Category Archives: Suffering

Ash Wednesday 2020

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Today begins the spiritual discipline amongst Christians known as Lent. It is the liturgical season in which we increase and strengthen our desire to grow closer to Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ by prayer, fasting, and penance. It leads to Christ’s Passion, Death and Resurrection.

This season and November are the two biggest seasons here at Sober Catholic; both times remind us of our ultimate end and both times serve as opportunities to become more like Christ.

I urge you to take up your Catholic Bible and study the Gospels, especially the Passion narratives. The Letters of St. Paul are especially fruitful, too. But delve into the Gospels for in them you will find treasures beyond imagining. You will never exhaust

For daily meditations suggest praying the Daily Mass Readings, found online anywhere.

In the past I often blogged daily during Lent; I won’t this year but I do hope to blog more often than is typical.

Have a blessed and fruitful Lent, everyone.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Little Flower and the Story of Her Soul

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Today is a feast day for St. Therese of Lisieux, the “Little Flower” and Doctor of the Church (due to her doctrine of “The Little Way.”) I say “a feast day” as today’s is from the Ordinary Form Calendar; on the Extraordinary Form Calendar it is October 3rd.

One of the more significant books I’ve read, and one that is I believe essential to any sober Catholic, is her autobiography entitled “The Story of a Soul.” I admit to having had great difficulty in first reading it; it took me three tries before I finally “got into it” and completed it. I’ve read it once more since. I highly recommend the ICS Publications edition of the book, especially the “Study Edition.” The Study sections opens wide the vistas of her teachings by placing things in the context of her life and times and how we can bring her “Little Way” into our contemporary lives. This book, along with St. Maria Faustina Kowalska’s autobiography “Divine Mercy in My Soul,” are mystical classics and every Catholic should read them, study them and apply their teachings. I’ve already raved about St. Faustina’s Diary before and how important it can be a to sober Catholic, “The Story of a Soul” should be right next to it on your bookshelf.

Some key points I gleaned from my reading of the Study Edition of St. Therese’s autobiography and her spirituality, based on the almost legible notes I scribbled in the back of it:

  • Her zeal in receiving the Eucharist. I don’t remember at all the day I received First Holy Communion, nor the time preparing for it. For St. Therese, it was one of the singularly important Events (yes, capital “E”) in her childhood. She understood and knew that she was receiving her Saviour, all Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Him. If you ever get to feeling blasé about receiving Our Lord in the Eucharist, study her writings on her Holy Communion.
  • Next to receiving the Eucharist was her devotion to adoring Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. She found great solace in her solitude with Him.
  • Her zeal in studying the catechism. The catechism in her day was the Roman Catechism, or the Catechism of the Council of Trent. Perhaps she also had a children’s adaptation, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she read the primary catechism, at least after she entered the cloister. But her catechesis wasn’t just from a text such as a formal catechism; she also studied Sacred Scripture, especially the Letters of St. Paul (where she discovered her vocation). Books on the lives of the saints, especially her heroine, St. Joan of Arc, also formed her faith. The classic medieval book, “The Imitation of Christ” by Thomas a Kempis was important to her, so much so that she had it memorized. Stories are told in which her family would play a game; they would mention a Book, Chapter and Paragraph number to her, and Therese would correctly recite that selection. A pocket version of it was her constant companion.
  • The Church Triumphant. She found great solace also in communication through prayer with residents of her Heavenly Fatherland. Not just St. Joan of Arc and other saints she was attracted to, but also her mother, who died while Therese was a child, as well as her deceased siblings (her parents had several children who died in infancy.) She received signal graces from them all, signs her prayers were heard. Heaven was real to her, a destination that life on earth was just a means to get to. It was not some hopeful fantasy. (Although she was stricken with doubts about it near the end of her life.)
  • The book The End of the Present World and the Mysteries of the Future Life, by Father Charles Arminjon. A series of conferences or seminars given by that priest in France in 1881, the subject matter inspired a transformation in St. Therese, it “plunged my soul into a state of joy not of this earth.” Shortly afterwards she began her attempts to enter the cloister of Carmel in Lisieux. The book is available today in English. It is in print. I’ve read it. You should, too.
  • Along with all of the above, the autobiography is priceless in terms of her teachings on the value of suffering, poverty and humility, all of which are wrapped up in her “Little Way.” (There are countless websites and books that explain her doctrine of the “Little Way,” I will be writing a post on it very soon after this. I intend to post it on her ‘other’ feast day of October 3rd.)

