Category Archives: Sin

A Walk with the Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots, Day 4

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Today we cover “this knot which robs the peace of my heart, paralyzes my soul and keeps me from going to my Lord and serving Him with my life…” as we move into Day 4 of our walk through The Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots.

Guilt over some grave matter that you did? Other sins of commission? How about sins of omission (Things that you’re supposed to do, but haven’t)? Unfinished business? Something is nagging at your conscience and not letting you rest. It is serious to the point of preventing your relationship with the Lord from achieving it fulfillment. We are all supposed to go to our Lord and serve Him.

Matthew 6:33 “Therefore, seek first the kingdom of God and his justice, and all these things shall be added to you as well”.

via Matthew – Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.

Like I mentioned in Day 1, a “deep examination of conscience, that “fearless and searching moral inventory” spoken of in Fourth Step of the 12 Steps Movements, is called for to get at a root cause” of what might be paralyzing your spiritual progression.

Since the Church teaches that we go to Jesus through Mary, the Blessed Virgin would be a wonderful aide in helping you take care of this matter.  Dwell on this intention for today; meditate on what the “knot” is so that when you pray the Rosary for this day’s Novena, you can ask with particular need Mary’s intercession for you.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Walk with the Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots, Day 2

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Today we cover “sins of egoism, pride, rancor and … lack of generosity and humility…” in our daily walk with The Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots.

These sins blind you. The more of your “self” that you are bound up in, the less you are open to God’s graces, the less you see Jesus in other people. You adopt a “me versus them” attitude, with the “me” feeling inherently superior.

And leave it to an alcoholic to feel superior to others, even with all the serious character defects these sins reveal.

Work on becoming smaller. To quote St. John the Baptist:

John 3:30 He must increase, while I must decrease.

via John – Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.

Becoming “smaller” is also the “Little Way” of St.Therese of Lisieux, who taught that one should do everything with love, even the smallest, most insignificant task. Nothing is too small for God if done with Love.

So perhaps do “little things” as if they were the most important things in the world at the moment.

They just might be, to someone.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Walk with the Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots, Day 1

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Last week I introduced you all to The Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots. (Well, some of you, a few have known of it 😉 )

I said this Novena just once, at the end of this past December (I did not post daily prayers). The “knots” I won’t bother bringing up, but as I said the prayers each day I noticed that the Novena might be best said for offering up different “knots” for each day.

To that end I am going to start the Novena over, each day specifically offering up “knots” that are seemingly special to that day’s prayers.

Today, Day 1: “this knot….and all the negative consequences that it provokes in my life…”

What specific “knot” in your life is the catalyst for all sorts of negative consequences? A deep examination of conscience, that “fearless and searching moral inventory” spoken of in Fourth Step of the 12 Steps Movements, is called for to get at a root cause of a number of negative incidents in life.

Take a look around your life. What seems to be the negative consequences that abound in it? Can you trace them back to a source (or sources)? Many sins are symptoms of deeper sins.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

ALL SOULS DAY

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Today the Church celebrates the Commemoration of All of the Faithful Departed, also known as: ALL SOULS DAY.

While not necessarily on the list of things that most people keep in the forefront of their minds, death and the afterlife should be for us sober (or sobering up) alcoholics. For that very reason I started Sober Catholic’s sister blog, The Four Last Things.

For we who were on the pathway to an early death have been given a reprieve, having avoided it by no longer drinking. We can now take a look at it in a different light. We can nurture the hopeful expectation that when we finally die, we can be united with God and reunited with our loved ones who have gone on before us.

Today is their day; all those who have died and are amongst the blessed in Heaven, as well as those who died in a state of some sin. These souls cannot enter Heaven yet and so must undergo purification. Another reminder that “not drinking” is not enough; we must continually develop our spirituality and virtue by amending our lives and avoiding sin.

The Four Last Things has numerous blogposts as well as links in the sidebar where you can learn more about the Catholic (and Biblical) teachings on Purgatory.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Taking up the Cross

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Matthew 16:24 “Then Jesus said to his disciples: “If anyone is willing to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”

(Via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.)

As alcoholics and addicts we often carry the burdens of temptations. Many people do, we are not unique in that regard. However if we succumb to them, it can be dangerous. Even if it is a serious temptation like impurity and we aren’t sex or porn addicts, it may open the door to further destructive behavior given the potentially addictive nature of our thinking.

It is painful to carry the burden of temptations. We want to surrender to them “just a little,” to ease the burden. But we cannot as we know the effects. Given that we are active in our recovery, we are probably far more sensitive to inappropriate behavior and thinking than most people. Any fall can be an excuse for self-loathing.

