How often do you pray and go to Church? Part 2

Yesterday I wrote Part 1 of this post. Today I hope to conclude this topic.

I concluded yesterday’s post with this question: “Now I ask the question, or rather reframe the question in the title, ‘How do you live the life of the Church?’

The life of the Church is marked by prayer and the liturgy. The Sacraments are Her lifeblood. How often do you explore and partake of them?”

The liturgy permeates the year. The Church has her own calendar, with its own seasons. These are independent of the physical seasons, perhaps symbolizing the eternal nature of the Church and how it sits astride creation. The Heavens and the Earth will pass away, but never the Church.

The Mass is the highest form of prayer on Earth. Nothing surpasses it. Jesus established it during the Last Supper. In fact the Mass is the presentation again of the Last Supper and the continuation of Christ’s suffering and death on Calvary. Note that this is NOT a re-sacrifice, but a continuation – across space and time. If you are at a Catholic Mass, you are as if you are at the Last Supper or at the foot of the Cross.

Most Catholic parishes offer Mass daily, or at least a number of times during the week. If due to work obligations one is unable to attend, Mass is online. But you can attend a Catholic Mass more that just once a week on Sundays. If you participate in 12 Step meetings, how often do you go to them? Well, then you can attend a Mass perhaps as often. If it is boring to you, or you get nothing out of it, what do you know about the Mass apart from what I said earlier? Pray the Mass, dwell on its meaning. Worth a lot more than a 12 Step meeting.

Online Masses:

EWTN Television Schedules

Via EWTN.

CatholicTV Schedule

Via CatholicTV.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Ignatius of Loyola and the Spiritual Exercises

Today, July 31st, is the feast day of St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Society of Jesus (also known as the Jesuits).

(Via Catholic Online.)

For our purposes here at Sober Catholic he is best known as the author of the “Spiritual Exercises”, a classic text on ridding yourself of character defects and sinful behavior through prayer, meditation, examination of conscience and the use of the Mass and the sacraments. When Bill Wilson, the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous wrote the Twelve Steps, it was remarked that they bore a striking similarity to St.Ignatius’ Spiritual Exercises.

I shall be starting the Spiritual Exercise myself this weekend. There are various methods of doing this, I will be using the classic English translation published by Tan Books. It takes about 30 days to complete, but with allowances for the state of life one is in, and your progress, it’ll probably take longer.

I shall blog about the experience while doing them. The reason for that is that the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius should form the cornerstone of any program of recovery for a Catholic. The application of the Spiritual Exercises along with a good sacramental life may be all that one needs to maintain sobriety. Not having done these until now, and making them a part of this blog is long overdue.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Departures from our lives

Today, June 26th, is the fifth anniversary of my mother-in-law’s death. I never knew her as I met my wife in 2007, but through my wife she has had some impact on me. I would have loved her greatly.

A number of posts on this blog indicates that I think of death quite a lot. (I had a blog devoted to it, but I discontinued it and transferred most of its posts to this one. This is an edit of one of those.) It has impacted me in a number of ways in my adulthood, and has formed me into the person that I am now. Almost as much as sobriety has.

We have people in our lives. And then they are gone. Whether they are taken from us by death, or merely drift away by relocation or choices, people are with us until they are no more.

I think that each departure is a distinctly traumatic event in our lives. Each departure leaves a hole or a tear in our lives that may never be healed. Sometimes we are not aware that they should be healed, as in when somebody moves away or just drifts off. But these people were a part of the fabric of our lives, and were woven into the tapestry of our life. They go away, that tapestry is torn.

I think we all too casually feel we should just “move on” when someone goes away. I learned of this when my Mom died in 2005 and I went through grief counseling. My old AA sponsor suggested it, and I never knew such a thing existed for “ordinary” deaths. I thought it was just for extraordinary deaths like school shootings, natural disasters, terror attacks and major accidents like train wrecks and airliner crashes. But no, one can also attend when it’s only when your Mom that has died.

Perhaps we take for granted the people in our lives. Maybe we don’t feel that they will “go away” or somehow it won’t hurt. We rarely think of such traumatic change. Too painful.

I yearn for Heaven. Not in any suicidal way, but just so I can be reunited with the people I’ve loved and lost, and people I’ve never met but would be important to me anyway. And also because there would never be any parting. No one dies and no one moves away. We will be together forever.

There is in the 12 Step movements “Step 9”, which is the step where you make amends to people in your life that you’ve hurt because of your addiction. It’s an attempt to reconcile and to clear the air. Perhaps there won’t be a reconciliation, but at least the attempt was made. There is the possibility that people previously gone will be back.

Don’t underestimate the joy that may bring. There is too much loss in today’s world.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Second Step: Coming to Believe

The Second Step of 12 Step recovery movements is:

“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

“Came to believe” implies a process in which you once didn’t believe, but eventually adopted a belief.

This is known as conversion. “Recovery” is a distinct form of conversion, as you undergo a process in which you gradually change from the person that you were to a person that you are now by virtue of altering how you react to things and seeking other means of fulfilling and satisfying the needs of your soul. This Step is the beginning of a conversion process.

