Category Archives: Twelve Steps

Misfit

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Today I have been sober for 22 1/2 years. 

#sobrietyhumoralert But some time ago the thought occurred to me that as a writer, (I am one as I do write stuff) I may be at odds with the stereotype of writers being drunken sots. Writing is a lonely profession; being solitary, one is apt to become depressed or otherwise feel a need to offset the lack of professional companionship. Thus writers develop a drinking habit to compensate for all that isolation. Despite the existence of social networks and thus connecting with others, it is still an isolated endeavor. Social networks can also distract you.

Or you drink to get inspiration. I think Hemingway said “Write drunk, edit sober.”

Nevertheless, I defy the stereotype. When I was attempting to become a writer #backintheday pre-Internet and computer, I didn’t drink. When I began drinking, I gave up the idea of writing. When I sobered up, I revisited the whole writing thing.

I can’t even do the “writer as a drunken sot” thing correctly. Just as well. I am a misfit.

On the subject of “misfits,” I did join AA but I never quite fit in there, either. You can read about my AA adventures in some links on this page. A supposed “Fellowship” of like-minded people who are all united in keeping each other sober, I never quite got the hang of it. I attended zillions of meetings, adopted the language and worked the 12 Steps, did service work (make coffee, set up/clean up), participated in the “meeting before the meetings” and hung out afterwards. Never developed that wonderful “Fellowship” that is discussed so glowingly in the pages of AA literature. I tried, not being overbearing, of course (not my style), but still never saw people away from meetings, never got involved in their lives, nor they in mine. It was as if we didn’t exist outside of the rooms.

Oh, well. Leave it to me to be a misfit in a society of misfits.

NOTE: This is a ‘retropost,’ I am in the process of moving posts from Paul Sofranko Space (in order to make that a static site promoting my books) to here, as well as my Catholic365 column. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Using the Holy Face Chaplet as a “sobriety’ or “recovery” chaplet

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In The Holy Face of Jesus Chaplet for Alcoholics and Addicts, I mentioned:

Now, I am working of a new book of prayers for Sober Catholics, and I am including material on the Holy Face Devotion. While attending to that chapter, I got the idea that we can say the chaplet ourselves with the intention of making reparation for the abuses of our senses during the time of our addictions. Each one was abused by us during our addictions; for with each we committed sins against ourselves and others. 

Take some time to reflect on they ways by which you sinfully used touch, hearing, sight, smell, and taste during your active addiction. 

Instead of waiting for that book to come out (no release date planned yet, because it’s nowhere near being finished) I thought I’d write a few things that expand upon the above quote. This post could serve as a rough draft for that portion of the Holy Face Devotion chapter.

OK, like  I said in that above quoted post:

The chaplet of the Holy Face is comprised of 33 beads divided into five groups of six beads, headed by another bead, with three extra ones at the end. At the head of the Chaplet are an image of the Holy Face of Jesus and a Cross. The chaplet of the Holy Face has the purpose of honoring of the five senses of Our Lord Jesus Christ, all of which were abused during His Passion. The 33 beads represent the 33 years He spent on Earth.

When you say the chaplet, (available from EWTN here and here or at other Catholic shops selling rosaries and chaplets) just try and contemplate the sins you’ve committed with those senses. 

This aligns quite nicely with the reparative work of the chaplet. Each set of beads corresponds with that sense of Our Lord that was abused by the Romans during Passion: from the night of Holy Thursday when He was arrested and lead away to be tortured, all the way through to His Crucifixion. The Holy Face Devotion, like the Sacred Heart Devotion, is a work or reparation. We pray it to make reparation for the sins of others. When we use this to recall our sins committed by our senses during our addiction, we make reparation for them. 

The first sense prayed about is touch. Possible sins of touch are any of self-inflicted impurity (masturbation.) Also, the hands in picking up the drink, or in using drugs. 

The second sense is that of hearing. Possible sins could be in hearing the call of the drink, or the drug. Listening to sinful music. Listenng to gossip. There could be more. Dwell on that.

Next sense is sight. Pornography is an obvious one. Also, watching sinful movies and TV. Another could be letting your eyes distract you from whatever purpose you have in front of you.

Next is smell. Ever snorteed drugs or any bother substance? (Offhand, those are all I can think of regarding this sense.)

