“The Way”

Posted on by

This isn’t really a movie review. I am expressing gratitude for a film. Which one? The Way, starring Martin Sheen and directed by his son, Emilio Estevez.

theway

I purchased the DVD a few weeks ago and recently found the time to watch it. I can’t say enough about it… I viewed it twice in one day last week and once again today. I feel compelled to watch it again before 2015 is over, which means I’ll be up early tomorrow morning to pop it in the DVD player right after Morning Prayer.

As the movie is over 5 years old, I won’t worry about ruining it with “spoilers,” besides, I don’t think knowing what happens harms the experience of watching the film.

In short, Martin Sheen plays Tom Avery, a Ventura County, California eye doctor whose son, Daniel, played by Emilio Estevez, is travelling about the world because he has to get it out of his system. Daniel is a Ph. D candidate who decides to not finish his dissertation. He determines that the real world is more important than ivory towers. And so he goes off to China, Nepal and elsewhere.

Near the beginning of the movie, we learn that he is in France. And shortly after, Tom learns through a phone call from the French gendarmerie that Daniel was killed in a freak storm in the French Pyrenees. Tom travels to France to claim the remains and return home. Once there, he learns from the French gendarme who notified him of Daniel’s death that Daniel died while going on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela. “The Camino” is a 1,000 year-old pilgrimage ending up at the Tomb of St. James the Apostle. If you do a search for that, you’ll learn much more than I can tell you here; clicking on the movie link in the first paragraph is a good start.

After Tom learns of Daniel’s pilgrimage and goes through the gear that was found on his body, he impulsively decides to finish Daniel’s journey. This is not something that one “just decides to do,” for the Camino is about 500 miles long and training is usually required. Tom is over 60. Did I mention that you have to walk it? (But this is a movie, after all… but… perhaps there is a lesson here?)

And so Tom takes Daniel’s gear as well as Daniel (his body was cremated), and starts.

Tom begins the journey and meets numerous people along the Way. Although consumed by his son’s death and the accompanying grief, he reluctantly gathers three companions for the trip. Joost from Amsterdam is the first, and he is doing the Camino to lose weight. His wife no longer wants to be “intimate” with him and he’s had warnings from his doctor. Sarah from Canada is next, she says that she’s doing the Camino to quit smoking. (There’s another reason, which I won’t disclose.) Finally joining the group is Jack from Ireland. He’s a travel writer who is afflicted with writer’s block. He’s there to write a book on the Camino (interviewing pilgrims) and get “unblocked.”

And then stuff happens, 😉 finishing with their arrival at St. James’ Cathedral. (Do they know how to build Cathedrals, or what???)

It is a deceptively simple movie; seeing it several times so quickly keeps me “in it” and enables me to pick out certain things I otherwise would have missed. In other words, the movie remains fresh and seeing it again so soon helps me to add layers of comprehension. It is also not a typical film, very character- and idea-driven, unlike most Hollywood movies.

I now have a tremendous desire to go on Camino, although I doubt it will happen due to physical and financial issues. Bursitis in my arms, arthritis in my shoulders and feet (the feet also have bone spurs/calcified deposits – complications from old sprains) hinder me.

Why did I say that “I am expressing gratitude for” the film? Going “on Camino” is a basic theme of my recovery; “trudging the road of happy destiny” is an AA phrase for a journey for personal recovery (namely, “life.”) I am “here,” I need to go “there,” and going through whatever is in the way is my path. I am a firm believer that the journey is a part of the destination. A journey, or passage, is a symbol for me of conversion and transformation.

This is why the film “spoke to me,” and why I have these compulsions to watch it repeatedly. It’ll pass, it’s not like I’ll be obsessed with it and will end up watching it 500 times (well, maybe over a thirty-year span…) Right now it’s a new discovery that I’m going to enjoy in the near future and many times beyond.

“The Way” is undoubtedly now one of my favorite movies (the list includes “Casablanca.”)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Remember the lonely and the lost…

Posted on by

Today is Christmas, the Solemnity of the Nativity of the Lord. For many people it is a happy day, a time for family gatherings with lots of food and gifts and good times with memories to last.

For others, not so much.

Remember those who are lost today. Those who are lonely, have no family, or if they do, are estranged from them. Those who wander about with no hope.

Remember those who are homeless.

Remember those who are jobless and have to endure the humiliation of that state when they gather with family. Being unemployed anytime is horrible enough, but around the holidays it can be particularly embarrassing and humiliating. The personal degradation that you feel while among family members and they know you are out of work. They look at you, speak to you…

Remember those who have to work today…

Remember those who are just going through a rough time; a time of transition and change. The worst Christmas I ever had was ten years ago, Christmas Day 2005. My Mom had died in early November and just before Christmas the executor of her estate informed me that I had to get out of the house (I had been living with Mom for the previous ten years) so the estate can move forward with the sale. I suppose that if I had thought about it at the time I might have coped better, being forced to move might have made me meditate and ponder on the homelessness and wanderings of the Holy Family as they were on the move for the census mandated by the Emperor. Not to put my situation on a par with theirs at all, but the issue could have been handled with far more compassion.

