Category Archives: Musings

Transitus

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Today is October 3rd and that is the vigil of the Feast Day of St. Francis of Assisi. For Franciscans worldwide, tonight is the “Transitus,”or the ritual observance of his death.

I won’t go into details as to what transpires during the ritual, as I am not a Franciscan and thus have never participated. However, I will blog briefly on the event as it is significant for this blog in some ways.

I read up on the Transitus and various Franciscan sites and blogs variously describe the ritual observance as important as it connects Franciscans with each other – those living today and those who have gone before. That this great community is united by the observance of the death of their Order’s Founder is a wonderful lesson. It is something that can be incorporated in our lives.

“Memento Mori.” “Be mindful of your death.” In memorializing the anniversaries of when our loved ones died, we remember them as they were if their death was lingering due to age or infirmity; but we can also remember them as they had been when still vital and younger. If they died suddenly, it can be a way to “manipulate time,” they were suddenly taken from us but in or memorial observance we can “be there” in some spiritual fashion. If they died too young, well, perhaps it can be a manner in which they are brought forward in life along with us.

Our beloved dead are not forgotten, they are still with us, although in a ritualistic spiritual way. Their death is no longer some event isolated in thr past that might fade a somewhat in memory over the years. Oh, we still remember when Mom or Uncle Jimmy died, but over the years the date slowly becomes just another day in November or July.

Ritual is important. It helps organize life and mark time. “Ritual” is also the hidden word in spiRITUALity, something lost, I think, in those who eschew religion in favor of only spirituality.

As I write this, the feeling is growing within me to actually think about doing this somehow for some of my beloved dead. One way is on the Anniversary of a death is to say the “Office of the Dead” from the Church’s Liturgy of the Hours. Here is an online source: Office of the Dead.

Why is this important for Sober Catholic readers? Death is hard on everyone, but I think there may be a special hurt for people in recovery (regardless of how long clean and sober.) You were somewhat absent from their life while they were alive, because of your drinking and using. And now they’re really gone. Really hard if you owe them an amends. Doing a “transitus” for someone might help you cope with the loss, as well as “make amends.”

Perhaps I’ll think of some thing to do in addition to the Office of the Dead. Making a cemetery visit is good, if possible. Maybe readers this can offer suggestions in the comments.

NOTE: (Reblogged in slightly edited form from The Four Last Things)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

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Abiding in Jesus

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The Gospel for the Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time:

John 6:51-58: “I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh.” The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me. This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live for ever.”

I won’t go into a long apologetics regarding John 6 as there are better defenders of the Faith than I, except to say that it is one of the Scripture passages from which the Catholic Church teaches that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist; His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity are there, really, not symbolically. If He was speaking symbolically, then He would have chased after all those Jews and disciples of His that found the teaching “hard,” and left Him. Jesus easily could have said that He wasn’t speaking literally, that they were misunderstanding Him and should stay. But no, He knew they had difficulty with His teachings, and that they understood it perfectly but rejected Him anyway. He respected their decision and let them go. And so He truly meant that “…the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh.”

So, when you go to Mass or Eucharistic Adoration, Jesus is there. The same Jesus that as the Second Person of the Trinity incarnated Himself as a man, wandered about Palestine preaching and teaching and healing, the same one Who died on the Cross for us all, is there on the altar in the form of bread. The same Transcendent, Immanent, Eternal God who became a man of flesh, blood and bone, has remained with us these past 2,000 years in the form of bread (and wine.)

Now, in light of that, go read the words of today’s Gospel reading again. Oh, go ahead and read the whole chapter 6 of John’s Gospel!

Try and understand that; try meditating on the Reality of His Presence in the bread and wine consecrated at Mass. He will abide in you, and you in Him.

Gives you courage, eh?

