Category Archives: This Too Shall Pass

Walk in the dark valley

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The Responsorial Psalm for Monday of the Fifth Week of Lent is:

Even though I walk in the dark valley I fear no evil; for you are at my side.

via USCCB.

We have all been there, this stroll through the dark valley, when all is dark and we feel that there is no hope. We may have reached our “bottom,” that “jumping off place” where we know that if we continue drinking we will die, and if we don’t drink might be afraid to live and wish for death. Or we could be sober for quite a while but are feeling “thirsty” and we are unsure of how to get back on the beam.

We are not alone. The Lord is with us; He stands at the ready, able to help us if only we ask. If we nurture this relationship with Jesus, we shall “fear no evil,” for no threat about us can possibly discourage us from the path we are to tread.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Love Your Enemies

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In the Gospel Reading for Saturday of the First Week of Lent (I had meant to post this yesterday, but was having connectivity issues with the blog)

(Matthew 5:43-48),

Jesus said to his disciples:

“You have heard that it was said,

You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.

But I say to you, love your enemies,

and pray for those who persecute you,

that you may be children of your heavenly Father,

for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good,

and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.

For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have?

Do not the tax collectors do the same?

And if you greet your brothers and sisters only,

what is unusual about that?

Do not the pagans do the same?

So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

via USCCB.

This admonition by Jesus is a very difficult one for us alcoholics to muster the courage for. And yet I think it is essential for our long-term recovery. It is difficult indeed to “love your enemy,” but if we persist it hating “our enemies,” the festering resentments that this implies will only threaten our recovery.

It is hard. I have trouble mustering the courage to forgive those who have hurt me. I periodically go through forgiveness exercises and review my feelings towards people who have hurt me, and struggle to cut loose the emotional bonds to the hurt. It is one thing to pray and forgive them, another to no longer feel the pain they have caused. That, I think, is a sign that forgiveness has settled in, and that the power your “enemies” has over you is over. Your forgive, and you subsequently no longer replay the tapes in your head of the hurt. The bonds are cut and it is behind you. Whether you reconcile is another matter.

And so you go on. Although forgiveness is hard, it is neccessary. As long as you keep trying, chipping away at the bonds of resentment, hate and self-pity, you will make continued progess along the road of happy destiny.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Denying yourself and taking up the Cross

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An excerpt from the Gospel Reading for today’s Mass:

Luke 9:23-25: “Then he said to all, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?”

via USCCB.

Lent is a time of penance, of fasting from certain things and denying… the self? Are you using Lent as a means of denying your self-will, of choosing your will over God’s, in placing yourself above other people? Is God first, other people second, and yourself third on the list of priorities?

In the Gospel passage, Jesus lays down the conditions of discipleship. If you are to be a follower of Christ, you must place yourself at the service of others, serve them and their needs (to the best of your ability) and “take up the Cross.”

And what does that mean, to “take up the Cross?” As Jesus accepted the Cross on His way to Calvary, so to must we as we trudge along the road of happy destiny. The Cross symbolizes our willing acceptance of what it means to be Christian, as well as to accept and endure the daily trials and tribulations that come into our lives. We don’t shirk from them, we “offer them up” (donate spiritually) for our sins and those of others.

So, as you start Lent, take a look at how you are “denying yourself,” and how well you “take up the Cross.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Temptation and the Cross

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Often it has been suggested that we “offer it up” and unite our sufferings to that of Christ.

You know those temptations that you get? The ones about drinking or drugging again, or viewing online porn, or engaging in some impure act? The urge in general to do something sinful?

Those are Crosses. The feelings associated with them, such as enduring the urges and maintaining resistance to them, are painful. That is the weight of the Cross. As Christians we are called to “take up the Cross” if we are to be His disciples. Don’t succumb to relieve the weight. The Crosses are the badges that signify you are a disciple of Christ.

Bear the Cross, you aren’t alone in your suffering. Offer it up. Pray to Jesus for strength, ask Him to take the pain you are going through in resisting the temptation and enduring it and apply it as a intercessory prayer for your salvation or for others’.

Offer it up for all those who are still suffering from alcoholism, for those caught in sexual sin. For anyone in pain.

I think I’ve blogged about this relatively recently, but I felt the need to cover it again.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Walk With the Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots, Day 9

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Today is Day 9 and thus the final one in our Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots. We ask Mary’s intercession for “this knot in my life…You know very well the suffering it has caused me…”

So, what knot is it? Is it the same one you may have prayed about daily, or one of the more knotty ones from a particular day? (A rhetorical question, don’t post the knot in the comments!)

