How Catholics can conquer depression

I read an article in the Catholic Herald about How Catholics can conquer depression. I thought a particular line from it may be relevant to readers, whether or not you suffer from it:

“While the sacraments alone were never meant to cure mental afflictions like depression, they can and do play a healing role in a plan of recovery. The principle of ‘sacramentality’ in Catholic theology, based on the central Christian doctrine of the Incarnation, affirms that the material world can mediate spiritual realities. As creatures of both body and soul, we relate to God through our senses. If I’m burdened by guilt or by sins of the past (often the case in depressed persons), when I go to Confession I’m able, in a very tangible way, to hear words of absolution from the priest who is acting in the name of Christ and the Church.

Many people who have gone to Confession describe this powerful experience of psychological healing. They are able to walk out knowing with total conviction that they have indeed been forgiven, that the burden they’ve been carrying has been lifted. The Catholic sacramental system is indeed consistent with our psychological make-up: we need to hear these words of absolution in order to more tangibly experience God’s mercy. We also know that sin not only harms our relationship with God but with others as well. In Confession there is the experience a sense of reintegration with a community: the priest represents the Church, the community of Christians, with whom the penitent is reconciled. All this is powerfully healing, and lifts a burden spiritually and psychologically.”

Especially an excerpt from the first sentence: “While the sacraments alone were never meant to cure mental afflictions…” This may help to explain why many Catholics turn to the Church exclusively in their quest to conquer their addictions, and fail. Although the Sacraments are of a healing nature, it may be that they are healing along with other factors that must be undertaken. The forgiving nature of Confession will help in healing guilt and pain; and Communion may help us become closer to God and assist us in uniting our sufferings to His. Although there are many examples of how people have experienced miraculous cure after receiving Holy Communion,they are the exception rather that the rule.

So, although the Sacraments are healing, they may just provide a much needed spiritual and divine dimension to whatever else one is doing to address addiction. They also aid in recovery be helping us to reintegrate into the community. Not only do we need to be healed of our past, but also our relationships with others.

And in case anyone complains, yes, I know that addiction and depression are not the same. The causes of one may not at all be related to the other. But it is an interest of mine, and I know that many alcoholics also suffer from depression.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Reader help (no longer) needed to support Sober Catholic (UPDATE)

UPDATE: Thanks to a few readers and friends, I have received enough in donations to renew the hosting account, as well as the domain names, for three years. I am very grateful to them that they think enough of this work. So, the Sober Catholic bleg drive is over. If you were thinking of donating, but hadn’t yet, please consider some other worthy blogging endeavor, or contribute to your parish. Perhaps your parish has a website? Maybe they could use financial help with their hosting fees.

I am asking for help from readers. The various fees associated with running and maintaining this blog are due for renewal in a month, namely for web hosting and domain name registration, and I need your assistance as we cannot afford to pay them…

Bloggers sometimes bleg (“bleg” means “blog beg”) when money is needed. It could be for any reason. My wife and I have incomes, live frugally, make do with what we have and are grateful for them, but we have had some financial hits recently and the cost of renewing Sober Catholic is coming at a bad time.

So, if you appreciate the work behind this blog, the PayPal “donate” button is way over in the upper left hand corner of the blog, where it says, “Please consider donating, if you like this work.” It’s between the blog title and the “Follow me on Twitter” widget. Nearly $300 is needed (if we were to renew for the most “cost effective” term of 3 years.) Any amount donated in your one-time gift would be appreciated. If you don’t like to use PayPal, you can email me at sobercatholic at gmail dot com to obtain other contact info (or use any method in the How to find and contact me Page.) Prayers are, of course, also appreciated!

We have explored other hosting options, there are none really cheaper. In anticipating a probable common reaction, “Why don’t you just move to a free host?” That is an option of last resort, and one that I am unwilling to do for several reasons:

1) Traffic and readership would be lost. Sober Catholic was originally hosted for free, and when I went to a paid hosting service many people did not follow along, despite numerous notices left up at the old site. Also, links everywhere point to this location.

2) Paying for a host rather than going free establishes “brand name” credibility if your blog is about a service. If I only had a personal blog about my own joys and sorrows, thoughts and opinions, that would be free. But I feel that Sober Catholic deserves its own location. I don’t feel that Sober Catholic is completely mine, it also belongs to those who appreciate it and have been helped by it. I do have 2 other blogs hosted on this account, but Sober Catholic is the only reason the account exists.

3) Having its own location guarantees independence; one isn’t subject to the whims and decisions of a free host. There is greater control over what one can do if the hosting is paid for by the owner or from revenue that is generated.

As I said above, any help to defray or cover the cost is greatly appreciated. Every donation adds to the total.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Paul Sofranko (a/k/a “paulcoholic”)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Twelve Steps and Compatibility with Sacramental Confession

During my interview on the “‘On Call’ with Wendy Wiese” radio show on May 1st there was an Anonymous caller at the end who asked a question on the compatibility of the Twelve Steps with the Catholic Church’s sacramental Confession. As the call was near the end of the show, I didn’t fully engage the question. Upon listening again to the show I caught a deeper sense to Anonymous’ point. Which was:

In the Twelve Steps, you review your life and bring forward all the bad stuff you did. How is that compatible with the teaching that in Confession, God forgives and forgets your sins? I think he meant that if you’ve been confessing your sins to a priest all along, why bother going through the moral inventory of Step 4 and sharing it with another in Step 5? (As well as the follow up Steps along the way.) If God forgives and forgets in Confession, what is the point of doing the Steps?