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Not a destructive drug

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The First Reading from today’s Mass on the Thirteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time is a rather interesting one from a sober Catholic perspective:

Wisdom 1:13-15; 2:23-24…

(italics mine)

“God did not make death,
nor does he rejoice in the destruction of the living.
For he fashioned all things that they might have being;
and the creatures of the world are wholesome,
and there is not a destructive drug among them
nor any domain of the netherworld on earth,
for justice is undying.
For God formed man to be imperishable;
the image of his own nature he made him.
But by the envy of the devil, death entered the world,
and they who belong to his company experience it.”

Courtesy: USCCB

God does not desire for us to perish. But perish we do, as a consequence of our actions. But it wasn’t supposed to be that way.

The things of the earth were not supposed to be destructive in nature, God created everything and called it “good.” (Genesis, Chapter 1). Life wasn’t drudgery and full of pain; that didn’t set in until our Rebellion (Genesis, Chapter 3). That Rebellion, when our First Parents were duped by Satan in to thinking that they can be “like gods” and decide for themselves what is “good” and “evil” is when “death entered the world.”

Literal death, but also other “deaths,” anything that devalued and destroyed life. Disease, addictions, pain, suffering…

Despite the beliefs of certain Protestant Fundamentalists, there’s nothing wrong with drinking alcohol. Abusing it, yes. But merely consuming it, no – if done in moderation. Many things done in moderation become sinful when abused. That is inherent in sin, which is the abuse and misuse of the good things God gave us: our minds, bodies and stuff about us. Just like what our First Parents did, and their Original Sin is replicated quite often today when people disregard God’s Laws and make their own…

You don’t have to suffer from addiction… you can be free of it…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

There is one thing I ask of the Lord

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I often focus on the path we are on to get where we’re going. “Trudging the road of Happy Destiny,” it says in the “Big Book” of AA. I don’t discuss the actual destination that much, although I do have a sister blog to Sober Catholic, totally dedicated to the afterlife: The Four Last Things – Death. Judgment. Heaven. Hell.

In today’s Evening Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours, there is a passage which reflects the sweet desire for the Lord’s house:

Psalm 27: 4

“There is one thing I ask of the Lord, for this I long, to live in the house of the Lord, all the days of my life, to savor the sweetness of the Lord, to behold his temple.”

via DivineOffice.org.

It is a nice image, and one that can help us maintain our focus during Lent.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Death! Where is your sting?

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NOTE: this post is a version slightly edited from The Four Last Things. “O death! You separate those who are joined to each other in marriage. You harshly and cruelly divide those whom friendship unites. But your power is broken. Your heinous yoke has been destroyed by the One who sternly threatened you when Hosea cried out: O Death! I shall be your death. And with the words of the apostle we, too, deride you: O death! Where is your victory? O death! Where is your sting!

Your conqueror redeemed us. He handed himself over to wicked men so that he could transform the wicked into persons who were truly dear to him.” – St. Braulio, Bishop.

The above is from the Office of Readings in the Office of the Dead from the Liturgy of the Hours. I said that this morning instead of the usual Divine Office as today is the ninth anniversary of my Mom’s death.

I still haven’t gotten completely over it. Who really does “get over” death? Perhaps some unfortunates.

I posted the above quote from St. Braulio to give comfort and to remind you that there is hope in the Resurrection. I also post it to remind those that harbor resentments that the clock is ticking. Once people are gone, they’re gone. Amends can no longer be made.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Gratitude: Wanting what you have

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In the rooms of AA, I’ve learned that gratitude means “wanting what you have.” At first I had thought this was silly and trite. Of course, I “want what I have!” But upon further thinking it became obvious the trite phrase has a deeper meaning.

In our alcoholism, one drink was never enough. The idea of just having one rarely enjoyed consideration. If one is good, then ten is awesome! Only ten?

And so we eventually found out the detrimental side effects of this attitude. If you’re an alcoholic, you know what those are.

But if you’re in recovery, even for a long while, a type of addictive thinking can still affect you. You may be dissatisfied with your material possessions. What you have isn’t enough. A better car, bigger residence, nicer computer, a smartphone with more bells and whistles, whatever, what you own that actually serves your needs somehow is no longer satisfying.