Ponder, meditate and offer up this knot for Mary to undo. Offer up all the pain, trauma and suffering it has brought into your life. Let Mary’s maternal love work its healing into you…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots

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As we close out the old year and await the new, we tend to reflect upon our life as it has transpired so far. We notice how messed up it can be. No matter how long we’ve been clean and sober, regardless of how serene we are: upon a closer examination we can often see that our life has messy parts. If fact, one can say that the messy parts are all knotted up. To assist my readers in cleaning up the mess and undoing the knots, I would like to introduce to you all the Novena of Mary, Undoer of Knots.

The devotion and accompanying novena are old. According to the Holy Rosary site:

“How this devotion started?

To show us the mission granted to the Virgin Mary by Her Son, an artist Johann Melchior Georg Schmittdner painted Mary Undoer of Knots with great grace. Since 1700, his painting has been venerated in the Church of St. Peter in Perlack, Augsburg, Germany. It was originally inspired by a meditation of Saint Irenaeus (Bishop of Lyon and martyred in 202) based on the parallel made by Saint Paul between Adam and Christ. Saint Irenaeus, in turn, made a comparison between Eve and Mary, saying:“Eve, by her disobedience, tied the knot of disgrace for the human race; whereas Mary, by her obedience, undid it”.

But what are these knots?

There are the problems and struggles we face for which we do not see any solution … knots of discord in your family, lack of understanding between parents and children, disrespect, violence, the knots of deep hurts between husband and wife, the absence of peace and joy at home. There are also the knots of anguish and despair of separated couples, the dissolution of the family, the knots of a drug addict son or daughter, sick or separated from home or God, knots of alcoholism, the practice of abortion, depression, unemployment, fear, solitude…Ah, the knots of our life! How they suffocate the soul, beat us down and betray the heart’s joy and separate us from God.”

As you can see from the above paragraph on what the knots are, this is a devotion and novena that can be extremely useful for people struggling with alcoholism, addiction and sobriety (their own, or others’. So maybe this can also be of help to members of Al-Anon and related family groups).

These are short excerpts from each day’s meditations, they give you an idea as to how relevant this Novena can be for you:

Day 1: this knot….and all the negative consequences that it provokes in my life…

Day 2: sins of egoism, pride, rancor and my lack of generosity and humility…

Day 3: this knot in my life…and all the rancor and resentment it has caused in me…

Day 4: this knot which robs the peace of my heart, paralyzes my soul and keeps me from going to my Lord and serving Him with my life…

Day 5: the bitterness, anger and hatred which this knot has caused me…

Day 6: persevere in the living word of Jesus, in the Eucharist, the Sacrament of Confession…

Day 7: free me from the snares of Evil…

Day 8: to practice the virtues of courage, joyfulness, humility and faith…

Day 9: this knot in my life…You know very well the suffering it has caused me…

So, pray it! It can be said at any time of the year, whenever you’re inspired or just feel the need. I figured that New Years’s Day can be a good time, especially as it is also the Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God. The following link contains the Opening and Closing Prayers and Daily Meditations: The Unfailing Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots. Although the above excerpts should help you in thinking about the intentions  you wish to pray for and offer up through the Blessed Virgin to Jesus, I would suggest that you read it over once before starting.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Hope and Perseverance

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In light of yesterday’s Giving Glory to God post, I’m dusting off a draft that is related to it.

“Hope and Perseverance,” are two things that I can at least grab onto as things I do not lack. Despite this or that excuse or circumstance or “whatever,” every night when I go to bed I think of what I have done and what I have failed to do, and when dwelling upon the latter, I resolve to do better.

Every night, every day.

The “amount” of hope and perseverance may vary at time. Often I just feel like saying “to heck with it,” but the feeling never lasts.

I think that if I wake up every morning, God is giving me another chance at setting right whatever I failed to do the previous day.

In a way, this is like the 12 Step slogan, “Never give up five minutes before the miracle occurs.” This is with regard to finally “getting” sobriety of the 12 Step Program, but I think it applies to other things that you are yearning for: Do not quit, never give up, keep on at least TRYING to do whatever it is that you think God placed you on this Earth for. Eventually things may sort themselves out and become clearer and you’ll see the path to where you’re going, if not the actual results.

