratitude” listings are boring (to me) and miss the point.

First, the idea that anyone needs to hear something about gratitude. Does this person feel a nostalgia for the days of drinking? Are they taking their sober life for granted and therefore need to be reminded of what can be lost if they do return? Do they not see very well the things around them that they have attained as a result of their sobriety? Do they just want to boast about their sobriety (“Oh, look at me, see how much I’VE got!”)

Someone at a 12-Step meeting with the topic of gratitude I attended long ago introduced something besides a list of what he was grateful for. He mentioned something along the lines of gratitude as being an attitude. He concluded with the notion that gratitude simply means that you want what you already have.

We alcoholics have an impatient streak. Even after a sustained period of sobriety we sometimes fall back into the “I want what I want and I want it now” attitude. We are impatient with what we already have and seek to attain or achieve something else that would make us better or happier. Just like back in the days of our drinking we needed “just one more”, what we have now is not enough and we seek something more to satisfy a hole in our soul.

“Wanting what you already have” is a great way of humbly accepting that which has come into your life and genuinely appreciating it. It is also an excellent way of living a moderate life and not a life driven to excess and conspicuous consumption. In other words, greed.

Sometimes the words “and thanking God for it” are added to the definition of gratitude. “Gratitude means wanting what you already have and thanking God for it.” A nice reminder as from where all good things come from, and to Whom we owe our sobriety to.

Luke 17:12-19: “As he was entering a village, ten lepers met (him). They stood at a distance from him

and raised their voice, saying, ‘Jesus, Master! Have pity on us!’

And when he saw them, he said, ‘Go show yourselves to the priests.’ As they were going they were cleansed.

And one of them, realizing he had been healed, returned, glorifying God in a loud voice;

and he fell at the feet of Jesus and thanked him. He was a Samaritan.

Jesus said in reply, ‘Ten were cleansed, were they not? Where are the other nine?

Has none but this foreigner returned to give thanks to God?’

Then he said to him, ‘Stand up and go; your faith has saved you.'”

(Via USCCB.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

To suffer with

Posted on by

According to the Oxford American Dictionary that is installed on my Mac, the word compassion means:

compassion |kəmˈpa sh ən| noun
sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others : the victims should be treated with compassion.

ORIGIN Middle English : via Old French from ecclesiastical Latin compassio(n-), from compati ‘suffer with.’

Take note of the origin of the word: “to suffer with”.

We suffer. We are all wounded and broken in some way. For you reading this blog and the others on the recovery and conversion blogrolls, you understand this. You wouldn’t be here unless you’ve been wounded and hurt in your past. Whether it is by others or most likely yourself (because of your addictions), you know suffering.

To me, it doesn’t matter whether the suffering is self-inflicted or bestowed upon you by others, suffering is suffering.

Suffering tends to isolate us. We think we are alone and this is reinforced by the resistance of others to be near us when we hurt. It sometimes feels as if we are like the lepers of old who had to wear signs identifying them as “unclean”, and thus to be avoided. Sometimes we push people away when we hurt as if contact with others will increase our pain. “Leave me alone” we shout, either with words or a “keep away, keep far away” attitude and demeanor.

We are Christians and as such we are taught by Jesus that we must accept suffering.

Matthew 16:24-25: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

(Via USCCB.)

This does not necessarily mean that we are just to deal with our own suffering. We must also bear one another’s burdens.

Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

(Via USCCB.)

Just as others are resistant to bear our burdens when we hurt, we are sometimes just as guilty when we see others hurting. We do not wish to be burned by whatever is afflicting them, or we are too distracted by our own concerns, or we selfishly prefer our own distractions and do not see and reach out when we can.

This takes us away from others and we become self-absorbed. We get carried away in our own interests and situations. We leave other people to their own suffering and we do not suffer with them. We lack compassion. We temporarily lack the ability to suffer with others. I say “temporarily” because if you possess a well-formed conscience you eventually notice this and wonder what is disturbing you. You discover that you have become too caught up in yourself and there is a world out there, or maybe just a small group of people that you work with or are related to who have been caught up in troubles of their own and have needed you. At least some small attention by you.

