Matt Talbot Way of Recovery on Facebook and Google+

I have been running the Matt Talbot Way of Recovery email discussion group on Yahoo since December 2011, and like past endeavors of mine to establish a Catholic-based recovery discussion community, it has its busy times and ghost-town echo chamber times. I am debating on whether or not to shut it down. Since it is hardly used, it would be one less thing for me to keep track of. If it was busy, and had other moderators, I’d be keeping it around. So…

There are no immediate plans to do either, but as a way of transitioning to something new, I have done two things: revive the Matt Talbot Way of Recovery on Google+ by soliciting assistance (and getting it!!!!) and inviting people to join; and create a Matt Talbot Way of Recovery Group on Facebook.

There are differences between the two, and these reflect some differences between Facebook and Google+. The Facebook Group is “Secret,” meaning that you cannot find it in Facebook Search, nor can access it via the URL. Only members can see it and see what is posted in it. I decided to create it as a Secret Group as the alternatives may be too “privacy-invasive” and anonymity-threatening to some people. A “Closed” Facebook Group, for example, is searchable and findable by non-members, and non-members can see who is in it. Still, a threat to anonymity as people on Facebook associate with family, friends and co-workers and may still not want the current or past addiction known. So, if you’re on Facebook and would like to join, your alcoholism would still be kept secret from anyone else.

In order to be a member of the Facebook Group, you have to be added to it by an owner/moderator. So far, that is just me, and for me to add you, you have to be my Friend on Facebook. Here I am on Facebook and after getting there, send me a Friend request along with a message as to why you’re befriending me.

The Matt Talbot Way of Recovery on Google+ is a “Private” Community, meaning it is searchable and findable by people looking for such a thing, but non-members cannot see who is in it, nor what is posted there. I tested this by asking my wife to look for it. She found it, but just saw Matt’s picture and the Community name, with an “Ask to Join” button for prospective members to click on.

In order to be a member of the Google+ Community, go here: Matt Talbot Way of Recovery on Google+. Click on the “Ask to Join” button and you’ll be approved (or maybe not 😉 ) by myself or the other guy who moderates it.

Why possibly kill off the Yahoo Group only to create the MTW on FB and G+? I spend a lot of time on the two social networks and it is easier for me to keep an eye on them and participate. If the MTW on these nets follows the path of previous endeavors, I am less likely to shut it down for lack of use. Unless I abandon G+ and FB (unlikely), as long as I am a member, the MTW will remain alive there.

New requests to join the MTW on Yahoo may be met with requests to just join it on FB and/or G+.

If you’re a new member of the MTW on Facebook or Google+, I can use moderating (and promoting) help!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Sacred Heart and Alcoholism

Barefoot’s World had a piece on how Sr. Ignatia created the “Sacred Heart Badge” for those admitted to St. Thomas Hospital as an incentive to maintain their recovery and as a “merit badge” to show their progress. Number 9 wrote about it earlier, also quoting the same source: Sacred Heart Badge (the 1st white chip).

The Sacred Heart is an old Catholic devotion dating back centuries. It focuses on the human nature of Jesus (the heart long being considered the center or source of human emotion). As Jesus had become human to redeem us for our sins, devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus concerns the Divine Love of God for us, and our response to that is our reparation for our sins. We sin, we repent and we make reparation.

In light of this, that the Sacred Heart was chosen as a symbol of recovery is not surprising. In our recovery, we are making reparation for the sins we had committed in our addictions. And in our recovery, we accept and respond to the love God has for us. We know we messed up and abused the gifts that God gave to us. But despite all of that, He still loves us as His prodigal children and always takes us back no matter how bad our sins. As long as we repent and try to amend our lives we are on the right path.

No sin is greater than God’s ability to forgive. Our repentance has to be sincere, and we have to make a best effort at amending. But no matter how evil, we can be forgiven. No matter how often we fall, we get right back up.

I wrote this as Friday is the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

(Via About Catholicism.)

Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

(Via CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Dorotheus

Earlier this week there appeared in the Office of Readings portion of the Liturgy of the Hours an excerpt from the teachings of St. Dorotheus, abbot. Every year when these show up in the Readings, I am struck by how relevant and similar they are to things you read in recovery texts.