But the executor had little use for compassion and understanding as they are merely baggage that reminds one of your own humanity.

And so after being told that I had to leave within thirty days, I drove about the county in a suicidal mood. The roads were icy and snowy and I was seeking out an appropriate place to ditch the car with me in it in a fatal accident. The “eviction” was the last straw; having been a punching bag for the executor and held with cold indifference by certain other family members was enough. This nearly broke me. I did have the presence of mind to call my priest who “just happened to know someone” who might have an apartment to rent. He did, and so I spent Christmas Day 2005 moving, hauling carload after carload of possessions across town. Alone, just me, as there was no one available to assist.

I knew “aloneness.”

I apologize for the downer post on Christmas, but perhaps you can spend a few moments thinking about those who are spending Christmas in a situation not at all similar to a warm and rosy holiday setting. Offer something up to help them cope.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Try and make amends before it’s too late

Posted on by

I blogged earlier about an online friend’s sudden death.

Given the nature of Sober Catholic, I will offer an exhortation to those who have yet to make amends to people they need to (or have to). Do so, for the time will come when they will die and the opportunity will be lost.

I understand perfectly well the resistance to approaching people and trying to make up for the damage done while drinking or drugging. Sometimes it is not possible as trying to will only do more harm than good. Use your conscience or speak with a sponsor or bring it up at a meeting, if needed.

But at least consider the possibility that they person may not be around when you finally decide to repair the relationship.

NOTE: The lady who died wasn’t someone with whom I needed to make an amends. Her death was sudden, and that is what prompted these posts.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

From sudden and unprovided death, deliver us, O Lord

Posted on by

I learned today that an online friend died when she was hit by a truck while crossing a street. She passed away later at the hospital. She received Last Rites before she died.

The suddenness of any death typically provokes a reaction of shock and dismay. Someone is there, and then suddenly gone. The quickness is a reminder that we, too, can suddenly be “called home.” We know not the day nor the hour of our passing. We must always be prepared as if today will be our last. But who really does this?

The suddenness of someone’s death also provokes another reaction: that of a desire to quickly think about the living and how we never really appreciate them while they are still with us. I suppose that this is essentially taking people for granted, but I also think that it is a symptom that we do not have death always in mind. It is always a distant, abstract thing. We know it will happen, we prefer not to think about it.

So, death is a distant thing from our minds and the permanence of people in our lives is assumed.

I think if we reverse this on both notions then culture and civilization will be far more peaceful and compassionate.

Incidentally, the lady who died was in recovery, she had purchased both of my Catholic devotional books and enjoyed them, bringing them frequently to Adoration to meditate with. So, her death was a little sensitive for me. I am truly saddened by her loss.

NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, some edited, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Yesterday was New Year’s Day…

Posted on by

…on the liturgical calendar of the Catholic Church. It was the First Sunday of Advent.

As with every New Year, this is an opportunity to “start over” and improve yourself. Assess your life, see where it’s been and how it’s going and make adjustments. Given the healing nature of the Church, from the Eucharist and the Sacrement of Confession, to opportunities to become closer to Jesus through Adoration, I would say that we sober Catholics ought to give greater importance to the Church’s New Year than to the secular one as a means of “renewal.”

This year seems to be offering a lot for that. There is Pope Francis’ initiative of Jubilee Year of Mercy. I raised the importance of this and how we can make use of it here: The Year of Mercy and what it means for us sober Catholics.

I also wrote earlier about how we should all delve into the Diary of St. Faustina, “Divine Mercy in My Soul;” please see: St. Faustina and Divine Mercy. I continually find great spiritual riches in her writings. It is much like diving into a deep ocean of mystical waters, each time I feel more “clean” and better about my relationship with the Lord. The Diary also gives me confidence to deal with many issues plaguing society today. The World is still scary, but I can cope with it after reading the Diary.

Advent is upon us. Make room for Jesus; He is coming. Take advantage of the spiritual and especially the sacramental resources available. Try attending Mass more often, (not just on Sundays.) GO TO CONFESSION! You’re a sinner (me, too. We all are.)

Have a great Advent…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

I am the Lady of the Rosary, I am your Mother

Posted on by

70,000 people witnessed the last public Apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary at the Cova da Iria, near Fatima, Portugal on October 13, 1917.

Why am I blogging about this now? To fulfill a commitment I made when I started blogging about Fatima last year, that up through 2017 I would blog on the Fatima Apparitions on or about their anniversary because I think the Fatima message is very important for Catholics, including those in whatever stages of addiction recovery they are in. (NOTE: even though the publication date should read “October 13, 2015,” the post was actually written in late November 2015.). Due to a variety of circumstances, including sloth and this and that and the other thing, I’m late with this piece.)