Next is taste. Drinking and drugging are the obvious ones. Also, gluttony. 

So, every time you recite the “Holy Face Chaplet (of Sobriety/of Recovery)” meditate on the senses and how you abused them. If you are a Twelve-Stepper, this could be useful in your Step Four work. This could also be an Examination of Conscience, either your daily one, or the one done just before Confession.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

AA’s “Big Book, 5th Edition is going to be a thing, I guess

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I received an email today from someone who thought I’d be interested in this bit of news: Welcome to the Big Book Fifth Edition story submission page! | Alcoholics Anonymous.

I was! Apparently some of my wondering in this post: Hypothetical 5th Edition of the Big Book to have major changes? is coming true. There will be an update to AA’s basic text this decade. However, all the worrying by some people that the ‘First 164 pages’ (i.e. the classic program of recovery spelled out by AA co-founder Bill W.) will be changed has come to naught. According to this quote:

In that spirit, the 2021 General Service Conference recommended that “a Fifth Edition of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, be developed, including an update of stories to better reflect the current membership, keeping in mind the 1995 Advisory Action:

“The first 164 pages of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, the Preface, the Forewords, ‘The Doctor’s Opinion’, ‘Dr. Bob’s Nightmare”, and the Appendices remain as is.”

Source (a pdf file you can download): STORY SOLICITATION.

So, it seems that they’re going to leave the classic program of recovery untouched. Oh, well. Hopefully the archaic language and century-old thinking on alcoholism doesn’t spell doom for AA. Perhaps they are quietly ‘thinking ahead’ and anticipating a 6th Edition in 2039 (the centennial anniversary of the 1st Edition of the Big Book) and will update the First 164 then. I just hope it won’t be too late after people have abandoned AA for other, more relevant recovery programs that adapt as time moves forward. I can see it now: a majority of AA Home Groups are dominated by people with decades of sobriety and they’re all at least 50 years old and wondering where the young ex-drunks are. 

One personal note: this news originally came out several months ago. The deadline for submitting stories is 31 Oct 2022. One week away! I guess I’m not ‘tuned into’ AA news like I thought. I am sufficiently active on In the Rooms to have heard it there, assuming they would mention such a thing. No matter. I won’t be submitting any story; I doubt they’d accept a story from someone who’s program of recovery is Holy Mass, the other Sacraments, spiritual reading, the Matt Talbot Way, and online recovery (and who last attended a F2F AA meeting in early 2014.) I do hope there’s 1 or 2 (or even 3!) personal stories that focus on online recovery! If they update the Personal Stories section of the Big Book to reflect the current membership, then online recovery has to be represented. Especially as it was critically important to many during the COVID lockdowns!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Why I stopped regularly attending AA meetings

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I wrote in my last post, “Today is my Twentieth Soberversary” that I had last attended an AA meeting as a regular member in 2004, and that I left it in anger. I thought that I had posted about it before, but couldn’t find it. If it exists, then finding it is taking more time than writing a new one about the experience. So, I’m writing a new one. Or the first one. Shut up and blog, Paulcoholic.

OK, so it was August 2004. I was ‘going through some stuff’ that summer and one of the ways I got through it all was to be the coffeemaker for my Home Group. Usually, the job rotates. My Home Group met every weekday and I ‘needed’ to make it everyday to cope. No one objected as they knew I needed it and wouldn’t keep it as a daily service work forever. So for a few months, I made the coffee every day. And then around August I decided that I had gotten past the worst of what I was going through and was now ready to relinquish the job, keeping just Monday for myself. This other guy had taken Tuesday.

All was fine for a while. Then one day, a Monday, actually, the meeting began and the Tuesday Guy was the chairperson. My Home Group had some liberal policies as to who can chair a meeting. Tuesday Guy had only three months in the program, but he wanted to chair it and no one objected. When it came time to come up with a topic, no one suggested any and so he came up with one. It was a topic that oftentimes is introduced during the holidays. “What to do when confronted with a drinking situation.” (Because around Christmas, Easter and other holidays, a recovering person often finds themselves in just such a situation.) Tuesday Guy, if I recall correctly, recently lost a friend in a motorcycle accident, and there was going to be an event held in the deceased’s honor at a local drinking establishment; ‘and should I go?”

I dislike sharing when I have no personal “experience, strength and hope” to relate to. In other words, if the topic is something I have no personal experience with, I’ll pass when called upon to share. I’d never really faced this situation, so I’ll just pass. 