Very rarely can anyone become sober by themselves. Many people can stop drinking on their own, but do not replace alcohol as a coping mechanism with anything else. Although not drinking, their sobriety isn’t necessarily a healthy or “sane” one. For a restoration of sanity, or at least fairly normal behavior, we must resort to a “Power greater than ourselves.” This means God, but to avoid the appearance of forcing a particular concept of God upon anyone, a benignly sounding “Higher Power” of your own conception is named.

Therefore, this Step is about adopting a new frame of mind in which you admit to the fact that you need special help to become sober and sane. Just as the result of the First Step was an admission of personal weakness, now you recognize that something else has to come in and fill the void left by your corrupted will.

From the Gospel according to Mark: Mark 9:23-24: “Jesus said to him,’‘If you can!‘ Everything is possible to one who has faith.’

Then the boy’s father cried out, ‘I do believe, help my unbelief!‘”

(Via USCCB.)

Ask the Lord to help your unbelief, if you feel that your Faith isn’t strong enough to carry you forward.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Spiritual Axiom: a Disturbance of the Spirit

A few years ago while in very early recovery I had the time to spend getting deep into the 12 & 12 and culling from it what I could. (The “12 and 12” is a book of essays on the Twelve Steps of AA: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, New York: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., 1981)

While going through the chapter on Step Ten, which is:

“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it”,

there is this line on page 90, which is often quoted in AA meetings:

It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.”

Lynn, over at Addictions / Trust God – Clean House – Help Others wrote an interesting post on this “Spiritual Axiom”. She asked me to write about it but I had to take a break after my Our Lady of Lourdes Novena for Alcoholics (novenas tire me out) so I’m taking up her request now. Here goes!

To me, what is “wrong” is the disturbance. It is wrong inasmuch as the hurt gets us “off the beam”. We’re hurt, in pain, suffering and emotional. This is the “wrong”. It is not wrong as in “error”, but wrong as in “imperfect” and lacking serenity.

There are two more quotes from page 90 which I think support my point:

If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also.

And…

Few people have been victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional “dry benders” often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbances – jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride, often did the same thing.

Therefore, the disturbance, whether it be jealousy or resentment and so on, is what is wrong. This disturbance has the potential to lead us back to drinking as we seek an immediate solution.

I took a day to ponder this, thinking perhaps like many alcoholics in recovery after having read that axiom, that we are what is wrong. We are the problem. Not so. Although we are imperfect beings, this disturbance introduces into our interior life an additional imperfection, one that may be very temporary although very dangerous. This axiom tells us that the external disturbance is the focus of our spiritual progression in recovery and that our reaction to it lies in recognizing it and dealing with it in a sober manner. This removes the disturbance and restores us to health.

Reciting the Serenity Prayer may help in coping with the problem. The entire prayer is posted here, not just the first part that most people know:

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The First Step: Powerless and unmanageable

“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.”

And thus is the First Step of 12 Step alcohol recovery groups. (Other addictions are appropriately substituted for alcohol in other 12 Step movements).

In essence it reflects a corruption of the will, with the references to powerlessness and unmanageability. Our wills are directed towards using our personal power to do things to manage and direct our lives. The Step refers to a lack of power and the resulting unmanageability of life, pointing towards alcohol as a key.

Since our will uses things to manage our lives, apparently somewhere along the way we figured that alcohol was a great way to do this. And somewhere further along that way we discovered that this isn’t true.

At first we thought that the same will could be used to stop our drinking. But a will that has been thoroughly corrupted by alcohol is in no condition to assert itself and stop drinking. It becomes powerless, and the life it influenced and controlled is now unmanageable. Help is needed.

God could step in and thoroughly remove the addiction, or the desire to drink. Someone could enter into the person’s life and take it over and prevent the person from drinking. But it doesn’t happen that way.

We are never entirely without our will. There are dregs of it left, despite the wretched condition we may be in at the point of admitting defeat.

And so with whatever control over our wills that we have left, we plaintively cry out in some manner into the darkness of our lives: “Help! I can’t do this myself!!” We realize that we have been beaten and cannot go on as before.

God entered our life and pours into it His graces and we survive. Our declaration of powerlessness is enough so that He, who respects the gift of free will that He had bestowed upon us, calls to us and gives us the strength to go on and seek help.

The salvation of Humanity itself needed someone else’s approval and willingness before God can work a miracle in her:

Luke 1:38: “Mary said, ‘Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.’ “

(Via USCCB)

And with that the Holy Spirit came upon her and Jesus was formed in her womb. The defeated alcoholic’s willingness to set aside self and allow God to move in is needed to begin to work a miracle in us. We are all called to be servants of the Lord, we are all called to do God’s will according to His word. As alcoholics we were so full of self that we couldn’t tolerate this idea, if we even conceived of it. Or worse, we felt we can discern His will through the bottom of a bottle of liquor.

John 3:30: “He must increase; I must decrease.'”