I think this is still a residual addiction. Although you no longer drink, the addictive side of your personality still craves something more. Not satisfied, it comes up with justifications for wanting more.

Many times in meetings you hear the phrase, “Stick with the winners.” It is good advice for newcomers; they are told to seek out those in sobriety who “have what they want,” namely a good, sustained quality of sobriety. Unfortunately, some use the trappings of materialism to determine that good sobriety. The idea is that after you’ve been sober for a while, you begin to recover many things that were lost, including material wealth. If you never had it, then you’ll get it. It is even inferred in the so-called “Twelve Promises,” found on Page 83 of AA’s “Big Book.” (See the online version at Alcoholics Anonymous. It is available as a PDF.)

Somewhere I’ve heard that to determine who’s a “winner,” you check out the vehicles people drive away from meetings in. The better, the more “successful.” There are other ways of determining material success, of course.

To me, the only real manner in which a person should be judges on their sobriety, how much of a “winner” they are, is how long have they been sober? Do they take life in stride? Have they been the target of a lot of “stuff” that life throws at them? Do they bear their Crosses well?

Although I’ve typically loathed discussions on ‘”gratitude” during meetings, I have now come to realize that gratitude is an essential tool in recovery, for it helps to retard or curtail “addictive thinking” elsewhere, and especially the draw of materialism. In my previous post, Be transformed!, I quoted Jesus’ saying “What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?”

Indeed!

It is not enough to just maintain sobriety, one also has to express gratitude for it, but also for everything else one has in life. If you are truly grateful for what you have, and your needs are consistently supplied, then you will have little desire for the “wants,” as they are rarely what you “need.”

Focusing on your “wants” is an addictive thought process: it means you are not satisfied with your needs, and you want more. Just as “one drink” was never enough, whatever you have in life now may not be enough, even though it adequately supplies your needs.

Think about it. Sometime ago, you got some “things.” They were fine and supplied your needs. Then they no longer did, or so it seemed, and so you got “more things.” After a while, it happened again; they no longer seemed sufficient and you went out and got “still more things.”

Really? Was all that necessary? What was different between the time you had just the “things” and then “more things,” and so on to “still more things?” What changed? Did they really not satisfy your needs, or was the accumulation just serving your “wants?” On Page 559 of AA’s “Big Book” there’s a line that says something like “our needs, which are always satisfied; and our wants, which never are.” I think that is the core. Our “wants” never are satisfied and so we desire “more.” Even though our needs were taken care of. That’s addictive thinking. One drink isn’t enough. Another is needed. And another. And so it is with material possessions. The car we drive isn’t good enough. (Yes it is, we just don’t want to see it. We see people in AA meetings drive better ones and we have to show our success in sobriety and get a newer one.) The computer we have isn’t powerful or fast enough. (Yes it is, we just feel self-conscious when we don’t have the latest Mac or Windows PC. That machine is from 2006???)

I am just putting this out there for consideration and discernment. Just an admonishment towards those who do see success in material terms. I do notice many people in recovery have a more relaxed attitude towards material possessions and are truly grateful for what they have. After all, there’s a reason why “gratitude” is a popular topic in meetings. We need to hear it, perhaps there’s an understanding of the danger in not being grateful for what we have. Especially since many have lost so much.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Today is my sobriety date!

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Today is my sobriety date! Twelve years ago today was my last drunk. I have frequently tried to figure out the hour at which I took my last drink, but this only serves to keep fresh the memory of the last day.

I had a brief bout with sobriety before, having stopped in early February 2002, only to relapse 3 1/2 months later. I remember having two conflicting feelings simultaneously in my head, that of a euphoria over not having had a drink since February, and that of impending doom over some situation that I won’t bother explaining.

And then with these feelings, I found myself in a liquor store, and I bought a pint of cheap vodka. This was, in a perverse way, an improvement as before I would typically buy the huge 1.75 liter jugs. Sometimes two, one for each hand to keep myself balanced as I wandered to my car.