Tuesday Guy started calling upon people to share. Then it was my turn. I said, “I’ll pass.” But Tuesday guy would have none of that. “No, Paul, we all want to know what you think about this!” 

Well, I always had this paranoid fear in AA meetings that one day I’ll be called upon to share, I’d refuse, and promptly be told that isn’t the custom at this meeting; ‘here, when you’re called to share, you must.’ A paranoid, irrational fear, to be true; and that it would only happen if I attended a meeting far beyond my home area, where they might have strange customs. Except that it didn’t happen in some far away AA meeting, it happened right in my Home Group! So, I figured I’ll just share what I know from AA’s ‘Conference-approved literature,’ in this case, something from their book, “Living Sober.” And so I quoted from memory a line that said something about ‘if you have a legitimate reason for being there,’ and at that point Tuesday Guy interrupted me. “Well, Paul doesn’t know what he’s talking about; can someone else share?”

I was stunned. My worst fear was not only realized, that of being forced to share, but while sharing relevant book knowledge, I was humiliated in from of a bunch of people. The meeting continued. The men couldn’t look at me; the women gave me sympathetic looks. Almost everyone quoted the same line I started quoting. 

The meeting ended. I don’t even recall if I helped clean up. As coffeemaker, my job was done prior to the meeting; afterwards others pitch in with the clean up. 

Remember, this was Monday and Tuesday follows, meaning Tuesday Guy was going to be there early the next day to open up and make the coffee. I was prepared.

Tuesday rolls around and I get there early. I timed my arrival so that I showed up after about when I thought Tuesday Guy got there but before anyone else arrived. I was successful. The site was opened, he was there, in the back, alone, getting ready. I stalked over to him, he sees me coming and has a crooked smirk. I went up to him and slammed down on the table, right next to the coffee machine, my copy of the building’s keys. I said quite loudly, almost shouting into his smirky face, “I AM NOT COMING TO THIS MEETING EVER AGAIN!”

And then I stormed out. All I can say is that when I was walking to my car I had a feeling of liberation. The sun was sunnier. The birds were chirpier. The cars driving by were carrier. And a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I literally felt lighter.

And I never set foot in that meeting. Well, not quite true. I did return a over a year later to an occasional meeting, but it had moved to a different location by then and so I figured my declaration held. 

Since that day in August 2004, I never considered myself a regular meeting attendee. As I’ve said before, I am a misfit in a fellowship of misfits. I don’t bother with live meetings; occasionally dabble in online recovery and read AA literature. But having a Home Group? Nope. 

A couple of posts on Catholics attending AA meetings:

Should Catholics Attend AA meetings? I heard they’re bad.

A Fortnight of Years in Sobriety

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Death and Acceptance

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I am in the process of transferring old posts from “The Four Last Things,” a blog I ran until 2016 on ‘Death, Judgement, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell.’ This process of migrating was started quite some time ago, but for no reason aside from laziness and forgetfulness was never completed until today. By ‘completed,’ I mean the posts have been moved and mostly postdated, a few backdated. I ran across this one from August 7, 2013. I was going to backdate it, but figured hardly anyone will see it unless they explored the archives. So here it is, unedited:    

I attended an AA meeting today for the first time in who knows how long. I had intended to go to Confession, but I ran into the priest and he told me that it was cancelled for today. Some diocesan shindig. I knew the parish hosted an AA meeting at the same time and so I figured, “What the heck? I’ll check it out.”

The topic was death and acceptance.

I didn’t share as I’m usually reticent about doing so. Fear of speaking at AA meetings go ‘way back. I do when I can offer something. I should have today, but was nervous as I had never been to this meeting before.

What I would have said, had I bothered to was something like this:

“Taking death and acceptance, and putting it into our recovery, all I can say is that we’ve already died once. Our old practicing alcoholic selves died when we entered the program and achieved a lasting sobriety. We’ve been reborn, in a way, when we got that sobriety and learned a bit about the Steps.

I think the book “Daily Reflections” has a reading from (I think June) which says something about how we alcoholics are fortunate to have lived two lifetimes in one life. There’s the life we lived as drunks, and now our new one as sober alcoholics.

All we have to do is “keep our side of the street clean” against the eventuality of our own death.”

