Category Archives: Relapse

The many ways of God's healing gifts

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The following is a link to an article on being open to the varied and diverse ways that God can heal you. Please read and consider how or if it can be relevant to your life.

Spirit Daily – Daily spiritual news from around the world: “GOD IS A GOD OF SURPRISE AND HAS SUCH IN STORE FOR YOU IF YOU HEAL INSIDE AND LOVE”

(Via Spirit Daily.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

God will never allow the righteous to stumble

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I believe that it was yesterday’s readings in the Liturgy of the Hours that I came across this line:

Psalm 55:23;

Cast your care upon the LORD, who will give you support. God will never allow the righteous to stumble.

One might think that this is overly comforting but a lot of nonsense as many of us since our drinking and drugging days have stumbled. Therefore how can this be true? Since we left our addictive living behind, haven’t we stumbled anyway? Therefore, what of this testimony from the Psalmist that God won’t allow us to stumble?

I am uncertain as to the finer theological points explaining this apparent flaw. Maybe there is a flaw in the translation. Another Catholic translation (The Jerusalem Bible) restates this as He will “not allow the virtuous to falter.”

Anyway, regardless of the word, there is an implied confidence that faith in God and in His support will never be for nothing. Perhaps then there is nothing incorrect in using the word “stumble” or “falter”, but in rather who is to blame when we actually do stumble.

Was it that our faith was weak? There had been several times early in my sobriety when I was going to Confession in an attempt to root out sinful behavior, and that behavior still occurred. Who was to blame? God? No, He gave us free will to choose His will or our own. His gift to us to use as our conscience guided us. These behaviors continued and I was going to give up. Praise God I never did, but was given the faith to endure and progress and perhaps quell those sinful behaviors.

And so I stumbled and faltered when my faith was weak. My fault. We too often blame God for our own wrongdoings. “Well,” we say, “I am a believer, I struggle to progress spiritually, why did I stumble? God wasn’t there for me.” Where in fact, it was us who wasn’t there for God. For whatever reason, our faith was lacking, we allowed distractions and other concerns to get in the way of permitting God’s help, we relied on our own means and faltered. We fail to realize that it is a cooperative effort, we place our faith in God, and He rescues us, but He also respects our free will when we drift off and leave His guiding hand behind.

You may stumble, but never fall. As you consciously or unconsciously turned away from His help, you can turn back. “God allows U-turns”, as a bumper sticker on my car says. If we fall, it is only because we failed to turn back to His arms reaching out to grab us.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Sober anniversary

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At about this time six years ago (May 22, 2002, not sure exactly the hour) I had my last drink.

It was vodka, cheap and seemingly necessary. I had relapsed a week or two before after only 3 1/2 months of sobriety, and had embarrassed myself at an AA meeting the day before. At most AA meetings someone reads a selection from the “How It Works” chapter of AA’s basic text “Alcoholic Anonymous”. I slurred my words and it was quite clear I was under the influence. That day’s topic was me and relapsing.

The next day I went back to that AA meeting and it was a newcomer’s meeting. I felt like a hypocrite telling 2 new people how the 12 Steps helped me so I walked out and stopped off at a liquor store before going home. I finished the bottle that night.

What followed were 88 hours of insomnia and hallucinations. I wrote about it last year in a post here . The changes in my life since that post have been astonishing. I met a lady, moved to be near her, married her and found a rewarding job.

I guess “hope” is the operative word here. There is hope if you stick it out.

No matter how good or how bad, drinking is never an option.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 8 of the Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Addiction

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Today for this novena we petition for Fear of the Lord.

As before, we start with the prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Fear is the misunderstood part of this gift. Fear is misunderstood to imply that God is a harsh, brutal unforgiving taskmaster that we should cower and cringe before in mortal terror.

Fear is perhaps better understood as meaning respect. We must respect the Lord our God who created us and sustains us throughout our lives and who decides when that life is over.

After receiving all of the other gifts of the Holy Spirit, we can understand that receiving fear of the Lord as not to be something, well, feared. A healthy, deep and loving respect for God is a natural result of the spiritual development and growth that devotion to the Holy Spirit brings.

Many alcoholics upon recovering reject organized religion as it is felt to be a sign of an unrelenting and unforgiving God. This is based on their past alcoholic relationship with the Church. The interesting thing is that in their recovery, at least according to the 12 Steps, they are to make amends to all they have hurt, to “clean up their side of the street” and to be open to healing all parts of their lives. But they (in my experience) leave out the Church. They harbor and nurture a lingering resentment towards the Church. To me this is a land mine waiting to explode. Regardless of one’s opinion on organized religion, to not heal all of your past alcoholic relationships is an incomplete recovery. This view of organized religion may ultimately poison a relationship with God.

