Category Archives: Suffering

The wounded prodigal

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Today’s Gospel Reading for the Saturday of the Second Week of Lent is a popular one involving mercy and forgiveness. It is the story of “The Prodigal Son.”

I wrote about it before: Prodigal Alcoholics.

In that post I focused on mercy and forgiveness. There is also another point: the longing to belong and rejoin what you once had, even if in a more humble state. The Prodigal was intent on just being a hired hand for his father; he never expected to be readmitted to the family. Perhaps this is what we all hope for in our recovery: that our families and employers would just “forget” our sins and problems and move forward in life with us, just happy that we’re back and healthy. This does not always happen. Perhaps for some, and even then probably over time. We all mess up and wish for a “do over,” like nothing ever happened. This is not realistic, as our addiction did happen. Since God has this knack for bringing good out of evil, we can use this to our advantage. Use the experience of our addiction and recovery and help others in some way. Perhaps not by starting a blog about recovery process 😉 but at least by using the humbling experience of our own suffering to be understanding of others’ suffering and “screwed-upness.” We who were screwed up can have empathy towards others. We should be better able to connect and understand other people’s brokenness and wounded nature.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

How devoted you are

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The First Reading from today’s Mass for the Second Sunday of Lent is the well-known one concerning Abraham being asked by God to offer up his first born son Isaac as a sacrifice, only to be prevented from doing so by an angel of the Lord. It as a test of Abraham’s faith.

In the homily at the Mass I attended this weekend the priest mentioned that Abraham was asked to give up the one thing he most loved in the world. Abraham and his wife Sarah were barren and didn’t have Isaac until very late in life, not until the Lord intervened miraculously. So being asked by God to sacrifice the one thing you desired most in the world was a serious test of fidelity to God.

The thought occurred to me while I sat in the pew; “This would make a good Sober Catholic post.”

And so here it is.

Question: what would you do if God asked you? If the Lord God Almighty asked you to give up something really important to you? Since this is for the most part a blog on Catholic spirituality regarding addiction recovery (or at least my perspective on it), think along those terms. Especially if that something is a character defect or some other thing blocking your sobriety or recovery. (The question is rhetorical, you needn’t post your answer in the comments. Just think about it.)

I am reminded of a person who had engaged in email correspondence with me a few years ago; his wife left him over his drinking, took their daughter with her. All he had to do was go to a treatment center to get them back. He refused. He felt he could stop drinking on his own, despite zero evidence of his ability to do that. Pride got in his way; he rejected the humiliation of checking into treatment. And so his family suffered. The correspondence ended about then; one thing I wanted to tell him was “Men do what they need to do, boys do what they want to do.”

He was being asked to give up his pride and drinking for his family; he didn’t want to. I have no idea what their situation is today, perhaps he hit bottom and dragged his arse into treatment. Or perhaps he wound up in Divorce Court.

This situation isn’t unique; the scenario is probably one of the more common ones, that of one spouse or family member preferring the bottle to the family.

Nevertheless… that one thing he had to do…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Repent, and believe in the gospel

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At the close of yesterday’s Gospel reading for the First Sunday of Lent, Jesus proclaims: (Mark 1:15)

“For the time has been fulfilled and the kingdom of God has drawn near. Repent and believe in the Gospel.”

Courtesy: Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

Repent means to be sorrowful of your sins and make a change of heart; you were a certain way and now you will change. The Gospel, as you should know, is the “Good News” of Jesus, that He is the “Way, the Truth and the Life,” and no one else is.

Lent is the time when do this, from the penitential practices that we adopt, the devotions we undertake, sacraments we participate in and the overall increased focus on who we are in relation to Jesus.

We use this time to transform ourselves into Christ. The Blessed Virgin Mary was the best at doing this; observing and being with Him all His life, she was His greatest disciple. Grab a Rosary and ask her to lead you to Him.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

All things work for good…

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There is a very reassuring passage from the Second Reading in today’s Mass for the Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time: Romans 8:28 “We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”

(Courtesy The Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version)

Reassuring inasmuch as it helps us to understand that regardless of what we are going through, there may be value to it. Suffering can be “offered up” in reparation for ours’ and others’ sins… we can use it to grow closer to God as that frequently is the reason for it. Suffering detaches us from the world as we can see that the means by which the world uses to allay suffering can often be destructive. If suffering is material or economic in nature it can encourage us to adapt to a more frugal and simple lifestyle; again, detaching us from the rampant materialism and consumerism that spawns greed and envy. We come to rely on Divine Providence.