Not bad. But it was enough to conquer the fear of attending a meeting for the first time, much less expecting me to talk. What I said was hinted at anyway by some other speakers, so really no big deal.

Maybe next time.

NOTE: (26 October 2021.) Well, there never was a ‘next time.’ I went to a few more meetings, started regular meeting attendance in early 2014, but quit after a few months. I do online recovery instead. My sobriety is just as strong as it was when I regularly attended meetings. Which, come to think of it, was really only from 2001-2004! But this is me, if you need regular meetings, by all means…

Additional NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, some edited, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Hypothetical 5th Edition of the Big Book to have major changes?

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Although I do not attend AA meetings in person, I still make use of and work the Twelve Steps. I enjoy reading Twelve Step literature every day, whether it be favorite passages from the Big Book or from a few daily meditations and reflections books. I also really enjoy participating in online recovery on In the Rooms. My recovery program is hardly traditional, being primarily focused on Catholic spirituality and supplemented by Twelve Step literature and online recovery. But I still have a deep interest in AA, its future and such like.

The current Big Book of AA is in its 4th edition and was published in 2001. New editions come out every few decades (1st one in 1939, 2nd edition in 1955, the 3rd in 1976.) So, given that the current edition is coming up on being 20 years old, I was wondering if there might be plans afoot to update it with a 5th edition.

I cannot seem to find any definitive, authoritative online sources that say so; except for a few regional AA groups petitioning for such a thing, there does not seem to be any formal announcement from AA about a 5th edition, except perhaps considering discussing such a project in 2022. 

I did find one blogger who declared recently that they did vote on such a project, and that they will change the first 164 pages of the Big Book. This is the classic,  legendary and revered program of recovery section, commonly referred to as the “first 164 pages,” or simply, “the first 164.” These were written by Bill. W., the co-founder of AA and are almost regarded as a ‘sacred text’ by long time AA members. It is in these pages that the Twelve Steps are described, amongst other helps. “Anonymous Alcoholic,” in their blog of the same name, declared:

Unbelieveable. They will take out “To The Wives”, “The Family Afterward” and “To The Employers”, and they will change the pronouns to they and them and develop new stories.

Source: “And Yes…They Voted To CHANGE THE BIG BOOK!!!”

I submitted a comment, which hasn’t appeared yet asking Anonymous Alcoholic for their source; I diligently searched and like I said above, found nothing definitive.

I can understand and appreciate Anonymous Alcoholic’s concern. Change is hard, especially in something near and dear and life-saving. But still, survival means adaptation, and when people, places and human organizations do not adapt to change, they vanish. If this person’s fears are correct, and they will change the Big Book in the manner supposed, I have no problem with it (please read on before submitting hostile comments 😉 ) because in my opinion, for AA to release another edition of the Big Book and retain the current ‘first 164 pages’ sends the entire movement on the pathway to irrelevance. Other recovery programs using contemporary research on alcoholism and contemporary language will supplant AA. They even may make use of the Steps, but in the end the Twelve Steps may be all that anyone will recall of AA. The ‘fellowship’ will fade into irrelevance from blind resistance to needed change.

First, the basic facts regarding new editions of the Big Book (which, incidentally, has the formal name of “Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition”). Every new edition is published for the express purpose of reflecting the changes in the membership of Alcoholics Anonymous since the previous edition was published. So far, this has only merited changes in the “Personal Stories” sections. Old stories are deleted, some retained, and new stories reflecting ‘changes in the membership’ replace the deleted ones. These typically reflect demographic and societal changes. Some people appreciate the changes, some dislike them, others don’t much care and just want to know “how they stayed sober.”

Second, it seems that every time a new edition is released, there is pressure to alter the first 164 pages. Through the 4th edition, AA has resisted the urge to alter them. Hard core traditionalists defend the efficacy of these chapters, and since Bill W. wrote them, they are untouchable. Others insist that they are archaic, sexist or outdated and have served their purpose. They need to be updated to maintain relevancy with people now entering AA.

I agree with the latter. I think the time is nigh for the “first 164” to be updated. Although the “first 164” has helped me and countless others recover from alcoholism since 1939, it is time for them to be refreshed. Now, before your head explodes with irate emotion if you’re among the legions who oppose such changes, bear with me, please, and read my arguments and counsels.