St. Therese of Lisieux is a saint for all of us. She is “little,” not impressed with the importance of secular things, she was yet another little person that God selected to shame the proud. Her “Little Way,” essentially being humble and doing ordinary things with great love and kindness, and finding God in such ordinary duties and things, is the antidote crucially needed for civilization in theses times of pride, identity and such insanity. But for Catholics who are seeking a way to holiness and a sure path to God and Heaven, the Little Way of St. Therese is the means to our ultimate destiny. By it we can all become great saints. It is also a way for us to cope with the situations afflicting the Church (any of them).

Make her your own. She loves everyone, even you, regardless of what you think of yourself. More importantly, regardless of what others think of you. She will lead you to God and help you become a saint. It is not an impossible task and she shows the way. Her Little Way is merely the Gospel of Jesus applied to everyday life. God is Love, Jesus came to do the Will of His Father, and the Little Way is how each of us can achieve that in our daily activities.

 I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Enrollment in the “Knights at the Foot of the Cross

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Tomorrow, May 13th I will be officially enrolled in the “Knights at the Foot of the Cross.” What is that, you ask? Well…

“THE KNIGHTS AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS (KFC) is an outreach within the MI movement, comprised of Catholics afflicted by the cross of suffering – physical, spiritual or emotional. As MI members, KFCs consecrate themselves to Mary. As did Mary at the Cross of her Son, they also participate in “redemptive suffering” (also called sacrificial or reparational suffering). This means they offer some of their daily prayers and trials to Jesus and Mary, who apply these gifts where grace is needed most, such as to convert hearts and save souls, to make amends for the sins of others, and ultimately to bring about the reign of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.”

I have long been considering enrolling; having been a member of the M.I. since 7 Oct 2002, I’ve long had “a feeling” that with age will come eventual enrollment in the KFC. Most times I didn’t consider myself sufficiently “suffering” enough to enroll, but I’ve changed my mind. I am 56, and have considerable ailements that will only get worse as the years progress. Why not make the most of it and use those “aches and pains” (arthritis, bursitis, bone spurs/calcified deposits in my feet, onset of degenerative osteoarthritis in my left knee – makes nice snappy noises when I bend it, respiratory issues – asthma and I’m on overnight 02 – and as soon as my pulmonologist gets the insurance approval, I’ll be going for an overnight sleep study to see if I need a CPAP, and may as well include alcoholism. Yes, I’ve been sober for almost 17 years, but it’s still an emotional suffering) in redemptive and reparational suffering.

When you enroll in either the M.I. or KFC, you select a Marian feast day for the consecration. I picked May 13th as it’s the Memorial of Our Lady of Fatima. One prayer Our Lady taught the seers is:

Oh my Jesus,
it is for love of Thee,
in reparation for the offenses committed
against the Immaculate Heart of Mary,
and for the conversion of poor sinners.
Amen.

You say that prayer whenever you have to “offer up” something: be it a physical or mental pain, or anything that others are doing to you and so forth. In essence, all the daily trials and tribulations that go into forming the crosses we have to bear as Christians.

One of the unique aspects of Catholic Christianity is that it values suffering and finds meaning in it. Rather than something to shun and run away from or to “medicate” with drugs and alcohol, suffering has a value that is immense in the spiritual world. When we offer up our sufferings we participate in Christ’s salvific act on Calvary. To quote St. Paul in his letter to the Colossians:

Col 1:24 “For now I rejoice in my passion on your behalf, and I complete in my flesh the things that are lacking in the Passion of Christ, for the sake of his body, which is the Church.”

Courtesy: Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

So, I’ll be going to Mass tomorrow morning followed by an hour before the Blessed Sacrament (I’m picking up and Hour for someone who can’t be there.) and I’ll say my moring prayers there, including the Consecration Prayer of the KFC.

Knights at the Foot of the Cross Consecration Prayer
O IMMACULATA, queen of heaven and earth, health of the sick, and our most loving Mother, God has willed to entrust the entire order of mercy to you. You stood at the foot of the Cross, uniting your self with the sufferings of Jesus, and so you became for all the Church a model of compassion.

I, (name), a repentant sinner, cast myself at your feet, humbly imploring you to take me with all that I am and have, wholly to yourself as your possession and property. Please make of me, of all my powers of soul and body, of my daily sufferings and crosses, of my whole life, death and eternity, whatever most pleases you.