At any rate, convinced that “all things work for good” helps us to become aware that eventually “it will get better,” that despite whatever our current situation is if we just keep our “eyes on the prize” we will get through it.

And we “who are called according to his purpose;” what purpose could that be but to hold onto our sobriety and recover the life we are supposed to lead?

So, keep on Trudgin’ the Road of Happy Destiny and know… it does get better. We just have to learn not to look at things the way the world does.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

All things work together unto good

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The following quote from St. Paul’s Letter to the Romans has appeared quite frequently in recent days in my Facebook feed and this morning in my daily reading from The Imitation of Christ (Book III, Ch. 59 No. 2):

Romans 8:28

And we know that, for those who love God, all things work together unto good, for those who, in accordance with his purpose, are called to be saints.

Source: Romans – Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible

God must be trying to tell me something. Perhaps for you, as well. We are all called to be saints, and although such a prospect seemed distant, even laughable during the practice of our addictions, nevertheless it is true. We were not called to be damned, but to reign with God in Heaven.

If we properly respond to God’s grace, even the bad we have done during our addictive life will work out for our good. At the very least we should be more humble and solicitous of others’ problems. Or at least try.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Spiritual alchemy II

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This is a sequel to the post Spiritual Alchemy.

There is another benefit to what I said then: I quoted from St. Paul’s First Letter to the Christians of Corinth. In “making up” for what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ, in accepting our sufferings we can add to the tremendous storehouse of graces available to others.

1 Corinthians 2:26 “And so, if one part suffers anything, all the parts suffer with it. Or, if one part finds glory, all the parts rejoice with it.”

Scripture quotes courtesy: Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

“All the parts” of the Body get this when we offer up our sufferings or glories in prayer like this:

O Jesus, through the immaculate heart of Mary, I offer you my prayers, works, joys and sufferings of this day in union with the holy sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world. I offer them for all the intentions of your sacred heart: the salvation of souls, reparation for sin, the reunion of all Christians. I offer them for the intentions of our bishops and of all the apostles of prayer, and in particular for those recommended by our Holy Father this month.

That’s a traditional Catholic “Daily Offering” prayer. There are many like it, some longer, others shorter. You can make up your own; all that is needed is a sincere offering up to the Lord whatever the day brings, good or bad, for Him to use as He sees fit for the Mystical Body.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Spiritual alchemy

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The word “alchemy” is defined by my dictionary software as:

“-An imaginary art which aimed to transmute the baser metals
into gold, to find the panacea, or universal remedy for
diseases, etc. It led the way to modern chemistry.
[1913 Webster]

– Miraculous power of transmuting something common into
something precious.
[1913 Webster]”

In other words, something is transformed from a lesser into a more valuable thing.

As a part of my Lenten practices, I have been meditating on the nature of suffering and what it means. Mostly, on how to cope with it. For as Christians, we are called to accept sufferings, not reject them or escape from them. By accepting them, we unite ourselves to the Cross of Christ and as St. Paul says in 1 Cor 24: “For now I rejoice in my passion on your behalf, and I complete in my flesh the things that are lacking in the Passion of Christ, for the sake of his body, which is the Church.”

Not that there is anything deficient in Christ’s passion and death, but as members of His Mystical Body (The Church) our sufferings are united to His.

And so I finally get around to the word “alchemy.” In the art of transforming something that is a lesser into something that is a greater, we can see how we can transform suffering into a good. We typically consider suffering to be “bad,” but that is a worldly opinion. But we can use it anyway, here.

The key step in the spiritual alchemy process is love. Specifically, our love for Jesus. If we love Jesus, then we will accept our sufferings for the love of Him.

Matthew 16:24 “Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘If anyone is willing to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.'”