I am assuming a few things. One, is that the person in question has not dropped the practice of the Faith during their drinking career. Many do. In the context of the caller’s question, it seems as if the hypothetical person was still going to Confession and probably confessing all of their alcoholic transgressions. This is fine. They were forgiven. The slate was clean. However, chances are they committed those sins all over again. In my experience, and in the testimony of priests who generalize what they hear in Confession, many people commit and confess the same sins time and time again, whether they are addicts or not.

Another thing: although Catholics are supposed to do a thorough Examination of Conscience in preparation for Confession, I think few actually go very deep and try and get at the underlying root causes of their sins. This is the intended purpose of the Twelve Steps, particularly the Fourth one. We have to uncover not only the bad things we’ve done, but we must understand why we did them, so as to comprehend how our alcoholism affected our lives and the lives of those around us. We do that fearless and searching moral inventory not only to clean up our past and make amends, but to see the patterns and commonalities or all of our sins. We get at what triggered our behavior so we can make the required changes in our lives. Whether our past behavior involved consistently broken relationships, an inability to hold a job, or just not being able to finish “big dreams,” we see in our Fourth Step all the bad we have done, and also why. So even though we may have confessed these sins and have been forgiven, we still need to address them in the context of the Twelve Steps.

Why? So we can forgive ourselves. That may sound trite and New Age-y, but if we do not forgive ourselves we run the risk of not being able to shed our resentments over these past failures. “We remember the past, but do not close the door on it,” to paraphrase a line from AA’s “Big Book.” We close the door on our past out of shame or fear. If we forgive ourselves, we have no need to close that door to our past. We can remember it as it made us whom we are today, and we can look ourselves in the mirror because we learned from our past. And we can bring what we learned to others.

So yes, God forgives us and forgets our sins when we go to Confession; but when we work the Twelve Steps, we can forgive and forget them, too.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Catholic Church, 12 Step Movements and Resentments

There was a question and/or comment during my interview on the “‘On Call’ with Wendy Wiese” radio show regarding the Catholic Church and the validity or efficacy of 12 Step Movements.

The basic contention of the caller (I think it was “Tom from Minnesota, the Land of 10,000 Treatment Centers”) was that I was dismissing AA and that Catholics shouldn’t use it. He suggested that because the Church sends priests and nuns to 12 Step meetings, or priests tell ordinary parishioners with a drinking problem to go to AA, that fully legitimizes the 12 Step movement and suggestions to the contrary are undeserved.

Yes, but up to a point. I think that people are automatically sent to AA because it is basically the only game in town. AA has been around since 1935, and while there are other recovery programs with a broad range of approaches, AA is the best known and is the default option because of that. It is like when you have a headache, you’re told to take an aspirin. If you have an allergic reaction to something, you go take an antihistamine. Same sort of thing; although there are other options, AA is the best known and the obvious choice for many.

The point that I have been trying to make since I began Sober Catholic in 2007 is that 12 Step movements may be a threat to your Catholic faith if you are not well grounded in it. If you have been drinking or drugging for decades, chances are good that you haven’t practiced your faith much in that time. Most likely you do not know it very well. Therefore, you are easily swayed by the notion that, “all churches are the same;” that “it doesn’t matter what you believe in, as long as you believe in something.” Many Catholics leave the Faith because they do not know what they are leaving. The caller mentioned that he has found that Catholics mostly leave because they found Jesus in other Churches. Well, the Catholic Church has a lot to answer for, bad catechesis is one of the big ones Church leaders at any level will have to account for. But the rank-and-file Catholics who leave should also attempt to know what they are leaving. No Jesus in the Catholic Church? Oh, really?? Have you looked?

Eucharist

Which leads me to another thing: virtually all alcoholics have resentments. Among Catholics, these resentments often include the Church. And yet in my many observations in the rooms of AA, ex-Catholics never seem to address these resentments versus the Church. It is almost as if they seek to maintain them in order to establish a type of credibility as “recovering Catholics,” who’s spiritual development no longer includes an archaic and stuffy “organized religion”, especially now that they’ve embraced 12 Step spirituality.

Catholics well grounded and versed in their faith don’t suffer from this. They can be exposed to 12 Step Spirituality and filter out anything incompatible with Catholicism.

Twelve Steps can be a fine way to establish one’s sobriety. After a fashion it may need to be shed. Just like you don’t need aspirin after the headache is gone, or an antihistamine once you stop sneezing, once you’ve achieved a nice level of sobriety, you may not need to continue attending meetings.

What is a “nice level of sobriety?” Perhaps once you’ve recovered what you lost (family, health, job) and have learned to react to things without the crutch of booze.