If it pleases you, use all that I am and have without reserve, wholly to accomplish what was said of you: “She will crush your head, and “You alone have destroyed all heresies in the whole world.” Through my prayers and sufferings, let me be a fit instrument in your immaculate and merciful hands for introducing and increasing your glory to the maximum in all the many strayed and indifferent souls, and thus help, to extend as far as possible the blessed kingdom of the most Sacred Heart of Jesus. For wherever you enter you obtain the grace of conversion and growth in holiness, since it is through your hands that all graces come to us from the most Sacred Heart of Jesus.

V. Allow me to praise you, 0 Sacred Virgin.

R. Give me strength against your enemies.

Prayer of KFC Consecration Daily Renewal Prayer
IMMACULATA, Mother of the Church, I renew my self-consecration to you as a “Knight at the Foot of the Cross.” I desire to magnify the Lord with you this day in a special way by offering you my sufferings. Joined with you in faith at the foot of Christ’s Cross, may I ever be an unselfish instrument for the spread of the Militia of the Immaculata movement and the growth of the Church. Amen.

0 MARY conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to you.

All Knight at the Foot of the Cross and Militia of the Immaculata information, including the KFC prayers are courtesy: Mititia of the Immaculata It takes you to the KFC page in the M.I. site; you can go off exploring from there. I also have a lot of links on the M.I. and St. Maximilian Kolbe along the sidebar.I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Multitudes of souls, crucified…

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Several months ago in this (rather popluar) post: A word on Suffering and Providence I had written: “All Christians are supposed to “take up our cross and follow Him.” Some people do this and grip their cross firmly, almost as if they were crucified to it. Others grip it but just hold onto it and cope. And still others drag it along resentfully behind them.”

And I said that “This is actually an image described by a saint in his or her writings; I’m wracking my brain but I can’t think of who it is. Perhaps the “Imitation of Christ?” “Divine Intimacy?” If I discover the source I’ll update the post. If any reader recognizes it, email me or post the info in a comment.”

Turns out it was neither the “Imitation of Christ” or  “Divine Intimacy.” Rather, it was in St. Faustina Kowalska’s diary, “Divine Mercy in My Soul.” I rediscovered it during a recent rereading of that text. (Buy it if you don’t already have it. Don’t just read it; study it.)

Found in paragraph 446, it goes (words in bold are Jesus’):

“Then I saw the Lord Jesus nailed to the cross. When He had hung on it for a while, I saw a multitude of souls crucified like Him. Then I saw a second multitude of souls, and a third. The second multitude were not nailed to [their] crosses, but were holding them firmly in their hands. The third were neither nailed to [their] crosses nor holding them firmly in their hands, but were dragging [their] crosses behind them and were discontent. Jesus then said to me, Do you see these souls? Those who are like Me in the pain and contempt they suffer will be like Me also in glory. And those who resemble Me less in pain and contempt will also bear less resemblance to Me in glory.

Among the crucified souls, the most numerous were those of the clergy. I also saw some crucified souls whom I knew, and this gave me great joy. Then Jesus said to me, In your meditation tomorrow, you shall think about what you have seen today. And immediately Jesus disappeared on me.”

So, there it is. I thought the rediscovery deserves a separate mention, although I will go and update the original.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A word on Suffering and Providence

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The year 2019 is three weeks old. It has not been a good year for me so far. I will not go into details apart from sufferings from bad weather and extended power outages, some trouble with family members that required the attention of police, and transportation issues. May as well toss in some health concerns while I’m at it.

My typical reaction has been a common and understandable one: “This year sucks already and I can’t wait for 2020.” Not a great way to begin a year, wishing it was already over.

However, through it all God’s Providence has shown itself. The Lord has carried us through all the “stuff” so far, and done so marvelously. In one issue He had helped us in a way I wouldn’t have bothered to script, thinking “It doesn’t happen that way.” (For a variety of reasons I won’t describe the issue.)

This all had me thinking. Especially as every time I think “This year sucks…” I get a feeling that I am being ungrateful. And so I thought about that.

Therefore I have tried to start thinking rather than regard 2019 as a Year of Hell and I Wish It Would Just End Already; I am instead going to start thinking that it might be a year in which God works His Divine Providence in my life (and perhaps my wife’s life and a few others’) in an awesome manner.

Perhaps that’s just “wishful thinking” to help me cope with a sucky year. 😉 But then again, we are supposed to have Faith. We are supposed to Trust in Jesus; have faith and confidence that He will show His Mercy and Love (and Justice) and will take care of our needs.