It is fine if we constantly “pick ourselves up” after a fall into whatever sin is tempting us. This is what the saints did.

But I think that if we view the continual troubles and trials as a cross that we must bear, we can show Jesus, “See, Lord? I am your servant and follower. I bear the Cross of this temptation and I will not drop it.”

Equate that trial or temptation with the Cross. It is a tangible feeling to connect to Jesus, something that you can think about whenever you hear someone talk about “hang it on the Cross,” or “unite your sufferings to Jesus.”

It may make it more bearable.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

With my whole heart, I have sought you

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Psalm 119: 9-17 “By what does an adolescent correct his way? By keeping to your words.
With my whole heart, I have sought you. Do not let me be driven away from your commandments.
I have hidden your eloquence in my heart, so that I may not sin against you.
Blessed are you, O Lord. Teach me your justifications.
With my lips, I have pronounced all the judgments of your mouth.
I have been delighted in the way of your testimonies, as if in all riches.
I will be trained in your commandments, and I will consider your ways.
I will meditate on your justifications. I will not forget your words.”

The composer of the 119th Psalm continues the theme of the first 8 verses, that of seeking the Lord with the whole heart and equating purity and holiness with following the Commandments.

This is yet another example of how this Psalm is a good one to know for those of us in recovery. “I have hidden your eloquence in my heart, so that I may not sin against you,” shows that interior conversion helps one abstain from sin. The Twelve Steps are an excellent method to kickstart conversion, but when combined with a desire to know God through His sacred teachings, how much sweeter will recovery be!

Furthermore, the Psalmist declares that he will not keep silent, that not only does he desire the Lord to impart His ways, but that such things are a delight and will be shared with others.

This entire section is a good lesson in the desire to know God’s will, to learn God’s teachings and the joy of following the Commandments. All because they keep you on the righteous path (as well as armament against relapse).

NOTE: This is Psalm 119 in most Catholic Bibles based on the Latin Vulgate, it is Psalm 118 in Bibles based on the Greek Septuagint.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Giving Glory to God

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During my meditations this morning I decided to wander about outside and ponder things. One of the things I mused upon was my whole life in general. Basically, where I’m at versus where I’d rather be, and why there’s a chasm in between. Simple stuff. Part of this is because today is the Feast of the Transfiguration of Our Lord, and the beginning of what I’ve come to annually call Second Lent.

As usual in these situations, which occur frequently every few months over the past twenty-five years or so, I get rather deep and prying and this morning was no different. And as I often do during these times, I ponder my writing career or lack thereof. My blogging efforts have been added to the mix; it seems there’s no end to the list of things I think I’m lacking diligence and dedication in. 😉

I came to the conclusion, or realization, that despite whatever I may say otherwise, whatever my stated intentions, I do all of this writing and blogging for me. Me, me, wonderful me. The fiction writing, yes, that can be partially selfish inasmuch I’ve adopted the theory of writing-as-therapy. But any writing talent that I have is God-given and I should really be doing it for His greater glory. Same for this Sober Catholic blog and the online recovery stuff.

But no, I did some soul-searching and I honestly think I do it for recognition. I’ve gotten some, but nothing to really boost the ego to atmospheric proportions. Still, “Look at me!”

That shouldn’t be. We Catholics (all Christians, really) are supposed to be humble in considering our God-given talents and to use them to give glory to God as well as being of use to others.

So, using the skills or training that I learned in recovery, I am going to try to reorient and retrain my thinking and attitude. It is a recovery exercise after all. Humility is a tool that is essential to maintaining one’s sobriety. Selfishness is not conducive to good sobriety. Although I’m not in danger of a relapse, the added precaution is not a bad thing.

How? By sticking to a routine each morning of daily prayer first. Too often I stray away from it and justify it by thinking that my brain is too foggy to really concentrate on the Divine Office. I could say the Rosary and Chaplet of Divine Mercy, first. Brain is sufficiently awakened afterwards! If the first thing I do upon awakening is to put God first, I am victorious in my first battle of the day. I can build upon that.

