Recovering Catholics

One thing has repeatedly disturbed me in the over 10 years of sobriety that I have.

That thing is the phrase “Recovering Catholic.”

I encountered that phrase quite a lot yesterday and today when I revisited an online recovery community called In The Rooms. I joined a few years ago, never did much with it, but recently felt called to see it again and maybe participate more.

One thing that I hope to do this time around is seek out members of my Faith. My Faith has been extremely important to me in my recovery from alcohol. My Catholicism is tightly wrapped up in my experience, strength and hope.  I figure that if I can connect to other Catholics here, I might find more of a reason to stay. Not that I am uninterested in non-Catholic members, far from it, I’ll be a friend with anyone who is sincere. But I may find an additional incentive to stick around if I can meet other fellow Catholics.

And so I did a search up there in the search area for “Catholic.” I found a bunch of people. It seems that the ITR search engine found anyone who had the term “Catholic” in his or her profile.

And often the word “Catholic” was right after the word “Recovering.”

To me, that term is mean-spirited and hurtful. It also means that the people identifying themselves as one have unresolved issues with the Church. What do 12 Step Programs say about such things? I forget the exact quote in AA’s “Big Book,” but there is something in it about how anger and resentment are two things that alcoholics (and by modern extension, any addict) cannot afford.

They are dangerous landmines. These unresolved issues are just waiting to bite you and perhaps be the trigger for a relapse. Any resentment or unresolved issue needs to be addressed.

Why the term “Recovered Catholic” anyway? Catholicism is an ancient and deep religion and spirituality that has been one of the primary architects of Western civilization. There is much within it that is useful to anyone in recovery. If a person has been harmed by the Church, whether by abuse (of any kind), or they were raised “too strict,” or they have difficulties with the Church’s teachings, all these need to be explored and dealt with.

Regarding abuse: individuals caused it. Not the Church as an institution. Granted, the Church badly fumbled and stumbled in reforming and dealing with abuse. Those who abused, covered up the abuse, and did other wrongs will eventually suffer just punishment. I am by no means soft-pedaling a serious and critical issue. But the lasting anger and resentment that victims feel years later are hardly a “healing.” There are resources available with the Church and outside that can assist people in healing from abuse. It may take years, but the process should be started, and take as long as it needs to take. Otherwise you’re never completely “recovered” from what happened.

If they were raised by “too strict” parents (or taught by too “tough” nuns), so what? That was the parent’s fault. Why did they feel so strongly about the Faith that they drove it home so hard? Perhaps you can learn from authentic and legitimate Catholic sources as to what the Church teach, and more importantly why She teaches that. Your eyes, heart and mind may be opened. Tell you the truth, I was raised Catholic by my parents, my father was rather strict (less so with me than with my much older siblings). I had enough and left the Church. I wandered about a spiritual desert for maybe 15 years before returning. I am grateful that I did. The Church saved my life. Maintaining a harsh attitude against the Church for how Her teachings were inculcated in you is hardly a sign of one in a good recovery (from an addiction. Again that “resentment” word.)

If it is difficulty with Church teachings, then the same advice: learn from authentic and legitimate Catholic sources as to what the Church teaches, and more importantly why. You may understand.

This all takes honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. It also takes humility.

Many people in recovery find their religious faith (Catholic or otherwise) to be of immense help. Going 12 Step-only does not always work, many people need something more. To identify yourself in a manner that bashes another religion is counter-productive and just plain impolite. It is harmful to others, particularly members of that Faith to whom it may be important), and ultimately paints yourself as an individual who may have a shaky recovery (no matter how long sober and clean.)

If you cannot fully deal with and resolve issues from your past, then how can you be of help to others?

The point is, that no matter what the source is for a person’s use of the term “Recovering Catholic,” it does signify something that needs to be addressed and resolved. Something deep inside is still hurting. Honesty and humility are useful tools in doing this. You may not ever return to the Catholic Church, but perhaps the hate, anger and resentment will fade.

Forgiveness and perhaps even reconciliation are ultimately needed. Many “in the rooms” say the Lord’s Prayer during meetings, or on their own. You may want to take a look at the line towards the end:

“And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others who trespass against us.”

It basically means that God will not forgive you of your sins against Him or against others, unless you also forgive others of their sins against you. It is tough. Forgiveness may be the toughest thing anyone can do. If it was easy, the world would be a far more peaceful place.

Some things to ponder.

If any reader is a member of ITR, here is my profile at “In The Rooms”.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

September with St. Francis DeSales

I will be reposting some messages from the Oblates of St. Francis DeSales’ Facebook Page on the Sober Catholic blog’s FB page. If any of you are on Facebook, please go to Sober Catholic Blog on Facebook and “Like” it, and you’ll see the daily postings. If you are fearful that liking that Page may harm your anonymity, then go to Oblates of St. Francis de Sales Facebook Page and “Like” the Oblate’s own Page. Or you can do both, as they also post other stuff on his writings.