So that’s it: from now on I will just accept suffering as a way for God to show His Providence in my life. This is not new or original. It is a basic concept from the Gospel and Catholicism. All Christians are supposed to “take up our cross and follow Him.” Some people do this and grip their cross firmly, almost as if they were crucified to it. Others grip it but just hold onto it and cope. And still others drag it along resentfully behind them. (This is actually an image described by a saint in his or her writings; I’m wracking my brain but I can’t think of who it is. Perhaps the “Imitation of Christ?” “Divine Intimacy?” If I discover the source I’ll update the post. If any reader recognizes it, email me or post the info in a comment.)

UPDATE: Turns out it was neither the “Imitation of Christ” or “Divine Intimacy.” Rather, it was in St. Faustina Kowalska’s diary, “Divine Mercy in My Soul.” I rediscovered it during a recent rereading of that text. (Buy it if you don’t already have it. Don’t just read it; study it.)

Found in paragraph 446, it goes (words in bold are Jesus’):

“Then I saw the Lord Jesus nailed to the cross. When He had hung on it for a while, I saw a multitude of souls crucified like Him. Then I saw a second multitude of souls, and a third. The second multitude were not nailed to [their] crosses, but were holding them firmly in their hands. The third were neither nailed to [their] crosses nor holding them firmly in their hands, but were dragging [their] crosses behind them and were discontent. Jesus then said to me, Do you see these souls? Those who are like Me in the pain and contempt they suffer will be like Me also in glory. And those who resemble Me less in pain and contempt will also bear less resemblance to Me in glory.

Among the crucified souls, the most numerous were those of the clergy. I also saw some crucified souls whom I knew, and this gave me great joy. Then Jesus said to me, In your meditation tomorrow, you shall think about what you have seen today. And immediately Jesus disappeared on me.”

I wrote twice before on this: Just Enough and Crucible of FaithI have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Pope Leo XIII’s Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel

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To assist everyone in the daily Spiritual Warfare we will be facing, I am posting the text of the PRAYER TO SAINT MICHAEL THE ARCHANGEL:.

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

The prayer is an old one, dating back to the mid-1880s when Pope Leo XIII had a vision of a dialogue between Satan and God the Father after saying Mass. Aleteia has an excellent article on the history and background for the prayer.

I urge you to memorize the prayer and say it daily and anytime you feel stress, anger, tension and during any other times when you’re having difficulties as these are the occasions that demons take advantage of us as we’re not on our guard and we’re “off the beam.”. My wife and I say it together frequently throughout the day, especially in times of parting and when we retire for the night.

Tradition in Action has the original, full length version.I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

DON’T LEAVE JESUS BECAUSE OF JUDAS

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This post is difficult but it is a must-write. It is later than other current posts in the Catholic blogosphere on the crisis-scandal in the Church involving Bishops and priests and their evil sexual behavior with minors and seminarians (and probably with each other) going back decades, including cover-ups. Seems like every Catholic with a blog has posted on it. That is no matter. This is a mostly a personal blog, not a news/opinion piece and so I needn’t be “timely.” I won’t expound on the details, you’ve probably heard enough about them from other sources.

What this post as about is on how people will react to the crisis. Namely, “How can I remain a member of the Catholic Church after all of this?”

I won’t deny the difficulty. Although the thought had never crossed my mind about leaving the Church that Jesus Christ Himself founded, I am aware that the faith of many has been shaken,

This bothers me for a number of reasons; for to me, when a person leaves the Catholic Church, it is often because they are unaware of what they are leaving. If you truly understood what the Church is, you would never, ever, consider leaving. No matter what this Pope or that Bishop or those priests have done.

I understand that staying may be hard, especially if you’ve been hurt by the Church (whether by sexual abuse or some other manner.) We are all human and have our limits of pain tolerance. Sometimes you do need to leave something for a while, especially if you were betrayed or hurt in some fundamental way.

But where would you go? Do other churches have what the Catholic Church has: all Seven Sacraments instituted by Christ? Were those churches founded by Him, or by mere humans? How could those churches “feed” you? While Jesus may be “spiritually present” (“whenever 2 or 3 are gathered in My Name, there I am…”), He is not physically present in them, like He is in the Eucharist. Can their ministers absolve you of your sins?

As I said a few paragraphs above, I understand and can appreciate why people might leave. Sometimes we get frustrated beyond a point that can be tolerated. “Don’t the Bishops understand? Don’t they get it?” we scream. And in our hurt and rage and pain we walk.