So you pick yourself up and resolve to do better. You try to sense what is going on in the lives of others and to tend to them. You hopefully consign your bout of self-absorption to the past (knowing it’ll return from time to time as we are sinners) and allow the experience to sensitize you to other people’s pain.

I chose that word carefully, sensitize. For in the cacophony of the World, we are oftentimes desensitized to other people’s sufferings. There’s just so much and we become numb to it all. And as we are addicts and alcoholics, we indulge ourselves in some distraction that fills us up. We may even rationalize the distraction as being something beneficial to us in the long run, calling it an “experience” or a mental health escape. This is all good, if it can be useful to others down the road.

As long as we remain focused on what is essential, that being:

Matthew 6:33: “…seek first the kingdom (of God)…“

(Via USCCB.)</p

This is New Year’s Day, 2009. We are all “supposed” to make resolutions for the year. In one of my other blogs I write about that: Resolution: One Day at a Time

(Via Trudging Paulcoholic’s Road.)

This may be one resolution that we might be capable of keeping the entire year, if we renew ourselves through prayer and meditation. That is: to try to stay attuned to the suffering that is about us, and to reach out and help in whatever manner we are able.

See you often throughout the year, both here and over at Catholics in Recovery .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Transcending hurts

Posted on by

There is a nice article in today’s Spirit Daily entitled: “RISE FROM WHAT MIRES YOU AND TRANSCEND HURTS OF THIS WORLD THROUGH HIS POWER”

(Via Spirit Daily.)

A good read on spiritual warfare and healing.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Restless Hearts

Posted on by

Today, August 28, is the Feast of St. Augustine. You can read all about him in this article from CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA: St. Augustine of Hippo .

Many times in 12 Step meetings or when listening to someone in recovery speak about their journey, they mention a “hole in the soul” that was filled by their addiction. Eventually they were no longer able to fill that hole with their addiction, at which point they hit bottom or otherwise reached their “jumping off place”, from which they slowly turned away from alcohol or drugs and towards a “higher power”. Hopefully that “higher power” is God and not some secular idol, but nevertheless they discover something better.

St. Augustine discovered something better after his life of debauchery and other various sins. A well-known quote of his is:

CHURCH FATHERS: Confessions, Book I (St. Augustine): “Thou movest us to delight in praising You; for You have formed us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in You.”

(Via New Advent.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

An effective prayer against the usual mental maladies that plague us

Posted on by

There is a prayer at the end of the Divine Mercy Chaplet that I say quite often when I am experiencing fear, anxiety, stress, resentment (and so on):

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your Mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is love and Mercy itself.

It is from paragraph 950 in the diary of St. Faustina, entitled Divine Mercy in My Soul (advance notice, music will play after site loads, so quiet your speakers if you’re in a public place).

It has been a very effective prayer when I experience doubts and any of the above named mental issues.

NOTE: The online Diary does not number the paragraphs, but you can click on the link for Notebook 2, page 2, and scroll towards the end. Or go to any Catholic bookstore or the online Divine Mercy shrine gift shop and purchase a copy (I get no commission, despite the plug. I just enjoy using my new blog editor, Mars Edit. It makes writing for blogs easy, especially for inserting links 🙂 Just wait until I figure out all the media uploading tools!)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Feast of the Transfiguration

Posted on by

Today marks the Feast of the Transfiguration of the Lord. I had written about it earlier, as a part of the meditation on the Fourth Luminous Mystery of the Rosary .

Today also marks the beginning of what you may call an “unofficial” Lent. Lent is a period of penance and mortification lasting 40 days, culminating in the Crucifixion of Jesus. The Transfiguration of Jesus occurred just prior to His departure for Jerusalem where it all took place.Why would today mark the beginning of an unofficial Lent? Because 40 days from now marks the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross. This is every year, so it must have been the Church’s intent to give us another focused opportunity for spiritual growth and development. Maybe you can make up for this year’s Lent if you didn’t meet whatever goals you set. Call it a “do-over”, or a “redo”.

