Category Archives: Suffering

Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 5

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OK, we begin the fifth day of our novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe. Like the first few days, kindly go here and read the prayer for a loved one and then consider the following:

Today would have been my sister’s 61st birthday. I know, yesterday would have been my Dad’s 95th. These days were once a family holiday.

Anyway, in thinking about my sister (a non-alcoholic, like I said yesterday, I am the only drunk -or ex-drunk- in the family) I started thinking about the ties that bind us to each other. Whether the person you are praying the novena for is your brother or sister, or just one in spirit, or maybe you are praying this novena for yourself, in essence we are all in this together. We are all celebrating our Catholic Faith (or trying to) and maintaining our sobriety through it. We needn’t go it alone. There is usually someone out there willing to help, sometimes you are the person that is the helper. It is a tough row to hoe if attempted alone. Seek out others. Connect and reach out. It doesn’t matter if you don’t need the help, someone may be needing you. Do not reject them.

Being alone is horrible. The sense of isolation that makes you feel as if you are by yourself in a crowd and you are unable to connect to others is damning. This is the kind that causes you to feel that you are the worst drinker and drunk in the world and that you’ve got it worse than anyone else, before you or since. If you’re sober now, you’ve felt this way. If you’re still struggling, you feel this way. In AA it’s called “terminal uniqueness”. Terminal in that if the isolation doesn’t end, a life may. Don’t forget others out there, still suffering. Try and discern the best way you can help, even if it’s only one. If you need the help, don’t hesitate to ask someone. Pray to God for the strength and courage to humble yourself and get assistance.

Survive. Choose life, your own or another’s.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 2

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Yesterday we began a Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe. Please open a new tab or window in your browser and then go here . Read the prayer and after you’ve said it contemplate this:

The person who is trapped in addiction is now where you were. If you are not an addict, “There but for the grace of God” could you also have gone. If you are related, as in family ties, well, you share the same genes and studies have shown there is a genetic factor in addiction. Some dispute that, and I really don’t care why someone is an alcoholic or addict, I am just concerned that they are. I tend to agree with a genetic factor, inasmuch that addicts are different in some way, and perhaps a familial relationship may be something to consider if the addict is a relation.

So, while you are praying for the loved one, also consider your own chances, missed or yet to be. If there is no familial relationship, consider the addict’s family. They are also trapped, although in a different manner.

We are all connected, especially if we are baptized Christians. We are all members of the Body of Christ. If one member is sick, so are the others.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 1

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St. Maximilian Kolbe was a Polish Franciscan priest who was executed at the Nazi concentration camp at Auschwitz in 1941. He offered himself up in place of another man, who survived the death camp and lived to see Fr. Kolbe’s canonization. More about him can be found at the Consecration and Marytown websites.

St. Kolbe also founded the “Militia of the Immaculata” a Catholic organization dedicated to evangelizing the world. It is dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary. All of its members are consecrated (sworn ‘by blood’ to belong to) the Virgin. I am a member. The Consecration site in the previous paragraph is its webpage in the USA. The international site is here .

St. Kolbe, due to the nature of his execution, is one of the patron saints of addicts. Although he was not an alcoholic or an addict, he died by lethal injection in a cell.

The following prayer is a novena for those suffering from an addiction, and is from the MI site above. It should be prayed for nine consecutive days on behalf of anyone suffering from addiction or alcoholism. It doesn’t matter when you pray it, just do it for nine days. Now is a good time as St. Kolbe’s Feast day is August 14th, and your prayers are united with all the other people praying it. (Once an hour for nine consecutive hours in emergency situations is good.)

St. Maximilian Kolbe, your life of love and labor for souls was sacrificed amid the horrors of a concentration camp and hastened to its end by an injection of a deadly drug.

Look with compassion upon (name of person) who is now entrapped in addiction to drugs or alcohol and whom we now recommend to your powerful intercession. Having offered your own life to preserve that of a family man, we turn to you with trust, confident that you will understand and help.

Obtain for us the grace never to withhold our love and understanding, nor to fail in persevering prayer that the enslaving bonds of addiction may be broken and that full health may be restored to him/her whom we love.

We will never cease to be grateful to God who has helped us and heard your prayer for us. Amen.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Bruised reeds and smoldering wicks and light yokes

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Recently I wrote a post about whether God will ever give you more than you can handle. You can read it here .
I knew of other scriptural passages that are related, and is sometimes used to support the notion that He never will. I recently found them:
Matthew 12:20

A bruised reed he will not break, a smoldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory.

Matthew 11:29-30

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

Reflect on these. The storms of trials, stresses and anxieties can sometimes make His help seem distant and indeed the troubles can seem overpowering. Take a time out from your stress. Grab a Bible. Turn to the Gospels. Any one. Switch to the Old Testament and peruse the Psalms, 150 prayers covering the whole range of human emotions from abject pain to wondrous joy. Time seems to take on a different aspect when you’re reading the Bible. Especially when you’re troubled.

