Category Archives: Suffering

Trusting in God

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A prayer by St. Francis DeSales:

Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life with fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to whom you belong will in His love enable you to profit by them. He has guided you thus far in life. Do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials. Whenever you cannot stand, He will carry you lovingly in His arms.

Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow. The same Eternal Father who takes care of you today will take care of you tomorrow, and every day of your life. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace then, and put aside all useless thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations.

From the Gospel according to Matthew;

Matthew 6:25-34;

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?
Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’ All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.
Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Be made clean

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From the Gospel according to Luke, from today’s Mass (Friday after Epiphany) 
Luke 5:12-16;

Now there was a man full of leprosy in one of the towns where he was; and when he saw Jesus, he fell prostrate, pleaded with him, and said, “Lord, if you wish, you can make me clean.”

Jesus stretched out his hand, touched him, and said, “I do will it. Be made clean.” And the leprosy left him immediately.

Then he ordered him not to tell anyone, but “Go, show yourself to the priest and offer for your cleansing what Moses prescribed; that will be proof for them.”

The report about him spread all the more, and great crowds assembled to listen to him and to be cured of their ailments, but he would withdraw to deserted places to pray.



The man was instantly healed of leprosy. Would that our addiction of alcoholism be lifted immediately as well. No pain, no suffering (ours or anyone else’s) no loss of family, jobs, years and so on. No need to rebuild everything from the start in your 30’s or 40’s or 50’s and wonder if it’s too late. (Although people in recovery invariably enjoy that aspect of it, once there’s been a sustained period of sobriety. The idea of a fresh start is wonderful. Still, there may be a lingering feeling of “Why me?”, especially when you dwell to long on regrets.)
Anyway, such is not our doing. We cannot linger in the time-wasting exercise of regret, nor the “Why me?” attitude towards our alcoholism and addiction.
We can, however, approach  Jesus and ask for our healing and humbly wait for as long as it takes. Things are done in God’s time, and the process of healing may take as long as it does for our own benefit. We learn from it. Alcoholics and addicts are people who routinely want what we want, and we want it now. And when we get what we want, we sometimes forget what it was like before we got it. Our want was satiated, our lacking was satisfied and then we’re on to the next want. Nothing is learned.
People who are sincerely trying to recover from alcoholism and addiction through a spiritual method such as religion or a Twelve Step movement understand that things useful are earned and merited, not given.
Ask God in your prayer time not “Why me?”, but rather, “What are You trying to teach me in all this? What am I supposed to do with this? How is this bringing me closer to You and to others?” 
Then wait silently and listen, the answer may come soon.
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Rains, Floods and Wind

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From the Gospel reading for today’s Mass:

Matthew 7:21,24-27;

Jesus said to his disciples:“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’will enter the Kingdom of heaven,but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.

“Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came,and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock. And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand. The rain fell, the floods came,and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined.”

Being Christian is not a part-time thing, something to be done for an hour on Sundays or when it is convenient. It is supposed to be something that we are 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is supposed to guide us in all events and situations.

Jesus is implying this when He differentiates between those who hear His words and lives by them versus those who only listen. Those who live by His teachings survive the buffetings of life, all the storms that rage against us. Those who do not will not.

What house of faith do we build? Is in one built on rock, so that when we are buffeted by trials, temptations, troubles and tribulations we survive, because we rest in Jesus and His teachings? Or is it a house of faith built upon sand, so that when the least amount of trouble comes, it collapses and falls because we relied upon our own strengths?

The former is the faith we Christians are supposed to possess, the faith that endures whatever is tossed at us by life; the latter is the faith of convenience, the faith that on the outside seems sincere and devoted, but is abandoned in trying times. A faith that is crushed by life. That is a faith that isn’t strong, so that it’s possessor abandons it for the seeming comfort of an addiction or a secular solution.

One of my main character defects that seems to uncomfortably linger on despite 5 and a half years of sobriety is impatience, frustration, and annoyance. I lump them all together because they are all a symptom or offshoot of pride. “Why should I have to endure this trial, this delay and whatnot? Don’t you realize who I am?” And therefore when something happens that offends my sense of how things should be ordered for my convenience, I get impatient, annoyed, irritable and the like. I usually work through it and come out much the better, but the lag time between the thing that triggered my impatience, etc., and my acceptance lasts too long, it seems. Granted, my “working through it” helps me to grow spiritually, but still the example could be better and the results do not justify the means.