Also, just recognizing the red flags of pride. Recognizing the “red flags” of some character defects was the first clue I had that 12 Step recovery was working some positive affects in my life, wayback when. I trained myself to recognize the tell-tale signs of anger, hostility, impatience, or whatever, as they were starting to erupt, and thus was able to quell them. I am not perfect, but I’m way less angry and impatient than I was back in the day. “OH, YEAH, WHAT’S THAT? YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME??? WHY I OUGHTA….” Oh, heh-heh. 😉 Thinking that “Oh, I should blog today!” as if that of itself is important. Sure, it may be to a number of people. I have received numerous emails over the years from people expressing gratitude for Sober Catholic. But honestly, and this may sound strange, but in doing it for me (at least subconsciously thinking that, and occasionally consciously thinking it), I thereby reserve the “right” not to bother with it. Hence, my not blogging as often as I should. Or writing my fiction as often as I should.

(This may connect with my relationship with Jesus that I discovered a year ago that is lacking in actual substance. It is a blogpost long overdue, so perhaps I’ll set about myself and correct it.)

And so I think I can apply the same concepts to redirecting my attitude towards my blogging and fiction writing. Personal therapy, sure; feelings of satisfaction, fine; but ultimately the first reason for writing or blogging has to be to give glory to Him who made me and who gave me whatever talent I have, and whatever mission I was assigned.

It may instill a better sense of personal responsibility. Since we are to “…seek first the kingdom of God and his justice, and all these things shall be added to you as well,” this sense of personal responsibility will engender a greater faith in Divine Providence, as “these things” are basic living needs. But also, this strengthens our partnership with God. Our relationship with Him flows both ways. We seek Him and give glory to Him in our works, He provides for us in ways we may not see right away. He didn’t need to create us, but did so anyway as He is Love, and Love creates. Love needs something else to love. It cannot be directed to the self. Self-directed love is self-absorption and destructive (“destructive” being the opposite of “creative”). So, we do things not for ourselves, but for others. That we may also benefit is a side point. So, doing this for Him, is doing it out of love. Not a selfish love, but one that is outward-directed. Creative!

The resulting creative-ness builds upon itself as there is inherent joy in doing good for others, if that doing good is the happy consequence of faith. Sort of like the Scriptural mandate that “works alone” do not suffice so that we may not boast of them and think we can merit Heaven on our own.

I think I am starting to wander off-topic and so I’ll close for now.

(Incidentally that passage, “Seek first the kingdom…” from Mathew 6:33 was one of the names I was thinking of for this blog, back in 2007. Turns out it had been taken many times by other bloggers. I don’t think any were Catholic.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Twelve Steps and Compatibility with Sacramental Confession

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During my interview on the “‘On Call’ with Wendy Wiese” radio show on May 1st there was an Anonymous caller at the end who asked a question on the compatibility of the Twelve Steps with the Catholic Church’s sacramental Confession. As the call was near the end of the show, I didn’t fully engage the question. Upon listening again to the show I caught a deeper sense to Anonymous’ point. Which was:

In the Twelve Steps, you review your life and bring forward all the bad stuff you did. How is that compatible with the teaching that in Confession, God forgives and forgets your sins? I think he meant that if you’ve been confessing your sins to a priest all along, why bother going through the moral inventory of Step 4 and sharing it with another in Step 5? (As well as the follow up Steps along the way.) If God forgives and forgets in Confession, what is the point of doing the Steps?

I am assuming a few things. One, is that the person in question has not dropped the practice of the Faith during their drinking career. Many do. In the context of the caller’s question, it seems as if the hypothetical person was still going to Confession and probably confessing all of their alcoholic transgressions. This is fine. They were forgiven. The slate was clean. However, chances are they committed those sins all over again. In my experience, and in the testimony of priests who generalize what they hear in Confession, many people commit and confess the same sins time and time again, whether they are addicts or not.

Another thing: although Catholics are supposed to do a thorough Examination of Conscience in preparation for Confession, I think few actually go very deep and try and get at the underlying root causes of their sins. This is the intended purpose of the Twelve Steps, particularly the Fourth one. We have to uncover not only the bad things we’ve done, but we must understand why we did them, so as to comprehend how our alcoholism affected our lives and the lives of those around us. We do that fearless and searching moral inventory not only to clean up our past and make amends, but to see the patterns and commonalities or all of our sins. We get at what triggered our behavior so we can make the required changes in our lives. Whether our past behavior involved consistently broken relationships, an inability to hold a job, or just not being able to finish “big dreams,” we see in our Fourth Step all the bad we have done, and also why. So even though we may have confessed these sins and have been forgiven, we still need to address them in the context of the Twelve Steps.

Why? So we can forgive ourselves. That may sound trite and New Age-y, but if we do not forgive ourselves we run the risk of not being able to shed our resentments over these past failures. “We remember the past, but do not close the door on it,” to paraphrase a line from AA’s “Big Book.” We close the door on our past out of shame or fear. If we forgive ourselves, we have no need to close that door to our past. We can remember it as it made us whom we are today, and we can look ourselves in the mirror because we learned from our past. And we can bring what we learned to others.