 Consider: the “first 164 pages” were written in the 1930s. They use 1930s American English complete with slang. Should people in the 2020s and 2030s and onwards be subjected to that? They reflect a 1930s understanding of alcoholism. Therein lies the need for a change; the archaic language just sounds very odd and difficult to contemporary ears. It also sounds sexist, although that merely reflects the social norms back then (over 90% of ex-drunks were male, and it was assumed the reader was a man) and thus no malicious sexism was intended. And then there has been nearly 90 years of growth in our understanding of alcoholism and the disease concept of it. AA need not abandon the “disease concept of alcoholism;” but they could update the chapters on understanding alcoholism with the near-century of development since then. 

The chapters that Anonymous Alcoholic cites, “To The Wives”, “The Family Afterward” and “To The Employers,” form the core program of what came to be the Al-Anon Family Programs. Al-Anon has been around since the 1950s, is a mature organization with its own literature, and they hardly need these chapters. Omitting them could free up room for more stories, or for more extensive recovery program chapters (or both.) 

For anyone worried that updating the language will render fundamental changes to the meanings of the classic program of recovery: AA could easily solicit recovered alcoholics and non-alcoholics who are experts in language and make certain that the essential program retains the same meanings and ideas, just rendered in contemporary English usage. Consider that the Christian Bible get translated every few decades to reflect changes in language as well as deeper understandings of the intent of the Sacred Inspired writers. The Bible gets updated while still (hopefully) retaining the same theology and doctrines, but the Big Book is sacrosanct and inviolable?

No one need to fear that the original 164 will be lost forever; if past AA actions are any indication, they could publish a separate book containing the original first 164 pages just like when in 2003 they published “Experience, Strength and Hope,” a book that contains every personal story from the first 3 editions of the Big Book that are not in the current 4th edition. With that precedent, AA seems intent on preserving their recovery heritage. Also, AA’s copyright to the first edition of the Big Book expired in the US; meaning it is now in the public domain and therefore can be published by anyone. (Nevertheless, AA has reprinted a special commemorative edition of it a few years ago.) So, the classic program will never be lost, either through AA itself publishing the ‘first 164’ on their own as a standalone text, or someone reprinting the original edition. So, I wouldn’t worry. Everyone will be free to use whatever ‘program’ they want; people can use the 5th edition with an updated text but still refer to ‘how it was done’ from 1939 thru 2020whenever. Or, people can use the 5th edition for just the newer personal stories and use any ‘first 164 pages’ heritage book/1st edition public domain reprint for the classic program of recovery. I would really be shocked if they just let the first 164 pages just pass out of memory; it has helped countless people and deserves to be preserved. So, any way you look at the issue, a revised “first 164” is hardly apocalyptic and calamitous. The classic text will always be around.

Just my 2 cents. Like this post? You can tip me using the PayPal badge in the sidebar. Thank you!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Christmas 2019 in this Dark Age

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Merry Christmas to all my Sober Catholic readers; I hope your Advent season bore much spiritual fruit in your lives as you prepared for this day, the Nativity of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

If any of you paid attention to the Mass readings during Advent or even to the Office of Readings in the Liturgy of the Hours you are aware that Advent wasn’t just about preparing for the commemoration of His First Coming as an infant; no, the readings were also about the need for us to prepare for His Second Coming as a Just Judge, bringing history to an end and taking the righteous home to eternal life with the Father and casting into Hell the unjust, the oppressors, persecutors, the selfish and the exploiters. The damned.

Based upon all this, and combining that all with the variety of spiritual reading I’ve done in recent memory, it appears to me that the World is in almost as dark a place now as it was in the times immediately preceding Our Lord’s birth. Barbaric times of slavery and oppression, infanticide, wars and the commoditization of human beings, these times are little different. Oh, we seem more sophisticated nowadays and are more conscious of our troubles, but factor in abortion, infanticide, euthanasia, human trafficking (modern slavery) endless war, economic and political corruption, the degradation and dehumanization of human life… these times aren’t that much different.

Seems like we need a Saviour, again.

Of course, He is here, still among us in the Eucharist and the Mass; in some places He us available 24/7 in Eucharistic Adoration chapels. Otherwise, through prayer and meditation you can establish and maintain your conscious contact with God and keep that channel of life sustaining grace flowing into your soul.

