Category Archives: Resentment

A rather big “If”

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This excerpt from the Gospel for today’s Mass of Tuesday, the First Week of Lent has a rather troubling condition for people:

Matthew 6:14-15: “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.“

This is, of course, the last part of the “Lord’s Prayer.” And it bothers people when they read it and understand the implications.

They will not be forgiven by God of their sins unless they forgive others first.

No free ride. No “God understands”, as if His understanding means accepting and agreeing with it. No, if you do not forgive others for their sins against you, then God will not forgive you of your sins against Him.

This is really hard for those people who have been grievously injured by someone else. How can forgiveness be expected for someone who has seriously harmed another?

By ourselves alone, it may not be possible.

Matthew 19:26: “‘For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible.’”

In this season of Lent, let us use all the aids available to us from God through the Church in at least trying to be forgiving. It isn’t an easy process.

2 Peter 3:15: “And consider the patience of our Lord as salvation.”

Bible quotes courtesy USCCB.

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Xtreme Makeover Season is on

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Tomorrow begins Lent, a 40 day period of personal interior conversion and renewal. It is also a time to examine our relationships with other people and perhaps repair them. As Christians we are a community, members of the Body of Christ. If our relations with other people are in a shambles, then our attempts at interior conversion and growth in personal holiness will fall short. Remember the words of Jesus in the prayer that He taught us: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

I admittedly write that with some fear and trepidation as there are relationships in my life that are in need or repair, if not outright resurrection from the dead. I leave them up to God’s will, for Him to provide the opportunity and courage to actually do anything, as I am unwilling to tread those paths.

Anyway, Lent is here, and I am posting links to two previous blogposts from earlier years, right here,
and here. Read them as an introduction and background.

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My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Cherish no grudge

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The First Reading from the Mass for today is an exhortation against holding resentments.

Leviticus 19:1-2,17-18: “The LORD said to Moses, ‘Speak to the whole Israelite community and tell them: Be holy, for I, the LORD, your God, am holy. ‘You shall not bear hatred for your brother or sister in your heart. Though you may have to reprove your fellow citizen, do not incur sin because of him. Take no revenge and cherish no grudge against any of your people. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.’”

(Via USCCB.)

As alcoholics and addicts we are told quite frequently about the dangers of holding onto resentments. They are dangerous to our continued sobriety and do not serve any useful purpose. They only hold us back in our spiritual development.

The Lord tells us something more, however. Holding a grudge prevents you from being holy. “Be holy, for I, the LORD, your God, am holy.”

We are made in the image and likeness of God, and it is our duty to “keep that image polished,” so to speak.

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A Saint for those who are Prisoners of their Past

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There is a relatively new Saint whose Feast day today (February 8th) is. Her name is Saint Josephine Bakhita. Although she is not at all connected to alcoholism and addiction, those of us who suffer from them can do well to pay attention to her. Those of us who are haunted by our past and feel that we cannot let go of the resentment associated with it can learn a great deal from how she dealt with her … slavery. Read on here:

A Saint for Those who are Prisoners of their Past: “”

(Via Truth Himself.)

In reading that blog post I can imagine those of us who may be trapped by our past can handle it half as well as she dealt with her enslavement.

She was not a prisoner of her past.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The well do not need a physician, the sick do

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I have probably blogged about this Scripture passage before, but it bears mentioning again. The Gospel reading for today’s Mass (Saturday of the First Week of Ordinary Time) tells us that Jesus came here for the broken and wounded of humanity:

Mark 2:16-17: “Some scribes who were Pharisees saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors and said to his disciples, ‘Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?’ Jesus heard this and said to them (that), ‘Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.’“

(Via USCCB.)

He came for all who need healing. Regardless of the circumstances, if you are sick and suffering, alone and fearful, anxious and worried, He came to heal you. Turn to Him in the Mass, in the Eucharist and in Adoration, and He will heal you. It may take time, but the process begins.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

LET IT PASS AND IT WILL PASS

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Spirit Daily has an article posted yesterday (or today) entitled: LET IT PASS AND IT WILL PASS. It is on the spiritual and sacramental benefits of Confession.

