Category Archives: Relapse

Bruised reeds and smoldering wicks

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The First Reading from the Mass for Monday of Holy Week is one of my favorites:

Isaiah 42:3: “A bruised reed he shall not break, and a smoldering wick he shall not quench…”

Via USCCB.)

It reminds me of us alcoholics and addicts in our times of suffering and eventual recovery.

I had written about this passage before: Bruised reeds…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Suppressed consciences

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This excerpt from the First Reading for Mass for the Monday of the Fifth Week of Lent serves an interesting insight into the inner workings of the mind on its way to committing sin (and an addictive relapse):

Daniel 13:6-14: “…These men, to whom all brought their cases, frequented the house of Joakim.

When the people left at noon, Susanna used to enter her husband’s garden for a walk.

When the old men saw her enter every day for her walk, they began to lust for her.

They suppressed their consciences; they would not allow their eyes to look to heaven, and did not keep in mind just judgments.

Though both were enamored of her, they did not tell each other their trouble,

for they were ashamed to reveal their lustful desire to have her.

Day by day they watched eagerly for her.

One day they said to each other, ‘Let us be off for home, it is time for lunch.’ So they went out and parted;

but both turned back, and when they met again, they asked each other the reason. They admitted their lust, and then they agreed to look for an occasion when they could meet her alone.”

Via USCCB.)

Take out “Susanna” and substitute any of the “people, places and things” that serve as triggers for relapse and we see a mirror of the mental processes that lead to a relapse.

The image of the object of desire, be it a lustful target or just an old drinking establishment, somehow causes the conscience to be supressed. Anyone who has relapsed, or came close to it, understands. Your “right-thinking” is turned off, God is distant and “just judgments” are far from your thoughts.

The object takes over and mindlessly the addict succumbs and falls prey to it.

I heard it explained in an AA meeting that meeting attendance interrupts this thought process and halts the trend towards relapse. This is fine for those who still actively attending 12 Step meetings. But for those who do not, there is prayer, Mass and the sacraments. The grace of God present in these can be enough to save the addict from falling.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

O Lord, my God, in you I take refuge

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The Responsorial Psalm for Saturday of the Fourth Week of Lent offers consolation to those suffering from the acts of others:

Psalm 7:2-3,9-12:
“O LORD, my God, in you I take refuge;
save me from all my pursuers and rescue me,
Lest I become like the lion’s prey,
to be torn to pieces, with no one to rescue me.

Do me justice, O LORD, because I am just,
and because of the innocence that is mine.
Let the malice of the wicked come to an end,
but sustain the just,
O searcher of heart and soul, O just God.

A shield before me is God,
who saves the upright of heart;
A just judge is God,
a God who punishes day by day.”

(Via USCCB.)

People who follow their own wills and not God’s often wreak havoc upon other people’s lives. If you are trying to lead a good, clean and sober life there will be obstacles. Other people will see your decision to live a life contrary to how they see it should be lived (because it is a threat to them), and will try and derail your path.

You will be an object of scorn and ridicule as they try to drag you back into your old ways.

The Lord, if you trust in Him, will be your safe refuge and will protect you by strengthening your faith. The reassurance you get from a deep prayer life, from reading Sacred Scripture and attending Mass will be the armor you need to cope with the world and its ways.

The world and its followers won’t go away, but you’ll have a defense. And a protector.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The image of a grass-eating bull

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The Responsorial Psalm for Thursday of the Fourth Week of Lent has nice imagery which can be symbolic of someone in relapse.

Psalm 106:19–23: “At Horeb they fashioned a calf, worshiped a metal statue.

They exchanged their glorious God for the image of a grass-eating bull.

They forgot the God who saved them, who did great deeds in Egypt,

Amazing deeds in the land of Ham, fearsome deeds at the Red Sea.

He would have decreed their destruction, had not Moses, the chosen leader, Withstood him in the breach to turn back his destroying anger.”

(Via USCCB.)

The imagery describes the great chasm between those worshipping the One True God versus those who fashion a god for themselves. You have the freedom and liberty that sobriety gives you, and yet because of certain difficulties (“freedom isn’t free”) you turn away from it and slop at the trough of alcohol.

Which “fills your soul” better? The God that created you, or a “god” (the delusions and fantasies of alcohol)
of your own making?

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The stone that the builders rejected

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The Gospel Reading for Mass for Friday of the Second Week of Lent is an interesting one if it is applied to alcohol recovery through Catholicism.