It’s a safe harbor, a refuge.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Why do things happen? Huh?

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This post may not make much sense, but I’ll write it anyway.

Today has been so far, a lousy day. Details are unimportant. At any rate, in the past few years I’ve learned that everything happens for a reason, even though that reason may elude our attempts to discern it right away.

I think I am learning a lesson from today (a day which isn’t over yet.) That lesson is manifold but it relates to one consistent theme I’ve been taught in learning from events. That theme is that suffering (great or small) is necessary for our salvation. It is part of our Christian path that we must accept. It’s part of any decent Christian writing on the nature and necessity of suffering. No major discovery on my part. I’ve always felt that there was an additional reason for suffering. Perhaps dwell on it and discern from it a reason apart from basic acceptance of suffering. Maybe there is not always any reason apart from mere acceptance. Maybe there is, and we just may not find out the “why’s” right away. Or maybe we will and the answer may surprise us and we’ll be amazed at how God works things. Clearly we humans do not grasp the Big Picture and do not see how our suffering, whether it is a major thing or something that turns out to be minor fits into to God’s salvific plan for ourselves and for the rest of humanity. We don’t see all the interconnectedness between us and other people, be they acquaintances and total strangers. A solution may be right around the corner and we’ll feel stupid for having worried so much. Or be grateful.

I was teed off at God today, and yes I know He’s big enough to take it. But still it bordered on despair. Makes me wonder just how deep my faith actually is if I can bail over what may eventually turn out to be nothing. (I bet you’re just wondering what’s bugging me. HAH! Don’t even bother asking.) Anyhow, when times get tough, regardless of the severity, ranting and raving at God is OK, He understands, as long as in the end the despair is a false one, a temporary by-product of your human weakness. An Act of Contrition, said sincerely, along with the Serenity Prayer (which I just now remembered is available to say. DOH!) and you’ll get through. Oh, continue to rant and rave, but later you’ll be stronger for having kept your faith. Perhaps wondering if your faith is weak is akin to wondering if you’re crazy. If you have to ask, the answer is probably “no.”

Have a nice day. Even if it kills you. 🙂

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Trust Not in Ourselves but in God

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Today’s Office of Readings during Morning Prayer in the Liturgy of the Hours had this interesting passage from the beginning of Paul’s Second Letter to the Corinthians:

2 Cor 1:8-11

We do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction that came to us in the province of Asia; we were utterly weighed down beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life.
Indeed, we had accepted within ourselves the sentence of death, that we might trust not in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.
He rescued us from such great danger of death, and he will continue to rescue us; in him we have put our hope (that) he will also rescue us again,
as you help us with prayer, so that thanks may be given by many on our behalf for the gift granted us through the prayers of many.

The thing that struck me was that this was Paul talking, he and whomever was traveling with him preaching the Good News in Asia (what is now modern-day Turkey) had been enduring suffering and persecution almost beyond their endurance. They didn’t break, but survived whatever it was they were being subjected to.

Yes, they didn’t break, they trusted in God to deliver them from their peril and He rescued them. Paul also credits the prayers of others, probably the Corinthians he was writing to. Another thing to think about. We are a community, we pray for each other.

Remember this next time you feel that as a Christian you feel you should be secure from worldly attacks. If anything, being a Christian (especially a Catholic one) may make you a special target of worldly attacks. Some Christians feel that due to their Christianity, they should be rewarded with health and wealth, and given special treatment by God. His Son didn’t receive any, His Apostles didn’t, neither should we.

Same in our sobriety. We will probably feel the temptation to drink or drug or whatever until the day we die. Keep trusting in God.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Snatched from the grave

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While praying the Liturgy of the Hours recently a line from a Psalm popped out at me and demanded attention:

Psalm 107:17-20

Some fell sick from their wicked ways, afflicted because of their sins
They loathed all manner of food; they were at the gates of death.
In their distress they cried to the LORD, who saved them in their peril,
Sent forth the word to heal them, snatched them from the grave.

I’m not sure as to the authoritative Church interpretation of this passage, but it struck me a pretty apt description of an alcoholic careening towards their bottom, and then asking for God’s help.

Our “wicked ways” are all the harm we have caused to happen to other people that we will clean up in the Steps and in our own conversion process within Catholicism.

“Loathe all manner of food”, well, I lost a ton of weight towards the end. I could barely stomach food. Said stomach couldn’t handle it, and besides, it minimized the effect of alcohol consumption.

We were all at the “gates of death”.

And most assuredly, even if we didn’t know it, in our “distress” we “cried to the Lord”, who indeed saved us from our peril. We wound up in AA or some alternative program of recovery, and I’d like to think you found this blog as a part of His response to you pleading.

His Word healed us, we were snatched from the grave.