He doesn’t need to Come again now to save the World from itself; He is here in His Church and Her sacraments and prayer life. We can partake of these and be Christ -bearers to others lost in the World. Many are starving for objective Truth and they know not where it is or even that it exists.

You can be a Christ-bearer in this Dark Age and bring His light to those blinded by the World. You need not become street preachers or add your voice to the blogosphere; you can merely be Christian. By doing things with great love, fulfilling the duties of your state of life, by trying to see the brokenness and woundedness of others about you. Not easy when we are often absorbed by our own pain. But we try.

How long this Dark Age will continue is unknown. There are Catholic prophecies that state that light of Christ may appear to vanish before the Second Coming; that His Church may suffer many tribulations and persecutions and will be all but destroyed. There are also Scriptural signs about what must happen before He returns. Nevertheless we must be like the servant in the parable who does his duty not knowing when his master will return. We do what is in front of us, care for each other and prepare… for we know not when He will Return, either and the end of time or for us personally. Our lives must be like a continual Advent and Christmas season; ever watchful in preparation for His Coming, and being Christ-bearers to others.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Soberversary! Seventeen years sober, today.

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Today I achieved my seventeenth year of sobriety. That’s One Day At A Time repeated 6,209 times.

A certain Twelve Step movement helped a lot at first; but I credit my endurance to Our Lord and Saviour’s Church, the Holy Catholic Church and to His Most Holy Mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary. I think a few saints assisted along the way, too.

That’s all. No major revelations. “If I can manage to become sober, so can anyone.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Should a Catholic attend AA meetings? I heard they’re bad…

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I have long been meaning to write a post on the subject title; it was finally inspired by a question in a Traditional Latin Mass Group on Facebook. I deposited my two cents and the following is an edited copy-and-paste of my reply (along with some additional thoughts not included in the Facebook reply):

Attending AA meetings is fine as long as you remain strong in your Faith and study it and the resources the Church offers to strengthen you against temptations to drink (as well as other inordinate desires.) There are links in the sidebar which can direct to resources to help you learn more about the Faith.

Most people who bash AA are unaware of the Catholic assistance and influence that existed in early AA ; the 12 Steps were developed with the help of a Jesuit (when they were still Catholic 😉 ) and are similar to the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. Also, they are loosely written enough to be applicable to people of all religious and spiritual traditions, so that you can very easily Catholicize them and reinterpret any ambiguous spirituality they contain that you regard as disagreeable.

“But, they mention ‘Higher Power!!’ ‘God of my understanding’!!! That’s pagan! New Age!!!”

“No, it isn’t. Just generic terms for any power greater than you. My HP is Jesus. There are probably more non-Catholics and other Christians who are alcoholics than there are followers of Jesus, this accommodates them. Just switch it to Jesus and be kind. Everyone is on a spiritual journey; who knows how the Holy Spirit leads one to the Truth?”

My advice, and this comes from someone who is over 16 years sober, (and who also has written this blog for over 11 years) is if you have a problem with alcohol, go to AA. Do the “90 meetings in 90 days” routine (you’ll hear and be exposed to anything you’ll ever hear about alcoholism from AA’s perspective for pretty much every life situation that you once needed to drink over) and get the basic literature. Then decide whether you wish to continue. I advise sticking with it for a year, then go as needed or not at all. (I find online recovery works well, in addition to keeping you somewhat better insulated against non-Catholic spirituality. For that, I recommend In the Rooms. My profile: Paulcoholic on ITR.)

The “basic literature” that I suggest is the “Big Book,” aka “Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition,” and “12 and 12″” aka the “The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.” Also, get the book “Experience, Strength and Hope,” which contains classic personal stories from earlier editions of the Big Book no longer included in the current. “Daily Reflections” is a collection of 366 daily meditations written by alkies for alkies. “Living Sober” is another essential book, containing essays for ‘living sober;’ advice gleaned from AA meetings and other AA literature for keeping sober in many situations. I would also like to include “As Bill Sees It,” a collection of thoughts and excerpts from the writings of AA’s co-founder, Bill Wilson. All of these can be ordered from aa.org

“But, some of the stories and stuff are written by people who are…”

“Oh, knock it off. Take what’s useful and leave the rest. ‘They’ just might say THAT ONE THING you need to hear that will keep you from the drink. Jesus dined with hookers and government types, are you better than Him?”