But to do that means leaving Jesus because of Judas. Jesus Christ is really, truly present in the Catholic Church. His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity is Really Present in the Eucharist; He established the Church when He gave the Keys of the Kingdom to Peter and the power of binding and loosing to him and the other Apostles. And He promised that He will be with Her until the end, adding a guarantee that the “gates of Hell” will “never prevail.”

Another analogy is those disciples of Christ who left Him after the Bread of Life discourse in John 6. His teachings on His Body and Blood were “too hard,” and so they left. Where else would they go? Who else has the words of eternal life?

Same for His Church. Who else was entrusted with safeguarding His teachings as well as those of the Apostles?

All of that sounds nice and wonderful and so on, but it might seem too abstract and academic and not nuts and bolts everyday ‘real.’ Fine. But understand that those in the hierarchy and priesthood who have committed these sins are like Judas the Traitor. Don’t let him determine which church you belong to.

Would you really leave the Catholic Church because of these Judases? What about the other members of the Church, those in the Church Triumphant? They were members also: the Church Fathers and Doctors, other great and holy Saints, the good Popes and so on. Their example is to be outweighed by the Judases?

But, you say, “What about the scandals? The corruption?”

Yes, what about them?

I can be trite and say that no other church is perfect; that all churches have their share of corruption and scandal. The Catholic Church is no different; but here’s the challenging fact: there has never been a time in Her history when the Church hasn’t been riven with some form of scandal or corruption.

“What?” says you. “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

Well, yes, in a way. In a weird sense it’s proof of the Church’s divine origins; for while the Church has had heresies and corruption and scandals and schisms and all other sorts of things afflicting it that would make a mere human organization collapse into a footnote in some history textbook, the Catholic Church is still here. Throw in wars, rebellions, revolutions and plague, while we’re at it! (And oftentimes lousy leadership!) The Catholic Church has survived Her own history, a history that would have destroyed any other organization. The fact that it is divine in Her origins helps make up for Her human composition.

You know, humans, creatures of a Fallen nature, prone to sin and evil.

Like you. Like me.

Those that are in the Church and are guilty of the crimes reported are followers of Judas. They will go to their own reward unless they repent. And speaking of who else dwells in the place of that particular reward, the scandals and corruption seem to me proof that Satan himself knows which Church is the One True Faith, for it would be that very Church which would suffer the most targeted and evil demonic attacks. (More on that in a follow-up post; this won’t be the only piece I write on this.)

Seriously think about it if you have left or are considering leaving. Pray long and hard. In fact, if you can, go and visit the Blessed Sacrament. Many churches have hours of Eucharistic Adoration; if not, go to a church after a Mass and just pray before the Blessed Sacrament reposed in the sanctuary.

See what answers you get. Oh, and can you do that in another church?

To repeat: I get the pain, the rage, and the betrayal. I understand the attractiveness of leaving. But allowing yourself to be influenced by the deeds of a sinful group of men and and having that outweigh the wealth of the Church’s history in the Communion of Saints, Her Sacraments… and the Presence of Jesus… I don’t know. I wouldn’t. Perhaps depart for a while, maybe. But then the temptation to stay away would only grow.

I said in the first sentence that this post is a “must-write.” When you consider that I began Sober Catholic in 2007 in part to help stem the loss of Catholics to other churches due to their exposure to indifferentism in Twelve Step meetings; yeah, I had to write it!

DISCLAIMER: I have never been abused by anyone in the Church. Nor has any parish that I was a member of ever been closed by the Bishop due to priestly shortages and changed demographics. So, you can say it’s easy for me to remain faithful. It is incorrect to state that I haven’t been hurt by the scandals. I see a Church hierarchy “out-of-touch” with the laity. (Perhaps there needs to be more dioceses to reduce the population in each, thereby making the Bishops “closer” to the people. I do not see this happening, at all.) But I do “get it” regarding the attractiveness of leaving. But I beg you to seriously think about it. It is not a light decision; your immortal soul depends upon it.

Comments are closed; attempts to get around that by commenting on other posts will get those comments deleted.I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

On scandal

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Not that anyone cares or is curious about what I think concerning the current scandal devastating the Church, but this is just a short note to say that I am composing a post on it. It is difficult, and it is addressed primarily to those who are considering leaving it (or who have already left.) There has been a lot of noise, good and bad and so forth. I want to get my post “just right.”

It should be out soon.I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The bruised reed

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One of my favorite passages in Scripture popped up today in the First Reading for the Mass for Monday of Holy Week: Isaiah 42:3 “The bruised reed he will not break, and the smoldering wick he will not extinguish.”