(Via uSCCB.)

One follows the other, we decrease, we set aside self, we adopt an attitude or demeanor of humility, and He increases in us.

I had written about this before: First Step: Powerlessness and weakness

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Came to believe

A few Sundays ago there was this Gospel reading at Mass:

John 2:13-22: “Since the Passover of the Jews was near,
Jesus went up to Jerusalem.
He found in the temple area those who sold oxen, sheep, and doves,
as well as the money-changers seated there.
He made a whip out of cords
and drove them all out of the temple area, with the sheep and oxen,
and spilled the coins of the money-changers
and overturned their tables,
and to those who sold doves he said,
‘Take these out of here,
and stop making my Father’s house a marketplace.’
His disciples recalled the words of Scripture,
Zeal for your house will consume me.
At this the Jews answered and said to him,
‘What sign can you show us for doing this?’
Jesus answered and said to them,
‘Destroy this temple and in three days I will raise it up.’
The Jews said,
‘This temple has been under construction for forty-six years,
and you will raise it up in three days?’
But he was speaking about the temple of his Body.
Therefore, when he was raised from the dead,
his disciples remembered that he had said this,
and they came to believe the Scripture

(Via USCCB.)

The phrase “came to believe” jumped out at me and made me think of the Second Step of recovery movements:

“Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

Both the disciple’s and an alcoholic’s “coming to believe” happen after some seismic event in their lives. The disciples had to witness Jesus’ resurrection to come to believe in His divinity and the Scriptural basis for His being, and the alcoholic had to fundamentally declare his or her own weakness about their addiction before “coming to believe” that God can effect change in their lives. For the disciples faith was the result, for an addict it is sanity.

Some may have a hard time reconciling faith with sanity, for faith is belief in the unknowable, and only crazy people believe in things unseen by any method. Maybe for us alcoholics in recovery it is not such a difficult thing. Our experience in recovery gives us an insight into the situations that are otherwise unexplainable, except by faith. Our ability to cope with this (or relish this) implies a sanity.

Where are you in “coming to believe?”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 5

The Fifth Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that a person does not conceal any sinful thoughts, or any wrongs committed in secret, but humbly confesses them.

The Step was intended for monks to do this in respect to his abbot (man who is in charge of the monastery), but we also can do this with our priests in Confession.

Psalm 32:5;

Then I declared my sin to you; my guilt I did not hide. I said, “I confess my faults to the LORD,” and you took away the guilt of my sin.

It is out of pride that we refuse to confess. From the blasphemous mortal sin of presuming that God cannot forgive a serious sin, to just concealing something out of embarrassment, pride is the agent here. We must confess our sins to a priest for absolution and penance, this at least humbles us by bringing our misdeeds to the light of day.

From Step 5 of various 12 Step movements:

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

So even a non-religious group feels that it is of great importance to reveal to another one’s wrongdoings. There is a certain catharsis in doing so, a definite change is felt within by the act of confessing, either in sacramental Confession or in “doing the Fifth Step” with someone.

Feeling that you can just confess sins straight to God is just a cop-out. Explore your feelings deep within, and if you’re honest, you’ll discover that you’re not being “pious” in talking to God, you’re running away from the sins and embarrassment they cause.

Confessing to another introduces you to the concept of “honesty”, another humility-inducing act.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 2

The second step on the Ladder of Humility is that a person should not love his own will nor take pleasure in satisfying their own desires.

This is very similar to the Third Step of 12 Step recovery movements: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

The Rule of St. Benedict quotes the Gospel According to John:

John 6:38;

I came down from heaven not to do my own will but the will of the one who sent me.

If we are Christian, then we imitate Christ.

If we follow our own will, to the exclusion of allowing the work and will of God to lead us, then we are being selfish. We are declaring that we are our own god and that our will is the master of our own lives.

This is what got us into trouble when we were drinking. Granted that our wills were somewhat compromised by our addiction, nevertheless our drinking enabled us to place ourselves at the center of our existence as we needed to feed our self-indulgences that were running wild. This hurt ourselves and most especially others. This is a black-and-white example of the dangers of putting our wills first, rather than seeking to do God’s will. In a selfish world, we see violence against each other and against nature, we see broken homes and families, we see discord and strife.

Satisfying one’s self-indulgent pleasures (usually of the physical or carnal variety) merely warps your relationships others. More discord.

Seek the will of the One who formed you in your mother’s womb.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Twelve Steps for Catholics

John, from the Venerable Matt Talbot Resource Center emailed me a link to an interesting series of blogposts on AA’s Twelve Steps, this time with a Catholic perspective.

Adrienne, of Adrienne’s Catholic Corner has written 12 Steps for Catholics from March through June of this year. That last link in the previous sentence is a link to her 12 Steps label, containing all the articles. If that doesn’t work, all are archived in her left sidebar.

They make for very good reading for those of you not attending AA meetings, or feel that AA may be too “New Agey”. With a proper, well-formed and guided perspective, the Steps are no threat to one’s Catholic Faith.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)