Anyway, humility is the usual antidote to pride. I have to remind myself of my proper place in the Universe (there is a God and I’m not Him, I’m just a sinner with a computer) and struggle to do better. I try to place in my mind a training method that recognizes these prideful triggers and nip them in the bud as soon as I can. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. I’m a sinner and I recognize that.

Humility is a major theme for this Advent season. The obvious counter to any prideful resentment over having to endure a situation is to remind ourselves that God humbled Himself to become like us, so as to to eventually pay the price of the crime we committed, that of Original Sin. Jesus’ birth and death were two humiliating circumstances that He did not have to undergo. But He did for love of us. This needs to be meditated upon again and again during this season. (We get to do it again in a few months when Lent begins.)

We listen to Jesus’s words and we live by them. We humbly accept whatever happens to us, and hopefully calmness will be the response and not frustration and impatience. We rest in Jesus. “Our hearts are restless until we rest in Him,” is either a Scriptural quote or a saying of a Saint, I can’t place it either way. It is a struggle to overcome our failings, but somehow we have to learn to live like another Christ. And living means to breathe, eat, drink, love and think. We can eat and drink of the Eucharist, and love and think through prayer.

Continue on your Advent journey of preparing for Christ’s arrival.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Our Lady of Sorrows

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On September 15th the Church celebrates the Memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows. This feast honors the Blessed Virgin Mary in her role as the sorrowful Mother of our Lord, sharing in His sufferings and death.

This was predicted in Sacred Scripture in both of the Gospel Readings that can be used in today’s Memorial Mass:

Luke 2:33-35;

Jesus’ father and mother were amazed at what was said about him;
and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother,
“Behold, this child is destined
for the fall and rise of many in Israel,
and to be a sign that will be contradicted
and you yourself a sword will pierce
so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

John 19:25-27;

Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother
and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas,
and Mary Magdalene.
When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved
he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.”
Then he said to the disciple,
“Behold, your mother.”
And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.

The sword that pierced Mary’s heart mentioned in Luke was her Son’s sufferings, crucifixion and death. She is our role model in the sharing of His sufferings, in that we are also to share in them by uniting our trials and tribulations to Him. “Nail them to the Cross.”

In John’s Gospel, we see that Jesus, from upon the Cross, gave the care of His Mother to the disciple John. By extension, He also gave her to us. We are also His disciples, and a proper Christian takes Mary into their home and honors her. This honoring and reverence for Mary is also Scriptural:

Luke 1:46-48;

And Mary said: “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my savior.
For he has looked upon his handmaid’s lowliness; behold, from now on will all ages call me blessed.

By making Mary blessed in your home and within your soul, you are following the will of God as outlined in Scripture. And as Mary is held up as the role model for all of us in following the will of God, male and female, sober or drunk, we should do well to follow such direction.

She paid for her obedience to God’s will by sharing in her Son’s suffering. We can look to her for guidance and consolation in our own sufferings and trials.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Triumph of the Cross

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On September 14th the Church celebrates the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. We read in the Second Reading from Today’s Mass, from Paul’s Letter to the Phillipians:

Phillipians 2:6-11

Brothers and sisters:
Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God something to be grasped.
Rather, he emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
coming in human likeness;
and found human in appearance,
he humbled himself,
becoming obedient to death,
even death on a cross.
Because of this, God greatly exalted him
and bestowed on him the name
that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bend,
of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Because of His humility in accepting a horrific death He was exalted by God, and all who wish to follow Him must likewise accept whatever crosses that are bestowed upon them. This is a central belief in Christianity, that accepting suffering is honorable and necessary and essential for what Christians call “successful” and “normal” .

Note that this differs strongly from what the world refers to as “successful” and “normal”. Christianity, and especially Catholicism, offers the only real explanation for suffering (Original Sin, read Genesis 3) and offers the only real solution (acceptance). Others deny it or avoid it and the world tells you that you should take something or do something to eliminate it. This is why we drink and drug, and why perhaps some of us abuse said drink and drugs.

We find our victory in the Cross of Christ. On His Cross, death was destroyed forever, inasmuch as it will never again keep us out of Heaven. We can still reject God and Heaven, but that’s another issue. If we follow God’s will as best we can, guided by the Church and the Holy Spirit, we will eventually find our union with God for all eternity.

The suffering that we endured while drinking and recovering we nail to the Cross of Christ. We unite our sufferings to His. As He destroyed death, so too will we achieve our victory over whatever we are addicted to.

This is the contradiction of the Cross, that in apparent defeat and death, victory and life are achieved. We had reached the nadir of our life when we hit our bottom, and reached that point where we thought that if we continue to drink we will die, but if we stop we may only think we will die.