Why did this Apparition take place? The “Miracle of the Sun” happened, as promised, to prove the Apparition’s authenticity. The sun started dancing in the sky, defying all known laws of physics, and was seen many miles away (so it wasn’t a localized event.)

Perhaps it is fortuitous that I am late with this post. Why? “Aren’t you just grasping at straws, Paulcoholic, so it would seem as if you can fall down and still come up smelling like roses?” It seems I did the same thing last year: Last year’s late post on the Solar Miracle. Well, maybe. BUT, think about some of the events that have happened in the world these past few weeks, after this post should originally have come out. The terror attacks in Paris, Lebanon and Nigeria. World War III probably getting warmed up in the Middle East. An increasingly insane US Presidential election campaign season. These are all frightening and worrisome things.

What happens when you are scared, at least when you were a child? You’d go running to your Mom!

Mary is our Mother. She cares for us and since we are the adopted children of God, we are Christ’s brothers and sisters, and thus we are her children, too.

Pope St. John Paul II greeted the world upon his appearance to the world as Pope with the words, “Be not afraid.” It is said that those words in various forms appear 365 times in the Bible, thus letting us know that we are not to fear whatever is going on.

The Miracle of the Sun was frightening. Imagine if you were there, you see the sun dance and whirl about, seemingly plummeting to the Earth. But no one was hurt. No humans were harmed in the occurrence of this apparition. The fact that it happened was a reassurance to all of the reality of the apparition and of Mary. (Satan would NOT ahave had the power to do this.)

And so some words to all: “Be not afraid.” It is hard. But having Faith is. No matter what is going to be happening in the upcoming years, have Faith. Hold fast to the Church, grab your rosaries and USE THEM! pray the Rosary daily. Get the Diary of St. Faustina (see: St. Faustina and Divine Mercy. Make use of the upcoming “Year of Mercy”.

Easy? No, especially if we rely on our own resources. This is why we also need God’s graces, which are there for the asking. Pray. Go to Mass. Go to Confession. Read Scripture (a good CATHOLIC Bible.) Pray some more.

Be not afraid…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Catholic New Evangelization Guide: Share your Faith with the World

Posted on by

Miriam Westen, editor of Catholic News World has recently published a new book entitled: Catholic New Evangelization Guide: Share your Faith with the World. The reason I’m mentioning this is that I have a chapter in it!

Chapter 8 in by yours truly and it is about “Using the New Evangelization to Reach Out to Those Trapped in Sin.” Lots of handy ideas on using social media and technology to help other sinners like yourself.

From the CreateSpace Page: “Catholic New Evangelization Guide – Is an Amazing Book for Everyone! It has Conversion and Evangelization stories from people of different backrounds. Offering insights on History, the Church, Youth, Music, Motherhood, Priestly, Seminarian, Alcoholism, Social Media, Education and more! Makes a great Gift for Anyone! Especially your Church family.”

I’m covering the “alcoholism” angle. Buy it! Buy several, give them out as gifts! Christmas is coming in a few months!

And speaking of buying books as gifts:

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Faustina and Divine Mercy

Posted on by

October 5th is the Feast of St. Faustina Kowalska. She is the “Apostle of Divine Mercy” and for several years prior to her death in 1938 had received interior locutions from Jesus and the Blessed Virgin Mary. The Lord commanded her to write her experiences. The resulting book, “Divine Mercy in My Soul” is a modern day classic of Catholic spirituality and mysticism. As with all such Church-approved things, there is nothing in her Diary that adds anything “new” to divine revelation. Like similar matters, it serves to exhort us to do things we already should be doing but have strayed from. It is a spiritual autobiography detailing her life from her youth through to just before her death, a wonderful description of a life lived according to the Will of God.

The Diary also serves as the primary means by which the devotion to “Divine Mercy” spreads. The devotion consists mainly of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy prayers and Novena, the Diary, Divine Mercy Sunday (which is the Second Sunday of Easter), Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. Jesus desired that this devotion be established and made known to prepare humankind for His Second Coming, as well as to encourage humanity to repent and return to God.

The Diary beautifully describes the love and mercy of God. I feel it is a text that every sober Catholic should have. It often serves to lift my spirits in ways other books do not (save for the Gospels.) When I read it I feel like it is a long, soothing letter of comfort, consoling me when times are difficult.

St. Faustina is a classic case how how the Lord selects the poor and marginalized of society, the uneducated and lowly, to carry out His work.

1 Corinthians 1:27 “But God has chosen the foolish of the world, so that he may confound the wise. And God has chosen the weak of the world, so that he may confound the strong.