If, afterwards, you feel the need to continue meeting attendance to “give back,” then fine. Gratitude is awesome. However, if your Catholic faith has become instrumental in your sobriety, and you can maintain sobriety without meeting attendance, then maybe take advantage of this level of freedom. Since you don’t “need a meeting,” but are only going out of gratitude, then perhaps make an attempt to add something to your 12 Step work. Find the weak Catholic or ex-Catholic members of the Group, seek them out and perhaps evangelize them. Answer their questions about the faith and perhaps draw them back in. This needn’t have to be done in violation of the Traditions of the 12 Step movement, you can engage them in the little informal meetings and chats that take place outside the rooms. Show them how the Mass and the Sacraments, devotion to Saints and other traditional practices of the Faith were key in your sobriety.

Become “fishers of people.” Go after the “lost sheep.” So what, if they’re now members of a different Church? Engage them. It will take a long time, but you will be rewarded greatly by your Father in Heaven when you come Home.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Today’s appearance on “‘On Call’ with Wendy Wiese”

I was on the “‘On Call”’ with Wendy Wiese” radio show today. It went well. Wendy Wiese is an excellent host and made me feel at ease. There was a 10 minute interview with me followed by my fielding calls from the listeners.

This link is the archives of previous shows, including today’s. Just follow the instructions on the page to download the show. Or, just use this link to listen (it starts playing right away, so be sure to have headphones or else be alone: Paul Sofranko appearance for May 1, 2013.

There’s a chance I may reappear, if so, information will be posted here.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

UPDATE: I WILL be on the “On Call Show with Wendy Wiese”, for Wednesday, May 1st

UPDATE: Wendy Wiese contacted me and rescheduled me for next Wednesday. I was supposed to be on April 16th, but I cancelled a few days earlier as I was getting sick.

I will be on the “On Call Show with Wendy Wiese”, Wednesday, May 1st at 1PM CT (2PM ET)!

A description of the show, from Relevant Radio:

Wendy Wiese keeps a variety of professionals On Call™ from an array of specialized fields to support you as you live out your “domestic Church” – helping you to keep your faith at the fore in your everyday life. Focusing on the important issues that families face through the lens of our Catholic faith, you’ll hear topics ranging from Post-Abortion Syndrome, eating disorders, pornography addiction, or substance abuse to Spiritual Direction. Our experts address issues that affect normal, everyday families, and they strive to help our listeners with their own struggles – you are the most important part of the conversation. Tune in for useful information and practical advice from a Catholic perspective.

If it goes well, I’ll be a recurring guest.

For more information, here’s the show’s website: “‘On Call’ with Wendy Wiese” and Facebook Page: “‘On Call’ with Wendy Wiese Facebook Page.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Not Saints Yet

Number 9, over at Catholic Alcoholic mentioned today about a new organization for Catholics suffering from addictions. Called Not Saints Yet, it is, to quote from their website, “…a new organization whose goal is to evangelize, or re-evangelize, Catholics, especially those in recovery.”

It is run by Ken J, of the Calix Society in Philadelphia. I remember Ken J from several years ago when he was a member of Catholics in Recovery (later Recovery for Christ), a now defunct online social network for Catholics suffering from addictions.

In addition to their above-named mission of evangelizing Catholics, Not Saints Yet also seeks to become a clearinghouse of information about other organizations that are helping Catholics in recovery.

You can find more information about the Calix Society at this link.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

How can I repay the LORD for all the great good done for me?

The Responsorial Psalm for Holy Thursday’s Mass of the Lord’s Supper holds a wonderful prayer that can be used for an attitude of gratitude:

Psalm 116: 12-13; 15-17

How can I repay the LORD

for all the great good done for me?

I will raise the cup of salvation

and call on the name of the LORD.

Dear in the eyes of the LORD

is the death of his devoted.

LORD, I am your servant,

your servant, the child of your maidservant;

you have loosed my bonds.

I will offer a sacrifice of praise

and call on the name of the LORD.

I will pay my vows to the LORD

in the presence of all his people…

(Via USCCB.)

For truly, how can one “repay the LORD for all the great good done?” He has indeed “loosed my bonds” from the grip of alcohol. And forever and ever “I will offer a sacrifice of praise and call on the name of the LORD.”

Perhaps one can repay by carrying the Gospel message forward, as well as helping others realize the healing power of the Sacraments.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Seven Penitential Psalms and the Songs of the Suffering Servant

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has an excellent resource on their website for the final day of Lent, as well as for Good Friday meditations. The Seven Penitential Psalms and the Songs of the Suffering Servant are taken from their New American Bible translation.

I frequently use these in preparation for when I really need to make a good Act of Contrition; I say them all though in succession. They do take a lot out of me. Nevertheless they are very efficacious in helping me get in the right “frame of mind,” and increase my willingness to go through with the Sacrament of Confession.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

“Buy the Book: Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics” book review on Catholic Alcoholic

Number 9 over at Catholic Alcoholic has reviewed The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics, and she likes it!

You can read her review over here:

Buy the Book: Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics

(Via Catholic Alcoholic.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)