After two weeks of drinking I stopped. I duly reported my relapse at my old Home Group on May 21st, which was hard not to as I had read “How It Works” with a slurred voice. The next day I walked out of the meeting as two people showed up and said it was their first AA meeting ever. I didn’t want to participate as I felt like a hypocrite, having relapsed. I went to a liquor store, bought a liter of vodka, and that was that.

So, for what it’s worth, May 22, 2002 was my last drunk. What followed was 88 hours of zero sleep whatsoever, and hallucinations peppering the whole period.

But I emerged through it and my drinking days were over.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Venerable Alfred Pampalon, a Patron of Alcoholics and Drug Addicts

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Last Sunday when my wife and I were in Eucharistic Adoration she found some literature about a Venerable I had never heard of, one Alfred Pampalon. The little novena pamphlet and informational brochure labelled him as a “Patron of Alcoholics and Drug Addicts.”

There was nothing whatsoever in the literature to indicate as to why he might be considered a patron of us alcoholics and addicts save for some anonymous testimonials regarding miraculous cure of addictions.

There is nothing wrong with this, you can pray for the intercession of anyone that you think might be in Heaven, and for any reason. But I like to think that if someone is going to be the patron saint of something, then their life on Earth should be connected to it in some manner. Therefore, in my opinion, the Venerable Matt Talbot is still our guy. Matt was an alcoholic, and lived a Catholic spirituality that foreshadowed the Twelve Steps decades before they were ever conceived. St. Maximilian Kolbe is often considered to be a patron of addicts, and I agree; although he was not an addict or an alcoholic, he was executed at Auschwitz by a lethal injection. (St. Maximilian is a patron of mine, I am a member of his “Militia of the Immaculata,” links for him and the MI are in a linkroll on the left sidebar. I have also blogged before on him, just visit “St. Maximilian Kolbe” in the Post Category drop down menu over on the right.)

By no means am I disregarding the Venerable Alfred Pampalon; we alcoholics and addicts can use every means at our disposal to help us keep clean and sober. If the anonymous testimonials are true, then he is indeed a powerful intercessor for us.

The following link is to a website that contains information similar to what I read in the pamphlets, including a Novena and an intercessory prayer (it will be added to links in the sidebar):

Venerable Alfred Pampalon.

By every indication, the Venerable Alfred Pampalon is a person worthy of further study and emulation. His life was saintly, pious and holy, and we can certainly use more examples like him. So, please visit the link above, as well as do a search of your own for more information.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Forgive and you will be forgiven

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This excerpt from the Gospel for today’s Mass is Luke 6:37 “…Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

via USCCB.

Forgiveness is a recurring theme recently on this blog. It is one of the more difficult things that I find to write about.

Elsewhere (not on this blog) I wrote: “This is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. Saying the “Lord’s Prayer” and really thinking about the part near the end (“forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others…”) helps.

I had always thought that in not forgiving, that in maintaining the hold that the wrong had on me, is like a victory. That in forgiving them I would be like letting them “get away with it,” and they would “win.” Now I realize that in not forgiving them, I keep giving them power over me, I am enabling them to continue winning, with no effort on their own. Without even realizing it, they were still hurting me, even long after their initial hurt.

In forgiving them, I am releasing their power over me, and in effect, defeating them.

This may enable me to love them, again. Someday. Maybe.”

A big “maybe.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Go as the Lord directs you

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An excerpt from the First Reading of today’s Mass for the Second Sunday of Lent is from Genesis 12:4:

“Abram went as the LORD directed him”

via USCCB.

Abram, later renamed Abraham, goes forth with the promise that he will be made the father of great nations with innumerable descendants.

While that may be appealing for some, we alcoholics have to shoot for a more humble and modest goal: that of not drinking and staying sober. If we follow the direction of God’s will that we can discern from our prayer life, scripture meditations and talks with spouse, family and friends (and perhaps 12 Step Meetings), we can be assured of achieving this goal. There may be slip ups along the way, but we can get back up with the help of God’s graces and resume or course along the road of happy destiny.

So, pray on it and “Go as the Lord directs you.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)