But somehow we pulled ourselves up (or more than likely had help) and sought to live. Our old selves were crucified, and we arose in a resurrection of sorts and in some manner unique to our abilities bring the hope of our sobriety to others.

Nail it to the Cross. Whatever it is that is disturbing you or keeping you awake at night. Look upon a crucifix (a cross with Jesus’ body hanging from it) and regard that as your hope. For it is. Without the Death and subsequent Resurrection of Jesus we would all be barred from Heaven. Protestant Christians prefer crosses without the body of Christ on it, claiming that the victory has been won in His Resurrection. This is only partly true. But you cannot have the Resurrection without the Crucifixion. Good Friday comes before Easter Sunday on the calendar.

Without the suffering, there is no living.

The Holy Cross of Christ, with Him on it, is the symbol of our hope. It is our reminder that our sufferings will end, that they have merit, and will lead to our own victory.

Nail it to the Cross. Gaze upon the Cross of Christ and hope.

From the Gospel from today’s Mass:

John 3:16;

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him might not perish but might have eternal life.

That Cross is our sign that we will not perish.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Trials Permitted to Happen for a Reason

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While randomly flipping through the Douay-Rheims translation of the Bible last night while in Eucharistic Adoration, I chanced upon this passage from Tobias (Tobit in the NAB. Please note that the translation in the NAB is very different from the D-R. If you don’t have a copy of the D-R, there’s a link to it in the blog’s sidebar in the “For all things Catholic” section).

Tobias 2:12-14

Now this trial the Lord therefore permitted to happen to him, that an example might be given to posterity of his patience, as also of holy Job. For whereas he had always feared God from his infancy, and kept his commandments, he repined not against God because the evil of blindness had befallen him, but continued immoveable in the fear of God, giving thanks to God all the days of his life.

Tobias had become blind, despite having led a virtuous and faithful life in very trying circumstances. (Why do bad things happen to good people?)

Note that the passage says that the Lord permitted this trial to happen to him, meaning perhaps that God could have prevented it.

But the passage also states that there was a reason for the trial’s happening, “so that an example might be given to posterity for his patience.”

OK, so a bad thing happened to a good person. And perhaps such things fit in with God’s overall plan for your life, that a bad thing occurs so that something good is drawn out of it. In Tobias’ case, it was so that others would benefit from his patient endurance.

How do you react to your alcoholism or addiction? Are you angry and resentful that you cannot drink like normal people? (You might know the joke told in AA meetings: “If I could drink like a normal person, I’d drink all day.”) Or do you accept your addiction, deal with it, incorporate the principles of your recovery program into your life and seek to determine how you can learn from your experience and apply it to other people and situations?

In my cessation from drinking, I learned I needed more that what AA’s spirituality offered. I returned to the Catholic Faith, feeling that only a 2,000 year-old religion with its breadth and depth can truly keep me sober and alive. AND I eventually started this blog, with the idea that there are other Catholics and spiritual seekers who need to dive into deep waters to sustain them, because other spiritual solutions are unsatisfying.

So, what are YOU doing with your sobriety? If your sobriety is a private affair, that is wonderful, you are still an example to others in a little way. But if you feel called to do something more than just not drink, that is wonderful also, as you are seeking to reach out to others and bring the Gospel message to those who need it.

Do whatever is within your abilities and don’t apologize for not doing more, if more is beyond your reach. As long as you end up viewing your sobriety as a gift, and your recovery as something that brought you closer to God. We are not all called to start Catholic sobriety blogs, or whatever else. We are meant to stay sober and draw closer to God. Whether in small ways or big ways, you’re doing God’s work. This is more than most.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Good Focus

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A friend sent me this scripture quote in an email:

Romans 12:12;

Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.

A simple notion, but an example of a person who is focused in the right direction.

We are Christian, hope is the predominant theme of our existence. The hope of eternal salvation and union with God and reunion with our loved ones.

We endure affliction, we do not shun it or seek to escape it. And, as sober alcoholics, we understand the folly of artificial palliatives like alcohol. It doesn’t work t o ease the pain. At first yes, but after abuse, no.

We persevere in prayer. Prayer is the uplifting of our heart and mind and soul to God. It is our way of communicating with our creator. We offer up our joys and sufferings in prayer. We turn to prayer instead of alcohol.

Rejoice, endure and persevere.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

That you may not grow weary and lose heart.