Matthew 21:33-43,45-46: “Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people:
‘Hear another parable.
There was a landowner who planted a vineyard,
put a hedge around it,
dug a wine press in it, and built a tower.
Then he leased it to tenants and went on a journey.
When vintage time drew near,
he sent his servants to the tenants to obtain his produce.
But the tenants seized the servants and one they beat,
another they killed, and a third they stoned.
Again he sent other servants, more numerous than the first ones,
but they treated them in the same way.
Finally, he sent his son to them,
thinking, ‘They will respect my son.’
But when the tenants saw the son, they said to one another,
‘This is the heir.
Come, let us kill him and acquire his inheritance.’
They seized him, threw him out of the vineyard, and killed him.
What will the owner of the vineyard do to those tenants when he comes?’
They answered him,
He will put those wretched men to a wretched death
and lease his vineyard to other tenants
who will give him the produce at the proper times.’
Jesus said to them, Did you never read in the Scriptures:

The stone that the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone;
by the Lord has this been done,
and it is wonderful in our eyes?

Therefore, I say to you,
the Kingdom of God will be taken away from you
and given to a people that will produce its fruit.’
When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables,
they knew that he was speaking about them.
And although they were attempting to arrest him,
they feared the crowds, for they regarded him as a prophet.”

(Via USCCB.)

Using metaphor, the vineyard can be likened to your life; the servants sent by the landowner can be grouped together and assigned the collective role of you, as the practicing alcoholic. The tenants who keep beating and killing the servants might be the symbols for alcoholism, as it sits in wait and repeatedly tries to kill you as you try to live a life.

The son of the landowner, who is finally sent to reclaim the vineyard, can also be you, still the alcoholic. But what makes the metaphor for “this” you different from the one for the servants who were waylaid and killed by the tenants?

The Scriptural passage indicates that the son was Jesus, and the Pharisees knew that the parable was about them. The servants were the prophets who were killed over the centuries by Israelite leaders, the precursors to the Pharisees who were symbolized by the tenants in the parable. The vineyard is the inheritance of being God’s “chosen”.

And so the son, who intends to vanquish the tenants and reclaim the vineyard, can be the metaphor for you, the person now in recovery. You, with the help of a “Higher Power” (all right, God the Holy Spirit and Jesus, the Son, working their mysterious ways) are working to defeat the addiction and live a newly sober life.

Will the tenants be successful? Will they drag you away and kill you like they did the son in the parable? Or will you persevere and survive?

Even if you fall, you can still take a cue from the parable. Jesus rose from the dead. He was the “cornerstone the builders rejected”; the Messiah the Jews didn’t believe in. You can take your failure and build on it. Call it “experience”, learn what didn’t work and take on the tenants again. (They will always be around.)

Alone, you cannot defeat alcoholism. Rare is the person who does. With Jesus you can accomplish anything. He is the Divine Physician, ready and able to help.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to St. Joseph for Alcoholics: Day 3

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On this third day of the novena, we pray:

St. Joseph: “III. O glorious Saint Joseph, thou who didst faithfully obey the law of God, thy heart was pierced at the sight of the Most Precious Blood that was shed by the Infant Saviour during His Circumcision, but the Name of Jesus gave thee new life and filled thee with quiet joy.

By this thy sorrow and this thy joy, obtain for us the grace to be freed from all sin during life, and to die rejoicing, with the holy Name of Jesus in our hearts and on our lips.

Now recite the Our Father…, followed by the Hail Mary…, and then the Glory be….”

(Via Inter Mirifica.)

We pray today for all those that are suffering physical and bodily pain as a result of their alcoholism. Whether it be failing health due to alcohol abuse, or the physical symptoms of alcohol withdrawal, the pain seems never ending. Sometimes the temptation to take a drink to end the pain is great.

For all these who are suffering, we pray for their health and strength to endure. We ask this through Christ, Our Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Releasing yourself from the things that harm

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There is an interesting article on clinging to people, places and things that afflict you, and why and how to release and distance yourself from them.

(Via Spirit Daily.)

Give it a read!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 8

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Recovery from addictions is quite often referred to as a “path” or “road”. In AA literature there is the often used phrase: “trudging the road of happy destiny.” Many times people fall away or drift off that road. This is a relapse.

People relapse for many reasons. Some, like me, relapse early on in recovery. The “plan” or program of recovery hadn’t yet firmed up in the person and something too difficult happened and an old crutch was used to deal with the problem. Or some other mysterious reason had caused the person to return to the addiction, it isn’t always a problem too difficult too handle.