I wrote the following paragraph in that Facebook reply namely in anticipation of attacks on AA membership. While I no longer attend AA meetings, they are useful and helpful for those who need them. Anyway, I expected some attacks (none serious so far at the time of the drafting of this post) and added this:

Incidentally, and before I get flamed for speaking in defense of AA, the reason why I started the Sober Catholic blog is to help Catholics with addictions to discover what the Church offers to assist them and also to help “keep them Catholic.” For I have discovered many Catholics leaving the Church due to exposure to AA spirituality. (They weren’t strong Catholics to begin with: weak in their Faith, they drifted away affected by moral relativism. Sober Catholic hopes to stem the tide, even in a small way. Actually, I have found that the organization “Celebrate Recovery” to be a more insidious threat.)

A strong Catholic Faith, the basic AA lit for when you need something directly applied to alcoholism, meetings if and when you need them, and you can be free from the drink.

(I sobered up in the rooms of AA, but have NOT been a regular meeting goer since 2004. Since then it’s just been once in a while. But my last live, face-to-face meeting was in 2014. So, AA “isn’t needed,” but you do need to be deep in the Church and sacraments. But I did find that my own Catholic interpretation of AAs spirituality was essential and invaluable. Everything just gets filtered through my Catholic lens.)

Regarding attacks on AA: There is lots of misinformation out there from people with an axe to grind. Perhaps they (or someone they know) was hurt by AA (no organization of people is perfect, we’re all sinners and things can get out of control. Even the Church has hurt people. No reason to leave it. Although it’s understandable, at least for a while.)

But I’ve seen whacko sites accusing AA of being pagan, New Age, a cult, all sorts of things. It can be, but that might be just local conditions here and there. There was a document from Rome put out in the early 00s listing Twelve Step movements of being damaging; the writer knew zilch about AA, the work was poorly researched (at least as to including AA. Spot on about other things.)

But in general, AA (or any 12 Step Group) isn’t a threat to anyone’s Catholicism if their Faith is deep, and if not, like I said above, they should apply themselves to learning the Faith with the same dedication they apply themselves to learning the 12 Steps. After you’ve gotten them down and learn to live by them, they make a nice accompaniment to living by the Gospel and Beatitudes and taking part in the sacramental life of the Church. Subordinate to the tools of Faith, but still essential.

And that was the reply. So, that is it: try AA. Learn the basics of 12 Step living. Get the books I mentioned above and refer to them when needed. Keep increasing your knowledge of the Catholic Church at the same time; attend Mass (daily, if possible), study the Catechism, boost your prayer life and frequent the sacraments (especially the Eucharist and Confession.) After you’ve done your “90 in 90,” then decide if it’s for you. It comes down to this:

“You shall know them by their fruits.” From the Gospel according to St. Matthew, Chapter 7 verse 16. Courtesy Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version.

Are you sober? This doesn’t mean “just not drinking.” Drinking was a crutch to help you cope. Many people drink to relieve the burdens of life, but those afflicted with alcoholism are different and the crutch becomes an instrument of pain and torture rather than a support. Take away the crutch, and what have you? The problems that afflicted you are still there; perhaps those directly attributable to drinking will vanish, but others still remain. How will you handle them? AA helps you cope with life without the crutch of the drink. If you won’t use AA, what will you use? Does that aid directly address drinking, as in ‘not doing it?’and how to live without it?

If you stop drinking without replacing the drink with another “life aid,” how are things going? If you’re irritable, restless, discontented, angry, bitter, resentful, mean-spirited and bad-tempered, whatever you’re doing isn’t working. If you need confirmation, ask your family, friends and co-workers. They’ll enjoy the opportunity to finally tell you…

Just “not drinking” isn’t enough, you have to find something that “reprograms” you, helps you react to things in a civil and socially-acceptable manner with resorting to the drink to help. Again, Matthew 7:16. What are the fruits of your “program” of recovery from alcoholism?

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

“Catholic in Recovery”

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I found on another blog reference to a group called “Catholic in Recovery.” I had never heard of it before and I am intrigued.

The website is Catholic in Recovery and you can read their self-description at “About.” The organization was started by a Scott Weeman, and you can read his story here: MY NAME IS SCOTT — I’M AN ALCOHOLIC. There’s also a Catholic in Recovery blog.

Go see for yourself!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)