To say that “I believe in God, but not religion”, is like saying “I believe in air, but not in breathing”.

Pray for a healthy, loving respect for God. It will affect all your relationships.

Oh, Holy Spirit, give me a deep and respectful fear of the Lord, our God ,who gave me life and sustains me though all my sufferings. I ask this in the name of Jesus, the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 1 of Novena to the Holy Spirit for Addictions and Recovery

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Beginning Prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Ask the Holy Spirit for healing during this Novena. Regardless of how long you have been sober, most of us are all still one or more drinks away from returning to our previous status as practicing alcoholics. Even if you are still in the death grip of alcohol, there is still time. When there is still life, there is still hope. God allows u-turns!

Why might there still be the threat of drinking? Perhaps we still are at odds with how to handle sobriety. Reality is still difficult to cope with on its terms. All of us, sober or not, need the Advocate, the Holy Spirit to guide us on our way. He is the real “Higher Power,” the only One through whom God the Father guides and protects His own.

We have nine days of prayer and meditation before Pentecost Sunday. Spend the time wisely. Daily petition the Holy Spirit to help you. Reciting the prayer beginning each day’s novena is good, as well as adding your own humble requests.

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I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Help for those who are tested

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From the Second Reading from today’s morning Mass, the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord:

Hebrews 2:14-18;

Since the children share in blood and flesh, Jesus likewise shared in them, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the Devil, and free those who through fear of death had been subject to slavery all their life. Surely he did not help angels but rather the descendants of Abraham; therefore, he had to become like his brothers and sisters in every way, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest before God to expiate the sins of the people. Because he himself was tested through what he suffered, he is able to help those who are being tested.

I’ll repeat the last line: Because he himself was tested through what he suffered, he is able to help those who are being tested.

Every one of us faces tests on a daily basis. Some of us more than others. For anyone suffering from an addiction, either still enslaved by it or recovering from it, the tests can be brutal. All sorts of things attack us daily and the answer is sometimes presented as: “Just one wouldn’t hurt. What harm can just one do?”

Plenty, as we all know.

Because Jesus Himself was tested, He can assist us, we can call upon Him to increase our strength, (or increase His strength within us). He was tested for 40 days in the desert by Satan, He was tested for 3 excruciating, agonizing hours on the Cross, we can place our sufferings and temptations in light of His. We can get strength from Him.

It’s an emotional exercise, more than anything else, but then again when we are suffering through trials and temptations, our emotions are engaged and our higher rational thinking is absent.

Look upon the Cross.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

On Relapse

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A troubling admission for an alcoholic is one in which you admit to having returned to drinking (No, don’t worry, I haven’t.)

The reasons for a relapse are as varied as the alcoholic. Relapses occur after one has had a period of sustained sobriety. Something happened which made you return. Life and it’s troubles and stresses got bigger than the tools you’ve used in the past to deal with them.

Do not be ashamed about a relapse. It happens. Just pick yourself up, talk to someone about and proceed forward. Think about it and analyze why it happened. As God brings good out of evil, you can bring some “learning experience” out of the relapse. If needed, go to a 12-Step Meeting and announce it. This is a profound act of humility but much compassion and understanding will be shown you.

The long darkness that led to your drinking again may be over. Or not. But if not, it will be by not using the relapse as an excuse to destroy yourself with thoughts and feelings of uselessness. They serve no useful purpose.

Just be aware that whatever it is you went through and experienced did not make you unique. What happened has happened to others. This is why talking about it with someone or attending a 12-Step meeting may be useful. Chances are others have also relapsed in the past. Perhaps someone is on the verge and your experience will prevent them from doing that.

Talk about it. You’ve lost nothing, just some time. Rise up, and be on your way again.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena Through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 3

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On this, the third day of our novena to St. Maximilian Kolbe, please again, go here and say the prayer, thinking of someone you love and know who’s is addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. The consider the following:

The person that you are praying for is probably seeking a short term solution to a long term problem. In a way, this can be a form of suicide, which is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Either way, the person is taking a huge gamble with their immortal soul.

The Church regards addiction to be a mitigating factor if the addictive behavior would otherwise normally be a mortal sin. According to the Catechism, paragraph 1857:

For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”

Addiction would eliminate the “deliberate consent” condition, and possibly the full knowledge of its mortal nature.

The gamble I was referring to is the possibility of the fine line being crossed if relapse occurs. While the argument can be made that the addictive personality of the individual may always be in place and therefore would always mitigate the mortal nature of the sin, I dislike the potentially cavalier reliance on “mitigation” as it may be a dangerous assumption. If one has relapsed, the possibility remains that the person may satisfy all three conditions of a mortal sin. And that is the reason for this post, while the mitigating factor may always be in place, the danger to their immortal soul is too great to completely discount the possibility of a mortal sin being committed.