A guy I knew in my old AA home group had said that when in meetings during which a person discussed their relapse, he didn’t really pay too much attention as to why the relapse occurred if the individual had been sober for less than 5 years. Five years being a conservative time frame for “early recovery”. Over 5 years, and he focused on the story as he was very much interested in why a person with a proven history of sober living had strayed. Humility pretty much demands that anyone can relapse, no one is ever immune from the life-long allure of your “drug of choice.” No matter how long your sobriety, no matter what your “program of recovery” is, you are susceptible.

But there is always help. Yes, there are the people in your recovery meetings and such that you can call on. But there is also always your Blessed Mother, ready, willing and able to stand by and help her children whenever they are in distress. Just develop the faith needed to trust in her.

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Drinking is Never an Option

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I think it was nearly 5 years ago when I stumbled upon the notion of just ruling out the idea that drinking is an option. In the “One Day at a Time” concept of 12 Step Movements, you will just take the notion of not drinking, but just for today. “Today, I will not drink.” This is because the idea of never taking a drink for the rest of one’s life may be too much to handle. Therefore, take it in bite-size, one-day-at-a-time baby steps. Tomorrow is another story, another day.

While this is fine, and very successful, I found it questionable for my own personal abilities. You see, the “ODAAT” (“One Day at a Time” acronym) leaves open the possibility of drinking tomorrow. Advocates of ODAAT would respond by saying that you would merely resolve to do ODAAT again when tomorrow arrives. But for me, there would still be that narrow window of opportunity that would allow a drink to sneak in.

Therefore, I decided that drinking would never be an option. No matter how good, or how bad, drinking just wouldn’t be on the table as a response. In the past, I would drink when things got bad, but also when things were great. Drinking was a lubricant, either quelling the pain or heightening the joy. Drinking was always a response to something. It was an option.

What had happened to get me to the idea that drinking would never be an option, no matter what was a day in April 2004 in which I was laid off from a job due to insufficient work. As I was the last hired, I was the first to go. I was depressed, I had thought that I had finally “made it” in sobriety, that I had finally landed a job that would last and that I was putting in the final building blocks of my sobriety. The initial struggling period would be over and I would just “practice these principles in all my affairs” and just live. But being laid off shattered that notion.

I drove home, and it seemed as every liquor store in my part of the state was between work and home. I resisted the urge to go into any of them, thinking all the way “ODAAT”, and went instead straight to my old AA Home Group. I pondered stuff and I think that the topic was something about ODAAT. I decided that ODAAT wasn’t good enough for me, or rather, not suitable enough. There was always that danger that the desire to drink would wedge its way in and that I wouldn’t be strong enough the next day to do ODAAT.

So I decided to just remove drinking from the list of options. Not just for today, but forever. ODAAT preserves the notion that drinking is an option for tomorrow, and when tomorrow arrives, just push drinking off one more day through ODAAT.

My removing drinking as an option does not mean that I will resolve to never drink for the rest of my life, the scary notion that ODAAT evolved to ease. It just isn’t on the list of response mechanisms I have at my disposal. It isn’t something that I “do”, or have to ponder with never doing. I am not facing the prospect of viewing the rest of my life without drinking, it is more like the idea that murder or rape is simply not an option for how decent civilized people deal with others. Drinking isn’t there for me to choose. I do not bemoan the idea that I won’t murder or rape anyone in the future before I die, doing either of those things isn’t a part or my character. Drinking no longer is a part of my character.

I did not arrive at this idea easily. I spent the entire month of April 2004 beating this into my brain. I was helped by many AA meeting topics that kind of reinforced this. I guess the Holy Spirit was working on me.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Perseverance

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Perseverance will see you through. Too many people give up and cave in to despair or pressure and never see it through their pain and suffering.

Problems never seem to be solvable while you’re going through them, but when they’re done you’re stronger as a result.

There are wishes during the experiences for the gentle relief of alcohol, just to take the edge off. But you never seriously entertain the thought. Just a wistful longing and then dismissed. Sometime ago during weaker days you might have succumbed.

One reason why you hear it said that enduring suffering strengthens you. Like an athlete in training, you get stronger in dealing with life.

Too many people in today’s societies try to avoid suffering and trials and seek to avoid them. That is why most of us are alcoholics, we lacked the ability to effectively cope with them.

“This, too, shall pass.” And pass it does.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)