So yes, God forgives us and forgets our sins when we go to Confession; but when we work the Twelve Steps, we can forgive and forget them, too.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Seven Penitential Psalms and the Songs of the Suffering Servant

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The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has an excellent resource on their website for the final day of Lent, as well as for Good Friday meditations. The Seven Penitential Psalms and the Songs of the Suffering Servant are taken from their New American Bible translation.

I frequently use these in preparation for when I really need to make a good Act of Contrition; I say them all though in succession. They do take a lot out of me. Nevertheless they are very efficacious in helping me get in the right “frame of mind,” and increase my willingness to go through with the Sacrament of Confession.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Emergency Prayer Request (UPDATED)

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The mother-in-law of a friend of mine on Google+ may face imminent discharge from a hospital because “she has already cost the insurance company too much money.” She has been diagnosed with a pancreatic tumor. She was due to receive surgery for it when the insurance company called and stopped all further payment due to the costs. The surgery cannot be approved. My friend issued an urgent prayer request on Google+, which has been picked up by others and posted to other social networks. The prayer request is here:

“We need prayers here! It’s been like an episode of House trying to figure out what’s wrong with my mother-in-law.

They figured out it is a pancreatic tumor and are ready to remove it and insurance called in a 100% full stop to payments saying she’s cost them too much to approve surgery now, too. We have 4.5 hours before the hospital discharges her.”

The 4.5 hours is up at about 3:00 ET (USA) or 1900 GMT/UTC.

This is grossly unconscionable to place money above the life of a person. This is a basic decency. No matter what the cost, or whatever the survival rate is, to put money before a life is pure evil.

This quantification of a human life, that after a certain point “you are just too much of a burden,” or “too much of a cost” is reprehensible and not at all defensible from any valid moral standpoint.

It is a symptom of the sickness of society, that a life has a dollar value (or Euro, Pound Sterling, whatever) and after a point, just pull the plug.

Western civilization is in a decay. It needs to be revived and the only way to do that is to get out there and evangelize. Speak the Gospel Truth, live it as best one can, and confront the forces of evil and darkness when they present their ugly agenda.

One of Christianity’s best teachings is that we are made in the image and likeness of God and that we have an inherent dignity for that reason. Plus, we are adopted children of God through our Lord Jesus Christ. No other religion claims anything like that. Judaism may be close inasmuch they are our elder family in the Faith, and they are the Chosen People of God. But, Judaism is not a faith that seeks to convert others. We Christians can go out and bring people into the fullness of Divine Truth, and in doing so heal humanity of the sickness that is going on that allows my friend’s mother-in-law to possibly die without the surgery that can enable her to live. All because she “costs too much.”

 

An update from my friend: “Last night I contacted their state assemblyman and I wrote the Dept. of Insurance. The surgeon has pulled major, major strings behind the scenes with the hospital as well. The phone started ringing at 8:05 this morning. The insurance company is now caving on almost everything, but it isn’t definite yet.

They approved her ICU stay.
They approved all her tests and procedures.
The surgeons are confidant that they’ll have the surgery approved, but it isn’t yet. The surgeons are saying they’re doing the surgery no matter what.
They are denying her hospital stay on the regular floor saying she did not need to be in-patient in between ICU and surgery. This is 4 days in the hospital they’re refusing to pay for.

Everyone knows if she’d left she’d not be able to get the surgery covered so that isn’t an option, and this is definite improvement as the most expensive stuff is covered, but the outstanding approval for surgery in the morning and then the insurance nightmare that will be waiting post-surgery are the big issues right now, which is such a huge relief compared to last night! Please keep up the prayers today!”

UPDATE FROM TODAY: “My mother-in-law is now recuperating from surgery! They removed her tumor and everything was as perfect as possible! We haven’t heard anything from insurance or the business office.

Please pray in gratitude for the surgery. For her swift, full, and uneventful recovery. For God’s blessings on her surgeon, Michael. For our children who are missing home. And for the financial situation to be worked out to provide for all involved as they need. Thank you prayer warriors for storming heaven!

…

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! She’s not coming to as we would hope. Over 24hrs later and she’s still pretty out of it. We were also told today that no headway has been made on the insurance.

The nurses and docs continue to be fantastic. My husband is flying home today in a lightning storm. I’m enjoying while I can that vegetarianism is taken for granted here so choices are clearly labeled and abundant. Small pleasures. 🙂 “

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)