If you love someone, you sacrifice for them. Our sacrifices are our daily crosses, be they little or great. We offer them up to the Lord.

This was the “Way of Matt Talbot,” he transferred his love for the drink onto Jesus. He suffered the loss of his crutch, alcohol, but used that suffering to increase his love for Christ, since it was for Jesus that he suffered. Matt knew that Jesus is the “Way, the Truth and the Life,” and thus he accepted sobriety as his path to Jesus.

The offering up of one’s suffering to Jesus is the mean by which we transform the pain of the suffering into a good. As Christ suffered for love of us, we return that by suffering for love of Him.

It is also the “Little Way” of St. Therese of Lisieux. Doing little things for the love of Jesus and others, accepting sufferings as an expression of love for Him who suffered and died for us.

I have a pain, a suffering, doesn’t matter what it is specifically. I can either bemoan it, drink over it, endure it grumpily, or say “Jesus, this pain is afflicting me; I offer it up to you so that I can join you on the Cross. For love of you I accept this pain.” The pain is then transformed by your love into some incredible spiritual benefits, namely God flooding you with graces.

Graces are the free, undeserved and unmerited blessings or spiritual assistance God gives you. They are “undeserved” or are “unmerited” because God isn’t obligated to give them to you; for when you offer something “in love,” you do so without expecting anything in return.

You may not feel better right away, you may not sense anything. It doesn’t work that way. But you might be given endurance and fortitude; the abilities to “get through” the trials better.

He may not return your gift right away, He may allow the suffering to continue for a period. This isn’t cruelty, it is the consequence of our Fallen Nature and Fallen World. Suffering is a part of life and it continues… However, faithfully enduring suffering even when you do not think that you are “getting anything in return” still increases your dependence on God, for you know, in Faith, you love Him and need Him and will do so anyway, even if there is no immediate benefit. True love knows no boundaries, you will do anything for the One that you love. While things happen in God’s time and not ours, the fortitude and endurance, if not outright cessation of the suffering, or consolations of a spiritual nature will eventually manifest themselves. For God is a loving Father who knows what is best for us and does provide for our needs (rarely our wants.)

Matthew 7:11 “Therefore, if you, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your sons, how much more will your Father, who is in heaven, give good things to those who ask him?”

In not using suffering this way, it just remains an unbearable pain that causes us to seek relief in ways not always good for us. We seek relief in alcohol, drugs, illicit sex, abortion, euthanasia, whatever it is that can “eliminate the problem.”

But in seeing it as a way of proving our love for Christ, (if not in proving it to Him, but in bearing witness to others), suddenly it has value. It is a “lesser,” (something undesired) that is transformed by a process of spiritual alchemy into something of great value.

What greater value can there be by becoming more like unto Christ? The possibility of this helping us gain Heaven?

Perhaps…

Scripture quotes courtesy: Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Take up the cross, and follow me

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The Gospel reading for today’s Mass for the Friday of the Sixth Week in Ordinary Time is an appropriate one for a Friday, given the day’s significance as the day Jesus suffered and died.

Mark 8:34-37 “And calling together the crowd with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone chooses to follow me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

For whoever will have chosen to save his life, will lose it. But whoever will have lost his life, for my sake and for the Gospel, shall save it. For how does it benefit a man, if he gains the whole world, and yet causes harm to his soul?

Or, what will a man give in exchange for his soul?”

(Via Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version)

A key line in the Gospel excerpt, “If anyone chooses to follow me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” is the crux of recovery with a Catholic perspective. In drinking and drugging, or even just making daily choices and preferring our will to His, we refuse the Cross.

Taking up the Cross is in opposition to our own selfish desires as expressed in our self-will. Our instinct for self-preservation insists that we pick “self” first; the pain of the Cross goes against this. And part of the “contradiction of the Cross” is that we reject the self, we “deny ourselves” in order to be saved. In denying ourselves, we have to trust in Jesus.

And so we make a choice. We choose to follow Jesus, “The Way, the Truth and the Life,” deny ourselves and reject addiction. This becomes a cross as we naturally suffer without our addiction. (That we were suffering with it is obvious, but we typically focus on how it “helped” us cope.) We are denying our preferences, our “crutches” and our need to fulfill our base desires. Our mind and body scream, “Give us the drink!” But we reply, “No.”