The link in the first paragraph is to the entire collection of posts I have written about him in years past. Discover St. Dorotheus!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena To The Sacred Heart Of Jesus

Today is the first day of the Sacred Heart Novena. As a courtesy, I will be posting it daily from the site “Pray More Novenas,” but not here. I will instead be posting it to the Sober Catholic Blog Page on Facebook and also on theSober Catholic Blog Page on Google+. So please go to either Page every day for the Novena Prayers. In fact, if you are on Facebook or Google+, “Like” or “Circle” the Pages, as there is activity on them that isn’t here on the blog (like inspirational quotes, pictures and other things.)

The Sacred Heart is an old and venerable Catholic devotion, particularly regarding conversion of heart and mind and in reparation for sins. It was also a very important aspect of early Alcoholics Anonymous, as “Sacred Heart Badges” were awarded to recovering alcoholics at St. Thomas’ Hospital in Akron, Ohio by Sister Ignatia (a close ally and partner to Dr. Bob, AA’s co-founder). These badges later inspired AA’s medallions and coins, awarded to alcoholics on various sobriety anniversaries.

NOVENA to the SACRED HEART of JESUS PRAYERS

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Eleven years sober, today

Today I celebrate 11 years of sobriety. It is also the Feast day of St. Rita of Cascia, known as the patron saint of lost causes. Based upon my early struggles with trying to figure out AA and to stop drinking, she is a fitting patron for me. Her, as well as Matt Talbot, who is the usual patron saint for ex-drunks.

I certainly felt like a lost cause.

It has been an interesting 11 years, I have been through a lot, both good and bad. And despite not having been a regular “meeting-goer” since 2004, have had no greater or lesser desire to drink. And this is even in spite of the many fundamental life changes that have occurred which quite often spell “relapse” in people. From the pit of despair when my Mom died in 2005, to the heights of happiness and hope with my marriage to the wonderful Rose in 2008, it’s been one wild ride. Jesus, thank you. Holy Spirit, thank you. Blessed Virgin Mary, thank you. St. Rita of Cascia, thanks! Matt Talbot, you too, “Thanks!” And me, for remembering to “practice all these principles in my affairs,” I thank me! 😉

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Matt Talbot site in Polish!

The creator of the Matt Talbot Facebook Page also has a website for Matt in Polish:

Strona poświęcona życiu Czcigodnego Sługi Bożego Mateusza Talbota

(Via Mateusza Talbota.)

So if you are Polish or speak the language, support the site!

Thank you!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

How Catholics can conquer depression

I read an article in the Catholic Herald about How Catholics can conquer depression. I thought a particular line from it may be relevant to readers, whether or not you suffer from it:

“While the sacraments alone were never meant to cure mental afflictions like depression, they can and do play a healing role in a plan of recovery. The principle of ‘sacramentality’ in Catholic theology, based on the central Christian doctrine of the Incarnation, affirms that the material world can mediate spiritual realities. As creatures of both body and soul, we relate to God through our senses. If I’m burdened by guilt or by sins of the past (often the case in depressed persons), when I go to Confession I’m able, in a very tangible way, to hear words of absolution from the priest who is acting in the name of Christ and the Church.

Many people who have gone to Confession describe this powerful experience of psychological healing. They are able to walk out knowing with total conviction that they have indeed been forgiven, that the burden they’ve been carrying has been lifted. The Catholic sacramental system is indeed consistent with our psychological make-up: we need to hear these words of absolution in order to more tangibly experience God’s mercy. We also know that sin not only harms our relationship with God but with others as well. In Confession there is the experience a sense of reintegration with a community: the priest represents the Church, the community of Christians, with whom the penitent is reconciled. All this is powerfully healing, and lifts a burden spiritually and psychologically.”

Especially an excerpt from the first sentence: “While the sacraments alone were never meant to cure mental afflictions…” This may help to explain why many Catholics turn to the Church exclusively in their quest to conquer their addictions, and fail. Although the Sacraments are of a healing nature, it may be that they are healing along with other factors that must be undertaken. The forgiving nature of Confession will help in healing guilt and pain; and Communion may help us become closer to God and assist us in uniting our sufferings to His. Although there are many examples of how people have experienced miraculous cure after receiving Holy Communion,they are the exception rather that the rule.

So, although the Sacraments are healing, they may just provide a much needed spiritual and divine dimension to whatever else one is doing to address addiction. They also aid in recovery be helping us to reintegrate into the community. Not only do we need to be healed of our past, but also our relationships with others.