In Twelve Step movements we usually hear a lot about cleaning up the past, and this in important in 4th and 5th Step work. Past hurts, resentment and guilt all can clog up and retard your spiritual development. Not to mention unconfessed sins can perhaps condemn you if they are mortal.

In the Spirit Daily piece linked to above, the writer describes how Jesus can help you clean up your past through Confession.

This is the season of Advent. We must prepare for the coming of the Lord. Clean up your life by examining your conscience and going to Confession before Christmas.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

He is a glutton and a drunkard

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The Gospel Reading for the Mass for Friday of the Second Week of Advent is the one in which Jesus is called a “glutton and a drunkard.”

Matthew 11:16-19: “‘To what shall I compare this generation? It is like children who sit in marketplaces and call to one another, ‘We played the flute for you, but you did not dance, we sang a dirge but you did not mourn.’ For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they said, ‘He is possessed by a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking and they said, ‘Look, he is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is vindicated by her works.'”

(Via USCCB.)

I had written about this before where I approached it from the theme of people being resentful of you for the new life of sobriety that you lead. The notes section in the NAB explain that the passage may mean that (I’m paraphrasing) teachings are rejected, that expectations of others are not being fulfilled. “We do this and that, and you didn’t respond as we thought.” You are doing something that others don’t understand or desire, and therefore you are rejected, just as John the Baptist and Jesus were.

However, just like “by their fruits you shall know them,” if you hold fast, you will be vindicated (proven right).

So, please read the earlier post, right here:

A Glutton and a Drunkard.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to the Immaculate Conception for Alcoholics: Day 4

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Pray daily: O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, didst prepare a worthy dwelling place for thy Son, we beseech thee that, as by the foreseen death of this, thy Son, thou didst preserve her from all stain, so too thou wouldst permit us, purified through her intercession, to come unto thee. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, thy Son, who livest and reignest with thee in the unity of the Holy Ghost, God, world without end. Amen.

Fourth Day Intentions: That we find it within ourselves to open up to those we have hurt in our addictions, and those that have hurt us, and love them. May the path to a possible reconciliation be opened by forgiveness.

Conclude daily: O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to you, those who do not have recourse to you, enemies of the Holy Catholic Church, and all those recommended to you. Amen.

We ask all this in the Name of Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Saviour. Amen

Background for this post is right here.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Mercy triumphs over judgment

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St. James in his New Testament Letter offers us a compelling reason to practice mercy:

This is the Reading from the Morning Prayer in today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

James 2:13: “For the judgment is merciless to one who has not shown mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.”

“Mercy” can be directly related to practicing forgiveness, and this is connected to the Lord’s Prayer verse in which Jesus essentially connects your desire for God’s forgiveness with you forgiving others:

Matthew 6:14-15: “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.”

You show mercy to others and it will be shown to you.

Forgiveness does not mean, at least to me, reconciliation with the person or people who have offended or hurt you. It may mean cutting the emotional ties and resentment over the deed they have done. You may pray for them and offer up sufferings for their salvation, but reconciliation may be too much to handle and cope with.

All Scripture passages courtesy of: USCCB.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

"But, I'm innocent!"

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St. Dorotheus understands that a common objection to his teachings on these subjects is that what if you do an examination of conscience and you find yourself innocent of anything and yet someone still had hurt you? What then?

The Saint would say as he did in the latter 4 paragraphs in the link at the end of this post:

“This kind of thinking is surely ridiculous and has no rational basis.”

The mere fact that someone has “issues” with you indicates that something is awry in your relationship with him. The issues may be either real (grounded in something that you did that the other took offense) or perceived (grounded in something that you thought was harmless but they took offense at. Perhaps an misunderstanding on their part. Nevertheless, you did something.)

Humility in either case begs forgiveness and amendment of purpose. You may see your actions in a different light if they can be misunderstood. Of course, no one can completely control how others perceive their actions, yet humility allows for reasons and methods to heal the wounds caused by misunderstandings.

From the teachings of St. Dorotheus, abbot

(Via Idaho Lay Dominicans.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)