And so we follow Him: Jesus Christ, the Divine Physician. In choosing to save our life through Christ, we lose the old one. It was nailed to the Cross. We live now by the Gospel and if we persevere to the End will find ourselves reigning with Him and the saints for all eternity.

There is a trade-off. In keeping our addictions, we “gain the world,” or at least our fantasized version of it. But we lose our soul. We do not become the person God made us to be. That one is buried in the addiction. The other trade-off is clear: giving up the addiction we recover who we were meant to be.

This better “trade-off,” that of denying yourself and becoming a disciple of Christ, is essentially the method Matt Talbot chose. If you are a regular reader of SoberCatholic, you know who he is. If not, a short bio tells that he was an Irish drunk who tried several times to become sober after running out of money to buy himself liquor. His friends, for whom he loaned money for booze in the past, didn’t help him. Shocked at this betrayal of alcoholic solidarity and brotherhood Matt tried the “pledge” which worked for a while. He found continued sobriety only after he transferred his love for the drink onto Jesus. Matt lived a life of piety and devotion. He died sober. His Cause for Canonization is open and they’re just waiting on the requisite miracles. There are links in the sidebar to help you learn more; the best one is The Venerable Matt Talbot Resource Center.

Matt gave up the drink in exchange for his soul.

What will you give in exchange for your soul? That’s a daunting question. And not an easy one to answer for most people. It is the question that starts the conversion process. Even if you were not consciously aware of it, when you began your conversion process upon attaining sobriety you started to answer that question. And you continue to answer it every day you are sober and continue to learn and live your Catholic Faith.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Spiritual prepping for Fatima and 2017 UPDATED (AGAIN!)

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NOTE: Post updated AGAIN with a corrected link and additional items.

Calling Catholic men (and ladies, too!)

Fr. Richard Heilman of the Roman Catholic Man site has a challenge for you!

Quote: “Inspired by the excellent program, “Exodus 90,” and all of the research that reveals it takes 90 days to replace bad habits (even addictions) with good habits, I am calling upon all of us to enter into a 90 day period of humility and transformation I call “Nineveh 90,” leading up to the 100th Anniversary of Our Lady of Fatima on May 13, 2017.

Nineveh 90 is all about freedom. The goal is to achieve the freedom necessary to fully engage the love of God and the love of neighbor. Nineveh 90 is based on a challenging 90-day period of purification, a dying to self, which is supported by fellow soldiers in Christ for greater interior freedom and, eventually, a more purified and selfless love.”

Found here: Nineveh90 and the 100th Anniversary of Fatima

UPDATE: The plan now has its own site, see Nineveh90

The challenge begins February 13, 2017. I am considering doing this, with some personal modifications. I already do a number of the things listed. I may not bother with Items 9 and 10 (33 Days prep for Consecration and the actual Consecration) as I’ve already done that with my wife in 2008; also, I’m a member of the Militia of the Immaculata of St. Maximilian Kolbe, through which I consecrated myself to Mary on 7 Oct 2002. As an MI I renew my consecration daily, so I think that’s covered. I can perhaps substitute something else, such as studying St. Max’s writings and MI literature or Fatima books (both of which I have oodles of). I probably won’t do Item 5 (joining the Angelic Warfare Confraternity) as I may not be able to fulfill some of the requirements (logistics).

The basis for this lies in Fr. Heilman’s first paragraph: “We have now entered the 100th year since Our Lady appeared in Fatima, Portugal. The anniversary is May 13, 2017. Many people are wondering if God may do (or allow) something soon to “shake us up” (I wrote about it HERE – this is the most “shared” article I have ever written).”

Please read the article linked to with the word “HERE” in the previous paragraph. That explains more about the basis for this challenge and the need to become “Spiritual Preppers” soon. I’ve also hinted at year’s end that 2017 might be “interesting.” The roots of Western Civilization are becoming poisoned, the branches are cracking and things might becoming rougher for Christians, especially Catholics. This “Nineveh90” just might assist with your prepping…

Speaking of “prepping,” there’s this: PREPARING FOR NINEVEH 90.