And in case anyone complains, yes, I know that addiction and depression are not the same. The causes of one may not at all be related to the other. But it is an interest of mine, and I know that many alcoholics also suffer from depression.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Reader help (no longer) needed to support Sober Catholic (UPDATE)

UPDATE: Thanks to a few readers and friends, I have received enough in donations to renew the hosting account, as well as the domain names, for three years. I am very grateful to them that they think enough of this work. So, the Sober Catholic bleg drive is over. If you were thinking of donating, but hadn’t yet, please consider some other worthy blogging endeavor, or contribute to your parish. Perhaps your parish has a website? Maybe they could use financial help with their hosting fees.

I am asking for help from readers. The various fees associated with running and maintaining this blog are due for renewal in a month, namely for web hosting and domain name registration, and I need your assistance as we cannot afford to pay them…

Bloggers sometimes bleg (“bleg” means “blog beg”) when money is needed. It could be for any reason. My wife and I have incomes, live frugally, make do with what we have and are grateful for them, but we have had some financial hits recently and the cost of renewing Sober Catholic is coming at a bad time.

So, if you appreciate the work behind this blog, the PayPal “donate” button is way over in the upper left hand corner of the blog, where it says, “Please consider donating, if you like this work.” It’s between the blog title and the “Follow me on Twitter” widget. Nearly $300 is needed (if we were to renew for the most “cost effective” term of 3 years.) Any amount donated in your one-time gift would be appreciated. If you don’t like to use PayPal, you can email me at sobercatholic at gmail dot com to obtain other contact info (or use any method in the How to find and contact me Page.) Prayers are, of course, also appreciated!

We have explored other hosting options, there are none really cheaper. In anticipating a probable common reaction, “Why don’t you just move to a free host?” That is an option of last resort, and one that I am unwilling to do for several reasons:

1) Traffic and readership would be lost. Sober Catholic was originally hosted for free, and when I went to a paid hosting service many people did not follow along, despite numerous notices left up at the old site. Also, links everywhere point to this location.

2) Paying for a host rather than going free establishes “brand name” credibility if your blog is about a service. If I only had a personal blog about my own joys and sorrows, thoughts and opinions, that would be free. But I feel that Sober Catholic deserves its own location. I don’t feel that Sober Catholic is completely mine, it also belongs to those who appreciate it and have been helped by it. I do have 2 other blogs hosted on this account, but Sober Catholic is the only reason the account exists.

3) Having its own location guarantees independence; one isn’t subject to the whims and decisions of a free host. There is greater control over what one can do if the hosting is paid for by the owner or from revenue that is generated.

As I said above, any help to defray or cover the cost is greatly appreciated. Every donation adds to the total.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Paul Sofranko (a/k/a “paulcoholic”)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Twelve Steps and Compatibility with Sacramental Confession

During my interview on the “‘On Call’ with Wendy Wiese” radio show on May 1st there was an Anonymous caller at the end who asked a question on the compatibility of the Twelve Steps with the Catholic Church’s sacramental Confession. As the call was near the end of the show, I didn’t fully engage the question. Upon listening again to the show I caught a deeper sense to Anonymous’ point. Which was:

In the Twelve Steps, you review your life and bring forward all the bad stuff you did. How is that compatible with the teaching that in Confession, God forgives and forgets your sins? I think he meant that if you’ve been confessing your sins to a priest all along, why bother going through the moral inventory of Step 4 and sharing it with another in Step 5? (As well as the follow up Steps along the way.) If God forgives and forgets in Confession, what is the point of doing the Steps?

I am assuming a few things. One, is that the person in question has not dropped the practice of the Faith during their drinking career. Many do. In the context of the caller’s question, it seems as if the hypothetical person was still going to Confession and probably confessing all of their alcoholic transgressions. This is fine. They were forgiven. The slate was clean. However, chances are they committed those sins all over again. In my experience, and in the testimony of priests who generalize what they hear in Confession, many people commit and confess the same sins time and time again, whether they are addicts or not.

Another thing: although Catholics are supposed to do a thorough Examination of Conscience in preparation for Confession, I think few actually go very deep and try and get at the underlying root causes of their sins. This is the intended purpose of the Twelve Steps, particularly the Fourth one. We have to uncover not only the bad things we’ve done, but we must understand why we did them, so as to comprehend how our alcoholism affected our lives and the lives of those around us. We do that fearless and searching moral inventory not only to clean up our past and make amends, but to see the patterns and commonalities or all of our sins. We get at what triggered our behavior so we can make the required changes in our lives. Whether our past behavior involved consistently broken relationships, an inability to hold a job, or just not being able to finish “big dreams,” we see in our Fourth Step all the bad we have done, and also why. So even though we may have confessed these sins and have been forgiven, we still need to address them in the context of the Twelve Steps.