The Oblates are, I guess, trying to introduce a larger audience to his writings, and are using September as a means.

I missed it when it started on September 1st, I will post the ones I missed through today’s to get caught up. St. Francis DeSales’ writings, especially his “Introduction to the Devout Life,” is good reading for anyone wanting spiritual development.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Quick Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary prayers

Yesterday I posted these on the Sober Catholic Blog Facebook Page. I am reposting them here:

The First Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary: The Agony in the Garden. “Lord, take this Cup from me, but not my will, let your will be done.”

The Second Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary: The Scourging at the Pillar. “May my remorse, and the rending of my heart, be like scourges, purifying my soul.”

The Third Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary: The Crowning with Thorns. “May my mental anguish and pain be like a heartfelt prayer rising up to You.”

The Fourth Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary: Jesus Carries His Cross. “Lord, give me the strength to bear the Cross I am burdened with.”

The Fifth Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary: Jesus Dies on the Cross. “May I die unto self, so that a new person may rise.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

54 Day Rosary Novenas

The Rosary has been an important part of my devotional and spiritual life ever since I sobered up and reverted to the Church in 2001/02. I have said it daily (most of the time 😉 ) and have even used it as a part of Novena prayers.

One thing I hadn’t done until this year was say a 54-day Rosary Novena. This is mainly due to my feeling that normal novenas take a lot out of me. I don’t know why, maybe it is the stress of maintaining it daily for 9 days. This is any novena, Rosary or otherwise. There is an irrational fear that if I skip a day, the prayers and petitions are wasted (I don’t think they are.)

And a ROSARY Novena, not just for the usual nine days, but FIFTY-FOUR?!?!?!? Seemingly impossible! Out of the question!

But I tried it earlier this year, twice. And some strange things happened, both times it felt easy. No stress or strain of just getting through nine days. It was as if I was sailing through the days. Also, although the petitions have not been fully answered, yet (they’re doozies), I do feel that movement is being made and that things are sorting out towards resolutions that I will be happy with. God’s will works in mysterious ways.

So, what exactly is a 54 day Novena? It is simply saying three consecutive Rosary Novenas in petition for a favor or intention, (that’s 27 days) followed by three consecutive Rosary Novenas in thanksgiving for whatever God’s will was in regards to the petition (there’s the other 27 days. Total: 54).

This means it is an act of faith and trust, you are thanking God for His response without waiting to see what His answer is.

I am starting another 54 day Novena. There is a critical US Presidential election this year (every US Presidential election has seemed “critical,” at least going back to 2000. I really am starting to think that democracy is overrated and that we should take a look at a monarchy again). Without divulging who I’m voting for, I have created “Events” in Facebook, Google+ and ProLifeBook, listing the Novena and how to say it.

Here’s the text of the Event:

“For Catholics and other interested Christians: September 14th is the Feast of the Triumph of the Cross (a/k/a the Exaltation of the Cross). This is a fitting day to begin a 54 day Rosary Novena for God’s will to prevail in the upcoming USA Presidential election, which is November 6th, (54 days after the Novena begins.)

If you do not know how to pray a 54 day Rosary Novena, it is simple: you pray 3 consecutive 9 day Rosary Novenas in petition for some favor or intention, followed by 3 consecutive 9 day Rosary Novenas in thanksgiving for God’s answer (whatever it might be.)

This means it is an act of faith and trust, you are thanking God for His response without waiting for it.

If you do not know how to pray the Rosary, here is a handy link: How to Pray the Rosary. You can also download a PDF image file here: How to pray the Rosary PDF. In addition, here is a link showing how the Rosary is rooted in Sacred Scripture: Scriptural Rosary.

This event is also listed on Facebook; on Google+; as well as on ProLifeBook

So, if you are on those social networks, invite friends and spread the news!!”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Future of the Matt Talbot Way of Recovery

I have been thinking over the future of the Yahoo Group, Matt Talbot Way of Recovery.

It appears to be going in much the same way as previous incarnations of it. For those not in the know, I started “Catholics in Recovery” (later dropping the “in”) in 2008, which lasted until 2010. The service it was on, Ning.com, went to a paying model and we couldn’t afford it. I then renamed it “Recovery for Christ”, purchased a domain name and loaded it on a server I host my blogs on. It lasted until 2011. (See: Sober Catholic: Recovery for Christ is shutting down)

In all of these, there’d be periods of activity interspersed with periods of inactivity. But mostly inactivity. But for some reason I’d persevere.

This is the 3rd version of a recovery forum for Catholics struggling with alcoholism and other addictions that I’ve put together. It may be the last. I am NOT pulling the plug, but I am thinking of altering its focus.