And God has chosen the ignoble and contemptible of the world, those who are nothing, so that he may reduce to nothing those who are something.”
via: The Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

Here is a quick biography of her: St. Faustina bio.

You can buy the Diary at this link, as well as other related items. I get NO commission on any sale, this is just a service of mine. If think you’ll benefit, then here’s where you can get it! This is a link to an “official” gift shop.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Year of Mercy and what it means for us sober Catholics

Posted on by

Some time earlier this year Pope Francis declared a Jubilee “Year of Mercy”. To quote an article
from the Houston Catholic Worker: “In the ancient tradition of a Year of Jubilee, slaves and prisoners were to be freed, debts would be forgiven, land and possessions would be returned to their owners, and the mercies of God would be particularly manifest. (Lev. 25:8-13). (BOLD emphasis is mine.)

As Catholics, I feel it is our duty to fully explore the opportunities to participate in this “Year of Mercy.” Whether it is attending Mass and going to Confession more frequently to taking up the Divine Mercy Chaplet and perhaps studying St. Faustina’s Diary, to performing the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy more often, perhaps taking up Eucharistic Adoration in a nearby parish; I feel that in doing so we just might wield a very powerful weapon in the spiritual warfare that is going on. And as us sober Catholics know all too well, there is a spiritual battle going on everywhere and quite often we and other alcoholics and addicts are targets and victims.

With all the talk of shemitahs, Blood Moons, and the centenary of Fatima is just less than two years off, an increase of “mercy,” flowing from Heaven through the offices of the Church and our personal participation in the Year, just may be the thing we need right now. (Don’t ask me what a “Shemitah” is, please look it up. Same for “Blood Moons.” Be careful, many of the sources are non-Catholic. But, I have been writing about Fatima!)

Who saw this “Year of Mercy” thing coming, anyway? The world is rapidly deteriorating, Christians are being targeted by terrorists, crazed gunmen and “civilized” governments, and hope seems to be withering away. And out of the blue the Holy Father calls for a Jubilee Year of Mercy.

I say we make the most of it. The torrents of Divine Mercy gushing forth from the Lord can only be good for us and our recovery, and more importantly for our countries and the world.

For other ideas on how to participate, there is the Calendar of Events during the year: Year of Mercy Calendar. One can take a look at each event and figure out how to incorporate it into our spiritual life. Otherwise, reread this post and read up on the Year of Mercy. I highly recommend getting the Diary of St. Faustina “Divine Mercy in My Soul, and read it, as well as study it! (You can buy it at this link, I get NO commission. This is a link to an “official” gift shop.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Transitus

Posted on by

Today is October 3rd and that is the vigil of the Feast Day of St. Francis of Assisi. For Franciscans worldwide, tonight is the “Transitus,”or the ritual observance of his death.

I won’t go into details as to what transpires during the ritual, as I am not a Franciscan and thus have never participated. However, I will blog briefly on the event as it is significant for this blog in some ways.

I read up on the Transitus and various Franciscan sites and blogs variously describe the ritual observance as important as it connects Franciscans with each other – those living today and those who have gone before. That this great community is united by the observance of the death of their Order’s Founder is a wonderful lesson. It is something that can be incorporated in our lives.

“Memento Mori.” “Be mindful of your death.” In memorializing the anniversaries of when our loved ones died, we remember them as they were if their death was lingering due to age or infirmity; but we can also remember them as they had been when still vital and younger. If they died suddenly, it can be a way to “manipulate time,” they were suddenly taken from us but in or memorial observance we can “be there” in some spiritual fashion. If they died too young, well, perhaps it can be a manner in which they are brought forward in life along with us.

Our beloved dead are not forgotten, they are still with us, although in a ritualistic spiritual way. Their death is no longer some event isolated in thr past that might fade a somewhat in memory over the years. Oh, we still remember when Mom or Uncle Jimmy died, but over the years the date slowly becomes just another day in November or July.

Ritual is important. It helps organize life and mark time. “Ritual” is also the hidden word in spiRITUALity, something lost, I think, in those who eschew religion in favor of only spirituality.

As I write this, the feeling is growing within me to actually think about doing this somehow for some of my beloved dead. One way is on the Anniversary of a death is to say the “Office of the Dead” from the Church’s Liturgy of the Hours. Here is an online source: Office of the Dead.

Why is this important for Sober Catholic readers? Death is hard on everyone, but I think there may be a special hurt for people in recovery (regardless of how long clean and sober.) You were somewhat absent from their life while they were alive, because of your drinking and using. And now they’re really gone. Really hard if you owe them an amends. Doing a “transitus” for someone might help you cope with the loss, as well as “make amends.”

Perhaps I’ll think of some thing to do in addition to the Office of the Dead. Making a cemetery visit is good, if possible. Maybe readers this can offer suggestions in the comments.

NOTE: (Reblogged in slightly edited form from The Four Last Things)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)