Additional note, Fr. Heilman named St. Maximilian Kolbe as the patron saint of the Nineveh90! See: ST. MAXIMILIAN KOLBE – PATRON OF LAST DAYS BEFORE 100TH ANNIVERSARY OF FATIMA

There are additional posts at both the Nineveh90 and Roman Catholic Man sites
on the effort. Read them! Keep informed!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Maximilian Kolbe: martyr, patron of addicts, died 75 years ago today

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NOTE: This is an edited version of a post previously published to “Paul Sofranko’s Blog”

St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe was executed in the Nazi German concentration camp at Auschwitz seventy-five years ago today for being a Catholic priest.

He was a Conventual Franciscan friar and Guardian (leader, administrator) of Niepokalanow, then the world’s largest friary and a major Catholic media center. It is located some distance west of Warsaw, Poland.

He was canonized a saint by the Church in October 1982.

In late July 1941 a prisoner escaped and as was Nazi policy, ten men from that cell block were randomly selected to be sentenced to a starvation bunker until the escapee was found (dead or alive.) In reality, the ten condemned wouldn’t be released at all, regardless of the escapee’s status.

Death by starvation and dehydration is a very slow and very painful way to die. The ten were stripped naked and placed in a cell that measured three meters by three meters (that about 9 feet on a side.)

One of the ten was a Polish Army sergeant by the name of Franciszek Gajowniczek, who, upon being selected, wailed that he was a husband and father and bemoaned the fate of his family. Upon hearing this, Fr. Kolbe stepped out of line, went forward to the commander and offered to take the sergeant’s place.

The Nazi officer was duly astounded. Perhaps taken aback and confused by this act of selfless sacrifice, he accepted Kolbe’s offer and the Gajowniczek was excused. He survived the war.

Over the course of the next few weeks, the ten died, one-by-one. Every day an attendant would go into the cell to retrieve the dead.

Prison guards and camp survivors reported that while there would typically be sounds or rage and anger, of wailing and crying and begging, during the two weeks that Fr. Kolbe was imprisoned in the cell with the others, the sounds were quite different. Hymns were sung. Rosaries said. It was as if Fr. Kolbe had turned the bunker into a chapel. On August 14th, seeing that he was still alive, the Nazis got impatient that he wasn’t dying fast enough and had him injected with carbolic acid. For this reason, he is considered a patron saint of addicts.

When he volunteered to take the sergeant’s place, the Nazi asked Fr. Kolbe who he was. His answer?

“I am a Catholic priest.”

This was his identity, it was who he was. He died for being a priest; he died being a priest, ministering to his fellow condemned.

Week48IAmACatholicPriest

(Image via MI Canada)

Being a priest was enough to have him targeted by the Nazis; however there was more to him than that. For nearly twenty years he published “Knight of the Immaculata,” a monthly magazine dedicated to being the voice of the Militia of the Immaculata movement he founded in 1917 (more on that, later.) This publishing venture, begun in 1922, gradually expanded over the 1920s and ‘30s to include other periodicals and a daily newspaper. Circulation was amongst the largest in pre-WW2 Poland (and significant amongst global circulations, too.) Fr. Kolbe had already launched a shortwave radio station, although it was limited at first to just being on the Amateur bands. He also had plans for a TV station. Expansion of the radio station to non-amateur broadcasting and the TV enterprise were halted by the Nazi and Soviet invasion of September 1939. Fr. Kolbe also had plans for a motion picture studio.

He was “New Evangelization” before anyone else thought of it. If you wish to get the gist of what he did and also what he planned, what Mother Angelica did in Alabama 50 years later is essentially that.

I have also blogged about him before, numerous times (he has become my favorite saint.) Read more of my stuff about him here: St. Maximilian Kolbe post archives.

There is a special group of links for St. Maximilian Kolbe and his Militia of the Immaculata in the sidebar.
But for starters:

Militia of the Immaculata in the USA
The global Militia
“Niepokalanow”
another official Niepokalanow site

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)