The act of alcohol or drug abuse is always a grave matter. But the other two conditions which may not be met due to the addiction, may be met because of the new knowledge the person has about him/herself and the substance abuse. They may have full knowledge of the act’s mortal nature due to their recovery program and Catholic spirituality, and their consent may be a willing consent. It may be a deliberate act, not linked to the corruption of the will by addiction.

The argument can go back and forth, all hinging around whether the person’s consent was freely given and whether they fully understood the act’s mortal nature. A problem lies with whether or not the individual recognizes the distinction between mortal and venial sins, or even recognizes the existence of the two kinds. Sin is either deadly (mortal) or not deadly (venial).

From the First Letter of St. John,

1 John 5:16-17

If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life. This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray.
All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly.

One could argue that why bother being Catholic and developing a strong Catholic spirituality? Ignorance will prevent one from committing mortal sins. Well, the answer is easy. With Catholic Christianity you have the only sure road map, drawn by God Himself, to achieve eternal salvation. And with the sacraments, you have the best way to cleanse yourself of all sin, mortal or venial.

Addictive behavior is still sinful, albeit venial. While there is no mathematical formula that states that a certain number of venial sins equates with one mortal sin, the accumulation of venial sins will still distance yourself from God and His graces.

There is an additional component to the gamble one plays. The short term relief and pleasure achieved by the addictive act, if mortal, trades away the possibility of eternal life with God and loved ones in Heaven. A soul with one or more mortal sins condemns itself to Hell. The few seconds, hours or days of pleasure and relief costs the soul an eternity in paradise.

A stupid gamble.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 1

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St. Maximilian Kolbe was a Polish Franciscan priest who was executed at the Nazi concentration camp at Auschwitz in 1941. He offered himself up in place of another man, who survived the death camp and lived to see Fr. Kolbe’s canonization. More about him can be found at the Consecration and Marytown websites.

St. Kolbe also founded the “Militia of the Immaculata” a Catholic organization dedicated to evangelizing the world. It is dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary. All of its members are consecrated (sworn ‘by blood’ to belong to) the Virgin. I am a member. The Consecration site in the previous paragraph is its webpage in the USA. The international site is here .

St. Kolbe, due to the nature of his execution, is one of the patron saints of addicts. Although he was not an alcoholic or an addict, he died by lethal injection in a cell.

The following prayer is a novena for those suffering from an addiction, and is from the MI site above. It should be prayed for nine consecutive days on behalf of anyone suffering from addiction or alcoholism. It doesn’t matter when you pray it, just do it for nine days. Now is a good time as St. Kolbe’s Feast day is August 14th, and your prayers are united with all the other people praying it. (Once an hour for nine consecutive hours in emergency situations is good.)

St. Maximilian Kolbe, your life of love and labor for souls was sacrificed amid the horrors of a concentration camp and hastened to its end by an injection of a deadly drug.

Look with compassion upon (name of person) who is now entrapped in addiction to drugs or alcohol and whom we now recommend to your powerful intercession. Having offered your own life to preserve that of a family man, we turn to you with trust, confident that you will understand and help.

Obtain for us the grace never to withhold our love and understanding, nor to fail in persevering prayer that the enslaving bonds of addiction may be broken and that full health may be restored to him/her whom we love.

We will never cease to be grateful to God who has helped us and heard your prayer for us. Amen.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Resentment

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I was in Holy Hour last night and chanced upon a passage from Genesis:

Genesis 4:6-7
So the LORD said to Cain: “Why are you so resentful and crestfallen?
If you do well, you can hold up your head; but if not, sin is a demon lurking at the door: his urge is toward you, yet you can be his master.”

Setting aside the whole thing about Cain and the First Murder, this passage offers an interesting comment on the dangers of resentment.

To resent something means to relive a hurt or wrong done unto you and to nurture that feeling.

It is seductive as it can make you feel like a “victim” and worthy of pity and therefore a just reason for keeping the wound bleeding.

It is dangerous as it will weaken your sobriety as you will lack serenity (or stable emotional well-being). It is also dangerous as it may cause you to sin. Resentment will open the door to a temptation to sin and Satan is always on the prowl looking for a weakness to exploit and thus lead you away from God.

Get over it, or if that’s honestly too hard, work towards getting over it. In a way, the fact that the next scene in Genesis 4 involves Cain murdering his brother Abel is appropriate. Sin can be a deadly thing, particularly if is a mortal one. See 1 John 5:16 –

If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life. This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray.

Remember:

1 Peter 5:8 –

Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for (someone) to devour.

Don’t let yourself get devoured.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)