Keep on keepin’ on, people.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

How Catholics can conquer depression

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I read an article in the Catholic Herald about How Catholics can conquer depression. I thought a particular line from it may be relevant to readers, whether or not you suffer from it:

“While the sacraments alone were never meant to cure mental afflictions like depression, they can and do play a healing role in a plan of recovery. The principle of ‘sacramentality’ in Catholic theology, based on the central Christian doctrine of the Incarnation, affirms that the material world can mediate spiritual realities. As creatures of both body and soul, we relate to God through our senses. If I’m burdened by guilt or by sins of the past (often the case in depressed persons), when I go to Confession I’m able, in a very tangible way, to hear words of absolution from the priest who is acting in the name of Christ and the Church.

Many people who have gone to Confession describe this powerful experience of psychological healing. They are able to walk out knowing with total conviction that they have indeed been forgiven, that the burden they’ve been carrying has been lifted. The Catholic sacramental system is indeed consistent with our psychological make-up: we need to hear these words of absolution in order to more tangibly experience God’s mercy. We also know that sin not only harms our relationship with God but with others as well. In Confession there is the experience a sense of reintegration with a community: the priest represents the Church, the community of Christians, with whom the penitent is reconciled. All this is powerfully healing, and lifts a burden spiritually and psychologically.”

Especially an excerpt from the first sentence: “While the sacraments alone were never meant to cure mental afflictions…” This may help to explain why many Catholics turn to the Church exclusively in their quest to conquer their addictions, and fail. Although the Sacraments are of a healing nature, it may be that they are healing along with other factors that must be undertaken. The forgiving nature of Confession will help in healing guilt and pain; and Communion may help us become closer to God and assist us in uniting our sufferings to His. Although there are many examples of how people have experienced miraculous cure after receiving Holy Communion,they are the exception rather that the rule.

So, although the Sacraments are healing, they may just provide a much needed spiritual and divine dimension to whatever else one is doing to address addiction. They also aid in recovery be helping us to reintegrate into the community. Not only do we need to be healed of our past, but also our relationships with others.

And in case anyone complains, yes, I know that addiction and depression are not the same. The causes of one may not at all be related to the other. But it is an interest of mine, and I know that many alcoholics also suffer from depression.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Growing in holiness during Lent

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Lent began today. Traditionally, people give up stuff for Lent as a sign of repentance. That’s nice but it may be a downer, especially if it isn’t combined with something that may help you grow in holiness. Giving up something to achieve something is tough. Ask an athlete, especially an Olympian or a champion.

Another option to giving up something is to take up something. Adding something to help you achieve something, like holiness, may be easier. Increase your virtue. This link: Virtues and Vices has a list of the seven deadly vices and the virtues that can help you overcome them.

Serve and volunteer.

Increase your prayer life. Read Sacred Scripture, daily. Attend Daily Mass, if possible. If not, then maybe catch it online at a more convenient time.

And then perhaps maybe someday you can deprive yourself of something, because with the increased holiness, you’re more apt to select a deprivation and combine it with growing in holiness. This can merit itself at other times of the year when you suffer, now you know better how to “offer it up.” 😉

Joel: 2:13:

“Rend your hearts, not your garments,

and return to the LORD, your God,

For he is gracious and merciful,

slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love,

and relenting in punishment.”

(Via USCCB.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Going outside to get outside

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I am taking advantage of some warm temperatures and am blogging from outside. It is near 60 degrees out, and despite being a wee bit chilly with the breeze, I am insistent upon staying outdoors with my MacBook and blogging.

I am basically saying this, that aside from being a little cabin-feverish from being inside all winter, and “enjoying” the outdoors only by rushing to the vehicles to go somewhere, or to get quickly back inside, I need to get outdoors for a bit to “get outside” myself. I think I have blogged on this theme before. The idea is that one cure for what ails you is to go outdoors. By going outdoors and into nature (or whatever passes for it where you are) you can escape for a while the narrow confines of the traps your minds sets for you. The stinkin’ thinkin’ that alcoholics and addicts find themselves in is not easily discarded. One good way is to immerse yourself in something greater than yourself.

I believe Pope Blessed John Paul II said somewhere that believers should go outside to meet God. In nature you find the Lord. He created it, and in His works you can find Him. This does not mean, of course, that you can dispense with Church. In Church (Catholic ones) He is truly really Present. But outdoors, in nature, He is spiritually there, and so you can connect with Him on a different level. Meeting Him in nature is like showing up at a friend’s house “as you are,” no need to get dressed up and be your best. (Although from the Masses I attend, people seem to take this attitude to Church.)

Going outside helps you to get outside of yourself. You get a shift in perspective. Hopefully, a perspective shift that causes a change in attitude.

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics — A SoberCatholic.com book

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)