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You’re struggling with your alcoholism or addiction. You think there’s no point in going on, of even trying. Take heart with this:

From the Second Reading of the Mass from the 20th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year C):

Hebrews 12:1-4

Brothers and sisters:
Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses,
let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us
and persevere in running the race that lies before us
while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus,
the leader and perfecter of faith.
For the sake of the joy that lay before him
he endured the cross, despising its shame,
and has taken his seat at the right of the throne of God.
Consider how he endured such opposition from sinners,
in order that you may not grow weary and lose heart.
In your struggle against sin
you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood.

As I’ve written before, you’re not alone in your struggle. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, gain strength and perseverance from the suffering that He endured. Offer your suffering up to God, in imitation of the Son of God’s crucifixion and death for our sake.

People may reject you for your intention to become sober and or clean. They may oppose your efforts to survive. They may despise your struggle to live the Catholic Faith to keep sober and clean.

He suffered on the Cross to the extent that He did so you can draw upon that strength in your own trials.

Do not weary and tire. Do not lose heart. In your struggle to survive in a sober and clean life you are cooperating in building up the kingdom of God, that is working to transform the world from its destructive ways and towards a culture of life.

Choose to live. You are not alone in the struggle.

For an explanation as to why you’re reading this on a post date of “Thursday” instead of the expected “Sunday”, read this post .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Pit of Destruction

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You are an alcoholic or addict an all seems lost and hopeless. You are at the “jumping off place”, that place where you feel that if you continue to drink you will die, but if you don’t drink, you may wish to die.

Call upon the Lord and He will hear your prayer.

From the Responsorial Psalm from the Mass on the 20th Sunday in Ordinary Time, (Year C):

Psalm 40:2-4

I waited, waited for the LORD; who bent down and heard my cry,
Drew me out of the pit of destruction, out of the mud of the swamp, Set my feet upon rock, steadied my steps,
And put a new song in my mouth, a hymn to our God. Many shall look on in awe and they shall trust in the LORD.

God will hear your cry, as plaintive and as weak as it may feel to you. The depth of your pain and anguish is a loud scream reaching out to Heaven. God and all of Heaven hear it. In my opinion, every alcoholic and addict who has died and been saved hears it.

Being drawn out from the pit of destruction, whether you put yourself there or got there by however addicts and alcoholics get that way, won’t be easy. But ask, and God will assist. “Seek first the Kingdom of God” instead of the easy pleasures of the world, and you will be drawn from the pit. Your feet will be (eventually) steady and you will love God with a new gratitude. A new song (or perhaps a new way of life?) will be sung by you and you will learn to trust in God. You will listen to Him, instead of the world you tried to hide from in your addiction.

For an explanation as to why you’re reading this on a post date of “Thursday” instead of the expected “Sunday”, read this post .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Ought to be put to death

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We who are sincere Catholic Christians may expect to have the occasional lousy day for living out our Faith and speaking Truth to people. Consider the prophet Jeremiah’s situation:

From the First Reading from the Mass on the 20th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year C)

Jeremiah 38:4;

In those days, the princes said to the king:
“Jeremiah ought to be put to death;
he is demoralizing the soldiers who are left in this city,
and all the people, by speaking such things to them;
he is not interested in the welfare of our people,
but in their ruin.”

All he was doing was living out the vocation placed before him by God, that is to prophesy (relate God’s will and message of admonishment; to speak on behalf of God). Granted, not an easy task, one reason why virtually every Old Testament Jewish prophet ran the other way when God called upon them.

Jeremiah was telling the people of their impending doom for having turned away from the worship of the one true God. They didn’t want to hear it. The people’s reaction is much the same as any person trapped in addiction who still thinks that drinking or drugging is the best way to solve their troubles. They may not want to put you to death but their attitude may be just as hostile. (Indifference to your concerns may appear to be just as cold as a a wish for death.)

The interesting thing that in both cases’, the Israelites and an untreated addict, the death sentence is on them, and not the messenger. Jeremiah survived. The Israelites were conquered. You will survive intervening for an alcoholic or addict friend, even if the intervention failed. Both the Israelites and the addict preferred their own gods.

Be a good Jeremiah to those in your life. Watch the video linked in the “Music Video” section in the sidebar for inspiration. If there’s a Jeremiah in your life telling you things that you don’t want to hear, consider listening. Chances are that if your drinking and drugging is serious enough, you’ve got a legion of Jeremiahs telling you things you don’t want to hear.

Get a clue.

For an explanation as to why you’re reading this on a post date of “Thursday” instead of the expected “Sunday”, read this post .

Edited by Paulcoholic at 9:45 PM, same day. (“Trapped in addiction” was “trapped in recovery”. Whoops.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)