I posed a question in the MTW as to the possibility of starting a discussion forum elsewhere than on Yahoo(there are free forums offered here and there). A stand-alone discussion forum website, no money is needed for hosting, and they offer decent functions.

I WOULD ONLY BOTHER SETTING IT UP IF I HAVE ADMINISTRATIVE and MODERATION ASSISTANCE!

Basically, I would want the site to continue on if something were ever to happen to me. When I had CR and R4C, if I died, so would the networks as no one else had admin or moderator status and no one but me had the admin passwords.

But I usually had insufficient help. No complaints, as the Sober Catholic post I linked to above has my take and confessions regarding that.

I was thinking that a standalone discussion forum, nothing fancy, would serve to aid in long-term discussions.

In the Yahoo forums, older discussions tend to fade away too quickly. A discussion forum is better suited for this.

The Yahoo Group would continue on as a sort of 911/emergency “I’m thinkin’ of drinkin’” hotline, as well as a quick accountability platform.

Someone on the MTW recently mentioned the idea of chatrooms. That has never been successful on CR or R4C. I am open to something if it is doable.

Anyway, I am just tossing this out there. Any thoughts?

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Religious solutions to alcoholism

Many 12 Steppers usually scoff at “religious” solutions to addiction, and
perhaps rightly so due to the low success rate (forgetting that AA has a very
low success rate, too.) Maybe they also think that religious observance is pointless
and is also an “easier, softer, way.” HA!

I think the main reason that religious solutions do not work is that they fail
to directly address the root cause of the addiction: that within each alcoholic
and addict there is something wrong with how the world and environment is perceived
or related to and how to properly react or cope with that. Alcohol addressees that,
although in a bad way.

In AA’s Big Book there is a line towards the end about how AA taught the writer
how to “handle sobriety.” In AA meetings I have heard quite often how the Steps
teach us how to alter or change they way we react to things. I believe that is the
same thing as “handling sobriety.”

I don’t think all the Masses and Rosaries and Divine Mercy Chaplets in the world
will work for anyone UNLESS they also believe in the healing power of Jesus and the
sacraments AND also believe that prayer is a union with God. This also pretty much
mandates Scripture reading. Pondering the Gospels, the NT Letters, the
Psalms and the Wisdom Books (Psalms, Wisdom, Proverbs, Sirach, Song of Songs and
Ecclesiastes) can help in changing how we react to things.

Scripture contains lessons for life and living. AA has their slogans, but the
Bible has more potent “sayings” in Wisdom, Proverbs, Sirach and the rest.

Add in reading the Catechism of the Catholic Church, and you have another powerful
tool in conversion (for that is what “handling sobriety” and “changing how you think”
amounts to).

This post was inspired by a recent discussion on the Matt Talbot Way of Recovery.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Maximilian Kolbe Novena for Alcoholics and Addicts

August 6th also marks the start of a Novena to St. Maximilian Kolbe . It ends August 14th, his feast day.

Here is a Novena prayer you can use,

“O Lord Jesus Christ, who said, “greater love than this no man has that a man lay down his life for his friends,” through the intercession of St. Maximilian Kolbe whose life illustrated such love, we beseech You to grant us out petitions. . . (mention your petitions).

Through the Militia of the Immaculata movement, which Maximilian founded, he spread a fervent devotion to Our Lady throughout the world. He gave up his life for a total stranger and loved his persecutors, giving us an example of unselfish love for all men, a love which was inspired by true devotion to Mary.
Grant O Lord Jesus, that we too may give ourselves entirely without reserve to the love and service of our Heavenly Queen in order to better love and serve our fellowman in imitation of your humble servant, Maximilian. Amen.”

Courtesy: Consecration.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

August: A Month for TWO Lenten disciplines

Today is August 6th, the Feast of the Transfiguration of Our Lord. It also marks the beginning of what I call “Second Chance Lent.” The Transfiguration is when Jesus went up Mt. Tabor with three of His disciples and revealed Himself in His Glorified Body and also conferred with Moses and Elijah concerning His upcoming Passion. Forty days after today is the Feast of the Triumph of the Cross (or Exaltation of the Cross). Jesus’ “Triumph” was the original Good Friday, the Exaltation is another reminder by the Church of the central importance the Cross has. Without the Cross, there is no Resurrection.

For us alcoholics, there’s no recovery without the painful path of learning not to drink and how to handle sobriety.

I wrote about “Second Chance Lent” right here:

“Second Chance Lent” is Coming Up!

In the middle of the month, a Franciscan tradition starts, known as “St. Michael’s Lent.” More about that here:

St. Michael’s Lent

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Prisoner to Prisoner Daily Devotional

Matthew 25:36: “I was in prison, and you came to me.”

(Via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.)

A very good friend of mine is working with the following project. Please help if you can.