Edited 24 July 2007. Left out “their sins” in Scriptural quote in original post. Ooops.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

More than you can handle

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Does God give you more than you can handle? Does it seem like you are burdened with “life” to the breaking point? Does God permit this to happen, that the trials and tribulations of daily living may seem beyond your ability to cope?

No.

While God permits evil to occur (so that good can be drawn out of it), He never allows us to become overburdened by troubles. He always gives us the graces needed to overcome whatever is befalling us. Whether or not we choose to accept and cooperate with that grace determines how well, or if, we survive. We still have free will and can reject God’s help.

From St. Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians:

1 Cor 10:13

No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.

It is my understanding that the above passage refers mainly to temptations, but I also feel that it refers to any trial.

To think that God intentionally loads up pain and suffering upon an individual implies a God with a serious personality disorder. It does not speak of a God who is kind and loving, a Father.

Moreover, no one is promised a life free of suffering. Even Paris Hilton went to jail. (!) The degree to which we accept suffering in our lives as a necessary component of our salvation is the degree to which we will be able to cope with whatever sorrow and sadness comes our way.

Sometimes it seems overwhelming. Sometimes it seems that God has abandoned us. I feel that way more often than not. But after a fashion I come around and realize that as a Christian I have no right to bemoan and bewail suffering. “Why me?” becomes “Why not me? Who am I that I can be above what Jesus Himself felt? Rejection, betrayal, aloneness, pain and agony?”

It is during these times that we gaze upon the crucifix, at the broken and bleeding body of Christ on the Cross and gain strength. It is not an easy task to meditate on, but the exercise is usually fruitful. Meaning, we gain from the attempt. Especially if we see our own suffering in perspective.

Burdens can be strengthening. If we survive this, we can beat the next thing more easily. We learn to rely upon a trust in God more. Therefore, we become closer to God. Through our pain and suffering we realize that we are being treated the way His own Son was treated. We may not be crucified in the sense of an Imperial Roman capital punishment, but we are crucified in other, smaller ways. But still painful, especially when we feel so alone.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Serenity Prayer

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At most (if not all) AA meetings the Serenity Prayer is recited. Below is a copy of the full version, usually just the first four lines are read at meetings, as the rest is overtly Christian:

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

The first four lines is the petition, the rest I think is the result of the petition and the willingness to abide by it. I perused this prayer today, and I focused on the “Enjoying one moment at a time” line. I am going through a depression at the moment, it is tied in with a physical ailment that refuses to go away, and this triggered various “woe is me” resentments and pity parties. There are few people to talk to as those I would unload on are going through worse Junes than the one I am in. So that compounds things. It’s all bottled up. Prayer isn’t much of a release. Saints have reported similar periods. Great!

But today I chanced upon a copy of the Serenity Prayer (Long Version). I’ve read the entire thing before, so it wasn’t new. But that “Enjoying one moment at a time” line stuck out. Especially as it’s immediately followed by the “Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace” recommendation. Huh?

We are expected to enjoy each moment at a time. If we live by this prayer’ petition, which can be a summation of just and fair dependence and submission to God’s will and His Providence, then the latter parts will be achievable. We will have serenity. There are things that we cannot change. This is humility and common sense. There are things we can change. So we do that, with God’s help if need be. And we request the wisdom to discern the difference, because as the arrogant or stupid humans that we are, we sometimes feel we can do the impossible and not do the necessary.

We enjoy each moment. Even if hardships lie on our path. Jesus suffered, and so who are we to shun it? We take it in stride, knowing it will pass. Accept it as a lesson or toughening for later. “This, too, shall pass” is an AA slogan. A good one. We accept the world as it is, knowing that eventually all will come out according to Divine Plan. Either in our own lives or the world about us. We do not stand idly by, spectating, but we change what we and not worry about the rest.

Has this made me snap out of my depression? Not really, but I managed to write this blogpost instead of mope.

I really wanted to take a drink today. I figured beer would be safe. I didn’t, but was tempted. The problems would still be around, made worse by knowing I drank after 5 years of sobriety, had I imbibed. But nothing substantive would be changed.

Maybe I had the wisdom to know the difference. Huh.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Guardian and protector

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For today’s Daily Wisdom Dose we turn to Proverbs 2:8;

Guarding the paths of justice, protecting the way of his pious ones.

This is a continuation of Proverbs 2:7 (look it up) and ensures that despite the trials and tribulations and turmoil of ordinary life, God will see us through them. It may be difficult, and often times it would seem if God is not there, as indeed it is hard to see Him when all is dark. But at those times when God seems furthest away, He is really quite close, hearing the prayers of our wounded heart and soul.

Think back as to how you were led out of the darkness of active alcoholism. When things seemed at their most despairing point, something happened to get you out of it. The circumstances are maybe unique to each individual, but you are here now reading this instead of drinking or dying.

An instrument of God’s grace helped you. You may not have been “pious”, but the piety of your scream for help was heard.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)