Courtesy: Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

We alcoholics are bruised reeds, and remain so long after recovery. I don’t ever think we achieve the same level of “normality” that people not afflicted with addiction possess. I think that along the way, as we make our decisions, we have to constantly consider factors that “normals” don’t. Why? Because almost any person, place or thing can lead us back into the drink if we’re not vigilant and maintain our daily reprieve.

Perhaps that is why I like the passage; it reminds me that as I trudge the road towards my true home I will not be overwhelmed by things to great for me to handle. Oftentimes the opposite seems true, but then faith takes hold, the still, small voice of God whispers quietly, “Easy, I am here.”

Another post on this: Bruised reeds…I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Forgiveness and the Adversary

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The concept of “forgiveness” has been on my mind recently, especially after this post. Obviously it is something that I’ve struggled with. The following comprises a summation of my recent internal debates.

OK, forgiveness… what does that mean? In the context of this blog, it will be in connection with the Catholic Faith. And thus we think of “Confession.” So, what takes place then? We go to Confession to confess our sins to a priest who, acting in the power vested in him by the Church absolves us of our sins. God forgives us and absolves us through the office of the priest.

So, the slate is wiped clean. We had offended God in some manner; we have abused our natural gifts in a way contrary to God’s will and intentions and we caused a disruption in our relationship with Him. A deadly rupture if the sins were mortal, less so if venial. In utilizing the Sacrament of Confession the wounds are healed and we move on in our relationship with God.

How does this apply to relationships with humans? Someone hurts me, I am wounded and the relationship suffers. How much depends on the extent of the offense. If little, it is easy to forgive; if not, forgiveness takes some effort.

Is the slate wiped clean? Perhaps. If the offense is great and the wound is deep, I interpret forgiveness to mean that I put the hurt and pain behind me, it is back there and I no longer dwell on it and nurture a resentment. I no longer ask “Why did it happen?” or seek any answers. If the action is recalled, the pain may return but I can dismiss it (with varying degrees of success dependent upon my state of mind.)

Forgiveness doesn’t imply reconciliation will follow; ideally it should as that would mirror our relationship with God and that is the model we seek in our dealings with others. However, other people are not God and thus reconciliation may not follow. In fact, oftentimes it shouldn’t if the protagonist has not repented and atoned for their offense.

OK. So we have established that forgiveness means the event is “back there,” and not emotionally connected to the present. You do not nurture the hurt by resenting the action. You no longer want to know “Why?” You no longer seek answers. Forgiveness has been made; if possible directly with the individual(s) so the relationship can be patched up or just unilaterally if you cannot deal with the other.

The problem I was having is that I thought that “forgiveness” didn’t “take hold” if the hurt keeps coming back. Perhaps it is natural for memories of the hurt to resurface from time to time. Much depends upon our ability to exercise self-control and discipline over our thought-life, but even then we are only human and if the pain was really deep it may never go away. I am referring to pain that was so intense that you yearned for death to end it and therefore contemplated suicide.

Nevertheless, perhaps the act of forgiveness needs to be done again. In some way, either by prayer and meditation, you contemplate the event and just turn it over to God. Let it become subject to His Justice and Mercy and try to leave it there. Praying to the Blessed Virgin and entrusting the whole matter to her is a part of this; Mary is our tender Mother and understands sorrow all too well.

And then another thought came to me: that recurring memories of a past hurt may just be intrusions of Satan into our inner life. The Adversary is observant; It knows very well what has hurt us. Perhaps It had even been the instrument behind the other peoples’ hurting of us. Satan does not want us to make progress spiritually; It desires our continued dwelling in the World and our adoption of the Worlds’ morals and ethics (which are clearly NOT conducive to getting you to Heaven). And so It oppresses us. Satan knows our weaknesses and propagates them as often as It can. If It is aware that a past hurt can distract us and weaken our path towards God, then who’s to say that Satan isn’t sometimes behind the development of resentments? That obsessing about a past event and having strong feelings about the whole matter isn’t Its way of causing us more harm to our souls? Imagining confrontations with the perpetrators and “getting even” in some way?

Whether it is demonic oppression (as distinct from demonic possession) or something less grave may not matter. It just means that we have more work to do in trusting in God’s Providence and Mercy. By ourselves we can do nothing; as they say in Twelve Step movements, “Let Go and Let God” so that He can establish His peace in our lives.I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)