I had planned on posting daily with meditations from the seasonal Lenten Mass readings. That isn’t going to happen. I missed them earlier this year due to the happy distractions of preparing for marriage and starting a new job. I may still post from those, but definitely not daily. I do not think that I can maintain a steady posting routine for 40 straight days, but like I’ve said before, daily posting is something I intend to do eventually. But it ain’t gonna happen now!

Have a happy Transfiguration feast. The rosary meditation for this event in Jesus’ life is on “spiritual courage”. Maybe that is why it marks another Lent.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 12

Posted on by

At long last we finally come to the final step in St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility, the 12th. It says that a person should always manifest humility in their actions as well as in their heart. In all one’s doings the person must be mindful of their sinful nature and imperfections and that at any moment they may appear before the judgment seat of God.

This step is just the accumulation of all the previous 11 Steps, much like the 12th Step of recovery movements exhort their members to practice the principles in all their affairs. St. Benedict writes in his Rule that after ascending these steps of humility one arrives at the perfect love of God which casts out fear.

1 John 4: 16-18;

We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us. God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him.
In this is love brought to perfection among us, that we have confidence on the day of judgment because as he is, so are we in this world.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love.

So, meditate on these 12 Steps of Humility, and make “spiritual progress” in applying them to your life.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 11

Posted on by

The 11th Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that one should speak gently and without laughter, seriously and with modesty; briefly and reasonably, without raising one’s voice.

I believe this Step is about showing fundamental respect for other people, with particular concern for their dignity as individuals and their state in life.

We do not exalt ourselves at the expense of other people. We do not tear others down and feel triumph over that. We always show them respect, knowing full well that we ourselves are not perfect, we are flawed individuals who make mistakes, sometimes serious ones, and that we need to be treated charitably when we stumble and fall.

This is humbling inasmuch as there are times when we all like to see the other person squirm under our self-righteous glare, or be destroyed by a volley of carefully chosen verbal weapons. But this is wrong from a Christian perspective.

This is humbling in another manner, whereas we may not be tearing the other person down in any conversation, we may still be pumping ourselves up through any excessive use of words and self-promotion. This is pride. If you examine the 11 Step’s lists of suggested behaviors, all are at the expense of one’s ego.

This Step may be hard. At times it is for me. But it does contain practical, daily suggestions for humble relationships.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 10

Posted on by

The 10th Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that one not be given to ready laughter.

This may seem rather unimportant unless you consider that a too quick reply to something with laughter may make you sound foolish or disrespectful. We’ve all done that and pretty much felt silly and idiotic afterwords, particularly when it was inappropriate.

I believe that this step is about discipline and self-control. If we have a well developed (or developing) spiritual life, then perhaps we are on the path towards greater peace within ourselves and a more stable relationship with the people, places and things around us. Therefore we are less given to inappropriate outbursts (of laughter or anger).

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 9

Posted on by

The Ninth Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that one should control their tongue and remain silent, not speaking unless asked a question.

This is one where we can sufficiently modify for our use as sober alcoholics, not living in a monastery and bound by a rule of silence. Or can we? (I have to be careful here as my lovely, cute and very intelligent wife loves to talk, monastic silence or anything close to it would drive her absolutely bug nuts.)

How much of what we say is actually useful or just filler for the dead spaces in the air about us? Are we that uncomfortable “just being” so that by talking we distract ourselves and others from something else?

Talking too much runs the risk of sinning, for by much verbiage we may tend towards gossip or bearing false witness.

God gave us two ears and one mouth, so perhaps we should listen twice as much as we talk. By doing so we tune into others around us and thus learn and grow closer to them. Listen to others, as opposed to hearing ourselves. We can listen to ourselves during our interior prayer life, when we talk only to God.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)