Below is a copy-and-paste of a post from his blog: Prisoner to Prisoner® Daily Devotional « Bro Jer’s Blog

“Prisoner to Prisoner (P2P®)is a 12 year-old ministry that was started in the Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Correction. In 2002 Kairos Prison Ministry of Ohio took over the operation of P2P® with a vision that Kairos state chapters, churches, individuals and other organizations would help expand the distribution of the devotionals to all states and to other countries”.

I would ask you all to please consider helping to spread the word about the P2P® Devotional.

Below is a copy of a recent appeal letter we sent out. Feel free to copy, print, re post, and share with anyone who may have an interest in this unique outreach to prisoners.

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

IT! IS! HOT! It was hot in July of 2003 when two strangers walked in the door of the print shop, handed me a ragged looking booklet and asked if I could do anything with it. Before I knew it, I was sitting out in the yard at Marion Correctional having a meeting, in which we came up with the current format of the P2P® Devotional. I have had the honor of printing the P2P® since that time and have been a member of the Managing Committee since 2004. My life has never been the same.

I have suggested over the years that we tell people just what it would take for this Ministry to operate, for us to be self supporting, without special fund raising. It really is very simple, yet, is a difficult goal to achieve. Many of those that receive the book are obviously not able to donate. We are currently printing and distributing 14,000 devotionals, six times a year. If we received one buck, what amounts to a can of soda or a burger off the dollar menu, for each book that goes out, we would be able to meet all the financial needs, have funds for promotion, and seek ways of further distribution. One book…one buck…one life changed. A buck will feed a prisoner spiritually for two months! Now tell me that is not a better deal… than a happy meal! Can I get an Amen??

So, PLEASE SEND MONEY! OK, we have that out-of-the-way. Heck, you know that is why you received this letter to begin with. What I would like to see happen is for each one who receives this letter to take a little extra time and get the P2P® into the hands of others. Help spread the word about this Ministry. Just as much as we need a really, REALLY, BIG CHECK…we need to have your help in promoting the P2P® Ministry. Could you help do that, please?

There were a few years that I personally took the delivery to Marion Correctional, where the books are repacked, then sent out to all the Ohio prisons. Each time, I tried to do the delivery when there was a “Prayer and Share” being held in the Chapel. There was one time that I walked out of Marion, sat in my truck…and cried, I mean bawled! I left the prison with a sense of how free some of the brothers there, were! The Holy Spirit was really present that day as we praised and worshiped our Lord. The P2P® is helping some of our brothers and sisters “behind the walls” experience freedom and peace which goes beyond alllllllllll understanding, a peace that can only come through the person of Jesus Christ.

What a privilege to be a small part of that!

I pray that you all have a very blessed summer

Your brother in Christ,

Jerry Kohlbrand

P2P Ministry Managing Committee

brojer4jc@gmail.com

PS. PLEASE SEND MONEY! oh, wait…I already said that

Cover

To request a subscription, make a donation, or for more information, please contact us at;

Prisoner to Prisoner®

Kairos Prison Ministry of Ohio

PO Box 750354

Dayton, Ohio 45475-0354

Phone: 937-765-6111

Email: prisoner2prisoner@gmail.com

+++BroJer

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Mental Health App for people in alcohol or addiction recovery

I discovered an interesting piece of software that might be very useful for anyone currently suffering or recovering from alcoholism and other addictions, or who have been sober and clean for a long time. It is developed for people with mental health concerns, or who are just interested in tracking their overall mental well-being. But I poked around the various functions, and feel that people in recovery can make good use of this, too.

It is called “Optimism”, and it is free for Macs, PCs, the iPhone (I guess no Android, yet) and can also be used just on the web.

(Via Optimism Apps.)

The following screenshots show some of the software’s usefulness (more screenshots and even a user manual can be found on the project’s website).

This first one depicts the Main page (what you should see when opening the app):

OptimismMainPageMainEntries

Along the left hand side you can see a panel entitled “Core Data.” This can be customized, like so:

MainPageCoreDataCustomize

Back to the Main page: there is a “Notes” button you can click on, and open up a window to write notes for the day, perhaps something like journal entries or random thoughts. The option to do this is just next to the “Main Entries” button along the right hand side of the app, this is what the “Notes” function looks like after clicking on that tab:

OptimismMainPageMainEntriesNotes

It is free. If you download the software, there are references to a trial version if you use the syncing functions. However, the website makes note that as of April 2012, it is free, for all versions. The developers intend to earn money through marketing it to clinicians and other medical personnel. For “ordinary” people, it is free. I guess not all of the software’s documentation has been updated.

I like this! I wish I was able to make use of this, or something like it, when I sobered up in 2002. According to the site, they’ve been making software since 2007. I wish I knew about it then!!

So, go ahead and download it and see how you can make use of it on your recovery path. Perhaps comment on this post what you think.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)