Why? So we can forgive ourselves. That may sound trite and New Age-y, but if we do not forgive ourselves we run the risk of not being able to shed our resentments over these past failures. “We remember the past, but do not close the door on it,” to paraphrase a line from AA’s “Big Book.” We close the door on our past out of shame or fear. If we forgive ourselves, we have no need to close that door to our past. We can remember it as it made us whom we are today, and we can look ourselves in the mirror because we learned from our past. And we can bring what we learned to others.

So yes, God forgives us and forgets our sins when we go to Confession; but when we work the Twelve Steps, we can forgive and forget them, too.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Catholic Church, 12 Step Movements and Resentments

There was a question and/or comment during my interview on the “‘On Call’ with Wendy Wiese” radio show regarding the Catholic Church and the validity or efficacy of 12 Step Movements.

The basic contention of the caller (I think it was “Tom from Minnesota, the Land of 10,000 Treatment Centers”) was that I was dismissing AA and that Catholics shouldn’t use it. He suggested that because the Church sends priests and nuns to 12 Step meetings, or priests tell ordinary parishioners with a drinking problem to go to AA, that fully legitimizes the 12 Step movement and suggestions to the contrary are undeserved.

Yes, but up to a point. I think that people are automatically sent to AA because it is basically the only game in town. AA has been around since 1935, and while there are other recovery programs with a broad range of approaches, AA is the best known and is the default option because of that. It is like when you have a headache, you’re told to take an aspirin. If you have an allergic reaction to something, you go take an antihistamine. Same sort of thing; although there are other options, AA is the best known and the obvious choice for many.

The point that I have been trying to make since I began Sober Catholic in 2007 is that 12 Step movements may be a threat to your Catholic faith if you are not well grounded in it. If you have been drinking or drugging for decades, chances are good that you haven’t practiced your faith much in that time. Most likely you do not know it very well. Therefore, you are easily swayed by the notion that, “all churches are the same;” that “it doesn’t matter what you believe in, as long as you believe in something.” Many Catholics leave the Faith because they do not know what they are leaving. The caller mentioned that he has found that Catholics mostly leave because they found Jesus in other Churches. Well, the Catholic Church has a lot to answer for, bad catechesis is one of the big ones Church leaders at any level will have to account for. But the rank-and-file Catholics who leave should also attempt to know what they are leaving. No Jesus in the Catholic Church? Oh, really?? Have you looked?

Eucharist

Which leads me to another thing: virtually all alcoholics have resentments. Among Catholics, these resentments often include the Church. And yet in my many observations in the rooms of AA, ex-Catholics never seem to address these resentments versus the Church. It is almost as if they seek to maintain them in order to establish a type of credibility as “recovering Catholics,” who’s spiritual development no longer includes an archaic and stuffy “organized religion”, especially now that they’ve embraced 12 Step spirituality.

Catholics well grounded and versed in their faith don’t suffer from this. They can be exposed to 12 Step Spirituality and filter out anything incompatible with Catholicism.

Twelve Steps can be a fine way to establish one’s sobriety. After a fashion it may need to be shed. Just like you don’t need aspirin after the headache is gone, or an antihistamine once you stop sneezing, once you’ve achieved a nice level of sobriety, you may not need to continue attending meetings.

What is a “nice level of sobriety?” Perhaps once you’ve recovered what you lost (family, health, job) and have learned to react to things without the crutch of booze.

If, afterwards, you feel the need to continue meeting attendance to “give back,” then fine. Gratitude is awesome. However, if your Catholic faith has become instrumental in your sobriety, and you can maintain sobriety without meeting attendance, then maybe take advantage of this level of freedom. Since you don’t “need a meeting,” but are only going out of gratitude, then perhaps make an attempt to add something to your 12 Step work. Find the weak Catholic or ex-Catholic members of the Group, seek them out and perhaps evangelize them. Answer their questions about the faith and perhaps draw them back in. This needn’t have to be done in violation of the Traditions of the 12 Step movement, you can engage them in the little informal meetings and chats that take place outside the rooms. Show them how the Mass and the Sacraments, devotion to Saints and other traditional practices of the Faith were key in your sobriety.

Become “fishers of people.” Go after the “lost sheep.” So what, if they’re now members of a different Church? Engage them. It will take a long time, but you will be rewarded greatly by your Father in Heaven when you come Home.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)